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writeontimey · 4 years
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WoT - An ocean freeze pots a mind at ease. // Ep 1
Today we have, Beach Bashing, Plant Problems and Today's Poem.
BEACH BASHING
The episode begins by showing a beach. Out of nowhere, Philip, Chris and Joseph appear running along the boardwalk, each one is carrying their own ice cream cart.
PHILIP Ok, Joseph and Chris! Let's sell ice cream!
JOSEPH (sarcastically) Really, Philip? Well, I guess selling computers with ice cream carts would be pretty weird huh?
Philip and Chris look at Joseph, both annoyed.
PHILIP Hey, ignorant, I'm explaining it to the reader.
JOSEPH Oh, already recording? Oops, well, I don't think that was very "ice" of me right now.
Joseph runs to a drum set, plays "ba dum tss" and quickly returns.
JOSEPH Heh, heh!
CHRIS So, will you be making ice puns the whole episode?
JOSEPH Yep, why? Will you give me the "cold shoulder" if I don't stop?
Joseph runs to a drum set, plays "ba dum tss" and quickly returns.
JOSEPH HA!
Chris hands Joseph a giant ice sculpture of a shoulder.
JOSEPH (struggling to hold the ice) AAAAHHH!
He can't hold it and is crushed by the ice.
CHRIS Yep.
JOSEPH (crushed and bruised) Not "cool", dude.
PHILIP Continuing, whoever comes back here with more money wins! See you here at the same place at 5PM!
JOSEPH (already recovered) AND CHRIS Beauty!
PHILIP LET'S GO!
Philip, Chris and Joseph all run to different directions from the beach. The scene focuses on Philip, who is pushing his cart, he walks until he arrives at a man under a parasol. Philip stands in front of the man.
PHILIP Want an ice cream?
PARASOL MAN Why would I want ice cream?
PHILIP To eat it, DUH!
PARASOL MAN Yeah, makes sense, but no, I don't want any.
PHILIP What if there is a reward for buying one?
PARASOL MAN Hmmm, okay, then I'll buy it, is there a reward?
PHILIP No, crap, you're good at business!
PARASOL MAN Yes, I'm a businessman.
PHILIP You know what, I like you, yes I have a horrible taste. What if I make a discount, will you buy one?
PARASOL MAN Maybe.
PHILIP It's 1 dollar, but if you give me 99 cents and I'll accept it!
PARASOL MAN Of course not! Do you think I'm stupid?
PHILIP If I answer it, you won't want to buy it anymore.
PARASOL MAN Make a real discount already!
PHILIP Real? Isn't that brazilian currency? Hey, I only accept dollars here!
PARASOL MAN If you're not gonna make a discount you can leave.
PHILIP Okay, okay. 50 cents for the ice cream and 50 cents for the pot and you'll get the spoon for free!
PARASOL MAN Deal!
The man gives Philip two 50-cent coins, and Philip gives him a strawberry ice cream, Philip then runs off in search of his next client. After that the scene changes for Joseph, talking to a surfer.
JOSEPH Trust me, these ice creams are magical, they make you smarter if you eat them.
SURFER Really? How much is one?
JOSEPH 10 dollars.
SURFER 10 DOLLARS? What a rip-off.
JOSEPH It's inflation.
The surfer gives 10 dollars to Joseph, and the dollars start to float.
JOSEPH See, inflation!
SURFER Yeah, right.
Joseph grabs the floating money and gives the surfer a mint ice cream. The surfer eats some of the ice cream while he looks at the horizon, when looking, he sees Philip, selling ice cream to someone else. Philip's cart has a sign saying "Ice cream, 1 dollar."
SURFER Hey! That guy over there is selling the same ice cream for 1 dollar! I COULD BUY 10 POTS OF ICE CREAM WITH IT!
JOSEPH See? You're already getting smarter!
SURFER Grr, give me my money back!
JOSEPH No refunds!
SURFER Yes refunds!
The surfer takes Joseph's 10 dollars forcefully, and gives him 1 dollar.
SURFER THIS is the correct price.
The surfer leaves eating his ice cream.
JOSEPH (watching the surfer leave, teasing) No, "this" is a pronoun and a determiner!
Philip then arrives pushing his ice cream cart and stays close to Joseph.
PHILIP Well, well, well, trying to make money by lying to the people, how wrong!
JOSEPH It works in politics.
PHILIP Yeah, but only when the person CAN lie, like me!
JOSEPH I lie better.
Joseph grabs a bed and places it on the floor, he then jumps on it and lies down on the bed.
JOSEPH (lying in bed) "Sea"?
Joseph gets a mini drum set, puts it on the bed and plays a "ba dum tss", he then throws the mini drum kit away.
JOSEPH And also, I sell better than you.
PHILIP Is this part of the lie? 'Cuz I sell better.
JOSEPH SO IT'S A CHALLENGE?
PHILIP Challenge within challenge? Deal!
JOSEPH DEAL!
PHILIP DEAL!
JOSEPH DEAL!!
PHILIP DEAL!!
Out of nowhere, a random kid approaches Joseph's cart.
KID Can you give me a...
JOSEPH (looking at the kid) SHUT UP I'M BUSY! (he starts to look at Philip) DEAL! (he realizes what he did and looks at the kid again)
KID Oh, you're busy? Oops.
PHILIP (waving to the kid) Hey, I'm not busy!
KID (giving money to Philip) Cool! I want an ice cream!
JOSEPH N-n-no! I'm not busy! I'm open! I'M OPEN!
PHILIP (giving the kid a pot of ice cream) Hi Open, I'm Selling More Than You.
The kid then leaves with their ice cream. Philip gives Joseph a teasing smile, and Joseph looks at him angrily.
JOSEPH Fine! Now I'm mad.
PHILIP Really, I thought you were Open.
JOSEPH Let the games begin!
The two run each other in the opposite direction.
After that the scene changes to Chris, who arrives next to a man with an angry expression sitting in a chair under his parasol, a waitress approaches him and gives him a beer.
WAITRESS Here sir.
ANGRY MAN ABOUT TIME! WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG?
WAITRESS What? I went there and came back in less than a minute.
ANGRY MAN ALL OF THAT FOR A MISERABLE BEER, YOU SHOULD HAVE COMMITMENT, AND YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE EVEN A SECOND TO GET A SIMPLE BEER, I BET YOU STOPPED TO TALK TO SOME STUPID FRIEND OF YOURS! AND YOU STILL HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ANSWER THE CUSTOMER LIKE THAT! WHAT KIND OF IRRESPONSIBLE IDIOT ARE YOU? GO AWAY!
The waitress gives the man one last angry look and leaves, angry and sad. After that, Chris, who was nearby and heard everything, looks at the camera.
CHRIS (to the camera only) This is gonna be a good challenge, but I'll give him a chance.
Chris then gently touches the man on his shoulder.
CHRIS Hello sir, would you like an ice cream to chill out?
ANGRY MAN NO! AND GO FIND A REAL JOB, WE ALREADY HAVE TOO MANY USELESS ICE CREAM SELLERS AROUND!
CHRIS (sarcastically) You're nice aren't ya?
ANGRY MAN ESPECIALLY WITH IDIOTS WHO TRY TO SELL ME THINGS I DON'T WANT! IF I WANTED IT I WOULD ASK FOR IT, MONEY ISN'T A PROBLEM! NOW GO AWAY OR I'LL MAKE YOU GO AWAY!
CHRIS Cool, how?
ANGRY MAN Ah, so you're another one that likes to answer customers rudely, aren't ya? LIKE THIS!
The man grabs Chris in one hand, her entire cart on one shoulder and throws both of them with all his strength into the water. The scene then shows Chris with her cart sinking.
CHRIS Okay, he lost the chance.
The scene changes to the man, laughing while standing up, looking at Chris and her cart in the water.
ANGRY MAN Hahaha, that's what you get when you mess up with me.
He then sits down in his chair again, drinks his beer and turns around to throw the empty bottle on the floor behind his back, as soon as he turns around Chris appears out of nowhere behind him, with her ice cream cart intact and dry.
ANGRY MAN AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
The man gets scared and jumps so high that he hits his head on the ceiling of the parasol, after hitting his head he falls, sitting on his chair with a bump forming on his head, after that the empty beer bottle that was in his hand falls on his head and breaks, making the bump even bigger.
CHRIS There's a bump on your head.
ANGRY MAN (confused and hurt) dOEs It lOok LiKE A gOOsE?
CHRIS No, why it would look like a goose?
ANGRY MAN (confused and hurt) 'cUz tHEn it woULd bE a GooSE bUmP hAhaHAhaHaHAh
CHRIS (for the camera) He must be Aries.
Chris then pulls out a giant megaphone.
CHRIS (shouting into megaphone) HELLO, HELLO, HELLO!
The angry man gets scared again, hits his head on the parasol's ceiling again and falls on his chair… again. When he hit his head, his huge bump went back into his head and disappeared.
ANGRY MAN OOOOOWWWW!!! WAIT...? YOU...? BUT I...? HOW...? YOU WERE...?
CHRIS (jumping on the man's lap) Want an ice cream, buddy? Only 1 dolar.
ANGRY MAN (throwing Chris out and standing up to look intimidating) NO!!! YOU SCARED ME TWICE!!! LISTEN HERE BRAT, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
CHRIS I like to think that I'm JungCook's wife. In fact, you kinda look like him... well... only uglier.
ANGRY MAN DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO?
CHRIS Doesn't look like Jimin or Yoongi so… don't care
ANGRY MAN I AM DICK JOHNSON! POLITICIAN, RICH, AND VERY FAMOUS FOR RUINING THE LIVES OF IRRITANT PEOPLE LIKE YOU, I ALREADY DESTROYED HUGE BUSINESSES, AND I WILL DESTROY YOUR DUMB LITTLE ICE CREAM BUSINESS IN A BLINK OF EYES!
The scene shows Chris, with a pillow, lying on the beach sand, sleeping and snoring very loudly, she suddenly wakes up..
CHRIS What? Did you say something?
ANGRY MAN Do you have a problem?
CHRIS I don't have "a problem", but I have "a strawberry", "a chocolate" and I even-
ANGRY MAN GET OUT! GET OUT!
CHRIS Get Out? Ok.
Chris whistles and a big rottweiler enters the scene, on the dog's collar has the name "Out".
CHRIS Here!
The dog starts attacking the man, who screams, after attacking him, the dog stops in front of Chris, who pets it and gives it a treat, the dog then leaves.
CHRIS (to the man, who is hurt on the ground) He's a cutie, isn't he?
ANGRY MAN Ouch…
CHRIS No, "Ouch" is the Pitbull, this one's OUT!
The dog, Out, comes back and starts attacking the man again, he then quickly leaves. The angry man then stands ups, bends down to talk to Chris and screams in her face.
ANGRY MAN (screaming in Chris' face) LEAVE!
CHRIS Uuh, plural of leaf?
ANGRY MAN JUST GO AWAY! THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!
Chris then pulls out a speech balloon and a Goku from behind her.
CHRIS But are you sayin' or super sayin'?
GOKU KAAAMEEEHAAAMEEEHAAAAA!
Goku uses a Kamehameha on the man, turning him to dust, the ashes that remains of the man falls on his chair.
ANGRY MAN (powder only) The heck?
CHRIS (throwing Goku away and popping the text balloon) You're all burned up, dude.
The man then gets up from his chair and stands trying to make an intimidating pose in front of Chris, who is smiling at him beside her ice cream cart.
CHRIS So, do you want an ice cream?
ANGRY MAN NO! NO! NO! I ALREADY SAID NO! ARE YOU AN IDIOT?
CHRIS Only on days that end with "y".
ANGRY MAN GRRRR... You know what? I'm gonna go to another chair, bye. I HOPE YOU DROWN, DEMON!
The man leaves looking for another chair.
ANGRY MAN HELLO, HELLO? ANYONE USEFUL IN THIS HELLISH BEACH TO HELP ME? I WANT A PARASOL AND A CHAIR RIGHT NOW! AND IT'S BETTER TO BE A COMFORTABLE ONE OR I'LL BREAK IT IN YOUR HEAD!
The scene shows Chris, making a face like she knows that the man won't escape so easily, Chris then looks at the camera.
CHRIS Time for Round 2, folks.
She grabs a ball with the number 2 on it, raises her eyebrows and throws the ball away. The scene then changes to Joseph, who is waiting for a client, finally, a kid approaches.
KID Do you have ice cream?
JOSEPH (sarcastically) No, the sign is a lie.
KID Oh, dang it, I wanted one, okay whatever bye.
The kid starts to run and move away from Joseph.
JOSEPH What? No, I was j... oh whatever, go away!
Out of nowhere a well dressed man approaches Joseph's cart.
MAGIC BEANS TRADER Good day, young man. I would like an ice cream.
JOSEPH Nice, 1 dollar!
MAGIC BEANS TRADER Well, how about something even more precious than money? Three magic beans!
JOSEPH Three magic beans? Do you think I'm stupid?
MAGIC BEANS TRADER Well… um… uuh.
JOSEPH At least give me some cornbread too.
MAGIC BEANS TRADER Deal!
Joseph gives the man a pot of pineapple ice cream, and the man gives him three beans and cornbread, and Joseph eats it right away, the man then goes away.
JOSEPH (looking at the screen) Ha, he thinks he can fool me, (licks his lips) dee-licious.
The scene changes to Chris, flying on the beach with her cart, she then suddenly stops.
CHRIS (paralyzed) Oh no… I just felt! (crying) SOMEONE IN THE TRIO EATING SOMETHING WITHOUT ME! Waaaah.
She starts to fly around with her cart crying, the scene then changes to Philip pushing his cart.
PHILIP ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM! COME GET YOUR ICE CREAM!
A volleyball player approaches him and his cart
VOLLEYBALL PLAYER Hey buddy, homemade?
PHILIP Me? Well, I was made on my home, but I won't get into details 'cuz this show is family friendly.
VOLLEYBALL PLAYER What? No, I'm talking about the ice cream!
PHILIP Well, ice cream is inanimate so I don't think it can have...
VOLLEYBALL PLAYER I AM ASKING IF THE ICE CREAM IS MADE AT HOME!
PHILIP Oh, no, it's made in a pot, there are also some that are made on a stick.
VOLLEYBALL PLAYER FORGET IT!
The volleyball player leaves furious, Philip just makes a confused expression. The scene changes to Joseph talking to another kid.
KID Give me a currant ice cream!
JOSEPH I don't have any currant one, do you want any other flavor?
KID Oh, sure, then gimme a chocolate one and a currant one!
JOSEPH (looks at the screen incredulous) There's no currant, dude.
KID Wow, alright, then gimme a mint one and a currant one.
JOSEPH THERE'S NO CURRANT ONE!
KID For God's sake, you don't have any ice cream do ya?
JOSEPH I DO, I JUST DON'T HAVE CURRANT!
KID ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! JUST GIMME A CURRANT ONE AND LEAVE!
Joseph looks at the screen and runs away, he goes to a currant bush, grabs some currants, and runs to an ice cream fabric, he then stays 3 seconds inside the fabric and runs back to the kid, holding a pot of currant ice cream.
JOSEPH (reaches out to give the kid the ice cream) Here.
KID YAAY!
Joseph throws the ice cream in the ground and smashes it with a giant hammer, the kid looks at it, scared.
JOSEPH SCRAM!
The kid runs away.
JOSEPH (calmer, looking at the camera) Kids nowadays… aren't they beeeautiful?
Joseph looks at the horizon and sees Philip talking to an elderly woman. The scene focuses on Philip and the woman.
ELDERLY WOMAN Son, what does the strawberry one taste like?
PHILIP (sarcastically) Mango.
The woman looks angrily at Philip, but quickly stops and starts laughing.
ELDERLY WOMAN Hahahahahahah, oh, I love some humorous people, alright give me one.
The woman gives 1 dollar to Philip, and he gives her a strawberry ice cream. The scene again focuses on Joseph, who is outraged by what he saw.
JOSEPH (looking at camera) WHAT? WHY WHEN HE'S RUDE IT STILL WORKS?
A young woman with sunglasses comes close to Joseph, when Joseph sees her his jaw drops.
SUNGLASSES WOMAN Hi, do you have mint?
JOSEPH (in love) Yeah! Do you have a boyfriend?
SUNGLASSES WOMAN Yes.
JOSEPH (excited) Want a second one?
SUNGLASSES WOMAN No.
Joseph, gets sad and grabs two pots of mint ice cream.
JOSEPH (holding two pots of ice cream) With or without chips?
SUNGLASSES WOMAN What kind of chips?
JOSEPH You know, The Titanic, SS Edmund Fitzgerald, S. S. Minnow.
SUNGLASSES WOMAN Oh. Uuuuh… ok, bye.
The woman gets weirded out and walks away.
JOSEPH (looking at camera) Well, guess the "ship" Joseph x Sunglasses Woman was a "wreck".
Joseph slaps his own knee.
JOSEPH I'M A COMEDY GENIUS!
Out of nowhere the screen freezes and a news intro plays. The scene then changes to William, sitting on a news scenary.
WILLIAM BREAKING NEWS! William here, thank you. We are interrupting your reading for a simple reminder. CHIP, with an C, and SHIP with an S, are two different things, don't eat ships or boats or anything similar, and don't put ships in your ice cream, it was just a little pun haha, and the pun is not even good. Don't worry, don't worry, your reading can continue now, just a quick reminder. Thanks.
The news ends and the same intro from the beginning plays. The scene changes to Chris, still flying and crying around with her cart.
CHRIS (crying) Waah, waaah, why didn't he wait to share it with me, why, why.
Chris suddenly stops crying when she sees the angry man from before, who finally found a good chair and parasol, next to him, an elderly man, the one who gave him the chair, the old man is holding a beer. The scene changes to Chris again, she quickly gasps.
CHRIS Why was I crying again?
The scene changes to the angry man sitting on his chair and the old man standing close to him.
ELDERLY MAN We have already went through 10 chairs, just decide it already!
ANGRY MAN WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING? I AM A CLIENT, YOU HAVE TO SMILE AND EVEN KISS MY FOOT IF I ASK FOR IT, I AM THE AUTHORITY HERE. THIS ONE IS GOOD, GIMME MY BEER AND SCRAM, BECAUSE YOU ANNOY ME, OLD MAN.
The elderly man gives the beer to the angry man and leaves, the man remains calm for a while, then Chris appears out of nowhere behind him and takes a megaphone.
CHRIS (speaking very fast and loudly on the megaphone, imitating a saleswoman) HELLO, HELLO, HELLO! I'm here to present you an amazing product! THE ICE CREAM! Only 1 dollar!
ANGRY MAN AAAAAAHHHHH!
The angry man jumps very high and almost hits his head again on the ceiling of the parasol, but when he is very close to hitting, Chris puts a pillow on the ceiling that cushions the hit. The man then falls sitting in his chair, still panting from the shock.
CHRIS That's the spirit, you know what they say (screaming in the megaphone) I SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!
ANGRY MAN GRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHH !!! YOU AGAIN!!!
CHRIS Ya' missed me, right?
ANGRY MAN NO!!! I HATE YOU!!!
Chris then calmly gets closer to the man.
CHRIS Now have a pot, and don't be mean. Would you like to buy ice cream?
ANGRY MAN (grabbing Chris and throwing her away) I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!
The man throws Chris away, but when he turns around she is just there as if nothing had happened.
CHRIS Would you like a chocolate one? There's also mint and bubblegum.
ANGRY MAN I would not like a chocolate one. And neither mint or bubblegum. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!
CHRIS Would you like napolitan? While being run over by a van?
When Chris says this a van appears out of nowhere and runs over the angry man, leaving him on the ground, injured.
ANGRY MAN (ran over and hurt) I would not like napolitan. While being run over by a van. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!
The man gets up, still pretty injured.
CHRIS Do you want some brown bread? With an anvil in your head?
ANGRY MAN AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
An anvil then falls on the angry man's head, crushing him.
ANGRY MAN (crushed, below the anvil) I do not want some brown bread. With an anvil in my head. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!
The man gets up and throws the anvil away.
CHRIS Would you, could you, honeycomb? While you hold a ticking bomb?
The man looks at his hands and sees a bomb, he tries to throw it away but it's glued to his hand, he just looks hopeless at the screen and the bomb explodes on him, making his face all black because it burned it.
ANGRY MAN (with his face all burned up, injured) I would not, could not, honeycomb. While I hold a ticking bomb. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!
The man cleans his face and looks at Chris threateningly.
CHRIS Aw, come on, you're on the beach. Try vanilla, lemon, peach!
ANGRY MAN I don't care that I'm on the beach. I won't try vanilla, lemon or peach. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream! Seriously, give up, I will not buy it.
CHRIS Geez, you're though, come on, ya gotta try it.
ANGRY MAN NO, I WON'T, ALRIGHT THIS RHYMING IS ANNOYING, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
CHRIS (crossing her arms) Well, I don't, (jumping on the man's arms) and I think we should stay in touch.
ANGRY MAN (throwing Chris in the sand) I HATE! I HATE! I HATE! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
CHRIS I understand that you're rude, you know what? Talk to the hand!
Chris makes the "talk to the hand" sign, and a giant hand falls from the sky and smashes the man.
ANGRY MAN (crushed) Ooouch…
CHRIS (excited) The Pitbull?
ANGRY MAN Ugh.
CHRIS Ok, I have a question.
The angry man gets up quickly, throwing the giant hand away.
ANGRY MAN Listen here, if you say "Do you want to buy an ice cream?" I will-
CHRIS Finally surrender and buy the ice cream?
ANGRY MAN NO!!! I DON'T WANT ICE CREAM!!!!!!!
CHRIS Why not?
ANGRY MAN BECAUSE NOT!!
CHRIS Why not?
ANGRY MAN BECAUSE NOT AND PERIOD!!!
CHRIS Why not?
ANGRY MAN BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE ICE CREAM AND I DON'T WANT TO SUPPORT YOUR USELESS BUSINESS!!!
CHRIS Why not?
ANGRY MAN B…well, uuuhhh.
CHRIS Tell me, why are you so rude with everyone? Did you go through the same?
ANGRY MAN Uhhhh...
CHRIS You can tell me.
Chris throws the man's chair away and puts in a therapy chair, the man lies down, she then takes a psychologist's chair and a notebook.
ANGRY MAN (lying down while Chris takes notes) Well, you know, in the past I was poor and had a small business too, I was poor but honest, I tried to stay cool. Until one day several richer people started to make fun of me, they said that I was going to die poor, I was insecure and stressed out, and I started working like crazy to try to be richer than them, I became a monster, I destroyed everyone smaller and took all their money for me, now that I’m rich, I don’t wanna go back to poverty anymore, I’m afraid of that, so I never trust anyone and I’m rude to everyone, to avoid bonding and having more betrayals. What do you think about that, doctor?
Chris stops writing in her notebook.
CHRIS That was...
Chris shows what she had written down, in fact the notebook was just a crossword puzzle.
CHRIS (laughing) ...HILARIOUS, hahahahahahahahaha! Oh poor guy, poor little thing, wah wah, cry cry!
The man jumps out of the therapy chair, insanely irritated, looking at Chris.
CHRIS But, anyways, do you want an ice cream?
The man's veins begin to pulse strongly, he becomes red, foaming with rage, from his ears and nostrils smoke comes out, he raises his hand to Chris. Tired, he calms down, lowers his head in defeat and gives Chris a dollar.
ANGRY MAN If I buy one will you leave?
CHRIS In a blink.
ANGRY MAN Ugh, ok, what do you have?
CHRIS Ice cream.
ANGRY MAN WHAT'S THE FLAVOR?
CHRIS Sweet.
ANGRY MAN GRRRRR!!! Ugh, give me a chocolate one.
CHRIS OK.
Chris opens her ice cream cart to get the man's ice cream, but stops halfway.
CHRIS Hey! Wait a second.
Chris grabs an ice cream pot, opens it and only sees fish, she opens another one and sees vegetables.
CHRIS (angry) Oh poo, I hate when I open the ice cream pot and there's frozen food in it.
She looks at the man.
CHRIS Yeah man, no ice cream today, take your dollar back.
The man takes the dollar and looks at Chris, then he starts to smile.
ANGRY MAN Hahaha, frozen food? HAHA HA! So you never had ice cream? HAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The man takes Chris's cart and jumps aways, driving the cart like crazy on the beach, doing somersaults and throwing frozen food at everyone.
ANGRY MAN (from a distance, jumping, moving further and further away) HAHAHAHA, FREE FOOD GUYS, TODAY WE HAVE FROZEN FISH, WHO WANTS SOME? HAHAHAHA BLUBLUBLU BUY FROZEN VEGETABLES TOO PEOPLE HAHA!
The scene shows Chris, a little weirded out, she looks at the camera confused and says.
CHRIS Actually, this guy must be Pisces.
A clock on a tower in the distance says it's 5PM, Chris sees the clock and decides to go flying to the boardwalk where the challenge started. The scene then changes to Philip, already on the boardwalk, talking to a girl in a hat and sunglasses.
PHILIP You know, I was thinking, if revenge is a dish best served cold, and revenge is sweet, does it mean that it is ice cream?
HAT WOMAN What? (being pushed) AAAAAHHHH !!!!
Joseph arrives irritated, running over and pushing the girl with his cart.
PHILIP Jeez, (pause) sold nothing, right Joe?
JOSEPH Shh.
Out of nowhere Chris arrives flying without her cart and lands next to Joseph and Philip.
PHILIP Chris, we didn't see you all morning.
JOSEPH Where's your cart?
CHRIS I lent it to a guy.
PHILIP Ok, people, how much did you get?
CHRIS AND JOSEPH 0 dollars.
JOSEPH 0 dollars… buuut, a three beans and cornbread lunch.
CHRIS (angry) SO IT WAS YOU! GRRRRR!
Chris starts to beat up Joseph inside a cartoon cloud fight!
JOSEPH (inside the fight cloud) AAAHHHH!
PHILIP I got 4 dollars. I win! And no, we really can't work as ice cream sellers.
The fight cloud suddenly stops, with Chris and Joseph making stupid poses.
JOSEPH Yeah, now "icy" how bad it is.
Joseph runs to a drum set, plays "ba dum tss" and quickly returns.
JOSEPH I'll lose my sanity, but not the pun.
Chris starts to beat up Joseph in the fight cloud again.
PHILIP But hey, this job may not be for us but I know someone who will like it.
Joseph and Chris stop fighting and go one to each side of Philip.
JOSEPH AND CHRIS What? Who?
PHILIP Leonard the Leaf!
Philip extends his arms off the screen, holds something and brings his arms to the screen again, revealing that he is holding Leonard the Leaf. Philip then throws Leonard on top of his cart.
LEONARD Hi.
JOSEPH The people will not understand this reference, his story hasn't started yet!
PHILIP (looking at camera) But it's the next one, so if you want to know who the heck this guy is, READ THE REST!
Philip, Joseph and Chris look at each other with tired and irritated looks, Leonard just sits in Philip's ice cream cart, looking at the trio with a neutral look.
PHILIP Now let's go home, I hated this beach.
JOSEPH AND CHRIS I agree.
The trio runs off the screen, leaving only Leonard on top of the carts, Leonard looks at the camera confused and the screen closes.
-------------------------------------------------- ------- PLANT PROBLEMS
The scene begins with Leonard in the garden of a house talking to a woman, the garden has huge grass.
HOUSE OWNER Okay, so, I want you to fix my garden. Can I really trust you?
LEONARD Of course, I've been a gardener since kindergarden.
HOUSE OWNER It's… kindergarTen.
LEONARD Whatever.
HOUSE OWNER But wait, aren't you a leaf? Isn't a leaf cutting other leaves a little strange?
LEONARD What? Are you saying that all the leaves are the same?
HOUSE OWNER No, it's just… um… nevermind, how long have you been a gardener to have so much experience?
LEONARD Who do you think planted the Garden of Eden?
HOUSE OWNER WAS IT YOU?
LEONARD Exactly.
HOUSE OWNER "Ezacly"? Who is it? A friend of yours?
Leonard looks at the camera a little surprised.
LEONARDO (sarcastically) Yes.
HOUSE OWNER Okay, so seriously, how long have you been a gardener?
LEONARD Since I saw the ad saying you needed one.
HOUSE OWNER Ugh, I feel like I'm making a mistake.
LEONARD Take it easy, the lawn will be beautiful like me.
HOUSE OWNER (concerned) Is… is that a threat?
Leonard looks at the camera with a sarcastic look.
LEONARD I can see how someone like you would think that.
HOUSE OWNER What do you mean by that?
LEONARD Exactly.
Leonard shoves the woman into her house.
HOUSE OWNER Huh? What does your friend has to do with anything?
Leonard then locks the door.
LEONARD Let's see, what can I do.
Leonard looks at the lawn mower, picks it up and starts mowing the lawn.
LEONARD HEY HEY HEY! What's that, narrator? Are you dumb? Do you think I'm going to do something as simple as that? YOU can be a simpleton like that, but I'm Leonard the Leaf, I can do better than that.
You said "that" four times.
LEONARD And is THAT your problem?
Whatever, Leonard starts to think, until he has an idea and a light bulb appears in his head.
LEONARD A light bulb? How cliché, I can do better than that!
The light bulb gets angry at Leonard and breaks itself in his head.
LEONARD Ow! HEY!
And an anvil falls on Leonard and crushes him.
LEONARD (crushed and hurt) NARRATOR!
And a ship also falls o-
LEONARD Ok, ok, I won't be mean anymore!
Alright then. A glowing mushroom appears in Leonard's head and he has an idea.
LEONARD Now that's more creative! And I have an idea, I'll get cleaning products and mix with herbicide, the mixture of the two things will kill the whole grass. Genius.
Leonard starts picking up various products without even looking, and when he goes to get the herbicide, he gets a liquid fertilizer by accident. Leonard then pours them all into a bowl and starts mixing everything with a wooden spoon.
LEONARD I am so smart.
Leonard takes the wooden spoon out of the bowl to put on the floor. The moment he was taking it out of the bowl, a small carnivorous plant bites his foot.
LEONARD OW! HEY!
Leonard kneels and gets closer to the carnivorous plant that bit him.
LEONARD (angry) Listen here! (pointing at the plant) You little wretch, how dare you bite the great Leonard the Leaf? I warn you, if you do it again, you will be the first one to die.
When Leonard finishes saying this, the carnivorous plant bites his index finger hardly.
LEONARD AAAAHHH! (sucking his finger) Okay!
Leonard takes the wooden spoon and dips the tip of it in the bowl, soaking it with the mixture. He then lets the mixture drip onto the carnivorous plant, which begins to melt.
LEONARD That's what you get for messing with LEONARD THE LEAF!
The melting carnivorous plant suddenly grows and becomes gigantic in front of Leonard.
CARNIVOROUS PLANT ROOAAR.
LEONARD (intimidated) Can we talk about that?
The carnivorous plant swallows Leonard, chews him, makes a disgusted face, and spits him out. After that the plant detaches from the ground and runs away. The scene then shows Leonard chewed and bruised on the side of the bowl.
LEONARD (bruised, with a bump on his head) aND tHeN tHEy ThiNk IT's wEiRd thAT i wAnT To kiLL pLaNTs
Leonard then gets up, enraged, looking at the bowl.
LEONARD The heck? Why didn't it work? Did I put something wrong?
Leonard looks at the chemicals and sees the liquid fertilizer can he accidentally put.
LEONARD Oh. So it was this! (shouting) GO AWAY STUPID THING!
Leonard throws the can of liquid fertilizer away, the can falls on top of the lawn mower, activating it. The mower starts to walk across the lawn, shaking and making the can drop liquid fertilizer all over the garden. Everywhere, carnivorous plants start to grow and look at Leonard.
LEONARD How the heck there are so many carnivorous plants here?
Leonard prepares to run away, but the lawn mower passes over him, cutting him all up. After that, all the giant carnivorous plants start attacking Leonard, who screams loudly, after a while, the plants come off the ground and run away, leaving Leonard completely butchered on the ground. Leonard gets up furious and in an impulsive action, without thinking, kicks the bowl with the mixture away.
LEONARD (sad and worried) I feel that this was a mistake.
The bowl falls on an apple tree, and makes it and its apples become giant.
LEONARD Woah!
Leonard comes closer to the giant apple tree, which has the bowl that Leonard kicked at the top.
LEONARD (looking up) That's all I needed! How am I going to get this stupid bowl from this dumb tree.
Leonard kicks the tree in anger.
LEONARD (with his foot hurting) MY FOOT!
Leonard begins to hold one of his feet in pain while he bounces in circles with the other, the bowl at the top of the tree then falls on him.
LEONARD (bruised under the bowl) My FoOt, hEaD, SHoUldERs, EarS, And EveRYthiNG eLsE…
One of the giant apples fell from the tree, crushing the bowl and Leonard.
LEONARD (bruised under the bowl and the giant apple) Ok, I wiLL TRy sOMetHinG siMpLe…
The screen closes and the scene changes to Leonard using the lawn mower to mow the lawn.
LEONARD (sarcastically) Oh really, narrator? You're so smart aren't you.
And then a ship-
LEONARD NONONONO! SORRY, SORRY!
Yeah, continuing. Leonard is mowing the lawn quietly, until an elderly neighbor appears at the garden fence.
NEIGHBOR Are you the new gardener?
LEONARD (mentally) Oh my tree, is everyone in here a Captain Obvious?
Leonard still walking with the lawn mower looks at the neighbor.
LEONARD (sarcastically) No, I'm a thief, but I only steal houses with nice gardens, so I'm fixing this one to steal it later.
The neighbor understands the sarcasm and makes an annoyed face.
NEIGHBOR Well, this garden is so badly cut that it ACTUALLY looks like you're vandalizing it. I mean, I bet you don't even know anything about plants.
Shocked, Leonard takes his hands off the lawn mower still on and goes in front of the neighbor.
LEONARD (angry and shocked) What? Are you looking at me? I AM a plant! AND I AM LEONARD THE LEAF, I understand everything and anything!
NEIGHBOR Okay, so tell me. (pointing to a random direction in the garden that Leonard is in) From what family that plant is?
LEONARD Is from the owner of this house's family, which by the way is called House Owner, weird name, right?
NEIGHBOR Well, my name is Neighbor so I don't judge. ANYWAYS, DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT! (pointing in a random direction) What plant is that?
LEONARD Hmm. Well, I only know the scientific name, it's a Mammillaria?
Out of nowhere Philip, Joseph and Chris appear on Leonard's side.
PHILIP HEY!
LEONARD AND NEIGHBOR AAAAH!
PHILIP Leo! This show is supposed to be family friendly!
LEONARD W-what the heck are doing here? You already had a story!
PHILIP We are preventing you from contaminating readers' minds with foul words.
LEONARD These are plants names.
PHILIP Yeah, right, nice excuse.
Leonard looks at the camera annoyed, he then puts Philip, Chris and Joseph in a box and kicks the three away.
LEONARD (looking at the neighbor) So, I got the name of the plant right, are you convinced?
NEIGHBOR Hmm, okay, (pointing to a random direction) but, what's that one?
LEONARD Um… a Bifora testiculata!
Out of nowhere Philip, Joseph and Chris appear on Leonard's side again.
LEONARD AND NEIGHBOR AAAAHH!
LEONARD AGAIN?
PHILIP That's what the narrator said.
True.
CHRIS Leo, are you going to stop or not?
LEONARD (annoyed) THESE ARE PLANT NAMES!
Leonard takes a bucket, shoves the trio into the bucket, turns around and throws it away.
LEONARD (looking angrily to the neighbor) ARE YOU CONVINCED OR NOT? IDIOT!
NEIGHBOR Not yet.
LEONARD For the love of the tree, okay, gimme another question, THE LAST QUESTION.
NEIGHBOR Now say the name of (pointing to random direction), that one!
LEONARD A Pinus rigida.
Out of nowhere Philip, Joseph and Chris appear on Leonard's side again, this time, Joseph is holding a giant hammer.
LEONARD AND NEIGHBOR AAAHH!
LEONARD (furious) WHAT IS IT?
JOSEPH We warned you.
Joseph smashes Leonard with the giant hammer.
LEONARDO (crushed and bruised) $#&@
PHILIP (looking at Chris and Joseph) Sailor mouth, huh?
Joseph and Chris nod yes to Philip, after that, the trio leaves jumping away. Leonard gets up furiously and looks at the old neighbor.
LEONARD ANY OTHER QUESTIONS, SON OF A...
The lawn mower Leonard let go and left on before comes back and runs him over. Out of nowhere, Philip, Chris and Joseph appear on the side of Leonard, who is all cut up on the ground.
PHILIP Son of a what?
LEONARD (cut on the ground) Don't you dare.
NEIGHBOR No more questions, you really do know a lot about plants, huh?
LEONARD (cut on the floor) Of course, I'm the great Leonard the…
The lawn mower runs over Leonard again, making him even more cut up.
LEONARD LeAF.
The screen closes and the scene changes to Leonard on the side of another bowl, with the same chemicals as before.
LEONARD I knew I shouldn't have given up on the first idea just because of a silly mistake, I am a genius, I will never doubt myself again.
Leonard takes a can of herbicide.
LEONARD THIS TIME, I AM SURE THAT I PUT THE FREAKING RIGHT BOTTLE!
Leonard puts the herbicide in the cleaning product mix and mixes everything.
LEONARD (mixing) Yes, perfect, FINALLY.
Leonard starts to throw his mixture everywhere, and where he throws it, the grass dies. While he does this, the owner of the house leaves the house to check how everything is going.
HOUSE OWNER So, Leonard, I came to see how you are… MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?
The lady sees her lawn in a horrible state because of all the things that happened.
HOUSE OWNER (shocked) ARE YOU KILLING THE GRASS? I JUST WANTED YOU TO CUT IT! AND WHAT'S THAT GIANT APPLE DOING THERE? AND WHY SO MANY HOLES IN THE GROUND? AND WHY THERE'S A GIANT HAMMER HERE?
LEONARD Calm down, calm down, I can explain! I'm killing the grass because it's smarter than mowing it now and having to mow it again later, the giant apple is because I made a magic mixture that made things grow in size, the holes were made by giant carnivorous plants that came out of the ground and attacked me, and the giant hammer is from a boy who magically appeared here with his 2 friends and crushed me with it.
The woman looks at Leonard in disbelief.
LEONARD It's true.
The woman kicks Leonard off her lawn, and he flies away until falling into a trash can. He then takes a piece of paper and a pencil and erases "gardener" off a list of possible jobs.
LEONARD Meh, I was too good for gardener anyways.
Leo looks at the camera angrily, the screen closes and the episode ends.
-------------------------------------------------- ------- TODAY'S POEM
And now the curtains open, and it shows in the scene, Philip, Chris and Joseph, who are looking at the screen.
PHILIP It's time for today's poem, and now for your delight!
CHRIS We're gonna read a poem, DUH, kinda obvious, am I right?
Joseph takes a paper, with the poem of the day, and now we all wonder, what will this fool say?
JOSEPH HEY!!!
PHILIP Yo, come on Joe, no delay!
CHRIS Yeah, otherwise, boss won't pay.
Joseph calms down and with a look of concentration, he start to read it, with no hesitation.
JOSEPH Mary had a little lamb So she put it in a pan And ate it with jam I dunno why she would do this, man But if she can do it, you also can
CHRIS And that was today's poem.
PHILIP Now, SCRAM!
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writeontimey · 4 years
Text
WoT - Would you read it for Chris' snack? // PILOT
Today we have, Food Follies, the pilot of Write on Time.
The scene starts showing a grassy field with only one tree, in this tree we can see a small bird house hanging from a branch, that's the Tricky Trio's house, the scene starts to show the inside of the house, where Joseph and Philip are playing a card game called "The Game".
Philip: JUST PLAY!
Joseph: I'm thinking! T-INK-IN-G, now wait, will ya?
Philip: Ngh, don't think so you don't hurt your head.
Philip gets up, stands next to Joseph, and starts to see his cards.
Philip: If I were you I would play this one.
Joseph: Ok.
Joseph plays the card chosen by Philip.
Philip: Hey, how did you make such a good play?
Joseph: Secret.
Philip: Cool, 'cuz I WIN!
Philip plays all his cards and wins the game, he laughs while Joseph looks at him annoyed, Joseph then looks at the camera.
Joseph: Skilled isn't he?
Joseph goes back to looking at Philip.
Joseph: Let's play again.
Chris (offscreen): AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Joseph and Philip get scared and look at each other for a second, the scene then changes to Chris, sitting on a couch, Joseph and Philip jump out of the throw pillows and look at Chris.
Joseph and Philip: WHAT?
Chris: It's horrible, deplorable, unignorable... it rhymed... BUT IT'S HORRIBLE!
Joseph and Philip: WHAT?
Chris: Somebody ate my SNACK!
Joseph and Philip: IMPOSSIBLE!
Chris (crying): Possible! WAAAAAH! Help me!
Philip: Of course, we'll help! I investigated a familiar case before, mine was a turkey sandwich, I loved it, seeing it dead was the most shocking scene I have seen in 17 years being a detective.
Joseph: What was the second most shocking?
Philip: This one.
Philip gets closer to Chris.
Philip: Don't worry, the great detectives are here.
A very detective like intro happens, with the first scene showing Philip walking in circles following his own trail of footprints, and the second scene showing Joseph holding a magnifying glass analyzing things, but accidentally looking at the Sun and burning his eyes.
Philip: Firstly!
Philip gives a stylish entrance by spinning his way to Chris and putting a pipe in his mouth.
Philip: Explain what happeneEE COUGH COUGH COUGH!
Philip throws the pipe away.
Philip: What COUGH COUGH, happened COUGH.
Chris: My snack was eaten.
Philip: Can you give a more detailed explanation?
Chris: Sure, my snack, wich is a quick meal between lunch and dinner was ingested and it's probably being digested and soon will become...
Joseph: TOO MANY DETAILS!
Philip: What were you doing when the snack was stolen?
Chris: I was on TikTok thinking about how JungKook is pretty.
Philip: Yes, and how did you find out it was stolen?
Chris: I went to the microwave, where I kept the snack, and then, I SAW... I SAW THE SCENE... ONLY CRUMBS AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.
Chris: By the way, "GREAT DETECTIVES"... how can I know that YOU weren't the ones who ate it? BUNCH OF MUGGERS!
Philip: ARE YOU CALLING ME THIEF?
Chris: No! Just criminal, evildoer, crook and outlaw.
Philip: Oh alright, BUT IT WASN'T ME!
Joseph: Me neither.
Chris: Where were YOU at the time of the crime?
Philip and Joseph: Playing The Game.
Chris: Hmmmm, ok, nothing strange there, for now! Oh, when I find out who was responsible for this, I will equalize their face!
Philip: Let's go to the microwave to analyze the crumbs, there may be a clue there.
Everyone runs to the kitchen, and Joseph starts pointing somewhere.
Joseph: LOOK! ONE CLUE!
Chris: Where is it? Where is it?
Joseph shows a cellphone with the app "One Clue Crossword" showing.
Chris: Are you trying to die?
Philip pushes the two, and goes to the microwave.
Philip: I'm serious, people! Hmm, let me see these crumbs here.
The scene shows a very cliché detective sequence with Philip analyzing everything, putting crumbs in scientist tubes, tasting them, even hacking them with a computer. The scene then changes to Joseph and Chris standing in the middle of the kitchen looking at Philip.
Joseph: What a show off, isn't he?
Chris just nods positively. After that, Philip jumps in front of them.
Philip: Well friends.
Chris: WHAT? WHO WAS IT? SAY IT! SAY IT IMMEDIATELY! AM I DYING? DO I HAVE CHANCES TO LIVE DOCTOR?
Philip: Well, analyzing the situation a little and testing the texture and taste of the remaining crumbs, I come to the conclusion that yes, it was definitely a snack.
Chris e Joseph: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Philip: I also found a sign saying "William was here."
Chris: WILLIAM!
The scene changes to William sitting on another couch from the house, watching TV, out of nowhere a long, macabre hand slowly comes out of the TV, when it touches William, the TV starts screaming and Philip, Joseph and a furious Chris jump out of it and fall on the couch.
Joseph, Chris and Philip: IT WAS YOU!
William: I'M JUST GETTING OUT OF HERE WITH MY LAWYER! I'LL ONLY SAY SOMETHING WITH A MANDATE!
Chris: It was you, wasn't it? You ate my snack!
William: Did I? I don't remember.
Chris: Oh, so you're going to make a fool of yourself now, right? PHILIP INTERROGATE HIM!
Philip stands in front of William
Philip: Let's go! Helper, hold him.
Joseph's arms start to stretch and tie William to the couch.
Philip: A crime occurred here recently, one of the clues led us to you.
William: What crime? What clue?
Joseph slaps William in the face.
Joseph: We are the ones who ask the questions here!
William: Ok... then ask.
Joseph: Uuuuhhh, are you to blame?
William: For what?
Joseph slaps William in the face again.
Joseph: I SAID THAT WE ARE THE ONES WHO ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE.
Philip: The crime is a snack theft, the clue was a sign saying "William was here."
William: Ah, well, I'm having some amnesia attacks recently so I am leaving these signs all over the house to remind myself of where I have been.
Joseph: That's the most lame excuse I've ever heard.
Philip, Chris and Joseph: It must be true.
Philip: So, sir, have you heard anything recently that might be suspicious?
William: Well... I have amnesia so I have no idea.
Philip, Chris and Joseph look with a bored expression to each other and leave, the scene changes to them talking in private.
Philip: Okay, so it wasn't him.
Chris: But what if he is lying?
Joseph: Makes sense, Chris, I read in a book that the culprit is always the first person interrogated.
Philip: Yes, but we don't want that OLD AND PAST CLICHÉ on our show, do we?
Philip and Chris look at the camera and then at Joseph with a sarcastic look.
Joseph: Okay!
Philip: Hmmm, I already know who we can interrogate next!
The scene changes to a close up on William with an angry expresion on his face, the screen then shows Chris, Joseph and Philip around him.
William: Why do you want to interrogate me again?
Philip: We don't know who we can interrogate next!
William: Why don't you go, like, I don't know, to the place where she bought the snack?
Philip: Hey hey hey, shhh, I'm the detective here!
Philip turns to Chris and Joseph and says.
Philip: Guys, let's investigate the place...
William: GO AWAY!!!!
The scene changes to a restaurant called McRat. Philip, Chris and Joseph are in front of it.
Philip (narrating): McRat, normally a nice, happy place, but today, it was a dark place, because all the lights we're out.
Joseph: Are you narrating?
Philip: Yeah! Super cool!
Philip (narrating): We entered McRat, there was nobody inside it today, probably because it was already closed and we broke in to get in there.
Employee: GET OUT OF HERE NOW! I SAID WE'RE CLOSED!
Philip: Helper, hold him!
Joseph grabs an refrigerator, puts the employee inside it and closes the door, he then wait 3 seconds and opens the door, showing the employee inside a giant block of ice only with his head free.
Philip: We want to ask you a few questions.
Employee: Ugh, ok, yes, the CheeseRat is made of rats, yes, they are sewage rats, but they are washed, they are clean...
Joseph: TOO MANY DETAILS!
Chris: I came here and bought a Fried Vole earlier.
Employee: Well, those are worse, they are made with...
Joseph: NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOUR SNACKS ARE MADE.
Employee: Good, because I REALLY didn't want to explain about the Chicken Sushi... I'll just say one thing, it's not chicken.
Joseph looks at the camera and at the Employee with a sad expression.
Joseph: I'm glad I don't eat here.
Philip: Okay, okay, enough talk, did you see someone strange here recently?
The employee takes a good look at the trio, who are making weird faces.
Employment: Yes.
Philip: ...
Philip: Alright! We're going, come on, helper, let him go.
Joseph hits the ice with a hammer and chisel, breaking everything. They go to the outside of the restaurant and sit on the sidewalk.
Philip: Let's interrogate some more people.
Chris: I know someone we can interrogate.
The scene changes to the Big Bad Wolf, hidden in a bush in the middle of a forest, watching a Little Red Riding Hood pass by.
Big Bad Wolf: Hmm, picnic basket, snack time.
Out of nowhere Joseph, Philip and Chris appear.
Joseph, Philip and Chris: STOP!
Big Bad Wolf: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?
Philip: Well, you know, mom loved dad a lot and...
Joseph: TOO MANY DETAILS!
Joseph comes closer to the wolf's ear.
Joseph: I came from a scientific experiment.
Big Bad Wolf: What do you want here?
Chris: YOU ATE MY SNACK DIDN'T YA?
Big Bad Wolf: What? What snack?
Joseph slaps the wolf.
Joseph: Another one who likes to ask.
Chris: You know what snack! We know you're a glutton, tried to eat 3 pigs and even ate an old lady once.
Philip: Chris! This show was supposed to be family friendly.
Joseph: Yeah right, look who's speaking, "Mr. Daddy Loved Mommy Guy".
Philip: Mine was a valid example.
Big Bad Wolf: LISTEN! I didn't eat any snacks, in fact, if you read my stories you can see that I always fail to eat anything.
Chris: Go on..
Big Bad Wolf: But I know someone who is rude enough to eat other people's food without asking.
Joseph, Philip and Chris: Who?
The scene changes to Goldilocks analyzing the bears' porridges.
Goldilocks: Too hot, too cold, perfect!
Joseph, Philip and Chris appear out of nowhere.
Joseph, Philip and Chris: STOP!
Goldilocks chokes on the porridge and spits it all over her face.
Goldilocks: AAAAAH, COUGH, COUGH, WHAT? WHAT?
Chris: So you like to eat things without permission, right! Did you eat my snack?
Goldilocks: No! No! I swear! I don't even know you! But... I know someone who likes snacks.
A montage with the trio interrogating other characters starts, firstly with them talking with Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, then Garfield, then Hansel and Gretel. The scene then changes to the tired trio seated in a couch in their house.
Philip: Who we still need to interrogate?
Joseph: Goku, Naruto, Greedy Smurf.
Philip (excited): Ooooh, did you say Naruto?
Chris: Oh, forget it, we'll never find out who ate my snack, let's just leave it behind.
Chris walks out and Joseph follows her.
Philip (mentally): Hmm, wait... behind?
A light bulb suddenly appears on Philip's head and he has an idea.
Philip: I GOT IT!
The scene then shows all previously interrogated characters and the trio in a room, Philip is standing in front of everyone while the rest is sitting in chairs.
Philip: Now, you must be wondering why I called you all here.
Joseph: We are not, smart guy, it is literally the plot of the whole episode.
Big Bad Wolf: And why do we need to be phere? We don't care about a stupid snack.
Philip: You are here because we need more people to play Among Us.
All previously interrogated people leave the room, only leaving the trio.
Philip: Rude people.
Chris: WHO STOLE MY SNACK!
Philip: Well, Chris, I was in doubt, but after you said "leave it behind" I remembered something! Who is the only person who can be everywhere at the same time, and is the only person who in all cartoons, comic strips, films and everywhere never eats?
Chris: Me.
Philip: The cameraman.
Chris and Joseph: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, what?
Chris: This is a text, we don't have a cameraman.
Philip: But here we have a NARRATOR!
Chris and Joseph: AAAAAAAAAHHHH.
What? How can he...
Philip: COME ON NARRATOR! I CAN SEE YOUR TEXT! ACTUALLY SHOW YOURSELF!
Narrator: What?
Philip: Admit it, before the episode started you saw the snack and decided to eat it.
Narrator: O-Of course not.
Chris: IT WAS YOU! I WILL EXTERMINATE YOU!
Narrator: Of course it wasn't me, I was... I... I was! I WAS!
Philip: You can't fool me, Narrator.
Narrator: Grrr, ALRIGHT, IT WAS ME! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
Chris: No! We still have to find out who you really are.
Grr alright... I, the narrator, materialize myself in front of Chris, Joseph and Philip.
William: Here.
Chris, Joseph and Philip: William?
Philip: Wait, William, are you a narrator?
William: Just for this pilot, the normal narrator is sick today.
Joseph: The guy missed the first day at work.
Chris: It doesn't matter, TIME TO DIE, FOR MY SNACK!
Chris starts to fight with William like crazy, a cartoon fight cloud appears and they start to move around the room fighting! The scene changes to Joseph and Philip.
Philip: So wait, my logic was wrong! If the original narrator were working today, William wouldn't be caught.
Joseph: Well duuh, who puts together a random phrase and thinks that would solve a whole case that easily?
Philip: It works in the movies.
Joseph: Well, at least MY logic was right! I told ya it's always the first person to be interrogated, didn't I?
Philip looks angrily at Joseph and then at the screen, and shows a sign saying "Cliché ending, isn't it?"
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