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Different roles make us stronger

Many people ask whether my husband and I are equals.

I usually return the question: "What do you mean by equal?"

Before Allah both men and women are equal and worth the same - Allah only cares about how virtuous we live our lives.

But in our family we have different roles: Hasan leads, I follow his lead. He is the head of our family, I am the heart.

Like in a human body, you need both a head and a heart for the body to function - you cannot replace the heart by adding another head. Not only would the body die, because the flow of blood would simply stop, a body with 2 heads is also the body of a monster - and it's no coincidence that fairy tales featuring 2-headed monsters often have them destroyed through disagreement between the two heads.

A body with 2 hearts could probably work, but without a head it would lack any sense of direction, purpose or consciousness, it would be a heap of organic matter somewhere between life and death. (I just noticed that my little metaphor also explains, why Muslim men can take up to 4 wives, while Muslim wives can only have one husband - a body with multiple hearts and one head probably really could work, while a body with multiple heads and just one heart won't. Nice.)

"So you don't get equal rights with your man?" No. Rights within a family always need a purpose. If we have different roles, we need different rights to fulfill them. The husband doesn't get the right to make certain decisions because he is better or worth more than the wife, but because his role is that of a leader, and as a leader, he has to be able to make decisions for the other family members. The wife doesn't get the right to be fully supported by her husbands money and work because she is better or worth more than him, but because of her role as her husbands follower. To fully follow him, she must be sure that her material and emotional needs will always be met by him.

"So he has more rights than you?" More? As in a bigger number? Well, if you count every situation where he can make a decision "over my head", his rights are probably quite numerous. On the other hand, if you count every situation, where I have the right to consume a thing he had been working for without feeling guilty or in debt for it, or every time where I can chose to not bother about a thing because it's his job to take care of it, my rights are also plenty.

We have different rights, because we have different roles in our family. Our children already recognize this instinctively, by the way: They come to me for "heart" things like when they're hurt or feel sad, and they go to Hasan for "head" things like getting permission for something or when they want certain goods like books or video games. Because we are both sure and secure in our roles, our family is stronger.

I can trust Hasan, that her will always take care of me and that he will always to decide in the best interest of our family. Does he make mistakes? Sure, he's human. Hasan can trust me, that I will always follow his lead and not put up a fight about petty grievances. Do I make mistakes? Sure, I'm human.

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Could someone please explain to me why people feel the need to scream at trad women about how we can "be more" ? More than what? Why don't you just let us live our lives? Why do you feel the need to control womens choices?

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It’s literally all we want

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Oh, sweetie, we all know the only reason you went to college is to get your MRS degree. You picked some major that would make you appealing to men, like education, nursing, or dance. You put more effort into your appearance than your actual studies. Making sure you vibe screamed wifey. When your future husband insisted on you dropping out, how long did you masterbate for?

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Fasting for the whole day!! >.< and just on the day i fast there’s cake at work!!! 😭😭

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It’s only natural

I love that more and more Men are becoming violently misogynistic 🥰🥰🥰

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my body, his choice! he knows what's best for me 🩷

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EVERY female I've met has been outsmarted by a Man, or has needed a Man to teach her something very simple, no matter how smart she claims to be! Biologically, women are just dumber than Men, and that's okay 🥰 We stupid females need to embrace it and accept that ALL Men are inherently more intelligent than we are.

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So True. Think about that, when you make a decision, Men.

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Imagine resting your head in your man's lap. Closing your eyes and just letting him fill your world. The spicy scent of his cologne. The musky scent of his skin. The clean scent of the soap he uses. The only noise is the sound of him breathing and turning a page. His free hand brushes softly against your skin.

There's nothing else in your head. No racing thoughts of anexity. No worries. Your world just your husband in that moment. Don't you long for that feeling? Crave it with every fiber of your being? All you have to do is submit to your husband

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Why do men value female sweetness?

He already deals with testosterone all the time, with stress and tension... they are biologically prepared for conflict... The masculine man is dominant, strong and a provider...

He takes the lead because that's how he feels useful. He likes to provide and protect because it makes him feel needed. But no man feels like doing that for someone equal or stronger... Therefore, men look for something in women that they lack.

He is looking for a woman capable of bringing order, beauty and peace to his life. And when a man finds a woman like that... he goes to great lengths to win her over. And to live this there is no other way than to become more feminine...

The woman's sweetness nourishes the man. It is cultivated on a daily basis, it is not a technique that you use for convenience. People can tell when you're pretending, especially because it becomes that thing that's forced and not at all natural... no one can keep that mask on for long.

A sweet way only enchants when accompanied by loving gestures, a warm look and kind attitudes, what you do for others... That's why sweetness must come from within... it's the outside that reflects the inside - never the other way around.

If a woman only feeds on negative thoughts, it becomes much more difficult to be sweet, because that's not what she has within herself... there's no way to give someone else something that she doesn't even have within herself... you know? It's a natural process...

A woman can only be feminine and sweet when she dedicates herself to seeking the truth in her life, when she makes an effort to cultivate the virtues she needs and is able to authentically express all the beauty she has cultivated within herself.

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