twistedrus

[twistedrus]

MC: Leona, what's a 'bed-warmer'?

Leona: *his ears twitched sharply*

Leona: *slowly turns his head*

MC: ...

MC: You're scaring me-

Leona: Did someone call you that?

MC: Erm, yeah?

Leona: Describe 'em to me.

MC: Why? And you haven't answered my question-

Leona: *glares*

MC: -yet...

Rook: That's what it means. *smiling but is seething in anger*

MC: Oh.

MC: ...

MC: You think I can stop Leona from killing that person?

Rook: *chuckles*

Rook: Non.

[twistedrus]

*The palace is in chaos because MC, who is four months pregnant, has sneaked out of the castle.*

Maleficia: What have you done to make her so dissatisfied that she felt the need to escape?

The Senate: Humans have always been ungrateful to our—

Maleficia: I AM ASKING YOU A QUESTION!

The Senate: !!!

Baul: Please excuse me, Your Majesty! I have found a note in her room!

Maleficia: A note?

Baul: *kneels then hands it to her*

Maleficia: Hm... *reading the contents*

Maleficia: *relieved smile* I see.

Maleficia: There is no need to send for a search party. She has chosen to stay in the nest my grandson built for her.

The Senate: Then why didn't she inform us directly?!

Maleficia: BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LET HER!

F!MC: Yikes... I think I should've told her in advance. *could hear loud thunder from a distance*

Malleus: No, you did the right thing.

[twistedrus]

Leona: ...

F!MC: *getting his measurements*

Leona: ...

Leona: We have a tailor here; you don't need to do this.

F!MC: *looks him in the eye*

F!MC: It'll be embarrassing for me not to know my fiancé's measurements.

Leona: ...

Leona: ...

Leona: *looking at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help but admit to himself that the clothes his fiancée made for him were quite flattering and suited his style*

Leona: Why do I feel like I'm being pampered?

Kifaji: My lady, a gift has arrived for you from your family.

F!MC: Oh. Must be the sewing machine.

Kifaji: Pardon?

F!MC: I asked them to buy me a sewing machine.

Kifaji: I see...

[twistedrus]

MC: I know you're more of a cat person, but could you watch my puppy for a couple of hours? He's really well-behaved and shouldn't cause any trouble… as long as you don't mind giving him a few cuddles.

Idia: ...

Idia: I don't want him chewing my cables.

MC: He won't!

Idia: ...

Idia: *heavy sigh* Fine.

Idia: *while gaming* *sigh* I want to grab something to drink, but I'm in the middle of a quest.

The puppy: *pawing on his leg*

Idia: Ugh... What- Oh.

The puppy: *carrying a bag of soda cans* *his tail wagging*

Idia: ...

Idia: Heehee... You're a smart puppy.

MC: Idia?

Idia: I'll take care of him.

MC: ...Are you sure?

Idia: Yeah, and he likes me more. Right, Mr. Pixel?

Pixel: Woof!

MC: ...Okay.

MC: Yes!

[twistedrus]

F!MC: You were not supposed to receive that.

Leona: I don't think so.

F!MC: It's just a pregnancy test result. You've got nothing to do with it.

Leona: I know that baby is mine.

F!MC: You're so full of yourself.

Leona: Am I? You don't play around, love. And I know how to count.

F!MC: ...

F!MC: I will handle it myself.

Leona: Like hell I'll let you do that.

[twistedrus]

Leona: *unable to mask his expression, feeling jealous as he watches his fiancée speak with her ex-fiancé*

Kifaji: What's wrong, Prince Leona? You don't seem to be amused.

Leona: It's nothing.

Kifaji: Hm... *follows his gaze* Ah. *chuckles* I understand now.

Leona: Why did they break up?

Kifaji: They had to, since he's her soon-to-be brother-in-law.

Leona: ...

Leona: *looks at him, confused*

Kifaji: You should ask her yourself about the story.

F!MC: My sister's father was against the two of them, so I agreed to pretend to be in a relationship with him so they could be together in secret.

Leona: ...

Leona: Why would you do something like that?

F!MC: Sisterhood.

Leona: ...

Leona: What a solid sisterhood you have.

F!MC: Yes. She did the same thing for me.

Leona: What?

F!MC: *didn't answer him and walks away*

Leona: Hey! What did you mean by that?!

F!MC's sister: I've seen Prince Leona, and he's truly quite handsome.

F!MC: ...

F!MC: Your boyfriend will get sad if he hears you say that.

Her sister: *giggles* You’re really good at hiding your feelings. Good thing I’m your sister.

F!MC: ...

Her sister: *smiles* I'll make sure to win him for you, so no other woman will become his wife.

F!MC: ...

F!MC: You should think about your situation first.

Her sister: I've already thought of something! Don't worry! *she then got herself pregnant so the engagement between MC and her boyfriend broke off*

[twistedrus]

Ace: Excuse me? SOMEONE SHOT YOU?!!

MC: Yes, but they missed. Amateur bitches.

Ace: ...

Ace: Hey, your situation is getting complicated.

MC: This is the price I pay for being a high demand lawyer.

Ace: ...

Ace: *frowns* You're not taking this seriously.

MC: Why should I?

Ace: ...

Jade: Hello, we have come to visit.

Floyd: Shrimpy~ How's it going~? You're not hurt anywhere, are you~?

MC: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm good at dodging a bullet.

Jade: Ah, I would like to apologize about that. There had been a mistake.

Floyd: We already took care of it~ So please don't get mad at us hehe~.

MC: Sure, but I didn't expect for you to hire beginners.

Jade: *chuckles* I appreciate the feedback.

Floyd: But Shrimpy~ Don't you really wanna be Dad's lawyer~?

MC: No, I might end up convicting him in an instant.

Jade: *amused* Is that so?

Floyd: We should warn you that Dad's not the type to give up easily~.

MC: Well I don't give a fuck.

Ace: ...

MC: ...

Ace: Who's this guy?

*Both of them are looking at a man who is tied up and left on their doorstep*

MC: ...

MC: He doesn't look like a stripper.

Ace: Bruh—

MC: Ah, no. I get it. He's the guy who tried to shoot me.

Ace: Excuse me?! And why would he be here?!

MC: I don't know. Let's just call the cops to clean this mess.

[twistedrus]

king of briarland.

[twistedrus]

POV: YOU’RE NRC’S LAST HOPE

I would go insane too lmao if I had to fight batshit malleussy 😭✨

[twistedrus]

She needs to chill

[twistedrus]

Moot told me he looks like he doing the Ursula crawl as a reference lol

[twistedrus]

rolls up to the stand ♦️👑

[twistedrus]

"isn't it creepy how the ramshackle prefect is always surrounded by ghosts?"

[twistedrus]

a boy can dream

(Original from Liar Dancer - Masarada)

[twistedrus]

The lifetime ban from Savanaclaw was worth it

[twistedrus]

glimpse into the things i visualise whenever i use :D jobs

[twistedrus]

🛍♥♠