underthetree845

[underthetree845]

I'm several days late but

Happy Birthday Dazai!

Odango celebrating their kitty's birthday :3

[underthetree845]

Make sure you don't accidentally punish people for communicating their needs and boundaries. When someone cares enough to have the uncomfortable conversation, that's a compliment and a clear sign that they are invested in the relationship. Yes of course it's uncomfortable to hear that something you've been doing has been upsetting someone you care about when that was never your intention, but people generally only bother to have these conversations with the people they want to keep around - the people they trust to care. If they just didn't like you, they'd probably just try to avoid you. So make sure you don't make it into a more punishing experience than it has to be. Try to see the care and the trust behind the criticism, even when it triggers uncomfortable emotions. It's a good sign that they're there telling you.

[underthetree845]

Finding a fresh new daydreaming plot is honestly the best feeling.

[underthetree845]

last post before i enter the medieval torture apparatus (ap exam week)

[underthetree845]

Some of the most romantic things were said to me by the most awful men. Men who knew what to say to keep me in place. To maintain control over me. Men who gaslit me into staying with them; into convincing myself that I was the problem. Even though they were terrible for me, I variously believed that they were the best thing ever. That’s why these days, I am pro-romanticising and appreciating the seemingly soft; mundane; normal; consistent; mild things. No more extreme professions of love. No more intense, absolute and temporary passions. Give me someone dependable and kind. Someone honest and gentle. Who stumbles, sometimes, in expressing their love but doesn’t give you cause to doubt their intentions. Give me daisies and honey over a dozen roses any day.

[underthetree845]

i think 'I trust you with my life but not your own' as a trope is one of the ones that can always fuck me up no matter what

[underthetree845]

I know.

I know she is precious to you. One of only two. I know that you lived with her, that in some part, she raised you. I know you spent years with her. She gave and sheltered and permitted all sorts of things children love. I know you love her. And for that, I love her too.

And yet I know a part of you does not agree with her. Her assumptions of life, her opinions of people, her skewed vision. I know the pain she causes others makes you angry, confuses you. You were the shield for so long, the beloved for whom she would turn away her wrath. But never apologize. Never admit her wrong. Only rage against any who dared to disagree, who would not bend, who would venture to live without her permission or guidance.

You were a child. You knew no better. She was a force that was familiar and you never considered that it was wrong for her to be filled with such wrath. She was as the tide, a storm to be weathered until it faded to peace again, for who could change the course of the ocean, the crack of the lightning, the nature of her?

Then you, her favored, the one she believes she shaped, you picked me. And I think then, she realized you had not been touched by her influence as truly as she wished. She realized that somehow, she had not bought your love. You had given it to her, but no. She wanted you to owe.

She was unkind to you and you called it truth. She was foolish and you cited her nature. She was angry and you allowed her to take it out on you. She pushes into your life, your mind, your home, and I know she does not love you truly. But you make her feel safe. You make her feel loved. She has never learned that love and “no” must coexist, that she is not owed favor or acceptance.

It is coming. I feel it. The brewing of a storm, the stirring of her temper, her jealousy and rage. You will choose me, as you always do, even if you will not choose yourself. And she will snap at you like a diseased animal, a dog whose mouth foams with rabies and filth. You are strong, but you are soft. I fear you will let her tear you because you cannot bear to slit her throat.

She is a dog beaten, a war mutt left to rot by her trainers, infected with hate. And I pity her. I wish to love her. But I will not allow her to strike you. I will tear her jaw from her head before her teeth sink into you. I will mourn over her corpse, rage against her unloving father, the starving and suffering she has endured. But I will not let her strike.

[underthetree845]

I NEED TO READ I NEED TO WRITE I NEED TO CREATE I NEED TO DRAW I NEED TO CLEAN I NEED TO WORK OUT I NEED TO LEARN *watches YouTube for 6 hours*

[underthetree845]

unpopular opinion but i think a ship that's not canon but both halves are canonically insane about each other is infinitely better than a ship that's canon and boring

[underthetree845]

vibes are off. gonna lay face down on the floor until further notice.

[underthetree845]

nostalgic, for nothing [BEAST]

finally able to post the work i did for @skkangstzine! leftover sales are going on until October 10th, which you can find details for here <3

[underthetree845]

Couch cuddlin’

(I also like it this way tbh)

[underthetree845]

Ages ago I went to a flying tiger and saw these..... and I was like "the universe is giving me a skk sign"

[underthetree845]

a streamer i watch just got so fed up with losing bc people weren't listening that he put a discord link in chat and pressured his next team into joining a call with him so they could properly communicate. chuuya core.

[underthetree845]

Everybody shut up I'm sinking into a daydream universe where I'm loved and nothing is wrong

[underthetree845]

i think people really need to read 1984. like REALLY read it. especially considering the current geopolitical climate

[underthetree845]

🎇🎆🎉🎉SENDING YOU BIG HAPPY NEW YEAR WISHES!!!! 🎉🎉🎆🎇

Hi April, I hope you're doing well! Here's sincerely wishing you a 2025 that brings you happiness, health, comfort and other good things :3 Take care!

AWEEE THANK YOU MOON <33

Same to you! Wishing you all the best, you've got this 💙

Happy New Year's time zone everyone! :3