wasawillows - Tumblr blog

[wasawillows]

Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve 'em.

[wasawillows]

isn’t it delicate?

[wasawillows]

I am deeply obsessed with the manuscript as the closing track of the anthology. returning to that first big life altering heartbreak, the one that inspired some of the most acclaimed and beloved work of her career, but it's a distant past now and it's almost as though it happened to someone else. and then, in the wake of all the intense loss and turbulence that the past two hours have documented, she knows what the agony was for. because just like all that now remains of that past relationship is the art that came out of it — including all too well, a song that was changed for her over the years into something beautiful and joyful — one day all that will remain of this period will be this manuscript, this album and all its feelings that eventually won't even be hers anymore but will belong to her past self and to its future listeners.

[wasawillows]

we have officially lost the plot if people are retroactively assigning all of taylor’s older songs to matty. like what do you mean you believe willow is about him 😭😭😭

[wasawillows]

i just realized Taylor's writing style on ttpd is slightly different than her normal approach (not entirely new, she's dipped a toe in on other albums but she's full throttle with ttpd), with the train-of-thought run on lyrics and the weird lines that seem out of nowhere, and that can be somewhat attributed to who she was hanging around when she was writing it. she became close with Phoebe Bridgers who's known for her train-of-thought lyrics, and also sadly M*tty who writes very out-of-pocket lines but still manages to have them not stick out like a sore thumb during the songs... i think she tried her hand at both of those styles but those artists have been doing that their whole careers, she's just trying it out for the first time and that's why i think it just didn't work as well

[wasawillows]

“I used to sit in record labels trying to get a record deal when I was a little kid. And they’d say, ‘you know, you remind us of’ and then they’d name an artist, and then they’d kind of say something disparaging about her, ‘but you’re this, you’re so much better in this way or that way.’ And that’s how we teach women to see themselves, as like you could be the new replacement for this woman who’s done something great before you. I picked women who have done great things in the past and have been these archetypes of greatness in the entertainment industry. Clara Bow was the first ‘it girl.’ Stevie Nicks is an icon and an incredible example for anyone who wants to write songs and make music.”

— Taylor on Clara Bow

[wasawillows]

just thinking about how all taylor wants is like, to be and stay healthy, and matty saw that she wasn’t and weaponized that to worm himself in

[wasawillows]

religion is one of the most prominent recurring themes on the album, and it has been present in some capacity for quite a few records now. taylor previously compared love to religion: her saving grace, her belief system, and a fated divine intervention (false god, cornelia street, and cruel summer are the best examples of this). ‘sacred new beginnings that became my religion’ and ‘we’d still worship this love even if it’s a false god’ are two of the defining statements about her philosophy on the lover album.

taylor doesn’t want to leave all of that behind on ttpd, at least not at the beginning. the first supernatural force she mentions is the spaceship on down bad, which she compares to a skylight of freedom in the epilogue. *something* has finally come to save her from her life of suffering. she doesn’t care if it’s a force of good at first; if anything, she’s just fine being taken away by aliens. she views this man as her destiny. it isn’t until guilty as sin? that taylor starts to ponder the moral implications of what she’s doing. is she guilty as sin for wanting to leave her previous religion and relationship behind? she comes to the conclusion that, even if she rolls the stone away and gets resurrected/redeemed, she cannot avoid the fallout. she is okay with the thought of having to wait, as long as both lovers vow to be together forever, just as she once did with someone else in false god. ‘I choose you and me religiously’ finishes the bridge of the song in a direct callback to cornelia street.

the next mention of religion has murkier imagery. she claims that she does not need the Lord’s help to save this man. she sees the halo that he has, and she can fix him herself. now that she feels free of her prior cage, she isn’t looking for divine intervention anymore. she wants control. she is their route to salvation.

when the relationship falls apart, she retreats back into the position of a believer rather than a divine figure. she compares him to a Holy Ghost who promised to save her and take her to heaven. instead, she is in hell in every sense of the word: she’s down bad and feels guilty for digging up the grave. he was a jehovah’s witness who promised that she could break free of the cage imposed by love without changing her religion altogether; she would’ve just had to switch denominations. she could still have a marriage and kids! she could still have a blue tortured poet! the man was different, but not the dreams they had together. the story of the first part of the album ends here. her faith has been broken, and she has only found any semblance of sanity by refusing to mention these belief systems altogether.

side b/the anthology blends the christian imagery of side a with goddesses, sorcerers, and prophecies. she bargains with these powers to let her have the future she wants (the prophecy). she doesn’t sound like someone believing in salvation. if anything, she feels cursed. she decides that the concept of divinely ordained timing will never work in certain relationships (‘the goddess of timing once found us beguiling / she said she was trying / peter, was she lying?’). this disdain extends onto her perception of other people’s faith (‘bet they never spared a prayer for my soul’). she does position herself as a prophet in cassandra, but even then, she admits that the role has hurt her. perhaps the pain in thank you aimee was meant to be, or perhaps she was just strong enough to build a legacy in spite of it, boulder by boulder. is she a martyr? does she want to be? or did she save herself?

the only real love song on this half of the album makes no mention of fate or any divine forces. it wasn’t meant to be. it’s not a supernatural invisible string or lightning in a bottle. she is just in love.

the album ends with the manuscript, which revisits an old story of a defining, formative heartbreak. as she sings ‘at last, she knew what the agony had been for’ while describing the legacy of her writing, she seems to revert to thinking about the purpose of trauma. the only exception is that, in this case, she is the one who found meaning in her pain by turning it into a manuscript. writing is her belief system now, and she proselytizes by telling her stories and thus giving up the manuscript.

ultimately, her belief in destiny has chewed her up and spat her out. she so desperately clung to her existing belief systems that she was fooled by a conman, which left her feeling cursed. religion is supposed to be with someone even in their darkest moments, but the album explains that taylor often felt abandoned. the only constant in her life was, well, herself. she’ll be okay, but her pen will be her saving grace.

[wasawillows]

'i was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me' is such a sad opener because it's like. first of all the situation is severe enough that that's even an option. but at the same time it's like she's fallen through the cracks to the point where she doesn't register as a concern to anyone for long enough for them to go through with it

[wasawillows]

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

[wasawillows]

y’all abbreviating songs from ttpd already, i’m still learning all the names to the songs despite hearing them all multiple times now, we are not the same 😓

[wasawillows]

alright two days in what song off ttpd is YOURS 😤

[wasawillows]

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

[wasawillows]

"we learned the right steps to different dances" is such a beautiful way to explain that nobody did anything wrong but it does not work out if you have different goals or different ideals of life, maybe sometimes things don't work out and it is nobodys fault

[wasawillows]

how can i be guilty as sin?

[wasawillows]

I LOVE YOU, IT'S RUINING MY LIFE.

[wasawillows]

can we talk about "he said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was, soon they'd be pushing strollers" because that is such an insane thing for a 29 year old to tell a 20 year old. or for anyone to tell anyone if they're gonna break up with them 2 months later. or actually for anyone to tell anyone in any context because... what the fuck??