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TW - Dysphoria

First off, mega credit to @biblicallyaccuratemoth for creating the Dysphoria Demon. They're a wonderful character and if you haven't read Mina's stuff you absolutely should.

Dysphoria can strike in a lot of different ways, and while I do get the occasional pang of feeling "less than" in one physical aspect or another, the demon of my transition so far has almost exclusively been doubt.

Not doubt over me being trans, but doubt over whether going through with my transition was the right call to make.

99% of everything has been an absolute joy.

...but the 1% that isn't has been incredibly painful. So painful that there are times it makes me wonder if I should have stayed in the closet.

My message to you is this: doubt is going to be a specter looming over every decision you make, but it's ok to doubt.

It's good to doubt.

Doubting means you're giving something careful consideration. Doubting means you're not making a decision just to make a decision.

I'm glad I have doubts; every time I do and reflect on them, I come to the same conclusion:

Coming out and beginning my transition is hands down one of the best decisions I've ever made, and I'd make it again and again.

much love <3

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My Dysmorphoria Monster, twisted together over years of not knowing why i didn't like my own body, unable to be separated now but I'm not gonna let them win, they are playing my game now!

this is my take on my own Dysphoria Demon as created by @biblicallyaccuratemoth

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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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people talk about how showing someone your boyvoice is really special and intimate but i think the opposite is also deserving of a lot of reverence and care and tact. when a girl who has a flat lower voice tries out her training voice around you that shit is so vulnerable and so special. that is her exploring who she could be and giving you a sneak peak of her beautiful future

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what’d she mean by that 🤔 missed the vtmb vampire lesbians so

pandora (girl with beanie) belongs to @napelf

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Haven't been active much in terms of posting, i just draw on my own little bubble and get close to forgetting i have accounts i can archive my works in cybernetics is pretty cool, no? i've lately been drawing smiles, they make me happy

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ok so i drew marie in the patric bikimi..

alt (separat hehoo!!!!

i fixed callies a bit waugh!!!!!!

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I don't have any smart comments, I just missed drawing them

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trans daughter who lives with her widower dad who’s forced to watch her slowly morph into his dead wife.

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I'm taking a break from streaming for the next 3 weeks, taking my first vacation in several years. Since that's my only source of income, if you'd like to help cover my food and living expenses in the meantime, this is the donation link. Thank you.

https://ko-fi.com/demilypyro

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Franziska strikes me as the type to enjoy headpats and praise

Patreon | Shop | Newsletter

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Anti-cop poster spotted in Seattle

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when the subject of "why do people believe things that are seriously wrong and harmful" comes up it feels like you kinda hear one of two perspectives:

"oh, that's easy! it's because they're fundamentally Bad people who want to hurt others and choose their beliefs to justify that! :) hope this helps"

or

"they just don't have access to the same information we do. look at this person who was raised in a cult! don't you feel sorry for her?"

and like, yes, fine, some people were in fact raised in cults, but what i wish people would understand is that the bulk of it is just normal human flaws, like:

they want to believe stuff that makes them feel smart and cool and like they've figured everything out (you also do this)

they want to believe stuff that makes them feel like their emotions are justified and grounded in reality, and that the people they want to hurt deserve to be hurt (you also do this)

they form conclusions before they've processed all the relevant information, and cling to that first impression even when new info comes to light (you also do this)

they pick up beliefs from the people around them because they want to be liked and fit in, not because the beliefs are good or true (you also do this)

they come up with reasons that the stuff that benefits them (and the people they like and identify with) is actually overwhelmingly best for everyone and obviously the right thing to do (you also do this)

they pay more attention to stuff that supports what they already believe and avoid looking in places that might show them otherwise (you also do this)

they listen to people who talk like 'one of them' and ignore others (you also do this)

they come up with reasons to dismiss people with conflicting viewpoints as obviously in bad faith or ignorant or a shill or evil (you also do this)

they fail to take their own beliefs seriously sometimes, and take their beliefs way too seriously other times, in a selective way that lets them do the things they already wanted to do (you also do this)

the very ways they construct the ideas of 'knowledge' and 'wisdom' and 'belief' and 'understanding' are biased so that what they don't want to believe comes under lots of scrutiny and what they do want to believe receives less (you also do this)

you, dear reader, are presumably right about everything and were correct to die on every hill you've ever died on, but the difference between you and someone who's wrong about important stuff doesn't look like "well they're inherently evil and i'm not", it probably looks like a combination of:

natural environment (they would have been exposed to different information than you regardless of their choices)

being in the right place at the right time (your particular profile of flaws and virtues happened to be what was needed to lead you to the right conclusions, they had the opposite experience)

random luck (you doubled down on what felt right to believe but wasn't, but it turned out to be inconsequential, or even right for different reasons, while they doubled down on what turned out to be a horrible mistake distorting their entire worldview)

you do less of the things in the previous list, and over time the difference between you and them adds up

and, look, i also do these things. the nicest and most thoughtful people i've ever met do these things. if you meet someone who never does any of these things, i dunno, give them a fucking medal or something.

i know you're doing your best. we're all doing our best.

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art i did of Tea Gardner and Catapult Turtle from yugioh =)