tiny-bubbles

[tiny-bubbles]

Now that I have got my mental health under control, I want to start focusing on my physical health. I have been overweight for most of my life and now, I am going to change that. My current weight (last weigh in was around 2 months ago) is 262 lbs. This is not the heaviest I have ever been but it is close. My goal weight ultimately is 150 pounds but I want to make smaller goals so that it doesn't get too overwhelming. My first goal weight is 250. I will update here on how it is going a little later but for now, I just want everyone who reads this to know that no matter what weight you are, what your mental state is or what you are going through, you loved, you are worthy of kindness and you are enough. ❤️

[tiny-bubbles]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CBPw7ALJdDJ/

[tiny-bubbles]

It's been years since I logged into this account. I think the last post I wrote was about my mental health journey and sorting through my trauma, so here is an update!

I got myself a therapist and dealt with most of the things that have been haunting me for years. There had been so many things that I had shoved aside and put into boxes in the back of my mind that I just didn't want to deal with. Therapy helped me to take those things and make them as nonthreatening as possible so I could acknowledge them without dwelling on them. After a year of therapy, I have been "graduated" and am much better off than I was. While I know that I still have work to do, I am optimistic that I am on the path to being healed.

Another thing that happened in the years since I have used this account is both my brother and I were diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. While I was not surprised by my diagnosis, it was a little hard for me to reconcile. It took a very long time to realize that I am still me, even with the diagnosis. It also explained quite a lot about my reactions to things and also why I do the things I do. All my life, I had been told that my inability to keep up with my house work and putting thing off until the last minute was just laziness when really, I had been constantly burnt out. Now that I have a diagnosis, I can find ways to do the things I need to do in ways that work for me.

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Autumn 🍂 is here !!

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(source)

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Just in time for the 4th anniversary

I think overall everyone has become more natural and comfortable with themselves over the years :)

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The power is out where I live and branches have been falling from trees since about this time yesterday. I didn’t have service until maybe an hour ago. I am taking this as a sign that I should take a break from staring at my phone and do something that doesn’t have anything to do with electronics. As a start, I have lit enough candles to keep Hades warm and I am reading my book that I have been trying to finish for 2 weeks.

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The first part of my plan is to recover from my previous trauma. I need to pinpoint the parts of myself that are a result of that trauma and either learn how to cope with the negative effects of that trauma, I feel like I have improved a lot in the last 5 months but I know I have a long way to go. As of right now, I am working through the attachment theory workbook and so far I have learned quite a lot about my particular attachment style. 

[tiny-bubbles]

This year, I really want to try and become a better version of myself. I wanted to last year too but with everything that went on, I kind of let my depression take over and stopped taking care of myself. This year though, everything is going to be different. I will go more in depth with my plan in a later post.

[tiny-bubbles]

あまおうタルト🍓