this-mess-of-a-man - Tumblr blog

[this-mess-of-a-man]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[this-mess-of-a-man]

love to purchase items but at what cost

[this-mess-of-a-man]

[this-mess-of-a-man]

Why does basil smell so fucking amazing

[this-mess-of-a-man]

yr not a freak tranny fagdyke if u cant handle poly people or kinks u dont like just btw

[this-mess-of-a-man]

i have never successfully articulated anything ever but i got very close, once

[this-mess-of-a-man]

So when my mom was going back to school for her masters, I was a little kid and got enrolled in the on-campus pre-school where they give people going into child care professions some hands on experience while also offering a free place to drop off your kid when going to class.

Anyway I found the portfolio they made of me back then and honestly this one entry almost made me cry when I got to the end.

[this-mess-of-a-man]

[this-mess-of-a-man]

being held would be so cool. wish physical touch was real

[this-mess-of-a-man]

On Isolation

[this-mess-of-a-man]

they should invent a tummy that doesnt hurt

[this-mess-of-a-man]

Do you accidentally look at people’s phones without realizing it

Yes, often

Yes, sometimes

Yes, but on purpose

No

Other

See results

[this-mess-of-a-man]

Well those are allllmost done

[this-mess-of-a-man]

[this-mess-of-a-man]

it's always a good day to complain about English speakers

[this-mess-of-a-man]

nazism is illegal in germany. using nazi greetings and flying nazi flags is illegal in germany. why isnt the kkk unconstitutional in america. why arent white hoods and white supremacist propaganda illegal here. why.

[this-mess-of-a-man]

Alright. We’re settling this discourse once and for all.

In the tags, tell me your opinion on:

Mayonnaise

Frozen Yogurt 

Salt and Vinegar Chips

Sweet Potatoes

Kiwi

Ginger Ale

Microwave Ramen