yourejoking - Tumblr blog

[yourejoking]

that feeling when you realize you no longer have grandparents...and your parents no longer have parents...

[yourejoking]

I walk into the bathroom... me: " did you toot?" eric: "what's a toot?" me: look of confusion while scrunching my nose trying to block out the smell... eric: "well, I bent down, I farted, and now I'm flossing my teeth." me: "so yes...you tooted...."

[yourejoking]

me: what are we going to do until we can check in??

eric: go to the Clinton observatory...

me: you mean the Griffith observatory?...

(didn't you know one of los angeles' history sites is the clinton observatory?!)

[yourejoking]

keyed up

today, i had one of the happiest days of my life…witnessing the birth of my niece.  granted this was not my first live birth, i was blessed enough to be there for brecken’s birth.  it’s such a surreal experience to witness a new life coming into this world…no matter how tired or any emotion you were feeling prior to those minutes leading up to it, they are trumped and you're filled with pure joy.

that is until you go to leave the hospital and you realize you can’t find your car keys…looking back i recall getting out of my car with a boxed filled with drinks and cheeseburgers from juicy’s and throwing my keys in the box after locking the car in the parking garage.  then realizing said box was taken by the nursing staff to be thrown away…with your keys in it.  

i rushed back up to post-pardon desperately searching for the ais’ nurse.  i find her quickly and she knows exactly the box i am speaking off, immediately checking the area where they store food trays for pickup.  said box is gone…this is a fucking joke right?!

bless marcie’s sweet nurse heart, she calls every person and every supervisor in attempt to find my keys…with no luck.  all i can think of is how, yes i have a spare key in eric’s office, but i don’t have a spare remote because it broke last month.  and i really, really don’t want to spend another $350 to buy a new spare, yes another because my ex douche, i mean husband lost the previous one.  and with a full days worth of emotions already up my sleeve, i was on the verge of tears and bitchily snapping at eric.  

on one last hope of finding the keys, we empty every bag in the room…low and behold the fuckers fall out of a sweatshirt i packed because i was freezing earlier.  feeling like a complete jack ass for causing marcie to call practically the entire hospital to find my keys, at the same time i am elated and relieved…quickly sending a much deserved apology text for my snottiness to eric.

and with a jingle of keys, my mood switches back to unconditional joy and love…and my life is back together!

[yourejoking]

dear july, 

you are kicking my ass...vacay can not come soon enough. t-minus 6 days until i’m relaxing on newport beach... and it can not come soon enough.

[yourejoking]

I'm thirsty...I'm going to get a beer #winewalk #stephs30th #lifewitheric

[yourejoking]

you know it's love when he asks you to listen to his falsetto, while singing in the car to maroon 5...

[yourejoking]

sorry guys, I got hungry while you were gone so I moved the chair that was blocking the pantry door and busted the baby lock you also thought would keep me out. but hey, I only ate 1/4 of the box of Cheerios and 6 packages of beef jerky...I saved 2 for dad... oh I also ate your Vaseline... #lifewithtinka

[yourejoking]

pain in the neck

e: will you put an elbow in my neck?

k: do i have a choice??

e: well yea...

k: no i don't...you'll just say

e: just for a second, please?

k: exactly. the only way i can get out of it, is by starting a fight and going downstairs. but then you'll probably follow me cause you're a weirdo

e: well, i'm a persistent weirdo

realizing that i am not getting out of putting an elbow in eric's neck, which is followed by an elbow in the hip and back, i get in position to throw out a bow.

e: be careful! it's a neck!

really?! i know it's a neck...

[yourejoking]

getting it together

so i have not blogged in a few months…i think the main problem would be i live a life that involves a man, yes, but his two younger kids…yes, we have our ups and downs, and at times very hilarious moments that are quit blog worthy.  i just never felt comfortable throwing the lives of others, younger others at that, out onto the web.  so with no names disclosed, initials only, and no ill will intended…let the renewed blog begin!!

[yourejoking]

"some people have to eat, and I’m one of those people." eric @ 1:30 am after a night out in Arizona…apparently he needs enchilada casserole…

[yourejoking]

getting it together

so I have not blogged in a few months... I think the main problem would be I live a life that involves a man, yes, but his two younger kids...yes we have our ups and downs, and at times very hilarious moments that are quit blog worthy. I just never felt comfortable throwing the lives of others, younger others at that, out onto the web. so with no names disclosed, initials only, and no ill will intended...let the renewed blog begin!!

[yourejoking]

four eyes...

i got glasses when i was 9 years old.  that means i have been wearing glasses/contacts for about 22 years.  and pretty much everyday for the last 22 years i have mentally complained what a pain in the ass it is that i can't see shit.  well...that's all about to change.

tomorrow i am taking the leap and getting lasik.  i got to say that i am honestly having mixed emotions.  i mean yes, i will have 20/20 vision when i wake up in the morning and will be able to go swimming without having to worry about a contact popping out.  but i will no longer be able to wear glasses when i don't feel like wearing makeup or feel like being intellectual. perhaps it's because i have been wearing my glasses for the last 6 weeks but i'm honestly going to miss these little guys.

[yourejoking]

i'm moving in with a boy

ok so eric probably doesn't qualify as a boy anymore, but i still get that giddy feeling every time i think about it.  which, i know, i shouldn't be experiencing since i lived with my ex-husband for 4 years.  but this time feels different...

this time, it's not because i'm engaged, got a dog or getting married.  not because it's more convenient or the easiest choice.  it's because i genuinely just want to wake up and fall asleep everyday with this man.  

as with all new adventures, i will definitely be dealing with some new experiences.  the main one being that living in with eric means living with a 12 and 9 year old half of the time.  that one's sure to bring some exciting new tales...

we get the keys tomorrow and i can hardly wait to see what this chapter has to bring!

[yourejoking]

they say it comes in three's...

and three's it does.

i have had the randomest week dealing with others heath problems.  and i am not just saying that because i work in healthcare and handle the senior population on a daily basis...

1) my mom gets a brain hemorrhage...aka her brain is bleeding.  i can say this so casually because she is fine and at home now.  this was probably the scariest moment in my life.  but i also learned how strong i am capable of being, even in the worst situation.

2) eric has a hernia...whilst my mom is spending her 3rd day in ICU, eric wakes up at 3:30 in the morning (meaning i also wake up)due to the pain radiating in his side.  thinking he has appendicitis, he goes to urgent care, which i can't accompany him due to a mandatory CPR.  thankfully it's just a hernia that hasn't popped out yet.  yet being the key word.  he has an appointment with a general surgeon next week.  fan-fucking-tastic.

3) and here's the kicker...the following evening, while returning home from a relaxing session in eric's parent's hot tub, we enter the gates only to find a minivan that is "parked" between a tree and a bush in the center rock median.  to make a long story short, the man driving said minivan is wheelchair bond and when his minivan reversed to quickly, he rolled out of his wheelchair and his car rolling into a tree.  cut to eric (who is not allow to lift heavy objects b/c of his hernia) and i (now in a bikini b/c my towel is hindering) lifting this helpless 150 pound man, that slightly smells of booze and weed, back into his wheelchair.  allowing him to safely drive away, out of the gates.

all i can say is i hope that's it for awhile.  because i don't know how much more i can handle without snapping...

[yourejoking]

"but i'm only human and i bleed when i fall down i'm only human i crash and i break down" -cp never has this quote meant so much... i've been reminded that we are only human, and to not take any moment for granted...

[yourejoking]

get ready bitches!! one more week... #rexsbachellorette #bongthatbeerbitch