therosegoldprincess - Tumblr blog

[therosegoldprincess]

Ny anxiety has been very active lately and I don't know why. Just for literally no reason that makes sense. No matter what I do to try to take my mind off of it it is still there. Ive tried playing video games, watching youtube videos, movies, talking to friends, you name it and just ugh. It really sucks. I'm gonna tell my doctor to up my anxiety medication

[therosegoldprincess]

This is how i feel today

[therosegoldprincess]

Update: i got the job!!!

[therosegoldprincess]

Ok so like im late I know lol. But basically good day today, M&D and me all worked everything out and I was supposed to have a job interview today but it got rescheduled for 11 in the morning. Which is also good cuz I got to super focus on animal crossing today. Making my island into a mix of a modern/traditional japanese village based on Osaka. Making progess I'll include pics cuz I'm proud of what I did. I used IRL references as well as some dream addresses cuz people be mad creative. But I'm off to bed now its like 1am and I had to pull myself off my game. Anyway wish me luck on the interview and I'll post another update soon.

[therosegoldprincess]

Tuesday Bluesday

So today's drama, I.E. what got me inspired to start this blog thing in the first place cuz I needed somewhere to put my thoughts and feelings, was a nice big argument with Mom and Dad about....everything really. With this unemployment thing, I already had a hearing with my lawyer and the decision maker person thing (idk words) and I ended up losing despite us showing enough evidence that the reason I left work was due to stress. So my lawyer advised we appeal again, which I agreed to, and now Mom and Dad (mostly Dad) have opinions on what I need to do in order to win. Basically spend more time on the phone with my ex doctors office/employer talking in circles attempting to get records they wont give me because they are an incompetent company. So I expressed my disagreement to M&D's suggestion which ended up in an explosive argument resulting in them telling me that I won't listen to reason, and I don't have a job so I should move out. This broke my heart and really hurt me because I thought they understood my whole situation and how I am trying my best to do what I can but I have many limitations since I am autistic and struggle with other disabilities. We've already been down the line of a doctor coming into play to speak on my behalf how they need to back off and leave me alone because they are causing more stress than fixing, but being their only child causes them to come from an overbearing stand point where they saw me get hurt majorly after the divorce and want to do everything within their parental power to prevent something like that happening again, and sometimes emotions get too brazen and cause us to say things we don't mean. So I take a couple hours to hide and cool down after the disappointing argument and later M comes in and tells me she loves me and we hug and D makes Quesadillas for dinner and were all happy happy lovey lovey family again. Except the emotional damage from what was said doesn't jut go away. So I'm left alone to pick up the pieces from that and heal myself as usual. Oh and I have an interview tommorow for a job so I have to make sure I am in the right frame of mind and everything for that aswsell. But God is Good. He always has and always will get me through it I have Faith in Him

[therosegoldprincess]

Story from the beginning I guess

ok so long story short, i’m in my late 20′s and divorced. Not my choice, basically right before the pandemic, one day after 4 years he tells me he wasn’t happy and wanted different things. So we had to up and sell our house, and I was left with nowhere to go with my half of the belongings and my cat. Luckily found a relative willing to let me and my cat stay with her, so I lived there for a couple months when even more stress appeared in the form of getting a diagnosis of mild aspergers by a neurologist and figuring out on top of everything that the stress ive been experiencing at my full time job was partially sensory related and I need to change it up. I move back in with my parents after going on medical leave for a few months due to stress, start on ADHD and anxiety/depression meds. Things get better but once I start my job back up they get bad again and I quit 6 months later. I apply for unemployment benefits and receive them only for them to decide they should not have given them to me in the first place and now are asking for all that money they paid me back, which I am appealing with an attorney. I have since been searching for the right fit job, one that meets my needs and won’t put me back in the postion I just got myself out of so I can get a place of my own and move out of Mom and Dad’s. But I have not given up hope and never will because I am a Child of God and He has always been there for me, I am simply going to follow the path he leads me down and handle the obstacles as they come with His divine Grace. That about catches us up to speed for where I am now, follow me for updates on my story as they happen. Thanks in advance 

[therosegoldprincess]

today was stressful

it really was though. There is so much detail to my situation that I don’t have the energy to really share but all’s you need to know is that circumstances beyond my control changed my life for the worse and I am left to pick up the peices and put it all back together. I am trying to do that but it takes so much time and so much energy that I just don’t have right now. Should I start from the beginning? Let you know everything detail for detail? I guess that would be best but so many thoughts so little ability to get them all out