vormirjumper - Tumblr blog

[vormirjumper]

i'm on tumblr, i'm depressed, i read fanfiction and listen to music all day and i'm obsessed with british men.

i can't tell if this is 2022 or 2014 anymore

[vormirjumper]

How do you fall back in love with life?

clean your room.  clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders.  clean the dishes.  sweep.  take out the trash.  peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them.  take a long shower.  scrub behind your knees.  brush your teeth.  (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can.  the end result is worth it.)

pull out your notebook.  it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while.  fuck moleskins.  the yellow legal pad will work fine.  sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list.  count clouds.  describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise.  sketch the cracks in the walls.  note the shape light makes when it enters a space.  talk about what the air tastes like, smells like.  what sounds are there?  even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything.  remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail.  remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness.  your world is fathomless.  it has potential.

drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed.  it does not need to be fancy.  buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions.  eat it outside.  if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs.  take your fucking meds.  remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body.  your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor.  take care of it.

read a novel.  underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen.  read a novel like it’s poetry.  read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious.  watch a movie you haven’t seen before.  if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one.  take your time.  let yourself bask.  if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.

your chosen family is important.  remember, they picked you as much as you picked them.  the love has no obligation.  it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion.  you are not a burden.  if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people.  when they need you, listen and be gracious.  always be gracious.  the universe sometimes remembers things like that.

listen to new music.  link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that.  listen to something that you don’t usually listen to.  we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music.  we are falling in love again.  the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.  

allow yourself to indulge in romantics.  press flowers in old books.  play movies with subtitles and mouth the words.  dance in your room.  wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public.  write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them.  write poetry, even awful poetry.  revel in its awfulness.  eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.  

[vormirjumper]

Me for all of 2021:

[vormirjumper]

Yelena and Clint Finally Meet

I have been waiting for these two to meet for months! This scene has left me wanting so much more.

Clint obviously feels he has an obligation to Natasha to emotionally protect her baby sister. I wished, though, Clint was completely honest with Yelena about what actually happened, at Vormir. Even though Yelena probably would not have believed him, at first, I think she deserved to hear all the truth.

Clint whistling to Yelena shows how strong a bond he had with Natasha. You really gotta think about how easily Natasha shared her secret whistle, for her sister, with Clint… the one person she refuses to keep secrets from. I wish we got to see Clint and Natasha share these private conversations with each other when we had the chance.

Clint was trying so hard to stay calm so he can be strong for the both of them, but in the end, he too became overwhelmed by his emotions.

Yelena exclaiming how much she loved Nat so much broke Clint into pieces. In those seconds (which felt like minutes) before he responded, you can see him fighting his emotions as he replayed his private moments with Nat in his head.

As I said before, Clint continues to open up more and more about his feelings. We always knew Clint loved Natasha. Vormir sealed the deal on that, but this is the first time we see Clint admitting, out loud to another person, how much he loved and still loves Natasha.

Considering this was their first meeting, I can understand why Clint wouldn’t unload all his feelings with Yelena. Ultimately, Clint is very private at heart. I’m sure his intimate memories of Nat means so much to him, he is not ready to share, even with Yelena. Clint would want to keep those private emotions and memories tucked away in a special place in his heart.

Those two still have so much to talk about.

They are the two closest people to Natasha and their love for Natasha is what bonds them forever.

gifs @agentholland​ @marveldaily​ @tehtariks​ @darkestspiritofthemoon​ @katherineebishop​ @clintfbarton​

[vormirjumper]

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON (2015)

dir. Joss Whedon

[vormirjumper]

au where Steve and Nat get their happily ever after

Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson in The Nanny Diaries

[vormirjumper]

Black Widow + people mentioning Steve to Natasha aka romanogers crumbs

[vormirjumper]

I didn’t want you to be alone.

[vormirjumper]

The Avengers (2012) dir. Joss Whedon

[vormirjumper]

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) dir. Anthony and Joe Russo

[vormirjumper]

gif request

steve + nat

[vormirjumper]

when you’re already #married and you’ve known each other for less than a day

[vormirjumper]

“you’re so polite!” thank you i have anxiety

[vormirjumper]

hiii!! im not trying to start or say anything bad buttttt...

imagine r and harry are forced to keep their relationship a secret because his team thought that a relationship his former director will cause clicks and boost their names before the premier and/or harry's new album release. so no one knew their relationship except for h's family, olivia, and h's team.

so when r got to the london ono, and saw that olivia is already squished herself in between gem and anne, r just spiraled

idk i thought it would be a good angst hehe.

Backstage Girlfriend 

Pt. 2

Word Count: 1k

Category: Angst

Warning: None

A/N: let’s complete this through asks omg, i love it! 

..

“Y/N,” Jeff smiled, wrapping his arms around you in a hug as you all stood backstage before the show.

Jeff wasn’t your favorite person. 

It made you bitter how the entertainment industry worked, and absolutely sour that your boyfriend’s manager thought your relationship should be one that provides clicks and flashes. It was Jeff who decided that a publicity stunt with Olivia Wilde was it for Harry’s career. You hated it and despite trying to reach a middle ground with Harry and his team, you felt like you were on the edge, two steps away from falling every time Harry was asked to be seen with the director.

Olivia was nothing but sweet to you. In fact, you could even say she sympathized with the situation you were in.

“Hey, Jeff.”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Everyone exchanged looks. From you to Harry, to Olivia to you, to Gemma to Anne.

Harry glanced from you to Jeff, furrowing his eyebrows as if to ask him what that was about.

Jeff only patted his shoulder as to assure him before motioning with his head behind him so you could talk.

Nervous butterflies were in your stomach as you followed him to a few steps away from the group you were standing it, fiddling with your fingers as you looked at him the moment you stopped, “What’s up?”

Jeff sighed, giving you a small smile, “Look I know you’ll hate me for this—“

“Then don’t say it,” you cut him off.

He chuckled, looking around the backstage for a second before looking back at you, “We’re going to need you to stay back here for the show.”

Your face shifted, looking at him as if he had two heads, “Stay back here? Why would I stay back here? You know I’m supposed to watch him from—“

“I know, I know,” he nodded, “But it’s better if it’s just Anne and Gemma and Olivia.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, your face falling. “Are you kidding me right now, Jeff?”

“You’ll still be able to see him well from back here I pro-“

“You know how special this show is,” you shook your head in disbelief, “You know I don’t like watching him from backstage because I can’t properly see him.”

No matter how hard he tried, Harry couldn’t hear you. His eyes were set on you and Jeff, nervously grazing his bottom lip with his finger as he did. It was only when he noticed your body language that he realized you were angry, and he instantly approached you.

Harry put his hands on your waist, making you turn back to look at him the same moment your body relaxed before he stepped beside you, “What’s going on?”

You stayed quiet, avoiding their eyes as you looked at the ground to stop the angry tears from flowing and trying to work on steadying your breath.

Jeff sighed, putting his hands on his hips, “It’s better if it’s just Olivia up there with your family for the show.”

Harry was stunned, squeezing your hip with his hand as he looked at his manager, “Why is—And where would Y/N be?”

“Here. Backstage.”

“Jeff, I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Harry shook his head, “I want her up there with Mum and Gem,” he said.

“It’ll only start rumors about you two having something goi-“

“We’re fucking together!” You snapped, pointing between yourself and Harry, “Have been for 3 years before you decided that it’s bad for his image.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Jeff tried, “You know that’s not how it is.”

“I actually don't, Jeff,” you shook your head at him.

Harry moved his hand to your shoulder, bringing you to his side as he soothingly rubbed up and down your arm.

“Well then I’m sorry for caring about his image and numbers,” Jeff frowned, “And I’m sorry that it’s statistically going according to the plan you hate so much.”

“Come on, Jeff,” Harry sighed, “Tonight’s a big deal to me.”

“That’s why only Olivia should be up there, I’m sorry,” Jeff replied, “That’s all I have to say. This is everything we’ve been working towards and I’d hate for it to get fucked now,” he said, raising his hands up before leaving the both of you.

You both stood in silence for a moment, your jaw clenching and your eyes burning from how you were trying to control your emotions.

“Backstage isn’t so bad,” Harry attempted to joke and it only broke your heart.

You looked at him, almost shocked that he said so, “You’re okay with me watching you from back here?”

His face fell as he looked at yours.

“Are you?” You asked again.

“No, I-“ Harry shook his head before standing in front of you and putting both hands on your arms, “This whole thing is almost over, baby. I have so many more shows I’m going to play that are going to be pretty special, too.”

“I can’t believe you,” you chuckled in disbelief, avoiding his eyes as you felt like you were going to get a whiplash from all the emotions that were bursting within you.

“This is not what I want,” he said, “You know well that this isn’t what I w-“

“I don’t think I do anymore.”

“Y/N-Baby, don’t be like that,” he sighed, bringing you in his arms as he hugged you, “I’m sorry.”

You were almost limp in his arms; having no energy to wrap yours around him. 

“What matters the most is that you’re here.”

And that was when the tears fell.

You pulled away, looking at him, “So you don’t really care that I won’t be seeing you properly?”

“I-“

“That instead, your fake girlfriend will get to be with your family and watch you tonight as if it’s it’s a big deal to her?” 

“I want nothing more than for it to be you with Mum and Gem,” he quickly said, “But as Jeff said, we’ve already come far. We just need to push it a little further, baby. Then it’s over.”

You wiped your cheeks, sniffling as you shrugged his hands off. You leaner closer, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, “Have a good show, H. I’m proud of you.”

And Harry was too stunned to move as he watched you leave. 

[vormirjumper]

Black Widow 2021 | dir. Cate Shortland

[vormirjumper]

kai’s 1k celebration • top ten marvel movies as voted by my followers

NUMBER 6 (51.3%) — BLACK WIDOW (2021)

[vormirjumper]

Harry Styles Coachella 2022