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thxliaaa · 2 years

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Enough for You

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Angstember Prompt - "I really wish you had told me that before I went and fell in love with you."

In the beginning, like most things were, it was good. It started with the feeling of butterflies in your stomach and your heart skipping a beat, it evolved into realisation of what your feelings were and hope that he could feel the same. It grew into stolen glances and longing until it finally turned into a desperate kiss, your face cupped in his hands and yours gripping the fabric of his robe.

Like all things, it started out good.

Of course once the two of you sorted through your feelings, once the two of you finally sat down together and confessed that you wanted more than friendship, it had to be kept a secret. Neither of you cared about that though, it was nice having something that was only yours.

And for two years it was good.

You and Anakin hardly had that awkward stage at the beginning of your relationship, the one that consisted of dancing around each other as you got to know one another. You had been friends for years, you had met him when you were ten years old, your Master had fallen ill and had been confined to the Halls of Healing leaving you alone. Anakin had found you one day, struggling to meditate and that’s how Obi-Wan found his Padawan hours later, sat next to you as he taught you as his Master taught him.

From there on you and Anakin had become inseparable, a closeness that had many raising an eyebrow but only voiced concerns quietly to each other. Master Jedi may not have liked how close you were, a friendship that seemed like an attachment, but they couldn’t deny when your Master’s went on missions together you and Anakin worked flawlessly together.

As the years passed the bond between you and Anakin only got stronger and stronger. The two of you were always at each other's side, training together, exploring the grounds and the Temple, sneaking out together and seeing Coruscant together. There had been occasions where you and Anakin had stolen one of the speeders so Anakin could show off to you, it always ended with you clinging to him as he took corners way too fast and Obi-Wan scolding the pair of you.

Seven years of friendship seemed to fly by as fast as Anakin on a speeder and suddenly the two of you were seventeen. Neither of you particularly liked looking back on most of your time as seventeen years old, not when it was the first year that saw the two of you distancing yourselves from the other.

It wasn’t as though you’d had a falling out with each other, it wasn't like you didn’t want to spend your days at his side but it was the first year that you both seemed to make sense of everything you had been feeling. Of course these feelings weren’t new to either of you, you had both been feeling them for years now but before they didn’t seem significant, they didn’t seem like something that needed to be looked into because they didn’t mean anything back then.

But now…now they meant something and you couldn’t be around Anakin without becoming flustered and he couldn’t be around you without flushing and stammering through a sentence.

It wasn’t a pleasant eight months to say the least. Both of you had become so used to spending seven years attached to each other that to suddenly be without the other was lonely, there wasn’t a better word for it. Both of you were lonely and it was for that reason that you both eventually ended up sitting down with each other and telling each other how you felt.

Obviously it wasn’t an easy conversation. The Jedi had spent years drilling it into your heads about how attachments were wrong, about how loving a singular person was a one way path to the Dark Side. To confess your feelings to each other went against everything you had both been taught and yet it hadn’t stopped you. If any was going to break the Jedi Code then it would come as no shock to anybody that it would be you and Anakin.

After that conversation things quickly went back to normal and you and Anakin easily fell back into each other's lives like you’d never been separated. It worried many of the elder Jedi but others, like Obi-Wan and your own Master, were just relieved after having put up with eight months of grumpy and sad Padawan’s.

It wasn’t hard to keep your relationship a secret. By now you and Anakin knew plenty of hiding places in the Temple and the two of you disappearing for hours had long since stopped concerning people so nobody would come looking for you. It also helped that your Master’s tended to go on missions together so you and Anakin were able to sneak away there and explore the new sights together. There had been plenty of times you’d been in his chambers or him in yours and had nearly been caught locked at the lips but Anakin was quite good at multitasking and was always able to warn you before somebody entered the room, giving you a minute to compose yourselves.

In the time you had been dating Anakin had snuck you out of the Temple more times than you could count, always pulling you along with him to whatever surprise he had planned. Sometimes it was a picnic in a quiet place that took a long time to get to but it was always worth it. Other times it was to explore different things, join celebrations in the city, many times though it was a chance to blend in amongst the crowd and act like a normal couple.

It might have been annoying at times to hide your relationship, neither you nor Anakin saw how it would lead you to the Dark Side, but you made it work.

And then Master Kenobi walked into his chambers, you and Anakin barely having time to pull away from each other as he did. Master Kenobi looked between the two of you with a look you couldn’t quite discern but it was gone just as quietly as he told you and Anakin you were to watch over the Senator of Naboo.

Anakin immediately beamed at the news causing you to raise an eyebrow but you shrugged it off and instead asking why you were going. It wasn’t rare for you to join Anakin and Obi-Wan on a mission but usually your Master joined though lately it was becoming less often as he got older. Obi-Wan just smiled at you and told you your Master had suggested it to the Council and they had agreed.

It wasn’t long until the three of you were on your way to meet the Senator. You liked to think you knew Anakin pretty well by now, liked to think you could read his easily but now as you stared at him, fingers tugging on the braid as his leg bounced you would have said, easily, that he was nervous.

But what was there to be nervous about?

Obi-Wan too picked up on Anakin’s nerves as the three of you arrived at the Senate building and entered the turbolift up to the Senator’s apartment, glancing at his Padawan who fidgeted with his robes and tugged on the braid again.

“You seem a little on edge.” Obi-wan prompted, breaking the silence in the lift and you couldn’t help but stand straighter, waiting for Anakin’s response.

“Not at all.” Anakin replied, the words entirely unconvincing to you, causing your eyebrows to knit together as you frowned, folding your arms together.

Obi-Wan continued on and you listened to the two of them bicker back and forth for a moment before the two of them laughed and Obi-Wan turned towards his Padawan, just looking for a second before he spoke.

“You’re sweating,” He told Anakin and you lifted your head slightly at that, looking at Anakin out of the corners of your eyes and seeing Obi-Wan was right. “Relax, take a deep breath.”

You had a feeling in the pit of your stomach, a bad one, one that felt heavy and cold and you desperately tried to push it away. Nothing had happened, so what Anakin was nervous, so what he was acting like he had when the two of you didn’t speak in the eight months you had drifted apart because of your crush.

It didn’t mean anything.

“I haven’t seen her in ten years, Master.” Anakin murmured quietly to Obi-Wan and you closed your eyes desperate to fight back any emotion, trying to force everything you were feeling out into the Force.

Nothing more was said in the turbolift, Obi-Wan just let out a small sigh and Anakin frowned, glancing at you before doing a double take as if he had forgot you were there but you just looked ahead, acting as if you had missed the look before the door opened and you stepped out.

Seeing the Senator of Naboo only made the cold feeling inside you grow. Of course she was beautiful, with her hair pulled up in an intricate design, his voice soft and light. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of brown that seemed to light up as she looked at Anakin, looked at Ani.

Of course she was beautiful.

Anakin himself seemed even more nervous than he had been in the turbolift. As he addressed her a smile came across his face, shy and sweet and adoring. Then he went and called her beautiful and he wasn’t wrong but it still twisted the knife you felt had been plunged into you.

Obi-Wan glanced away as Anakin stumbled over his words, a look on his face as if to say what in the stars is he doing before it was replaced by a concerned look as he took in the look on your face. You thought you were doing a better job at hiding it but apparently not, apparently there was enough hurt, enough jealousy and fear on your face to give something away.

You forced yourself again to expel your feelings into the Force, perhaps too forcefully if the way Anakin turned to you and Obi-Wan’s raised eyebrows meant anything.

“Ah Senator, this is Padawan Y/F/N Y/L/N, she will be assisting in the protection of your safety.” Obi-Wan introduced you softly, sparing you another concerned glance but you forced a neutral look onto your face before bowing your head towards the Senator.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” She said in that soft tone of hers, a warm smile on her face as she held a hand out for you.

“Pleased to meet you, Senator.” You replied evenly, swallowing against the lump in your throat you reached out and shook her hand.

Obi-Wan began discussions about Padmé’s protection with Captain Typho and you listened half-heartedly though you didn’t take much in. You sat on one side of Obi-Wan and Anakin sat on the other, something which made Obi-Wan raise an eyebrow but as he looked at Anakin he saw his gaze was focused on Padmé and you were much more interested in your fingers playing with your robes than you were with him.

“-not to start an investigation.” You heard Obi-Wan tell the Senator but then Anakin quickly interrupted him in a way he wouldn't have had the Senator been anybody else.

“We will find out who’s trying to kill you Padmé.” At those words you glanced up, looking over far enough to see Obi-Wan’s look of disapproval, disapproval that only deepened at Anakin’s next words. “I promise you.”

As Obi-Wan argued against Anakin’s words you couldn’t help but look away again, not baring to look at Anakin or Padmé. He was trying to impress her, his mission here wasn’t about finding the person trying to kill her it was only to protect and yet here he was jumping at the chance to do as she asked, the chance to gain her favour.

You knew it all too well because it was what he had done with you, in an effort to impress you any time you said you wanted something Anakin wouldn’t hesitate to do it in hopes that you would like him more. Of course you hadn’t realised that was what he was doing until after you were dating but now you saw it clear as day.

The cold feeling in your stomach only grew as Anakin argued with Obi-Wan, desperate to find the person trying to kill the Senate. You hated the sudden stinging in your eyes and your lips quivered as you tried to fight tears back. There was no use getting upset, you could still be blowing this out of proportion.

And yet something told you you weren’t. You didn’t have a good feeling about this mission.

It wasn’t long until everyone retired from the meeting leaving you, Anakin and Obi-Wan alone. Anakin went out to the balcony and Obi-Wan followed behind him. You stayed where you were on the sofa, barely noticing them leave as your mind was clouded with sadness and anger.

Perhaps this is why the Jedi didn’t let you fall in love, to form attachments.

Of course you weren’t planning on falling to the Dark Side just because Anakin had a crush on the Senator but you could see how a Jedi could fall. How the anger and pain at losing a loved one in such a way, a way that would create jealousy and hatred, could lead to a Jedi falling.

You loved Anakin with all your heart. At first it had scared you just how much power Anakin held over you, how he had the ability to break you with just a few words but then months passed, beautiful and joyous months that settled your nerves. He was it for you, there would never be another.

You had once thought he felt the same for you.

He said he hadn’t seen the Senator for ten years, a year before he met you. All that time he had spent with you she was somewhere in his mind, however distant, she was there. You had seen his face when she spoke to him, the guilt as he glanced at you in the turbolift, he had always had her in his mind.

Whilst your entire heart was his, he only shared a bit of his with you, some part of it always belonged to her even if he had been but a child when he first met her.

You lay on the sofa, facing the back of it and closed your eyes but it did nothing to stop the tears that slid from them and it took all your effort to cry silently, to push the sobs you felt down.

You had never been his, not in the way he had been yours.

“I’d much rather dream about Padmé.” You heard Anakin tell Obi-Wan as they stepped closer to the main room, “just being around her again is intoxicating.”

“And what of Y/N?” You heard Obi-Wan ask and your blood ran cold again as you forced yourself to relax as they entered the room, not wanting them to know you were awake. You missed the questioning glance Anakin shot towards Obi-Wan, surely the man couldn’t know. “I would have thought after spending so many years at her side, Padmé wouldn’t have filled your thoughts.”

Anakin was silent for a long moment, a moment that you spent trying to stay quiet, even as sobs built up in your throat.

“Of course when I’m with Y/N it’s different. They’re so different from each other that Padmé doesn’t cross my mind all that often but I still think about her. I still dream about her some days, the angel I met on Tatooine.” Anakin’s words had you pleading with the Force, desperate to stay silent even as you felt your heart break. “Y/N is my best friend but compared to Padmé-”

“And here I thought Y/N meant more to you than that.” Obi-Wan murmured thoughtfully, causing Anakin to still and turn to face his Master.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Anakin asked defensively.

“Nothing, young Padawan, just that I have spent years watching you and Y/N, watching as your friendship grew. I suggest if you feel this way for Padmé you tell Y/N how you feel. Not that it should matter of course, you swore your commitment to the Jedi Order, a commitment that forbids attachment, not that I need to remind you of that, right Padawan?” You felt your heart skip a beat at Obi-Wan’s words because he knew- he knew about you and Anakin.

There was no doubt about it, Obi-Wan had to know why else would bring you up at all? If you were truly just a friend to Anakin why would he have to tell you that he loved the Senator. Obi-Wan knew about you and Anakin, how long had he known? Why had he let the two of you carry on instead of turning you over to the Council for such a blatant breach of the Code?

“Of course not, Master. I am well aware of the Code.” Anakin told him evenly, glancing away from his Master.

As the two of them spoke you felt something shift, a disturbance that had you frowning as you tried to figure out whether it was something in the Force warning you of danger or if it were simply your own emotions.

“I sense it too.” You heard Obi-Wan say and you sat up in time to see them running into the Senator’s room.

You quickly wiped your eyes on your robe and followed behind them and watched as Anakin pulled his lightsaber out, dealing with whatever had been about to harm the Senator.

You were able to ignore your feelings as you took in the scene but then Obi-Wan told you to watch over the Senator as he and Anakin went to track down the droid and though you hated the thought you nodded and watched them leave.

You glanced at the Senator and found the feelings slamming into you, the pain and the hurt and the anger all too overwhelming.

“Are you alright?” Padmé asked you, even in the darkness of the room she could see the redness of your eyes.

“Just fine.” You told her evenly, voice coming out cold as you tried to choke back your emotions, scanning the room once before leaving. The Senator followed behind you, though you wished she’d just go back to sleep so you could have a minute alone to process everything.

“You don’t like me much, do you?” She asked, sitting on the sofa opposite you.

“I don’t know you.” You answered as close to the truth as you could get because the truth was no, you didn’t like her all that much. How could you? You were more than aware it wasn’t her fault, she was beautiful, what had Anakin called her, an angel?

He was right about that and you hated it.

“And yet you look at me like I’m your enemy.” She told you and you couldn’t help but frown as you looked away from her. “Does this have something to do with Ani?”

Ani, you hated the way the word fell from her lips like it was familiar.

“No, Senator. Like I said I don’t have a problem with you, I don’t know you. You really should go back to sleep.” You told her, still not able to bring yourself to look at her, knowing if you did you would only be able to compare yourself to her, to wonder what she had that you didn’t.

Why was she good enough for Anakin and you weren’t? You who had spent years at his side, years giving him all your love, giving him your heart.

“I can hardly sleep after another attempt on my life.” She told you lightly and you could feel her gaze on you. All you wanted to do was leave, to make her look away, to scream and cry and curse the world but you couldn’t do any of that right now. “Besides, I'd much rather talk to you, to find out why you don’t like me.”

You took a deep breath, forcing your emotions into the Force again but there were too many and they just kept building up and you knew eventually they’d explode from you. You needed to be alone desperately, all you wanted was to be alone.

“It is Anakin, isn’t it?” She pushed and if she kept prodding you knew she would be the one your emotions turned on. “Wait, do you like Anakin? I didn’t think the Jedi were-”

You couldn’t take it, you couldn’t listen to her piece the situation together, couldn’t listen as she laughed at how foolish someone like you was for falling for someone like Anakin when someone like her existed.

You stood abruptly from your seat causing Padmé to say your name softly but you ignored her and strode from the room, ignoring as the Senator called after you. You knew Obi-Wan would scold you for this later, for leaving the Senator alone barely ten minutes after her assassination attempt. You knew if something happened to her you’d have more problems than a telling off from Obi-Wan but right now you didn’t care.

All you cared about was being as far away from her and from Anakin and from everybody as you could be.

You eventually found an empty room not too many floors down from the Senator’s apartment. The view was beautiful but you hardly noticed it as you sat on the floor, the only light coming from the floor to ceiling windows.

You let your eyes fall closed, let all your emotions come to the surface and let the tears fall down your cheeks uncontrollably. A few sobs may have escaped you but you didn’t hear them as you tried to push your feelings into the Force but you couldn’t, they were too strong and they seemed to cling to you, making you feel every bit of them.

You didn’t know how long passed until the door opened as somebody sat next to you. You knew it was Anakin, you knew what he felt like in the Force better than you knew yourself. The feeling in the pit of your stomach seemed at its heaviest, at its coldest and you really didn’t have a good feeling about this conversation.

You knew what was going to happen, knew it had to happen and yet you were completely unprepared. You had never had to be without Anakin, even in those few months you had grown apart you didn’t cut yourself off from him completely but after this you didn’t know if you could look at him again without breaking down.

“You love her.” You said stoically when it became clear he wasn’t going to speak first.

“I don’t want to.” He told you, voice shaking as he spoke and you couldn’t help the huff of laughter that left you.

“But you love her.” You said, voice breaking as tears continued to fall down your cheeks.

“I love you too.” He pleaded with you, desperate for you to know that.

“But you love her more, right? Otherwise I would have been enough for you. If you loved me as much as I love you then there wouldn’t be room for another in your heart.” You had yet to open your eyes, you didn’t think you could look at him, not with your emotions this close to the surface.

“I can’t help it, Y/N. If I could get rid of my feelings for her I would have done it years ago but I can’t. She’s always in my mind, sometimes she’s in my dreams and seeing her again brought those feelings forward again.” Anakin told you, sniffing as he fought back his own tears.

“I really wish you had told me that before I went and fell in love with you. I wish you cared enough about me to spare my feelings, to spare me the humiliation-”

“I didn’t know I was going to meet her again! I thought I’d never see her again and I love you. I love you dearly, Y/N, don’t ever think I don’t.” Anakin exclaimed and you finally opened your eyes.

He was sat next to you, tears falling down his cheeks as he stared at you with wide eyes but you shook your head.

“You don’t love me, Anakin.” You told him coldly, forcing your tears to stop if only for a few moments, “You don’t because I love you and I know that I would never do this to you. You were the only person I cared for this much, the only person I loved enough to break the Code for. I would have done anything for you, Anakin, anything. Now I feel as though I’m looking at a stranger.”

“Come on Y/N, please don’t say that. I love you, all our years together-”

“Were nothing more to you than a distraction from Padmé!” You exclaimed standing up and wiping your eyes angrily.

“Don’t say that!” Anakin shot back, standing up as well. “Don’t ever say that, don’t think it. My time with you was real, it was honest, every moment and every word of it. Don’t erase it now, Y/N.”

“Two years we have been together, loved each other for much longer. You were my best friend, Anakin.” You told him, your voice breaking as he stared at you with wide, pleading eyes. “You knew her for moments compared to us, met her when you were only a child and yet somehow she is more important to you than I could ever be.”

“Y/N,” He pleaded with you but no other words came out of his mouth.

“You broke my heart Anakin. I always knew you had the power to do it but, stars, I never thought you actually would.” You laughed, a sad sob of a laugh. “I really hope she was worth it Anakin, I hope she makes you so happy.”

“Come on Y/N, please don’t do this.” Tears continued to fall from his eyes as he pleaded with you but you shook your head.

“I’m not the one doing this, Anakin. You’re the one who let me fall in love with you whilst your heart belonged to another. This is all on you. You are the reason I have lost not only the love of my life but my best friend too.” You told him, your voice breaking again as you fought tears back.

“I’m sorry.” He told you, his voice barely above a whisper and you shook your head, turning to leave the room, sparing him one last glance.

“I really hope she’s worth it.” You told him, a smile, shaky and filled with sadness and bitterness and anger spreading across your face as Anakin’s eyes fell closed and you left the room, leaving behind the man you loved with a broken heart and tears falling from your eyes.

Anakin Skywalker Taglist -

@captainamericasdaughter15, @daisyfreshwhore, @alexxavicry, @mukbee, @bubsonnobx, @starkillerrr, @heyitsaloy ,@midnightsmelodies, @f-sant, @fairydxll, @midnightlikeschezyt, @sweetcheesecakesblog, @punkpirate82, @bookfrog242

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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Oh yay! Im glad u r. Could u write a blurb with steve and reader where they are secretly dating and the gang doesnt know and maybe reader says some secret about steve to the gang and steve hears and says "oh you wanna start telling secrets?" and begins to say about their relationship but she covers his mouth and pulls him away. Something of that sort. Only if ur interested.

if i'm interested? babe i'm foaming at the mouth with this request ♥

"He doesn't seem superstitious."

“Steve, not superstitious?” you laugh at Lucas' assumption, knowing very well it's not true. "Yes, he is. He has a pair of sneakers that he calls his lucky sneakers, for God's sake.”

“Really?” Dustin asks, probably surprised to find out something new about Steve at this point. “Why would he think that sneakers give him luck?”

“Well…” You dip your foot into the water absently, sitting by Steve's pool and deeply enjoying the summer sun. The kids are staring at you with puzzled expressions. “He was wearing them when he got the job at Scoops Ahoy and at Family Video, and now he thinks they're really-”

You stop talking because someone has just come to a stop right behind you, shielding your body from the sun. Someone with a wonderful scent that you find terribly familiar, something fresh and citrusy mixed with the signature scent of sunscreen you'd all shared earlier.

You lift your chin and look up at Steve with an expression that probably looks guilty. He's got his head angled down to look at you too, quite calm.

“Ohh, you wanna start telling secrets?” he says slyly, an evil grin slowly taking over his handsome features. “I also wore my lucky sneakers when I asked if you wanted to-”

You get up so fast it's a miracle you don't trip and fall right there, but you're so focused on getting Steve to stop talking that you don't even think about what you're doing. You do the first and most effective thing that comes to your mind: cover his mouth with your hand.

You can feel his lips forming a smile against your palm almost instantly. Was he really going to tell them that you two are secretly dating?

You don't have to look to know; Max must be raising an eyebrow right now. Dustin is sure to have a lot of questions he's dying to ask. Kind of panicking, you start pulling Steve by the arm towards the house before anyone can say anything.

“Ow, ow,” he complains, stumbling along the path but allowing you to drag him without any resistance. "What's it?"

You close the door behind the two of you and see he has a big smile on his face. "What's it? Steve! You were going to tell them that the two of us...that the two of us-”

“-that the two of us...?” he encourages, apparently having lots of fun.

You slap his arm lightly.

“Steve!”

He takes your waist into his hands and pulls you closer than you should probably let him, touching the tip of his nose to your cheek affectionately. “You're the one who started it.”

“I thought it was supposed to be a secret.”

"You wanted it to be a secret."

“You agreed,” you remind him.

"Because I wanted to be with you anyway."

Your palm is warm on his chest when you gently push him a little to stare at his face. "You don't mind if people find out?"

You stare at each other for a few seconds before he's moving closer again, lips seeking yours but finding only the corner of your mouth when you turn away, giggling but still worried about the high probability of some of the kids coming in here out of nowhere and finding you two.

“I only care about you,” he murmurs, angling his head so he can kiss your neck. You sigh, your skin heating up under his attention.

Trying to think clearly, you take a step back and swallow hard. Steve places a firm hand on your back and pulls you flush against him, even closer than you were before. The side of your nose touches his and you blink.

“Steve,” you sigh.

He leans in and presses his lips down on yours for barely a second. “I want to kiss you in public,” he murmurs.

"Steve."

Another kiss.

“I want to walk hand in hand with you.”

He kisses you again, this time longer and sloppier. You're pretty close to melting, you're sure.

“Steve,” you say again, weakly. Your throat is getting dry, your heart performing all kinds of jumps inside your chest.

“Fuck, I want to show you off,” he smiles and you laugh, putting your hands around his neck and lifting your chin, hoping he notices you're expecting a proper kiss and gives it to you.

He notices, of course. But Steve only gets close enough so the two of you are breathing the same air, lips barely touching. “But if you don't feel comfortable telling people yet, that's fine too. I can-"

“Okay,” you cut him off.

"Okay?"

You kiss the tip of his nose lightly.

"Let's tell them," you say, grinning like a kid in a candy shop. "Let's tell them now."

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thxliaaa · 2 years

Text

𝐨𝐨𝐨. CARELESS WHISPERS ; anakin skywalker

pairing! anakin skywalker x gn!reader

synopsis! sleeping with anakin was like coming home after a long day; his arms held a strange feeling of safety and made you feel at home. everything was peaceful until he learned about the fact that you tend to talk in your sleep

warnings! fluff, sleep talking which leads anakin to tease you ab it, anakin calls reader 'my love' and 'sweetheart', lmk if i missed smth !!

word count! 0.8k

notes! so apparently i sleep talk 🚶🏻‍♀️ and thats why this exists (the stuff i say doesn't even make sense like girl 'i need to drink' what do u need to drink 😟⁉️) I HAVE RLLY MIXED FEELINGS AB THIS WRITING so 👍🏻👍🏻 ,, liking, reblogging & commenting is deeply appreciated <3

He could hear those silent whispers of yours almost every night, yet he couldn't find himself to complain about it because some part of him enjoyed listening to them and your reactions to him exposing every single word you said to you in the morning was far too good to miss. You'd sit beside him and try to process the information because how could you say something that stupid didn't make sense to you and he just teased you more but both of you laughed at it at the end.

Anakin found himself in the situation again as he was laying down on a bed with you on top of him, hugging you close to his frame and watching you closely with sleepy eyes. He was getting pretty tired but your sweet whispering was worth the missed sleep if he got the chance to hear your voice just a little more that day.

His hand was resting on your jaw, his thumb brushing against the apple of your cheek affectionately, showing you the actions he wasn't allowed to do in public areas. And he hated it. Maker, how he despised the way he couldn't be with you freely as he wished. Holding your hand, walking around with you longer than it was required, even looking at you in a certain way was out of question if you were a Jedi. Which he was. And you were as well.

The corners of your lips tugged up and you nuzzled your face closer into the crook of his neck, which caused thoughts to enter his sleepless mind. You were probably dreaming about something nice right now, based on how your facial expression brightened and Anakin was happy that at least either one of you enjoyed the state of dreams without being interrupted by a sudden and uninvited nightmare. But there was a certain thing he was expecting tonight.

The sweet whispers of your thoughts left your sleeping form and carried themselves into the space of the silent room like a light wind on a sunny day and Anakin caught them without any trouble, trying to remember as much of them as he could so when there was a time he wouldn't see you, he could just simply rewind the voice in his head and listen to it again and again and never get tired of it.

Some nights you weren't making a sense at all with your 'I need more' and 'Place it right here' and confusing the man beside you to no end. What did you need? And why would you need more of it? Place it right there? Anakin's thoughts were running miles at the rate of his thinking. Tonight's night seemed to be one of those, when you would actually reply to him and he couldn't be happier at the discovery. Messing with you was fun.

"Ani," the whisper of his name got his attention from La la land back to you, the blue of his eyes resting on your face in a comfortable silence as he waited for more. "Anakin."

"Yes, my love?"

You shuffled around a bit in your sleep, a barely noticeable smile now grazed your lips. You were so beautiful to him, even in your sleep. "I need to tell you something."

Anakin let out a whisper of his own as his thumb continued on caressing your skin, the movement so gentle you could barely feel it. His way of showing some affection but still trying his hardest to not wake you up. "Go on, I'm listening."

"It's really important."

His lips pulled up a smile so big it caused his cheeks to throb from the not very familiar action. This type of smiles were reserved only around you and only for you, there wasn't really any other reason to show them around and you two unfortunately didn't spend a lot of free time together.

"Very important. But I trust you with my secrets. So I'm gonna tell you."

The Jedi waited with patience, his eyes glistening in the moonlight like the very same stars in the sky while he gazed down at you with a look you couldn't place a finger on. They were always full of determination, boldness and courage which were qualities he's grown to be proud of. But around you they've got the spark of passion, intimacy and fondness.

"I'm right here, you can tell me anything."

"I love you."

Anakin tensed under you, feeling the warmth of your breath fanning the side of his face a bit (which he didn't mind, it gave him some sort of comfort knowing you were sleeping next to him well). He expected everything, literally anything else than a love confession out of you. But it was nice and sweet and the man liked the feeling it came with so he hugged you close with his hand still holding your face and let out a whisper on his own once again. "I love you as well, sweetheart."

"But don't tell Anakin."

He could only chuckle quietly at this and finally let his mind rest.

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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honestly maybe i should. i can just imagine his face finding that out 😭😭

so my boyfriend and i were binge watching stranger things season 3 (we only got up to the part where robin and steve was drugged) and then he said we should be robin and steve for halloween cause they’re really sweet lovers 😭😭

how do i tell this mf that robin is lesbian

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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how do i tell this mf that robin is lesbian

#eloise talks!!#stranger things

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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idk about y'all guys but season 1 five>>>>

THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIM THAT'S SO AAAAAAAA

#the umbrella academy #number five #five hargreeves

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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OMG READER SLAYS I LOVE THEM !! this made my heart break but i love it !! <33

Afraid of Change - Alternative Ending

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warning: cheating au, implied smut

A/N: this is the alt ending to Afraid of Change and this isn’t any better lol but def the ending some people want :)

***

It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.

The thought of being fine has always been empty words to you, not meaning the most. But as you step into the elevator and press the worn down button of the fifteenth floor all you can do is pray. Pray to whoever will listen that, yes, you will be fine.

You’re not sure when the suspicion rose within your mind, but recently it’s been all your thoughts. When you’re falling asleep and right when you’re waking up. As you walk down the hallway, twenty steps until the door, you hold onto the ring that rests on your right middle finger. You never had the confidence to put it on your left hand or even your ring finger, in case he’ll notice. It’s a constant reminder of what was and what should’ve been.

“It’s a placeholder for the real thing. One day, I promise…”

You’ve never been one for confrontation and honestly the second you unlock the door you might not dive into it. And that’s what happens when you close the door and put your belongings on the dining table. The urge to say something about what you are so sure of dissipates the longer you stand in place. I have to hear him say it…a slip up. And then I’ll find the courage. Is what you say to yourself to fight back your nerves.

You quickly go for the cabinet and fill a cup of water for yourself. As you sip you can hear rustling of paper down the hall, near the bedroom. In his study as always. You’re sure that he knows your home, but despite that you stand near the doorframe. You see his back and the rapid scribbling he’s doing. Your eyes immediately drift to the glass of whiskey to his left. And then the bottle, half empty, close by.

Always drinking. Always tipsy.

You clear your throat. “Have you had dinner?”

Without a flinch to your voice, seeing as he could hear your breathing from behind him since you got there, he raises the glass. “It’s right here.”

Jesus.

You’ve never liked staying in his study. (Not like he also enjoyed it…since he’s a workaholic and needs absolute silence.) You can’t help but step inside and stand near the bookcase and distract yourself with not really reading the titles. You distract yourself with the differentiating heights of the books. You picked up on distracting yourself a lot these days.

He sighs. “I’m working on something very important here and I need you to-” another sigh, “Did you want something?”

This makes you turn your head towards him. He’s not even looking at you. Still making markings on countless papers.

“No, not really.”

With that you make your way back into the hall, towards the bedroom. The first thing you notice is that your side of the bed is still unmade. Something about waking up by yourself this morning made you rush to get to work earlier than usual. You distract yourself with getting ready for bed. It’s not even late, barely past eight, but you have to do something. You think taking a shower first is better. As you undress and dip your hand into the rushing water to test the temperature, your eyes find their way to all his things in the bathroom. To his toothbrush, his pair of glasses lying on the porcelain of the sink, and to his towel hanging next to yours.

God, I’ve never been good with distractions when it comes to him.

And if the shower isn’t the best place to get lost within yourself.

While you stand under the downpour you think of three months ago.

“I’ve always liked you best this way.” Five said from his place by the dresser. Hands in both of his pant pockets. Glasses on the bridge of his nose and hair in disarray.

“What way?” You glanced curiously up from your spot in bed, back against the headboard, and a small book with collections of poems in your hands.

“Like this,” he made his way to you, “Wearing just a comfy t-shirt, in bed, and focused on something you like.” As he sat by your feet your cat jumped up from the other end and came to stay right by your side. “I guess he likes it too.” He said, resting a hand on your leg that was under the blanket.

A playful grin makes its way on your face. “Why is the lack of clothes I’m wearing the first thing you mention?”

His hand continued to move up your body and you finally noticed how close he had gotten. He leaned to kiss you before leaning dangerously closer besides your ear.

“You better get the cat off the bed.”

Your brought back by the sound of a shampoo bottle slipping off the edge of the tub, sliding by your feet. You bend to pick it up and put it back. You think nothing else as you continue to shower.

After about ten more minutes your wrap a towel around yourself. The mirror is quite fogged up but you don’t wish to see yourself anyways. The clothes you change into are cozy and entirely your own. (You used to have a habit of stealing Five’s shirts…but is it technically stealing if you buy them for him since he can’t be bothered?) You do what you need to do to finish getting ready for bed and you finally step back into the bedroom. You see your cat is already curled up sleeping but instantly comes to when you get in.

You instinctively run a hand over him and find yourself smiling as he purrs. “How was your day cat? Hope you did a lot of people watching from the window. I know you love that.” You whisper in case Five can hear you and interrupt his work. You sink deeper into the sheets and rest your head on the pillow. As you stare another memory floods over you.

“Five, I’m giving you the responsibility of naming him.”

He grunted in protest from the dining table. He watched you on the couch holding the rescue in your arms. You looked up from rubbing the cat’s belly and waited. Nodding your head in confirmation that he has to name him. Swinging one leg over the other, he said, “Cat.”

You laughed, “Yes, Five, I know he’s a cat.”

“No, silly. I’m naming him Cat.”

You gave an incredulous look in reply. With that he got up and before entering the kitchen he said, “You know I like to keep things simple. Cat is the simplest.”

You looked down to Cat while you heard Five opening the fridge. You weren’t even mad, in fact you found it funny. “Cat you’ll be then.”

After that you fell asleep with your hand resting on Cat’s back.

***

In the morning you wake up later than you normally allow yourself to. Cat is nowhere in sight, so you assume he’s in the living room waiting for breakfast. You look over and the other side of the bed is exactly how you found it yesterday. This annoys you slightly. You stand up and stretch your back out before heading to feed Cat. You hear Five talking to himself as you pass the study. He definitely didn’t get any sleep. You ignore this and focus on Cat. He’s exactly where you thought you’d find him, waiting by the window in the living room.

After two minutes, you gently place his new food on the floor and start making yourself breakfast. You need something comforting right now, so you make your favorite blueberry pancakes. After you’ve set your plate you take in that you made enough for two. Despite all your worry and suspicions you grab another plate.

You walk plate in hand and you’ve even got a smaller dish with syrup in the other. You knock, even though the door was already somewhat open, and wait for his response. He doesn’t and you can’t take standing out there any longer so you push inside. He doesn’t say anything in protest so you continue. You’re already annoyed with him for not sleeping so you don’t say a word as you place the food down on the emptiest part of the desk. You leave as quietly as you came in.

You don’t have to be at work today so you contemplate what your supposed to do all day. Being home doesn’t feel inviting, even if Cat’s there. He probably doesn’t need something from you for a while anyways since he already ate. You’ve come to the decision to get yourself coffee first, not Five’s coffee, so you quickly change and say goodbye to Cat before heading out.

There’s a quaint café a couple blocks from your apartment and it happens to be the only place that you can get a decent drink without regretting it after a few sips. You hear the bell above you and the friendly getting from the young barista behind the counter. You and a few other people, studious college students, contain the café. Which you appreciate because a rowdy coffee shop doesn’t sound pleasing right now. You greet back, order your usual, and take a seat at an empty table for two. Observing the table next to yours you realize it’s the same spot you met up with a college friend at weeks ago. You sigh at the memory.

“So, I’ve been dying to hear all about this boyfriend of three years.” She exclaimed full of excitement at the thought of your love life. The pastry she ordered left to cool in front of her.

“You wasted no time, Caroline.”

“Of course not! All I’ve gotten is a couple posts on Instagram about you two. And those don’t provide the details I’m looking for!”

You grin, “And what details are you looking for exactly?”

“Your sex life. Obviously.”

You snap your head around the café and feel a tad bit relieved nobody cared enough to eavesdrop. “Jesus, Caroline, my sex life?” You whisper the last part, embarrassed.

“Yes, I’ll tell you all about mine but you need to go first.”

“Why must I go first?” You mutter, but ultimately give up. It’s not something you want to share but maybe you’ll feel lighter. “Actually, it hasn’t been as good as it used to be.”

She reached a hand across the table, not grabbing yours, but it’s a sign she’s there and listening.

You noticed this and prepared yourself. “It’s been a little over two months since the last time.”

“Seriously? Is it you, or…”

“It’s him. I mean I’m not a prude and I’m up for it, but he’s been especially busy with his job recently, taking business trips, and whenever we’re at home it’s not like he’s shown any sign of wanting to.” You find your empty cup the thing you decided to stare at, not wanting to see the look on Caroline’s face.

She called you by your nickname, voice with concern. “So, you’ve been just left to your own devices?”

“God! I am not going to talk about that, Caroline.” You shift in your seat uncomfortably.

“Okay, okay. But I can’t help but think…” She glances down at her uneaten pastry before meeting your eyes again. So she’s thinking the same thing that’s been clouding your brain.

“I don’t know, but everything was fine a couple months ago and suddenly he’s different. Not as affectionate, even though he barely was in the beginning anyways, and I just feel like an afterthought to him lately.” You take a deep breath. “I don’t want to even fathom the idea that he’s cheating on me, but those business trips? He’s particularly distant and snappy when he’s back. I mean he’s always had a temper but he would apologize to me after. Now when he lashes out on me, for stupid things by the way, he just locks himself in his study. We barely talk.” You felt on the verge of tearing up, but you just breathed out shakily.

Caroline went to hold your hand this time. “Anything else you noticed?”

You nodded. “One time when I did the laundry, his suit jacket smelled like perfume. It was faint and I caught a whiff when I went to put it in, but I smelled it again and it wasn’t mine. I swear to God, I know every perfume I have and nothing comes close.” You felt this striking warmth in the middle of your chest. You just kept breathing in hope it went away.

“You have to ask him. I’ve dealt with cheaters before and you have to get his ass for it. Now.”

You cry, “Caroline, it’s not easy for me! I want to, I really do, but I’m so scared. If it’s true I don’t know what I’ll do. I love him. He’s…he’s the only one I’ve ever given all my love to.”

She gives your hand a quick squeeze.

“But if he’s cheating, you’ll leave him right?”

You’re back at the almost empty café. You get up, deciding that drinking your coffee is better off anywhere but here.

***

Afternoon is when you get back to the apartment. Your legs tired of aimlessly walking for hours. Stopping here and there at stores and the park, but nevertheless tired. Putting your jacket on the hook and not forgetting to give some attention to Cat, you hesitantly walk down the hall. Peaking into his study you find it empty. Confused, you ears pick up the noise coming from the bedroom. You enter and see Five packing a small suitcase.

“Where are you going?” You lean on one side of your body, anxious.

He looks briefly at you before putting more of his things together. “Business trip.”

That warmth from weeks ago creeps back in your chest.

“Again? But you had one last week.” You can’t help the small amount of bite that goes with what you said. Five stops and turns to face you. “It’s work. I have to go.”

“It’s just that they’ve never been this close to each other.”

He scoffs, “Well if you have so much of a problem with it then call and complain to them. Not me.” He zips the suitcase and walks past you. He’s wearing the same suit you smelled perfume on. You stand there, taking your deep breaths, before following after him. “Five.”

He’s in the study, putting paperwork together in a briefcase. You’re going to pretend that he didn’t hear you, so you call again. “Five.”

“What.” He sounds uninterested and that damn striking warmth won’t leave you. You want to ask. You want to blurt it out and demand an answer. He’s still moving about with determination and the question almost, almost, goes back inside of you. But you don’t want to be the girl that doesn’t even bother. The girl that ignores it.

“Are you cheating on me, Five?” You don’t say it with much confidence, but you still say it. He pauses for a moment, jaw tight, before zipping the briefcase and standing before you.

“What makes you come to that conclusion?” He’s looking down on you, and god, it makes you angry.

“That’s not a denial, Five.”

“Christ. I’m not having this conversation because I’m not cheating on you.” He looks antsy, like he wants to leave this apartment this second, but he makes no moves. He’s not looking at you anymore and you stay silent. What can you say? All you think about is why didn’t he say that in the first place? Why not deny it the second after you said it?

Why isn’t he angry you even accused him?

“I’m running late. We’ll talk when I get back.” With that, he goes past you yet again and you stand in the study even after you hear the door close. You think that it’s all the pent up frustration from all this that you release your tears. You don’t make a big fuss, not a sound, just noiseless crying. You hug yourself while you return to the bedroom. You curl up in bed facing away from everything that reminds you of Five. You stare at the wall ahead and it’s when you hear Cat coming and jumps up to lay by you that your crying becomes less noiseless.

***

His business trips typically last three to four days, but what makes you flinch is when you hear the apartment door open. It’s only been one day since he left. You’ve stayed in bed, on your side, the whole time. Only getting up to feed Cat and take a long shower. You don’t bother moving. Only listening to the footsteps and the creaking of the bedroom door being pushed open. He wordlessly sits by your feet near the edge of the bed. It’s all so familiar and it makes you feel sick. He doesn’t say anything.

“Why are you here?” You break the silence first.

“I’ve done some thinking. I thought it would be best to come back.” He sits not facing you, elbows on his knees. You really can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“What have you been thinking?”

“Her name is Nora. She works in another department.” You find his words have guilt clinging onto them.

“Did you meet her while you were away?” You’re still staring at the wall. Too calm for his liking.

“Yes. A long time ago, but things…escalated a few months ago.”

You shut your dried out eyes and sniffle. That anger came back within you instantly. “Months? Did you ever think to stop? That you have a girlfriend at home?”

“Of course, I never wanted it to happen for this long. Or at all, but work has been insanely stressful-”

You sit up, in complete disbelief, and you ignore the way your body hurts from being in the same position for hours. “For fucks sake, Five! You think that’s an excuse? I’m right here, always have been for you!”

He snaps his head towards you. “No, I know it’s not an excuse! And I’ve always thought about you and guilt has been eating away at me. I just…I can’t justify what I did, but I have no plans on seeing her ever again. I love you, I always will. I’m just always jumping way too far into things and I lost my way.” He inches closer not sure how you’d feel, so he still gives space. “All I can hope is that you forgive me. It’s the worst thing I could’ve done and I did it. I’m sorry.”

You hear his apology, but it remains unimportant right now. “Am I not enough? You say you love me and that you wanted to stop but when you’re here I don’t feel loved, Five. We don’t even act like a couple anymore. I’m a roommate basically. I do things for you and get shit in return.”

He shut his eyes in shame before focusing back on you and running a hand through his hair. God, you hate him. “I know. I know I’ve been terrible but it’s because I’m so mad with myself. I’m mad I didn’t ignore her like how I do to everyone else. I’m angry I didn’t come to you. I hate that I made you feel unloved, but you’re the first relationship I’ve had that I wanted to hold onto forever. I’m so sorry.” It’s then that he takes attention to the fact that your ring is no longer on your finger, but on the bedside table instead.

His eyes widen slightly before his entire being just goes slack. “Are you going to leave me?”

You don’t answer and lie back down. He doesn’t urge a response from you, assuming you’ve heard enough and need space. Five watches you reach for Cat before making his way to his study, closing the door behind him.

You just need to think.

***

It take you approximately two hours to come to a decision. No matter how much love you’ve given him and how much he’s given you, there’s this reasoning of a cheater never changes. You thought to yourself that if you stay he will change and become just as loyal as you, but you don’t think your willing to take that chance.

You didn’t talk to him the rest of the night and fell asleep alone, but when you wake up the next morning he’s there sleeping on his side. That warmth strikes your chest. The way the morning sun peaks through the curtains, leaving a glow around him. To his long eyelashes, his messy bed head, the way he grumbles in his sleep…you’re suddenly reminded of all the good in your relationship. The time spent before this obstacle.

And it makes your whole body burn because you know this will be the last morning you wake up to him.

Quietly, you get out of bed. There’s still some coffee in the pot when you arrive in the kitchen. You’re not sure how old it is so you pour it down the sink and make a new one. After you pour yourself a mug you’re sitting at the dining table hoping the smell of coffee will wake him up. It does. A couple minutes pass and he’s sauntering down the hall. He catches you sitting and forgoes the coffee and rests across from you.

You can’t look at him. At his face. So, you stare down at the liquid in your mug.

“I never loved someone like you. All your past and all your faults, I understood and continued to focus on the you now.”

He leans forward on the chair, trying to calm his increasingly beating heart.

You continue, “But it seems you couldn’t do the same for me.”

His eyes are glossy and he tilts his head, looking at you intently trying to convey that he knows this is bad. This sounds like it’ll be bad.

“No, I love you, it was a mistake that I will never make again.”

“But it happened, Five. I don’t understand why but it did, and I won’t stay to see it happen again.” This time you meet his gaze and hold it. His eyebrows are furrowed.

“You don’t believe me when I say I’ll never do it again?”

You hate the way he looks so dejected. But you have to stand your ground, you have to pick yourself up after he knocked you down.

“I can’t bring myself to fully believe you won’t and that is enough of a reason for me, Five. I don’t want to stick around and continue to feel like this and maybe me leaving will help you realize what you really want, Five.”

He shakes his head, “I always want you.”

“If that was true then you wouldn’t have wanted to have sex with someone other than me.” You stand up, no longer feeling comfortable so close to him. As you walk to put your mug in the sink you turn around, “Maybe in another lifetime you never cheated and I never left, but here, now, things are different. I hope you find what you truly want.”

You enter the kitchen and have to stand against the counter, head towards the ceiling to fight back your tears. It takes you three minutes to calm down. When you head back to the bedroom Five is still sitting, staring emptily out the window, but as you briskly pass him he watches you until your further down the hall.

Another hour passes until your back in the living room with all your belongings packed, waiting by the door. Five gets up with the realization that this is happening. This is goodbye. You adjust the purse strap on your shoulder, suddenly awkward.

He stays where he is, but asks, “Is there really nothing that’ll make you stay?”

You shake your head, “I’m staying at a friends while I look for an apartment… I really think this is what needs to be done, Five. I don’t regret loving you, but I know I’ll regret it if I don’t leave.”

He stares at you, not hiding the fact he’s crying, and says, “Can I at least hug you?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t wait so he’s already around you by the time you finish. It’s tight and his hand is on the back of your head. You tentatively place your hands on his back. You need this too. When he lets you go you move to pick up your bags, wiping a stray tear.

“I’ll be come back tomorrow for Cat,” you both glance at Cat sitting on the windowsill. You suddenly realize how lonely Five will be, “Unless you want to…I don’t know-”

“I’ll take care of him.”

“Five, I-”

“Please? He’ll be good company.”

And he’s the last thing I have of you.

“Sure, why not. I’ll miss him like crazy, though.”

“You can always come and visit.”

You give him a look, knowing what he really means, and he comes up behind you to open the door seeing as your hands are full.

There are no more words shared between you two as you leave. The silence engulfs Five after he closes the door.

***

Later that night as you put clothes away in the dresser of the guest room at Caroline’s place, Five gets in bed and observes the ring on your bedside table.

It’s the last thing he sees before he closes his eyes and thinks of what was and what should’ve been.

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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hello everyone !! i have decided to close my taglist seeing as there are over a hundred people who have filled up the form. i cannot keep track of all of them, and sometimes i need to spend almost 20-30 minutes alone just to do my taglist. i'm very much sorry for this :((

if you want to be removed from my taglist, kindly send me a private message.

again, thank you so much for understanding.

lots of love,

eloise xx

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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Could you do a Steve x reader where she has anxiety and it’s really bad for the day and so she kinda just clings to Steve the whole day?? Like she constantly hugging him/cuddling into him while he works and runs errands (maybe picks up Dustin)?

notes: aaand i'm back! so sorry for the long wait, but i had to take some time for myself <3. i won't promise any weekly updates or anything, because i'm really busy with uni, lately. but, i'll try to post every time i can! hope you enjoy!

warnings: mentions of anxiety, mentions of not eating (very brief) a lot of fluff and some teeny tiny angst at the end (happy ending!!). a litte bit suggestive, also? i changed the request a little bit... hope it still works!

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

w/c: 2.9k (uh-oh)

four times you needed to be close to steve and one time the tables turned.

-one-

steve really didn't know what was going on with you.

he was starting to get concerned. it wasn't like you weren't an affectionate person. you always were— always cuddling him at night or while watching a movie, or always kissing his cheek when you were out or holding onto his hand at all times.

but, although you weren't all that shy about pda, you also knew your limits. after all, not everyone needed to see how needy you were with your boyfriend.

but this... this was on another level.

it all started the night before. steve had come home late from work after robin had literally abandoned him after telling him that same afternoon she'd help him restock the videos — she didn't by the way. she had a date, or something — and steve was left to rearrange the very, very large pile of films on his own.

he did make it up to you, though. steve made sure to make a quick stop on the service station near home to get some goodies for you: your favourite gummie bears and some sour cream and vinegar chips for you, and some tampons just cause he knew you were about to start your period.

when he safely made it home, he found you all scooped up in the living room couch, wrapped up in a blanket and what he could only assume was his yellow sweater, a sliver of fabric peeking out from under the blankets.

you were asleep, the room dark and the only light coming from the tv, still running some crappy sci-fi movie you had probably settled with after not finding anything good to watch. steve smiled tiredly, placing the plastic bag on one of the sofas and crouching in front of you so he'd be on eye level with your pair, and gently removed some strands of hair from your face, tucking them away and petting your head with gentle touches.

you hummed tiredly, eyes fluttering and a yawn way too cute for steve to handle, and he'd felt his heart clench behind his ribs because fuck, you just looked so cozy and comfortable.

he pouted when you humphed in annoyance at being woken up and leaned down to kiss your forehead, then both of your cheeks, then the tip of your nose and, finally, your lips, still plump with sleep.

"c'mon, sweet face. let's go to bed," he whispered, as not to disturb you further. you hadn't fully opened your eyes yet, and he could only imagine how exhausted you were.

it was finals' week and you had been studying your ass off since last month, simultaneously going to work every day for eight full hours and as if it weren't enough, you had to bare with the asshole of your boss, who just couldn't shut his damn mouth.

with his words, you finally opened your eyes, stretching your legs under the blanket and shaking your head no, then wrapping both of your arms around steve's shoulders and burying your face into the juncture of his neck. he chuckled lowly, breathlessly, because he felt you press a few wet kisses to his skin and then nuzzle further into his warmth, and he couldn't help his pulse from picking up its pace.

tha blanket had fallen from your back, and steve placed one of his hands there and caressed up and down so you wouldn't lose any warmth. he kissed your temple and put his lips just above your ear. "could you get any sleep at all? hm?" and then a few more kisses.

you only hummed, the answer unclear to your boyfriend. but, when he made a quick move to get out of your embrace and stand up, you whined and sat up straighter, not letting your arms fall from around his shoulders and you wrapped both of your thighs around his waist, hoisting yourself up along with him. steve made a little 'umph' sound in surprise, laughing and placing both of his hands under your thighs to keep you safely close to him.

he didn't complain. how could he? when all he had wanted all day long was to have you just like that — in his embrace, all sleepy and yearning for his warmth, ready to fall asleep in each other's arms.

so, he carefully walked up the stairs, chuckling softly every now and then after hearing your sleepy mumbles you let out.

-two-

steve didn't hate a lot of people, but if his alarm clock was a fucking person—

it was a thursday, and you had a day off. finals' week was finally over, and steve may or may not have called in sick for you, so you could stay and catch up on some much needed sleep. he, however, couldn't stay with you.

keith had made it very, very clear that steve could forget about coming back to the store if he called in sick again this month— he had done so for at least four times already. it wasn't his fault, really. it wasn't like the supernatural would let him get his sleep after attacking hawkins.

but, what really didn't make it any easier was how, when the absolutely horrible sound of the alarm, he felt you hug him tighter and you cuddled closer to his body, sighing in annoyance at the idea of having your boyfriend leave your embrace.

"mmh, no. you don't get to leave," you mumbled into his chest. steve chuckled, bringing one of his hands up to your hair and scratch your scalp, making you almost pathetically melt into his touch. in return, you gently traced figures with your nails on the skin of his stomach, your hand under his shirt, and you smiled when you felt him shiver beneath your touch.

"gotta go, sweetheart. keith'll fire me if i don't," he insisted, though his smile was almost sad at the idea of leaving you and having to yearn for your snuggles all day long.

"i'll get you a job at the bakery, then," you mumbled, and steve tickled your sides, his smile widening when you squirmed away. "i couldn't possibly rock that cupcake hat like you do, doll."

you didn't answer, only nuzzling your face into the softness of the fabric of his shirt. "don't want you to go yet, though," you sighed. steve frowned, looking behind him to get a glimpse of his alarm clock.

"it's still pretty early. why don't you have breakfast w'me, hm?" he offered, brushing your hair out of your face. you hummed, smiling in approval. "you gonna make scrambled eggs?" you asked sheepishly. he laughed. "with a glass of orange juice and some coffee. what d'ya think?" steve mumbled into your hair, leaving sweet kisses on the crown of your head.

when you nodded with a smile, steve slowly took your arms from around him and stood up from the bed, stretching his arms over his head. "gotta take a quick shower first, 'kay?" he looked at you, and you made a smiled softly, still laying on his sheets, and made a single 'come hither' motion.

he smiled in return, letting himself drop on the bed and putting his hands before him as not to crush you in the process. you giggled, placing one of your hands on the back of his neck and pulling him in, lips on his, and you felt him smile through it all. when you pulled on the hair on his neck, steve let out a low moan, and he pulled away, panting into your lips and dropping his forehead on your collarbone. "i really have to take that shower," he repeated.

you bit your bottom lip, wrapping your legs around his waist in silent question. he groaned needily, supporting your weight with both of his palms under your butt and hoisted you up, pushing his lips back on yours and walked the two of you into the bathroom.

-three-

breakfast with steve was the best thing of the day. and, because it wasn't every day you could enjoy it together, as you weren't living together — not yet, at least —, that just made the two of you yearn for it even more.

you sat on the countertop, legs swinging back and forth while you watched as steve cooked breakfast, a cute apron over his bare chest and his hair still tousled from sleep. he hummed to a song, absentmindedly swinging his hips while he stirred the eggs on the pan.

you laughed to yourself, hopping down the counter and walking to the other side of the kitchen, taking two mugs from the shelf and taking them with you on the way to the coffee machine. you poured some of the beverage in both of the cups and prepared them just how steve liked it, before walking to him with both of the cups.

placing one next to his hand on the countertop, you kissed his bare shoulder, singing the lyrics of the song he was humming seconds before.

"thank you, sweetheart," he smiled warmly, turing his head over his shoulder and puckering his lips, asking for a kiss.

you did as he asked, a quick peck on his pink lips and you took your free hand to his forehead to clean his sight from any fallen strands of hair, then caressing his cheek with your thumb.

after deciding against hugging him from behind while he cooked, because you knew steve gets distracted very easily and it was for the best for him to finish breakfast without any incidents, you waited for him on your seat by the window. he quickly joined you, putting a bowl with the scrambled eggs on the small table next to you and his cup of coffee next to his plate, sitting down on his chair.

quickly, though, you decided that he was sitting way to far from you. so, you took your mug, rounding the table and walking towards him. he frowned, confused, but you placed a hand on his shoulder and just waited for him to get the hint himself. when he leaned back, you climbed on his lap, one hand around his shoulder and the other bringing the coffee to your lips. he just smiled at you, his fingers tracing patterns on your thigh and his other hand gripping his fork.

-four-

steve knew you had a test today. he knew, because you hadn't slept at his in weeks trying to prepare yourself for it. and, yes. it was torture for him, sure, but he was worried for you.

even though you and him weren't meeting after your shifts or after your lessons so you could study, you'd try to make some time to grab lunch with him, or meet on your respective breaks. he'd seen the bags under your eyes, the way your nails looked bitten and the skin around them looked red and angry.

he could feel your anxiety from a mile away.

you had your morning shift today, and then your exam half an hour after your last lesson of the day ended. it was noon now, almost eight, and he had yet to hear from you.

it was funny, really. how, even though he couldn't even imagine himself sitting for an exam as hard as the one you're sitting for right now — something you had told him multiple times before that he's more than capable of doing so —, he felt as nervous as if he was the one in that classroom with the sheet of paper in front of him.

but he had seen you through the process of getting ready for it. he'd seen you with your head in your hands, highlighter in hand while you went over and over the same page, trying to get all the information in it to stay in your head.

he'd seen you skipping meals, only ingesting caffeine as if your life depended on it, and it worried him.

so, he waited, and he waited, and tried to busy his mind by restocking the videos and organizing them by alphabetical order — just like keith had told him and robin they had to actually organize the movies like, but hadn't really done so before — but it wasn't really working. a frown found itself permanent over his pretty brown eyes, and robin watched, amused, with her chin on the palm of her hand on the counter.

"watcha thinkin' about, lover boy?" she smiled, teasingly. steve hadn't had any time to bother himself from reacting to her teasing. "haven't heard from her since this morning, tha's all," he mumbled under his breath, not even looking up nor facing her, as he continued placing the videos on the shelves.

"she'll come soon enough," she assured. "speaking of," robing exclaimed and, as if on cue, the bell above the door ringed. steve looked up, and he barely got to see your figure, head down while you walked with long, hurried steps towards him.

"hey, sweethe—", he interrupted himself with a sound of surprise, your body crushing into his and you buried your face deep into his vest.

he could feel your heart beating hard and quick, but, even though he tried to get a glimpse of your face, the angle wouldn't allow it. steve, looked at robin with a worried face, which she mirrored, and she shrugged, leaving the room and walking into keith's — now empty— office to leave you some space.

your breathing was heavy and your grip was tight, and steve, although it took him some time to understand the situation, didn't hesitate to hug you back just as tight. it wasn't until he felt a wet patch forming on his shirt that he realised you had started crying, and he kissed your forehead and began to sway the both of you side by side. "s'all good, doll. jus' breathe f'me," he mumbled into your hair, his voice hushed and sweet like honey, calming and comforting like a fuzzy blanket in a cold morning.

after a couple of minutes of silence, only the sound of your sniffles in the empty store, steve spoke up, still holding you tightly. "hey, how 'bout a movie night? you've wanted to watch back to the future for a while now, right? we can take it from here. no one'll notice. and, if they do, we'll just blame robin," he shrugged, and felt himself perk up at the sound of your teary laugh. "don't be mean," you accused.

"hey, she's been stealing the pb&j sandwiches you make for me for months now. she'll get over it."

+one

steve was a reserved guy. never been one to talk about his issues with anyone. not when nancy broke up with him, not when he went through all the supernatural. he's never told a soul.

but, when you came into his life, things slowly started to come out of his mouth by themselves. as if they'd just slip from his tongue swiftly and without struggle. as if the words had been begging to come out for months now and needed the relief.

however, steve had never, ever, talked about his family to you. you knew it wasn't easy. knew he didn't have a great family and, being an only child, he was all by himself for most of the time. even more when his parents were away for work trips for the most part of the year.

you didn't know when the breaking point had been. when, all of the sudden, couldn't even talk about his parents. about his dad, specifically. but, a couple of years forward, steve had graduated from community college.

it wasn't a big deal, he had said. although, it really, really was. and you couldn't have been anymore prouder.

the ceremony had been small — just the family of the graduated students and their friends — but they were just a few of them. of course all the kids had been invited and every single one of them had shown up. but, even though you knew steve was glad all of you had made it, he couldn't mask the disappointment on his face when he looked around the room and didn't catch his parents' eyes.

he'd been quiet the rest of the day; at the restaurant you had all gone to to celebrate, at dustin's house, where his mother had so kindly baked him a cake with frosting that read 'con-grad-ulations, steve!'.

steve was more than grateful, of course. he had recieved more love from all of those people than from his own family in his entire life. but, nonetheless, his smile couldn't quite reach his eyes. and you couldn't blame him for it.

when you made it to his house — emtpy, as usual—, steve threw his cap on the couch and walked into the kitchen. you knew he needed his time, so you went upstairs and got ready for bed.

once in bed, you waited for him with a book in hand. a couple of minutes later, he came into view, already in his pajamas and threw himself over you, immediately burying his face in your chest, tangling his legs with yours.

your hands went, as natural, to his head in a second, petting and comping and scratching his scalp to get to relax him. but, when you felt hot tears meet your skin, you held him tighter and let him cry. he cried for minutes, gripping you with such strength, as if he was scared you'd slip away from him. you kissed his forehead, hands and fingers, nose and cheeks, and let him cry.

"shh, breath f'me, mkay? s'all good, honey."

taglist!

@filmsbyemma @m-rae23 @hello1276 @bijleegiregi @tiaamberxx @dirtytissuebox @mads-weasley

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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“i’m in my slut era” i say as i open tumblr to read fanfictions of characters who don’t exist

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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why don’t they make boys like gilbert blythe anymore 😔

#anne with an e #awae #gilbert blythe

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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Wrong side of paradise (Reader x Steve Harrington)

Requested by: @utterly-in-like, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic, @theletterhart, @alex–awesome–22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly, @denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco @idkwhatmyusernam, @subjecta13-thefangirl

Summary: R & Steve have been friends since childhood. R has fallen in love with him but her love is unrequeted since Steve still has a thing for Nancy. When R get’s affected by headaches, she knows what that means but keeps it a secret. Until she is pulled in too deep and need help to come back. (Keeping it a secret, unrequited love) I altered the time-line a bit to my own choice!

“I…I need a moment.” – you said getting up. Nancy quirked her eyebrow up. You moved passed Dustin getting outside of the trailer. – “Just stay close!” – Robin shouted before you slammed the door shut. You hurried outside, creating a large distance between the trailer and you. Swallowing you tried to stop your tears from ever appearing. You walked in a straight line across the trailer park into the woods. Leaves crunched underneath your shoes. You gasped loud, gripping onto a wooden park bench in the woods. These weren’t just headaches. It was Vecna luring you into his death trap.

The dreadful pounding in your head, you had for a week now. You screamed loud knowing what it meant. You were sentenced to die. Fists trembling at the intensity of your voice scraping. You straightened yourself pacing around. The more you thought about it, the more it upset you. You screamed again, grabbing the bin by the picnic bench. Picking it up, you threw it away. Litter scattering the ground. You lost control. Stomping wildly on the ground, jumping hysterical at your emotions that needed to be outed. Running your hands rough through your hair. Screaming, crying, cursing in all ways. Punching your fists in the air at the breakdown you were having.

Keep reading

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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Hi :) May I request a stranger things ship? She/her, bisexual. Fluffy caramel hair, blushed cheeks; wide-fit, velvety, 1920s style clothing. Low voice, easy going, open minded. Interested in psychology, neuroscience and reactions. Adore music, art therapy. I have a real good tolerance for pain and a real internal strength and drive. Thank you - your writing is so good x

Hii !! I would love to do what you have in mind, but i’m not so sure what you mean. Can you please clarify ? Thank you so much !!

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thxliaaa · 2 years

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taglist:

if your name is crossed out, it means tumblr won't let me tag you. sorry :(

@zvummyummy @ariiiloves @arminsgfloll @viridwityy @mess-is-my-aesthetic @cevansgal @geekyfifi @champomiel @taramaria @asianhawkeye @straykeeks @a3trogirl @exiledangel @billyhargrovesprincess @sexicherri3 @Tapedeck_heart @stephylovesmayahawke @letmebeyoureuphoria @Giovax @frackboii @l00nlygirl @drownedskelly @posion3trab3rrykit @emopanda2410 @magnificent-marie @loverofthings2425 @starzsea @hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere @sky-nnyyy @Andreeaaaa22 @cityofidek @sleepyspnap @you-ok-bro @rainazinha @thecattyinthedark-blog @itsmemc8203 @butdaddyiluvvhim @joynathalya @liltimmyst @nerdypinupcrystal @nighttwingg @katsukis1wife @whoreforpsychopaths @drunkangels @mwgs2world @thepineapplesimp @astridbaby

don't make me choose | steve harrington

a short story

synopsis - you decided to let steve choose between you and her.

pairing/s - steve harrington x reader, mentions of steve harrington x nancy wheeler

warning/s - fighting, cursing, reader not being the first choice, angst

author's note - finally back with an angst ;) i thought of this short story while i was in class. don't ask me how and don't ask me why. anyways enjoy my lovelies <3

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“What is up with you tonight?”

Steve scoffed at your sudden outburst towards him as soon as you entered your apartment. “Me? That’s rich coming from you” He retorted back as you looked up to him from your eyelashes.

You had gotten into a little altercation with Nancy at the Byers’ house tonight. It was nothing physical, although a few unkind words were exchanged in the process. On the way home, Steve had ignored you, and whenever you would try to start a conversation with him, he would just roll his eyes and scoff at you.

“I haven’t done anything to you! You’re the one who’s acting like bullshit!” You shouted at him as he turned to look at you with a sour look on his face. “Really? You’re really gonna act like nothing happened with you and Nancy tonight? Great.” He scoffed once more.

You looked at him in disbelief, so that’s why he’s been acting like that all night? Because of Nancy?

He tossed the keychain on the kitchen counter as he stomped up the stairs and went to the bedroom, you quickly followed him, opening the door then slamming it to make your presence known.

“What the fuck, Steve? Are you seriously taking her side? I’m your girlfriend for fuck’s sake!” You pointed out as he snickered at you. “I’m taking her side because you’re being immature right now!” He stated as he stood up from the bed and went back down to the kitchen.

Again, rushing downstairs, you see him take a glass from the cabinet and fill it up with alcohol. “Steve Harrington, I am talking to you right now! Do not run away from me!” You exclaimed as you took the glass away from him.

He let out an annoyed sigh as he turned to look at you. “It was a little thing, (Y/N)! You could’ve let it go but you didn’t! Instead, you made a big deal out of it and decided to humiliate Nancy!”

“Humiliate Nancy? She started it! Why are you even siding with her when you know she’s in the wrong!” You cried out as he put his hands on his waist, “I’m taking her side because clearly you’re acting very immature right now. And she’s our friend, (Y/N)! For God’s sake, you’re an adult! Act like one!” He stated, the words that came out from his mouth shattered you, on the inside and on the outside.

You looked at him with hurt in your eyes as he rolled his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that, that is so fucked up”

In this moment, he showed his true colors. He never really moved on. In those nine months that you two were dating, you would expect him to side with you all the time just like he always did. But turns out, you could never compete with Nancy, not even close. So, you decided to give him a choice.

“Me or Nancy?”

Steve was suddenly taken aback by what you said. “What?” he said in a soft whisper. “I said Me or Nancy?”

“No, no, don’t do that” He said, shaking his head, clearly unable to make a choice. “Why not, Steve?” You asked as he kept on shaking his head.

“Don’t make me choose between you and her” He said looking you directly in your eyes. You tilted your head, tears threatening to fall. “Why? Cause you’ll choose her?”

“Yeah, I choose her” Steve said as you let out a sigh. The two of you stood there for a good minute, not moving until you finally decided to grab your car keys wanting to get away from that place as soon as you could.

As you got into the car, the tears that you were holding back finally started rolling down your cheeks. Deep down, you were expecting Steve to come out chasing after you. You wanted him to come out to apologize to you. Yet he never did.

In the end, you were only the second choice. If he really did love you, there wouldn't be a choice at all. But turns out, there was. And he will always choose Nancy.

taglist: if your name is crossed out, it means tumbr won't let me tag you, sorry :(

@t0ky0cl0v3r @joekeeryswife @555stargirl555 @idli-dosa @simpfoegeorge @evansflowers @simonsbluee @molllybc @seaveysinn @louweasleymalfoy @screambih @ifmybossfindsthisimfired @phantomxoxo @maxinedelore @111angelnumbers111 @shadyshadyy @cal-is-not-on-branding @ilovereadingfanfics @drxwstxrkxy @buckleyverse @vortxxx @ducky-is-dead-inside @bxtchboy69 @r00chal @danelhi @idkihavenofantasy @bula-zara @untitledarea @minaxcarter @thefandomplace @brxtnxy @heyyimmisunderstood @youare-hackskellington @thaliasworld96 @cherrybb-101 @quartzneyy @olivialou13 @nothing2113 @hehehehannahthings @livsh20 @crying-caro @angstasf @laurynstonephotography @munson-master @i-always-come-back-xoxo @Lovel-blog @Histvgirl @cherriebat @loverofjoes @cebragirl @alexxavicry @mushy-mushroom04 @analyticalfrog3 @kaitieskidmore1 @differentdeputyfishpaper @theamericanjewitch @lilostif16 @poppetbaby02 @auggie2000 @Slutt4eds

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