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transwegath · 11 days
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You don't understand how happy it makes me when I get to draw other people's OCs 🥺🥺🥺
Meet Font and Ash ✨
I've had them for two minutes and if anything were to happen to them, I'll k**l everyone in this room and then myself. 😌
@transwegath and Jay gave birth to some cute ass babies. 💚
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transwegath · 1 month
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Phee: torn between the past and the future
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Phee is a deeply interesting, complex character. We know a lot about him, despite not seeing him on screen for a few episodes and not knowing about his background for a while.
This post got long so I'm putting in a break!
We know that Phee is a boy who falls in love fast and hard.
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He's empathetic, and wears his emotions on his sleeves.
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He's a caretaker.
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We know that despite wanting to know what happened to Non, Phee also can't help trying to think the best of the group he's joined. Even trying to see another point of view when Tan calls Por a liar.
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His position as of episode 9 in the story is really interesting... and also heartbreaking, in it's own way.
Phee has one foot in the past, unable to move forward, but his eyes toward the future.
In the past, he'd been in love with Non. Deeply in love. First love, arguably puppy love, but love nevertheless. That relationship ended in heartbreak for them both - Phee feeling as though Non had betrayed him by lying to him and sleeping with someone else (obligatory note that Non was groomed so we shouldn't label it as cheating, I'm just saying from Phee's POV). He was angry and hurt, and he said something awful in that moment that he didn't mean.
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Afterwards, Phee is angry. He's hurt. He doesn't know what to do, so he goes to his dad for advice, and his dad tells him that he needs to talk to Non to understand why he'd done it, and move forward. In that moment, Phee doesn't know if he wants to make up with Non or not.
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But eventually he takes his dad's advice to at least talk to him, and figure out why he acted the way he did. But by the time Phee is ready to hear from Non, Non is already gone.
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Phee is now facing a slew of questions, and a lot of emotions. Where is Non? What happened to him? Did he really run off? Was it the friend group that did something to him? Could I have helped him if I hadn't been so angry? Did my last words make everything worse? Is he still alive? If he's dead, what will I do?
Phee is caught in a situation that many people find themselves in, at some point or another in life. Where a relationship (friendship or more) ends, but you get no closure. He's caught between wishing he knew what happened, feeling guilty, wanting to get Non back so he can talk to him and get answers... while also being basically out of the relationship entirely because he and Non broke up, and never got back together.
Then, Phee meets New, and it's easy to agree to his scheme. For the two of them to switch schools, infiltrate the friend group that was around Non, and see if they can figure out what happened to him. It's easy to say yes to New, because that's what Phee wants more than anything. Answers. He wants to know what happened to Non, but he also wants to know more than that. Why Non did what he did. If they can work it out and get together again. There's so many questions plaguing Phee's mind, and the lack of answers makes it impossible for him to move forward.
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But then, at the same time, life moves on. It's been months since Non vanished already (the start of a new school year and it seemed like the old school year was still in session when they finished the movie, so at least a few months). Phee finds himself with a new group of friends. And while he's suspicious of them, he also has fun with them.
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Phee isn't the type of person who can wholeheartedly condemn others. He doesn't have Tan's ability to write them all off as assholes.
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Time passes, and Phee moves on. He removes the bracelet he once wore, even before he started classes at the new school. Perhaps he did it because he didn't want to give away his connection to Non - but he didn't have to. It was a simple red bracelet. No one in the group would've seen that and connected him to Non. I don't even think Jin would've, though Jin would've noticed it and wondered about it I'm sure. But Phee took it off anyway.
And, later, Phee takes Jin to the spot he once took Non. He takes him to Phee's special place.
While he's there, he's reminded of Non. He talks about Non. But the way he talks about Non is fond and distant. More of a nice memory, than something that's actively haunting him.
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And you can tell by the look on Jin's face that Jin can tell. He knows what what Phee is talking about was in the past. Otherwise he wouldn't look so happy (considering we know he has a jealous streak). And Jin definitely wouldn't have seduced Phee if he got the vibe that Phee still liked someone else.
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And then, that night, Phee sleeps with Jin. And perhaps Phee was thinking of Non in those moments, but I highly doubt it. Because I don't think the boy who told Non to "get lost and die" over perceived cheating would sleep with someone else while he's still in love with Non. That, and there's the soft look on his face the next morning...
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Phee has moved on. His feelings have changed. He wants to find out what happened to Non, but honestly if it wasn't for his connection to New, I'm not sure how much longer Phee would've kept looking. He's young. He's found a new love. That doesn't mean his love for Non never mattered, or doesn't still impact him in different ways. It just means he's healed, and is looking to the future. That's normal for grief and loss. It becomes part of us, but eventually we learn to live with it and continue our lives.
But the past keeps pulling him back, in the form of New, and news about Non. First when New calls him out for sleeping with Jin and asking if he's cheating. Phee's response might be partially a lie and partially the truth. But he's at least lying to himself about why he did it.
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I think Phee saying he loves Non is true - he probably does. In a distant way, of someone he lost. He has fond memories of him. He misses Non, too. But I think what he's telling New - and telling himself - about it being "just the same" is the lie. Phee is in denial that he's catching feelings for Jin. He's in denial about the reasons he did it, and he knows that. Because despite sleeping with Jin and flirting with him, he never asks Jin about Non.
Then he gets another reminder in the form of a news article about Non.
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Google translate on the right.
That article brings it back - the anger, the grief, the rage. At himself, for what he said to Non. At Non for the lies he told - the reminder of Non sleeping with Keng. At the situation that he found himself in. He's yanked back to the past again, and all the guilt that comes with it.
And in that moment, he shoves Jin away. He lets the guilt and anger win as he draws a firm line. He denies his feelings, denies that he feels anything at all for Jin, and returns to his mission: to find out what happened to Non.
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But in that moment, he doesn't realize that he's lost his future. Because he loses Jin. Jin won't speak to him, won't return his calls, gives him the cold shoulder. Won't even smile at him for the next two years.
Phee tries to talk to Jin, two years later. He hasn't moved on from Jin. Because he's trapped in the same friend group as Jin by his goal: learn more about Non. He can't leave the group to get away from Jin. No space. Which means neither he, nor Jin, are able to heal from what happened. Jin is now trapped in the past, just as much as Phee is.
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Phee can't abandon New, can't abandon the mission they set out for, because it means abandoning every question that he still wants answers to. It means abandoning Non, once and for all. But in clinging to the past, he can't move to the future either. He can't choose Jin, but he doesn't want to lose him entirely.
In the present, Phee is still caught between the past and the future. The past being what happened to Non and New's scheme to learn information. And the future, his feelings for Jin that he can't deny anymore, that he can't run from. But that he also can't give in to, because of everything with New.
Phee's character is in stasis. He wants to grow. He wants to move on. If he didn't, he never would've caught feelings for Jin, much less slept with him. But he can't. Because of a sense of duty - to Non, who he failed to help, failed to protect. And now to Non's brother, who can't give up looking for him. And as long as New is looking for Non, Phee has to as well, or it means abandoning the very last piece of Non he has left.
But he's also torn, because while he's working with New on his scheme, he wants to protect Jin, the person he loves now. Perhaps even because he couldn't save Non, so now his redemption will be saving Jin?
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This scene could be a plot by Phee to get Jin to open up, using his own tears and guilt in that way, but I do think his concern for Jin is real regardless.
I think Phee's final arc in the show will be having to choose, once and for all, between the past (Non and by extension New) and the future (Jin). I'm not sure what he'll choose yet, because there are still many unknowns and thinks that both Jin and Phee don't know about each other... but I hope that he can learn to choose the future. Because if he chooses the past, he'll never in his life be happy (though if Non is alive there's a possibility he could eventually learn to be happy, but I think the chance of that is low). And I think he deserves that, even if he's made some mistakes.
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transwegath · 1 month
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Can I just say... Phee is a great character.
He's a hopeless romantic
He's a fuckboy
He falls in love with his partners after having sex once
He's into photography
He has heart eyes when he looks at his crush
He has nasty rough sex
He wants to take care of his partners
He likes sad boys with pain kinks
He gets distracted from an information mission by a pretty face
He's just a horny teenager
I love him so much!
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transwegath · 1 month
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some ppl are really coping hard with the "Phee was thinking about Non he was taking his anger out on Jin" theories like...in what universe
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transwegath · 1 month
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DEAD FRIEND FOREVER | Ep 9
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transwegath · 1 month
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transwegath · 1 month
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DEAD FRIEND FOREVER | Ep 9
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transwegath · 1 month
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Im only a little bit here but JUST so we know: I am team Jin and PheeJin defender, if thats an issue git off my blog
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transwegath · 2 months
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PheeJin moments living in my head rent free
A non-exhaustive list:
The tension in this scene ~
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Do I even need to say it?
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When Phee covers Jin with the blanket after a traumatic night.
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When Phee goes into attack mode as he sees Jin is in danger
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The way Phee holds Jin after saving him
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Phee promising to protect Jin
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The little nose touch, I'll never be over it
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Phee comforting Jin while they're stuck
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Phee taking care of Jin's dislocated shoulder
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And the way Jin looks a Phee right afterwards ~
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IDK guys I'm just super obsessed with them, I hope we get more soooooooooooooon
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transwegath · 2 months
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In Defense of Jin
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I've been seeing a lot of talk about Jin's character and what he does and doesn't do and what he does and doesn't deserve, and it's irking me. I don't think people are treating him fairly, so I'm going to talk about each of the things I've seen to bash his character one by one.
This is based on what we know as of episode 7.
"Jin is only nice to Non to manipulate him."
A lot of people seem to think that Jin is only nice to Non as a means to an end. In order to get him to write the script, or to appear to be a good person, etc.
However, I think it's pretty clear through the way that Jin interacts with his friend group and with Non individually that he's being genuinely nice, because he's nice to/about Non when there's nothing in it for him to gain. For example:
When Jin credits Non for the success of their script being approved, even though Non isn't there and will never hear about it. He does this because he knows it's right, even though it alienates him from his larger friend group and makes them poke fun at him, just because he doesn't like the way they discredit Non.
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When Jin invites Non to the film pitching even though the others tried to leave him out. It would've been easy to pretend to Non that he didn't think about it or had forgotten, but instead he again chooses to include Non even though he knows his friends don't want that, and he does it because he knows Non worked hard on the script and deserved the recognition as well.
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When Jin shows up to check on Non after something bad happens, not once but twice. The first time interrupting a su*cide attempt and saving Non's life. Jin doesn't know that, but that's part of the reason why it matters.
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"Jin doesn't stand up for Non when his friends bully him."
This one honestly boggles my mind. People seem to think that Jin never stands up for Non when his friends are shitty when in reality Jin stands up Non again
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and again
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and again
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and again
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and again.
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Maybe Jin doesn't do enough, I've seen people say that. But the reality is that it is really really hard to be the only person in a given group that repeatedly calls something out as wrong when no one else wants to hear it. That's scary and demoralizing and makes you feel ostracized and alone. I've been in that situation myself, and it is so much easier to just give in and stop standing up for what is right instead of putting yourself in that uncomfortable position over and over. Particularly when no one that you're speaking to is receptive of it.
Jin isn't a bystander, he's a pretty active defender. Who is a bystander? Fluke.
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Fluke is the biggest bystander there is, he refuses to stand up to/for anything at any point in time. Fluke knows that Tee and Top were the ones who broke the camera and doesn't approve of it, but still doesn't stay anything or stand up for Non. He doesn't back Jin up in that moment, or several other moments when Jin looks to him for support.
Jin stands and he stands alone. But despite that he never wavers, he always calls them out and defends Non at every opportunity, whenever he's around. The only time he stops is when the people around him don't back him up - including Non himself.
"Jin should leave his friend group because of the bullying."
This mentality makes me think that people haven't ever had to cut off a support system before. These people are Jin's closest friends, the people he spends all of his time with. Jin isn't shown to have anyone else.
At the beginning of episode 5, Jin is shown to be surprised by the way the friend group reacts and interacts with Non, asking why they call him names. Which means that for Jin, this bullying stuff is brand new to him. It's not like he joined the group knowing they were bullies and was okay with it.
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It's been a few weeks since the start, maybe a month. Asking Jin to cut off all of his closest friends to choose Non isn't reasonable. That's not how people work. You don't give up your entire support system that easily, unless they betray you.
Jin is stuck between his closest friends and his new friend/crush. He chooses Non time and time again, and perhaps if things had gone further or gone differently Jin would've finally chosen to walk away. But it hasn't been that long, and Jin is stuck in a tough spot as the only person who stands up for Non. He's a teenager and is trying to have the best of both worlds. Was he being naive that Non and the others could ever coexist? Yes. But he's young and idealistic and I don't think that's a crime.
"Jin tells Non to stay in the friend group selfishly."
I'm not going to argue that Jin wanted Non to stay in the friend group. I'm not even going to argue that it's not somewhat selfish considering Jin has a crush on Non. But I also feel like people forget that Non walking away from the others means walking away from the movie script he wrote.
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Jin calls that out over and over, telling his friends it isn't fair to force Non out, and telling Non it wouldn't be fair to himself to give up on that. And I kind of agree with him. Maybe Non's mental health would've suffered less if he had just left the group and given up on the script, but Jin doesn't know how unstable Non can be. He doesn't know that Non is on medication and is being extorted for money. All Jin sees is a friend being treated unfairly after doing a lot of good work for them. So he pushes Non to stay and not give up on his script.
Does he make the right choice? I don't know. But I honestly don't think there was a right choice when you weight Non walking away from the group and losing his script against the opposite. It's an impossible situation.
"Jin released the video to destroy Non."
I wrote a meta previously that I wasn't sure that the video that got released was Jin's. I'm not going to argue that here. Because it's likely that it was Jin that recorded the video.
However I am very sure that Jin didn't release the video himself. The whole thing was shot too weirdly. If Jin had released the video, they would've just shown it so that we can all start to hate him. They didn't do that. Instead they showed him crying over his laptop before shorting it out.
We're also shown these two shots - the one on the left is Jin's screen, and the right is the person who uploaded the video of Non. Notice a difference?
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Yeah Jin didn't release that video. He was watching the video already posted and crying over it. Someone who uses dark mode (Tee is shown to) released that video.
Jin shouldn't have recorded the video. I'm not going to argue about that. It was stupid and it was petty and Jin was angry and upset.
But does that make him the same level as his friends? Especially considering Jin didn't release the video himself, and was reacting in anger... I don't think so. I don't think that makes him the same level as the people who systematically destroyed and exploited and terrorized Non.
Jin has things to feel guilty about, but not as much as the others.
In conclusion: is Jin a perfect angel? NO.
He's not. No character in this show is an angel. All of them make mistakes and hurt each other, and are toxic. But Jin isn't what people think that he is. Jin isn't a mastermind or a terrible person or the one who tore Non to pieces the most.
Jin is a kid. He's a 17 year old dealing with a lot of shitty friends and emotions and who deserves to have some grace extended to him, especially since (unlike most of the other characters in the show) he's TRYING to do what's right.
And you can see that in present, Jin's actions have changed him.
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Jin goes from a happy, bubbly, smiley, friendly person to someone who never smiles, who is sarcastic and has a strained relationship with his friends. What does that show? Guilt.
Jin's action have shaped him into the person he is now. He carries the weight of what he did, of the part he played in ruining Non's life. None of the other characters show that. They're all the same in the present as they were in the past. They haven't learned, haven't grown.
Jin is the best person in that group of friends. Why did he stay friends with them? Could be he feels like he has to because of his part in recording the video. Maybe he feels stuck. Maybe he feels like he deserves it. It's hard to say, I'm sure we'll find out in future episodes.
But as of right now? I don't think Jin deserves the hate he's getting as a character. Not for one mistake against the dozens of mistakes and toxic actions the other characters commit every episode.
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transwegath · 2 months
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In light of the plethora of tumblr posts and tweets talking about how Phee should be/is totes the killer and only in it for revenge (particularly to get back at Jin)...
If that turns out to be the ending with no twists or turns mixed in there somewhere (other than the obvious ones of 'who is White', 'who is Perth' and 'who is Tan') then for me, that will be incredibly disappointing and I'll regard it as an exceedingly sloppy resolution to a story that so far has had us guessing and confused at each step along the way. Like, even if they keep us guessing at Phee's motivations up until the last moment, if they end with 'yeah it's totes revenge guys, that's it' then I will just be kinda depressed that a show with so much potential went with something that's so trite and a standard horror trope.
There's also nothing particularly fresh or exciting about 'guy's boyfriend died/disappeared and now he's killing off the people who did them wrong'. Now I want to be clear, i LOVE horror and I have no problem with this sort of shtick and trope in general - but DFF hasn't been giving us trite, tropey horror so far! Not since like the first episode or two.
So given that they've moved away from being stock horror, I don't want a stock horror ending. Give me something that shows that the characters are conflicted and that there are no true villains in this story, just fucked up humans doing fucked up things. That's what I want and I believe that's what'll make DFF a fantastic show and not just a good one.
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transwegath · 2 months
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Pete Saengtham + text posts for beloved @agendratum (pt. 82/90)
bonus:
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transwegath · 2 months
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Pete Saengtham + text posts for beloved @agendratum (pt. 82/90)
bonus:
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transwegath · 2 months
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Some MacauChay because I love them and I need more of them (This is based off that IU and Tae scene in the Love Wins All mv)
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transwegath · 2 months
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Dead Friends Forever as text posts (episodes 1-5) part 2
(Part 1)
Bonus:
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transwegath · 2 months
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Phee/Jin - Dead Friend Forever - episode 1
The moment that made me go 😳
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transwegath · 2 months
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Look at these two! Ever since they became official, they’ve been inseparable.
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