undressedconsciousness - Tumblr blog

[undressedconsciousness]

Glacier Point Road after sunset

Instagram////Society6

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You know you’re up too late when you hear the birds start singing.

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...but, dear me, let us be elegant or die.

- Little Women

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I’m getting my 2nd jab tomorrow. I’m scared as i had some side effects for the first one.

I relapsed in binge eating. I was very depressed and anxious about this all day. It made it so much worse.

I’m really depressed. It happens every Dec-Feb but it’s really overwhelming with moving + working + my physical health + mental health + now i guess my ED flaring up big time. Fuck.

I wish i had more time to focus on my mental health. Mehhhh I guess i’ll make it work like always. >.< it’s just so frustrating that I have to balance working to be able to afford things but also take care of myself? Idk. 

It’s so easy to let food be the first thing to slip, especially when it feels like what I can tolerate changes on a weekly basis. But is that my ED? My stomach? Who knows. 

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Sasha Lane photographed by Ryan Pfluger for Cultured magazine

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Yay!

It’s been a very exciting yet stressful week for me! 

Finally my partner and I moved, starting a week ago. On top of my crazy work schedule and the likes, it was a lot. On Tuesday i had to miss my vestibular PT appointment (i’ve called out of an awful lot of sessions lately, rather due to snow or being ill) due to my POTS. For some reason my blood sugar felt like it was swinging on top of my heart rate being 160, and I just wasn’t having it.

Slowly we’ve been unpacking - which has been anxiety provoking as i’m such a neat freak (and i just want to do things before i forget about them haha) but my to do list just keeps growing. Shit! I just realized i likely never grabbed my Amazon packages from the mail room. Oops! 

Well thats a good enough summary of the week so far if any. Without going into gorey medical details for the sake of such; i’m on day 5 of a waxing/waning migraine, and i’ve had to really be careful as all of the stress of trying to slowly unpack on top of this has really gotten to me. My fatigue and neck pain is creeping up on me but i’m just itching to get unpacked and in my space! It’s so nice to finally have the ability to decorate again. ^.^ 

Did y’all have a good week?

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would you let him into your town

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Seeing stuff like this in a fashion context always weirds me out.... 

Girl, go see a physical therapist, not a photographer. xD 

Veruschka, Wrap by Giorgio di Sant'Angelo, New York, March 1972 - Ph. Richard Avedon

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Aubrey Plaza photographed by Shane McCauley (2021)

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If you’re going to spread “Autism Awareness”, then spread awareness that

We still face workplace discrimination

Caretakers are killing us

Autistic poc are killed for acting autistic because it’s “suspicious”.

ABA is not okay!

The Judge Rotenburg Center is still getting away with abuse.

Autistic girls are underrepresented (and it’s worse for Autistic girls of color)

Autism $peaks does not speak for us!

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2 info-graphics, on the basics of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

For more information, check out my posts on [what it’s like to have BPD], and [a post on the detailed background/basics of BPD].

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TW: Eating disorders, mental health, etc.

I’m struggling with binge eating again? Which is super frustrating given my GI issues. I have off from one of my two jobs for the first time since September 28th (i only took off for one day even though we were on a vacation for numerous days in the woods to get away from people in a socially distanced way).

I’m so super overworked that my mental health is really falling down the tubes but i can’t do much about it, as the only mental health meds that jive well with me don’t jive well with my POTS and MCAS meds. And i’m not absorbing my meds anyways at this point? Can severe constipation do that? Rhetorical question... but seriously. It’s annoying.

My insurance also changed and now my ADHD med isn’t covered - i’m really scared to change from Vyvanse to Adderall. Has anybody here ever made that switch? I’m really scared of the mood side effects. It really helps me to maintain a healthy balance with my eating, helps my mood and my BP. I’ve heard that Adderall can be very different for some people mood wise and i’ve seen that play out in my family as well. :( I may try to see if i can use savings programs to get the cost down?

My joints are feeling better by the vaccine i got has flared my shoulder up and my MCAS up a bit so i’ve been sluggish.

I’m just counting down the days until vacation! If you want the link to my blog, with my face and about my activism/in depth journey LMK. :)

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can't wait to cover my walls with more shit

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ミミハシ・すうどん