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zinzinina · 2 months

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I’m not around here so much anymore these days, so to see a surprise post like this honestly is just incomprehensible in the best possible way. I am genuinely so touched reading your thoughts and reactions, and getting to revisit this story through your eyes made me remember all the things I loved about writing it. Thank you so, so much x

back on my captain rex clone wars bullshit

I happened to come across ONE captain rex fanart on my twt and for a short period of time I am once again salivating on the hour for rex o captain my captain

have you ever read something so good every so often something just reminds you of it from time to time and then WHAM you are back deep in your hyperfixation???? no??? only me???? kk

this fic is basically what got me into the sex pollen of it all but also I cannot explain how perfect it is as a 'love at first sight, but duty restrains me from pursuit' fic (also freaked out completely seeing she has alternate POV shortfics of this story too)

im neck deep in a different fandom rn but I kind of wanna say regardless (though the STW lore touches are just *CHEFS KISS*) this is so well-written i truly believe anyone who loves love stories would enjoy this??? idk give it a go <3

(also yes I know I use *chef's kiss* liberally but I am buying lipgloss in bulk to try and properly convey my love for fanfic *re-applying gloss as we speak to get back into the commentin trenches*) shoutout to rare beauty and milk makeup lip oils, my current faves

Reading: Hierarchy of Needs by @zinzinina

His answering laugh is a crackle of static through the helmet, and you nurse a tiny seed of triumph at the sound.

- getting ur crush to react/laugh at something is like more addictive and powerful than cocaine, scientific fact

Frustrated, he yanks his helmet off, peering inside. You can hear the roar of static even from your position several feet away. “That’s a negative, sir. Comms are jammed.”

- i am also weak for these battle-hardened clone troopers calling their jedi f!commanders “sir”

- i am so feral for both the unintentional close quarters contact and jedi reader being able to sense his thoughts but not really put the pieces together that he has the hots for her

“wot? he’s noticing my face and breath and my scent? hes nervous? oh he looked at my lips? hmmm? what he inadvertently felt up my waist and probably felt my under/sideboob? ugh i must be grossing him out” LMAO

(also dropping in the noticing lips from Rex’s POV drabble here because it is also just CHEFS KISS)

You don’t know enough about physical intimacy to know whether it was normal that you’d spent the next several days recalling the feeling of his hands on your body. That you’d stood alone in your tiny chamber back at the temple, pressing your own, much smaller hands to your waist, eyes shut.

- i have also done this before and the power of physical touch is just MMMMM

you watch as he runs a hand over his buzzed-short white hair, a gesture you’ve noticed he resorts to whenever he’s feeling stressed.

It sounds almost gruesomely flippant, but you can tell it’s not meant to be said with irony. He means it, and you can’t tell through his proud, carefully dignified clip how that simple fact affects him. You speak before thinking.

“Is that the way you feel as a soldier, or as a person?”

- once again i am mebbe seeing a pattern to the stories i am drawn to but i feel like picking up on someone’s nonverbal cues are the first signs of love/affection <3 and also once again… SOLDIERS ARE PEOPLE? WHAT A NOVEL IDEA? WITH WHOLE ASS LIVES, THOUGHTS, LOVES, HATES, DESIRES, WANTS, ETC. ETC. ETC. NOT CANNON FODDER/MEAT FOR THE MEAT GRINDER, NO MATTER THE (BULLSHIT) JUSTIFICATIONS?? I feel clone wars really does explore the sheer brutality and horror of war as much as can for a kids’ show (hah) and considering it’s in a fantasy space opera sci-fi settin but anyway i did not expect to go on a little nonsexy rant here but current events have been way too prominent in my mind and heart lately and fic has been one of my to-go comforts/safe spaces to regroup lately - anyway I DIGRESS BACK TO SIMPING - if you are a captain rex fan you know the absolute bullshit this nothing less than loyal and faithful soldier has been through and once again jedi reader’s compassion and care for him is one of the things that really make this fic so special for me and has kept me coming back to read it over and over <3

You lean forward, bringing the palm of your bare hand up to cup the side of his face. You can feel the sharpness of his cheekbone under your touch, the hollow underneath the angle. He freezes, flushing a beautiful rose underneath his copper, all the way up to his forehead. Before he has time to question what you’re doing, your eyes slip shut. Concentrating hard, you channel as much gentle comfort as you can up through your hands.

You imagine it as a pale glow, soothing and light. Like... hugging him, through the Force. You hold for him a couple of seconds before you let him go, suddenly self conscious. That was inappropriate, you think, wincing.

- i know this is a sex pollen fic but…this is one of my favorite moments in the whole story. <3 I aspire to give and be given moments like this with those around me <3

You lean back in the jump seat, watching him work. You think you’ve figured it out. That indefinable something about his face that sets him so staunchly apart from his brothers. It’s the eyes. They’re the saddest, kindest ones you think you’ve ever seen.

- 🥹🥹🥹🥹

“Another addition to your list of things I’ve done to disappoint you: leaving that pretty face unprotected.” Oh, Stars. What possessed you to say that? With your back to him, you’re glad he can’t see you cringe.

He doesn’t follow you immediately, and you get the impression he’s sifting though several different things he wants to say before coming up with this: “If we did have anything to filter out the air here, you’d be the one wearin’ it, General.”

-😏😏😏😏i am very this awkward flirting

You have no idea why you’re telling him this. You sound like an idiot. It must be the lack of blood in your head. You swallow, eyes darting helplessly back to the lines of his broad back and the way it narrows down to his waist, the contrast exaggerated by his armour.

- also jedi reader listen slutty little waists will distract everyone, okay, you are not immune

His responses until now have been amused, but there’s a definite edge of dignified loftiness in his tone as he sniffs. “ I’ve never witnessed anythin’ to indicate General Skywalker’s conduct is ever less than appropriate with the senator.”

-me, reading this: OMG S H U T UP REX 😂 😂 😂

Tentative, you open your mind to him fractionally. And you’re surprised to find he’s… concentrating on remembering military codes. Hard. It’s not the first time he’s exerted this much effort to conceal his thoughts from you, but this is a new level of extreme.

- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA also the implications of jedi being able to ‘sense’ other troopers (and other jedis? ppl in general??) jerking off is just…HMMM

- shoutout to melty acid sap tree for contributions to the rip ur clothes off immediately fund, pouring one out for you

And it’s then, blinking the beads of water from your eyes, that you sense the ripple - both through the Force and across the top of the water. Distilled, razor sharp desire.

- <33333 also this made me think of those ocean snakes that ppl sometimes randomly find in the middle of the ocean

- when rex gave his pauldron to reader i suspected she projected too hard and maybe he saw what she was picturing here 😏

- my left brain was delighted the jedi refused to rescue reader&rex and strand them on Planet Horny; my right brain/sense of conscience was FUCKING INFURIATED at the jedi stranding the two there and in this essay about geopolitics and wartime triage and the inherent nihilism and existential crises experienced during war i will-

“Remember your training. There may yet be an unseen path forward in which you find a way to survive. May the Force be with you.”

- i would take this as a blank cheque to get dicked down due to extenuating circumstances tbh, go ahead jedireader, u can do it 👊👊👊

- ah yes MEDICAL ASSISTANCE/UNORTHODOX METHODS is what the clones are calling it these days eh

It makes your next words thoughtless, and unguarded. “This is my fault, s-somehow, a test, maybe… the Force… it’s punishment for the way I’ve… thought a-about you. For not heeding the Code.”

- something about the way the reader is so apologetic of her candidness just bursting forth (but it’s literally the best parts of her/what she says???? like her force healing comfort touch before???) makes her so endearing to me - and also the most perfect way to basically confess a coworker crush in his settting lmao

- once again, facts being stated here that the sluttiest/most forbidden thing you do is *gags* want to HOLD HANDS *resumes gagging* <333

“Didn’t want you stuck out here with someone who couldn’t take care of you properly. Not the way I could.”

- DOUBLE ENTENDRE ALERT DOUBLE ENTENDRE ALERT

- i know they have wild flora-assisted monkey sex later on but i really think the most intimate moment in this fic is when rex actively allows his thoughts to be read by jedireader and she senses not just how horny he is for her but the roots of his crush starting and the evolving past basic lust and attraction to devotion and that four-lettered L word and honestly to me this is one of the most powerful moments in the fic

“I’m not asking you for anything. But I, ah, just needed you to know. It wouldn’t… bother me.”

- OMg YOU SELF-SACRIFICING UNSELFISH NOBLE FREAK JUST LET LOOSE FOR ONCE AND LET HER KNOW YOU ARE DOWN BAD FOR HER YOU CAN EVEN BLAME THE GODDAMN PLANTS

He removes his gloves one by one, standing up to lean over you in the cramped space. He looks stern despite the state of distress you can feel rolling off his tortured body. “Like I said, then. Leggings off.”

- i am not into petplay but omg the things i would do/not do for this man if he said literally anything to me that sounded liek a command

You know enough about sex to know that this is… procedure, preperatory,

- gurl u literally did it once for 3 min and you think- smh e d u c a t e yourself

- at this point i need to contain myself from literally just copypasting every single dialogue and description because im just spamming at this point but rex disappointed that he’s not being the usual going down king that he is due to debilitating medical circumstances is both the funniest and most in-world headcanon shit ive ever read

This seems to be unique; just something between him and you. You can feel every part of him. Not just his cock, splitting you open. But every thought, every feeling.

- wholesome smut is my bread butter and my jam forever and ever amen

- i absolutely love all the classic rex quips in this whole fic - “lucky im no jedi” slayed me

- also chaste first-time kiss while being balls deep is how i’d like to imagine my ideal death, not taking any questions tyvm

- also how convenient would it be if you could just telepathically be like ok now lets switch positions or i wanna try this or etc etc (assuming you’d be coherent enough while getting dicked down though is another thing entirely)

- deeply (no pun intended) enjoyed the use of pinion here re: rex’s cock pinioning reader to floor while changing positions (also what is sexier than pausing in the middle of reading smut to look up a word? ty fanfic i learn something new all the time with you <3)

Perhaps he says them for his own benefit; to hear it spoken aloud as he ruins and reforms you again and again.

And, you think, addled with longing and sadness and joy all in one, fuck it. Here, removed from the context of the rest of the galaxy, you’re just people. Not clones, or soldiers, or Jedi. Just humans, naked and weak and needing.

- when the sex is so good you experience post-nut clarity during sex and not after *chef’s kiss*

- also rex being jealous of reader’s own hands on their boobs is something i would tack in my brain walls like a college diploma

- i enjoyed the happy ending here hoping rex & reader had so much sex they literally invented new positions, i would have died happy but also a CH2???? I remember screaming at like dogwhistle decibel pitch when i learned about a ch2 being written

- i like to think kix as a war medic has Seen Some Shit™️ and then some and a part of me wonders how much he suspects sometimes lol

He’d been so firm but gentle, his hands commanding and familiar with you yet reverent; searching for answers in your skin. But it wasn’t just the way he touched you. Even though you know nobody else will ever touch you the same way again; have been painfully reminded as much in every waking moment. You imagine it completely, holding the image of his face close as your muscles begin to seize. Those soft, deep eyes, creasing with concerned affection all the way to the tops of his cheekbones. His full, slightly dry lips parting against yours, remembering the way he’d breathed deeply through his nose as he kissed you, cupping the back of your head in his hand like he could take you into himself with every one of his senses.

It had been the way he looked at you. Like he could see clear down to every single hidden part; the shallowest, ugliest, unworthiest parts — and he had wanted you just the same.

- 🥹🥹🥹🥹 again, this is some of the most beautiful writing ive ever read <3

It’s just… him. His warmth, and pride, and gruffness, and that endless, limitless compassion. The way he’d sought out the junior-most members of the squad deployed early in your mission and clapped their shoulders, committing their self-chosen names to memory. The way he seemed so much taller than his brothers despite standing at identical heights; something in the lift of his chin.

- this is so true! compassion and character is the hottest thing periodt and turns me on/gets me falling in love like nothing else - i wish it could be outwardly visible as readily as looks and facial features and clothing and sense of style are but ANYWAY I DIGRESS-

- beholding pissed off shirtless rex in grey sweatpants who just shaved his head is a religious experience, do not @ me

- i feel the reader on a spiritual level when she got fucking pissed at rex’s thumb bruise <3

- im both torn by rex’s slavish devotion to duty but also truly i feel the fic captures his character so well because HE TOTALLY WOULD BE saying shit like “but ur vows-“ it is so intensely tragic that it makes him so lovable to me (anyway its like 3am im rambling so probably gonna get more and moer unhinged)

- if rex called me “love” while bemoaning how masturbation while fantasising about you is just not the same as being with you i think i would proudly declare i have won at life

- also his “He doesn’t immediately understand, seeming to think hard as he tries to figure out exactly which thought you’d plucked from his head.” makes me think captain encyclopedic-knowledge-of-military-codes-&-procedure probably has an encyclopedia of fantasies involving reader lmao

That same chivalry that informed every single time he touched you was telling him now that he’d rather kneel for you. But as much as he’s a gentleman in every single sense of the word, he can’t deny this: he does want it.

-💙💙💙💙💙💙

- also feral for rex being considerate enough to say “dont hurt yourself” while getting his soul sucked out via his dick

- is there something as beautiful as watching someone come apart to the point they start reverting to their native language? anyway all that mando’a i learned via stw fanfic is all rushing back to me now

- once again peak yearning when they cuddle naked 💙

And so you listen to it. The energy surrounding this moment, gathering between your bodies… it’s something you’ve recognised countless times during deep meditation; surrounded by unquestionable goodness. Light. Pure and undeniable and beautiful.

- i am obsessed with this whole scene and dynamic and build-up; personally speaking as someone who is navigating and has decided to settle down for now in the weird demilitarized zone of the venn diagram between where sacred and profane supposedly “never” intersect and find a desire to both explore sexuality and faith in my own unique path (shoutout to all my fellow readers navigating religious trauma and looking to thrive not just survive, there’s way too fucking many of us tbh) i feel very very seen in reader navigating her jedi commitments and values with finding love with prisonertoempireslaveclone trooper captain rex

Fresh desire drips hot into your stomach, but it’s nothing like before. It isn’t urgent, or shameful. There’s none of the pained fear, so uncontrollable as you’d fled from your own thoughts, run into increasingly tighter circles. No, this feels as simple as a tide drawn by a celestial body overhead. Gentle and inescapable, eternal and safe.

- again peak writing here, thinking of an IRL time i walked out onto a beach in the middle of the night with a lover and i could see miles and miles of empty shore and stars in the sky and i felt the strongest feeling of freedom and safety i ever felt next to him - same vibes here 💙💙💙💙

- something i love about this story is you never hear rex and reader say i love you to each other, but they basically yell it at the top of their lungs with their bodies/actions and overhear it in each other’s thoughts which is just UNNFFFFFF

- the mood whiplash of fucking ANAKIN learning about them and getting to gloat about them sneaking off was a cherry on top perfect ending to this story UGH

i will be returning to my long-ass list of COD fanfics to comment on after this but it is now 3:14am and this took me by the throat (in both the sexy and unsexy way) and I was not allowed to rest until I finished writing this out so HAPPY VALENTINES YALL

#happy tings #hierarchy of needs #do not lose #long post

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