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so how hard are u able to pull someones hair??

I can give someone a perfect tonsure with a single flourish like some1 pulling a tablecloth

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Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

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im dizzy from laughing at this image

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if oda won't draw women in suits, i will (comm for @\yanghinataboke , thank you!)

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😺

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to this day possibly one of my best ideas. someone get me a pitch meeting with the hallmark channel

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I just wanna know how the mechanisms in universe decided to perform their origin stories especially when it’s probably some of their deepest traumas. Cause like I can see Two options going down. Either it was it like let’s all have a slumber party and talk abt trauma and reenact it it’ll be healthy i prommy. Or it was it like Jonny I’m sharing this tragic backstory with you in confidence and then they walk in the next day to whatever room everyone is in and Jonny likes ok everybody from the top one two three (evil voice) IM THE GUY THAT KILLED MY FRIEND

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this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve seen in weeks. love wins 🫶

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seeing the online reactions to Superman (2025) has been, frankly, as much of a delight as the film itself. it's been days and i don't think i've seen a single hate comment without it being immediately followed up by a picture of a monkey typing

the only negative reviews this film has received thus far are all coming from a) zionists b) alpha male tech bros - which are quite literally the two main villains of the story, so the jokes write themselves at this point

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Finally got around to doing some redraws of THE BEST lower decks episode!!!! No I am not biased

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Bring your kid to work with the cross guild

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aaugh i hate citing sources *excruciatingly loud sounds of tearing metal combined with tortured human screams and fleshy hitting noises* ok that wasn't so bad actually..

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some of y'all fundamentally misunderstand my favorite characters but im being sooooo normal and mature about it. i haven't even killed anyone yet