xiafeng

[xiafeng]

Chasms

I'm a gaping canyon, and you're tripping on the slightest incline. I have been cut and weathered by the passage of time and digestion of my surroundings, and you merely run your fingers along the edges. Your fingers forget the depth of the chips and the curve of the cracks just as quickly as they encounter them.

Oh, how I yearn to be dived into. That leap of faith, eyes closed as every crevice is not only eagerly explored, but meticulously mapped and taken note of. To go where none have gone before, with passionate drive and curiosity. I have a lot to offer. If only it were to be appreciated.

My rivers have run dry long ago.

I fear I crumble at the touch.

[xiafeng]

“You can only give your heart away once - after that, you give as much as you have left…”

— John Geddes

[xiafeng]

[xiafeng]

I have thousand things to say to you and a thousand reasons not to.

[xiafeng]

“I don’t hold on to anything anymore. Pain comes at me and I take it, chew it for a few minutes, and spit it back out. It’s just not my thing anymore.”

— Dave Eggers, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

[xiafeng]

[xiafeng]

When people fall in love with someone's flowers but not their roots, they don't know what to do when autumn comes.

— Anonymous

[xiafeng]

You were one of a kind.

[xiafeng]

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

[xiafeng]

i ruin everything i touch, but selfishly i keep touching, hoping something will be different.

[xiafeng]

is fighting for me not worth it?

is trying for me not worth it?

is just talking to me not worth it?

am i not worth it?

[xiafeng]

messy embroidery eh

[xiafeng]

“Youll understand why storms are named after people.”

— Unknown

[xiafeng]

[xiafeng]

“I have a skull thick enough to take on the world but my toughest enemies are not external, they’re inside my skull and they like to fucking dance right before my sleep.”

— Daniel Saint

[xiafeng]

“There are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept; things we don’t want to know but have to learn; and people we can’t live without but have to let go.”

— Jennifer Jareau

[xiafeng]

Sylvia Plath, aged 29, in a letter to Olive Higgins Prouty, her mentor & benefactress, 2 months after discovering her husband's infidelity (dated Saturday, 29 September 1962)

[Ted Hughes (aged 32) - her husband, who was having an affair with a married woman, Assia Wevill (aged 35), who rented their London flat; Sylvia was living with their children at Court Green, their house in Devon]