Ideal Scenarios: Eurovision 22
So this was going to be a 40 part tiktok series until I realised I wanted someone not-me to actually do the tikking and tokking.
Presenting: the ideal conditions for listening to the songs of Eurovision 2022
��🇷 Alvan & Ahez - Fulenn In a forest with cider drinkers in black
🇮🇹 Mahmood & Blanco - Brividi At 2am with either ennui or heartbreak or both
🇩🇪 Malik Harris - Rockstars In a doctor’s waiting room, on a radio you can’t switch away from the local commercial smooth station. You are horrified to find that Stan by Eminem is now commercial smooth
🇪🇸 Chanel - SloMo In an intermediate Latin class, where you are happy you have finally truly mastered your salsa basic
🇬🇧 Sam Ryder - Spaceman On the main stage at a summer music festival where it has NOT rained
🇦🇱 Ronela Hajati - Sekret Having it yelled right in your face by Ronela herself from a distance of minimum 2 metres
🇱🇻 Citi Zeni - Eat Your Salad In the vegetable aisle at Lidl
🇱🇹 Monika Liu - Sentimentai At 2am with either insouciance or slinkiness or both
🇨🇭 Marius Bear - Boys Do Cry At Christmas, while finding out what kind of year your cousins have had
🇸🇮 LPS - Disko At 2am with the party still going even if it shouldn’t
🇺🇦 Kalush Orchestra - Stefania At a street festival in a free and beautiful Kyiv
🇧🇬 Intelligent Music Project - Intention In a moving vehicle with a great deal of road noise
🇳🇱 S10 - De Diepte In an orchard, in the frozen depths of winter
🇲🇩 Zdob sí Zdub & Fratii Advahov - Trenuletul In the cab of a steam train, somewhere in Europe
🇵🇹 Maro - saudade, saudade In an orchard, on a hot afternoon after the blossom has passed
🇭🇷 Mia Dimšić - Guilty Pleasure In an orchard, with all the blossom out
🇩🇰 Reddi - The Show In Dansk Melodi Grand Prix, with the live instruments
🇦🇹 Lum!x & Pia Maria - Halo In a 6th form common room, being played by a youth who has this CD in their car, who wants to tell you about the car
🇮🇸 Systur - Með hækkandi sól In an orchard, on a cold afternoon with the blossom yet to come out
🇬🇷 Amanda Tenfjord - Die Together While filming yourself crying
🇳🇴 Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf A Banana At your end of term disco, and all your friends can do the moves
🇦🇲 Rosa Linn - Snap In an orchard, at apple picking time
🇫🇮 The Rasmus - Jezebel In 2003, with low slung jeans and a thick coating of Bad Gal eyeliner
🇮🇱 Michael Ben David - I.M. At the bar in Euroclub, knowing that some schlager is up next
🇷🇸 Konstrakta - In Corpore Sano At the magazine stand in a supermarket, having a health anxiety panic attack
🇦🇿 Nadir Rustamli - Fade To Black Standing on a spectacular viewpoint. In thick fog
🇬🇪 Circus Mircus - Lock Me In While parking and cloaking your spaceship
🇲🇹 Emma Muscat - I Am What I Am While being harangued at a MLM conference for not recruiting enough new partners
🇸🇲 Achille Lauro - Stripper In a dirty basement with hot people
🇦🇺 Sheldon Riley - Not The Same On the way home from a very fruitful therapy session
🇨🇾 Andromache - Ela In an orchard, on a hot afternoon with fruit ripening suggestively
🇮🇪 Brooke - That's Rich In a sticky pub that is part of some sort of ‘strip’ but having the time of your life
🇲🇰 Andrea - Circles In 2003, with low slung jeans and a thick coating of Bad Gal eyeliner, but sadly
🇪🇪 Stefan - Hope Standing on a spectacular viewpoint in baking hot sunshine
🇷🇴 WRS - Llamame On a resort holiday, while flirting all-inclusively
🇵🇱 Ochman - River Standing on a spectacular viewpoint in cinematic drizzle
🇲🇪 Vladana - Breathe Standing on a spectacular viewpoint dressed in a highly editorial haute couture look
🇧🇪 Jérémie Makiese - Miss You Inside a well-lit cheese grater (if you know, you know)
🇸🇪 Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer Halfway down a pint of ice cream, under a duvet
🇨🇿 We Are Domi - Lights Off In the home decor department, secretly raving
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