0403yhsh-blog

[0403yhsh-blog]

12 things i noticed about you in the last 12 months (and a song to go with each of them)

七 一 on melancholy hill: “’cause you are my medicine when you’re close to me” — even though you’re literally like 184cm you still wear hoodies that are oversized (and they look adorable. and i’ll let you steal as many of mine as you like. even the burberry ones.. ESPECIALLY the burberry ones)

二 hypnotised: “surround me, body and soul, pull me into your glow, make me blush” —  you use this emoji 🍀 in your cover titles and i think it’s a subtle reminder of how lucky we all are to have you in our lives but most importantly how lucky i am to be in love with you

三 adore you:“i’d walk through fire for you, just let me adore you” —  you've become more accepting of the way i like to spoil you and shower you in gifts and just pay for daily things like food or netflix or anything like that, and i'm glad because i want to give you everything physically as well as emotionally

四 need is your love: “our love is a drug, hearts turning to dust, you needed my trust, i needed your love” —  you get really excited when you're telling me about things you like and have these almost.. conversations with yourself, like little commentaries, and it gives me an amazing preview of what goes on in your mind

五 sparks fly: “’cause i see, sparks fly, whenever you smile” —  you take time to invest yourself in my interests, like watching movies i like with me and making playlists for me because you know i like to make them too

六 let me love u: “can't think of an excuse for this chance encounter, i can only move impulsively towards you” —  you've been so welcoming to every sudden pet idea i have and we have a future zoo to build now thanks to our combined eagerness

七 i think: “i think i'm falling in love (four, skate), this time i think it's for real (four, skate)”  —  recently you've started wearing your bangs so you can see your pretty forehead a lot more and it makes you look super mature and dare i say sexy..

八 king of hearts: “you who shines the brightest in the crowd, i’ll led you lead me” — you recently became a cat father to kkiyoongie and the way you act so tender and gentle with her makes me imagine how gentle you'll be with our own pets and our own children

九 bloom: “and it’s true, baby, i’ve been saving this for you, baby”  — since meeting you, your confidence has grown a millionfold, both in general and in specific situations like in bed, and i'm so so so proud of how far you've come

十 seeing stars: “i’ve been wishing about you, darling, i’ve been wishing my hardest” —   you've tried so many hair colours over the past year and i can't express enough just how gorgeous every single one of them looked on you 

十 一 past lives: “i’ve got the strangest feeling, this isn��t our first time around” —  you're gentle, fragile, tender, and your head can go into dark places sometimes when it's left to its own devices, but you're the strongest person i've ever known and you deal with it like a champion even though i want to protect you more than anything too

十二 swimming in the moonlight: “you have no clue how gorgeous you are, thank god, oh, in a time when nothing’s right you shine a light, you’re my everything, everything, everything” —  this realisation came pretty early on, but through getting to know you for the last 12 months, it's become pretty obvious to me that i am desperate to marry you as soon as i legally can so the world knows that i want you as my soulmate forever.

happy one year, my sweetheart. i love you so much more than anything else in the world and i'm already excited to spend a second wonderful year as your man.

[0403yhsh-blog]

2020넌 01월 25일 : 🍯 day!

the best day of the year is here !! finding out how to make your birthday special for you was a reason for many sleepless nights on this end, as i had already written you lists and letters expressing my love and was unsure of how to make it avant-garde this time. isn’t it curious how the more you love someone, the more difficult it becomes to show it ? i’m sure you’ve noticed. 

my genius idea ended up being to use a method i knew you’d understand, because i learned it from you. your playlists have both made me feel warm inside, and cry, and i wanted for you to have one to call your own. but let me tell you, it is so much harder than i expected !! my music taste is, well, all over the place, and every attempt to make it more cohesive felt disingenuous... so, i hope you like messy. 

what i did try to do is create almost a timeline, the first song choice showcasing how i was feeling when we started getting involved, until where we are now. you could say it’s a themed playlist !! i know how much you love knowing how i was feeling back then, so now i can not only say it but sing it. some of these songs you already know, some you may know in other contexts, but all of them mean something to me, and will to you, too.

happy birthday, my love, my honey, my angel. i love you more than words, and songs, can express, but i’d like to believe this is a good start. i can’t wait to spend my entire life by your side, to call you my husband and celebrate every birthday with you. let’s make it a forever.

so without further ado, here we go !!!  

❥ how will i know - whitney houston.  

❥ somebody - the griswolds.  

❥ feeling you - harrison storm.  

❥ this could be - joel ansett.  

❥ sparks fly - taylor swift.  

❥ whenever, wherever - shakira.  

❥ sparks - hilary duff.  

❥ for you - angus & julia stone.   

[0403yhsh-blog]

2019넌 09월 04일.

     hyungie. ♥ can you believe it’s been six months of us already? it appears to me that i always bring up how it seems like it was yesterday when you asked me out, but at the same time i find myself surprised you weren’t a part of my life since the beginning. there are many memories of mine that i wish i had shared with you, but the thought that soon enough i’ll have more memories including you than of me alone is enough to warm my heart. 

     for this letter, i want to start a tradition! it’s something i’ll do every other month, so it doesn’t get boring and my creativity isn’t stopped by it  ( ㅋㅋㅋㅋ ) but i want to thank you. even though i have a lot of reasons to do that, recent events have made me want to thank you, this time, for your patience and support. growing up is a scary experience to me who got used to being treated like a baby, and my reactions to the world and what happens around me are very intense... which means i experience mood swings often. lately it has gotten worse with all the fighting with jinwoo hyung, and i can’t imagine how i’d be going through this if it wasn’t the way you help me heal every time. 

     i know you’ll say i wouldn’t be going through this at all if we weren’t dating, but i don’t want to imagine a scenario where you’re not mine, and more than that i don’t want you to blame yourself for this tension. you’ve been a source of happiness to me, the only person who can make me laugh genuinely even when i feel like disappearing. you’ve shown me that i’m entitled to my emotions and it isn’t necessarily my fault if someone is unsatisfied with me — do you have any idea of how much you’ve made me grow as an individual ? i want to thank you for it. ㅎ 

     you’re the most patient man i have ever met, you understand how sometimes all i need is to lay on your chest and feel your warmth without any of us saying a word. you play little games with me, such as pretending we’re the only two people in the world, things that sound silly at first but then show themselves to be all i needed. sometimes, i observe you when you’re asleep or distracted and wonder how good can a person be. you were made for me, there is no other explanation for it! 

     for the way you allow me to vent to you and the way you take my feelings into consideration, for the patience you have with me, i want to thank you. you may not believe in me yet, but you’re the best boyfriend in the entire world and a role model figure to me of what kind of adult i want to become. the optimistic, happy manner of facing life and its’ difficulties hat you have are things i wish for myself, and while they’re not mine, can i borrow some of yours ? i’ll repay with my energy. ㅋㅋㅋ

     i also want to thank you for leting me be a part of your life. i watch you grow more every single day and i couldn’t be prouder of the man you are, especially at how this man is all mine. my dreams, both during day and night, both innocent and maybe not so, are always filled with your voice, your scent and the feeling of your hands on me, of your lips on mine. i’ve been so spoiled by your presence now that you don’t have as many overseas schedules ! only imagining how it’ll be like to move in with you and have us start a life of our own makes me excited to see what the future holds for us. i believe it’s going to be so beautiful, and i have the ‘yes’ in the tip of my tongue for whenever you feel like asking. i’ll give you my entire soul, hyung. 

     to end this thank you note, i want to remind you of how much i love you. never forget, please !! you’re my reason to go through hard days, my personal sunshine and the one who understands me better than anyone in this world. if my forever doesn’t include you, i don’t want it. i wish to spend every single day of my life by your side, you’re the family my heart has chosen for me. i love you. 

[0403yhsh-blog]

九月四日二千十九

6 whole months together! it’s insane and it doesn’t feel one bit real. i seriously can’t believe you’re willingly spending all this time with me and haven’t killed me yet, but i’d hope i’m making it worth your while. 

we’ve had quite the few ups and downs since i wrote my last letter, haven’t we? i know that all these things are in the past now but i still do carry regrets from whenever i’d accidentally hurt you. i’m being better now and trying to see things from your perspective before i waltz in and make unknowing comments, since you’re just as sensitive a lover to me. it really feels like you might just be tapped into my mind and reading my thoughts sometimes because i seriously have no idea how you manage to be on the same wavelength as me all the time. 

i think i decided to reflect a bit more on the difficulties this time around to remind us that these things do happen but we make it through, as always. like the stuff with jinwoo hyung— it makes me so goddamn angry but i need to hold myself back and give you both space. space for you to flourish and space for him to accept that you can and will, as an adult.. y’know? it’s important that he realises that as a guardian figure to you. as much as it hurts that he seems to hate something about us, the least i can settle for is that he knows how much i fucking love you. and he’ll know pretty soon that i want to marry you as soon as it’s legal.. if i get the guts to tell him, that is. in fact? i’m sure i will! cause i’d willingly accept even getting roughed up if it means i get to brag to the world about having you as mine.

in all seriousness, you’re the most beautiful thing that’s ever happened to me, physically and otherwise. when i look at you, you’re a vision: your hair is always smooth, your lips are always soft, your skin is always clear, your eyes are always glistening. and the other side that i’ve been so lucky enough to fall in love with for the past 6+ months: you’re gentle and tender, yet wild and assertive, and able to turn on the seductive charm in seconds. every single time we have sex i thank god i’m the only one who’s been able to see this side of you.. like it’s only for me and nobody else. a different kind of beauty that i can’t even begin to describe in words so i show you how i feel through the ways i touch you and tease those beautiful sounds out of you when you're under me.

i also think it’s important to repeat some affirmations that i know you’ve been having trouble with lately.. 

i trust you with your diet, just remember to not go too overboard. 

you’re never ever boring and i could listen to you talk forever, whether i was your lover or not. 

it’s okay to take a break sometimes, don’t bully yourself for wanting some alone time instead of texting people back so quickly. forcing it makes you hate it even more.

you’re beautiful.

you deserve a hell of a lot better than your members treat you and you’re old enough now to be able to stand up to them without them complaining so please don’t be afraid to.

i’m gonna marry you one day.

actually, in reference to #5, i’m very glad you have been being more assertive with them lately because it means we’ve finally been able to travel and spend these last few monthiversaries together, and it feels really good. being able to spend this time together, being able to openly kiss and cuddle and make love as loud as we want to, is a treasure that will never lose its sheen to me. 

these 6 long months, while they could have easily felt longer if we weren’t together and having so much fun as a result, went by in a flash because we were so caught up in our love. i hope for the next 6 months to be just as quick, and hopefully sooner rather than later it’ll be possible for us to start our dream of adopting lego, getting married and starting our own little family. 

yoon sanha, i’m so ready to spend the rest of my life with you. i love you more than anything on planet earth and i hope you never forget just how much you mean to me. thank you for loving me.

forever yours, yukhei.

p.s. come to the kitchen for a surprise. i had it made just in time for us to eat it ALL before our flight.

[0403yhsh-blog]

———   2019넌 07월 04일.

     hyung !! finally it happened, we were together for a monthaversary ㅎㅎㅎㅎ when you told me you’d be traveling to korea for it, i almost couldn’t believe my dream was about to come true, and maybe you’ve spoiled me a little bit because spending our next special dates without you if necessary will be so tough. i don’t want to take too long with this but i also couldn’t let this day go by without writing at least a little note to my favorite person in the world.

      today gave us a little preview of what our life together will look like. if i closed my eyes while you were holding me in your arms, i could pretend this was our place somewhere in seoul or hong kong or thailand or anywhere we want, and we didn’t have any worries besides what to order for dinner. but some things kept me grounded, like knowing you already had a plane ticket for tomorrow night and the fact we can’t take pictures showing our faces in case someone hacks into our phones for whatever reason. i know it isn’t ideal and we deserve so much more, but perhaps we should practice some gratitude, both of us. we found each other, and what we have is something people seek their entire lives and sometimes don’t even find. 

      i get why netflix & chill is such a popular thing, i don’t ever want to watch anything else without you  ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ joking around with you makes me the happiest, especially when you’re cuddling me and i get to steal kisses every now and then. it’s perfect, you’re perfect. even the little things like discussing if we want to adopt mike or eleven make for sharing these moments with you the best thing i could ask for. 

      being in an empty dorm with you made me more certain if possible about what i was already aware of : i want to spend my life with you. i love you more than words can describe, even our ‘forever and a day’ words. seeing you smile still gets my stomach twitching, your laughter warms me up and your touches set me on fire. i want this for the rest of my days, i can’t get enough of you and how perfectly you match me and how you’re everything i need. i want to be with you when i don’t feel like myself, when i’m upset and unable to let anyone but you in. you’re my angel, my soulmate, and even though i’m lacking as a boyfriend still, please stay with me. don’t give up on me, okay ? 

- yours, sanha.

[0403yhsh-blog]

七月四日二千十九

wong yukhei comin' at you live with another romantic playlist for four months with the love of his life. enjoy, and i love you!

▸ my love — ludic

▸ crazy — muirman

▸ b.o.m.d. — clairo

▸ really rong — ¿téo?

▸ always on my mind — lo-fi le-vi

▸ cherry — rina sawayama

▸ dreaming of u — hot flash heat wave

▸ time after time — cyndi lauper

[0403yhsh-blog]

2019넌 06월 04일.

hyungie !! happy three months to us, for this celebration i decided to work on something a litle different from a letter, and i hope it’s still as poetic as you say my love confessions are. you’ll already have a lot of reading to do, so let me not spend too much time here. i love you, and here’s why :

⠀ ⠀⠀                            ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 100 reasons why i love you !! ꒱ ˗ˏˋ♡⃛ˎˊ˗ 

𝟭. you make me laugh, with your bad jokes and your flirting and the contagious happiness you carry.  

𝟮. you have the brightest smile in the entire universe.  

𝟯. you squeeze me in your sleep. 

𝟰. and on top of that, i feel the safest when i’m in your arms. 

𝟱. you’re confident and everyone knows that, but it doesn’t stop you from always trying your best and wanting to do better. 

𝟲. you beat me at pool every time and still never make fun of me for it ㅎㅎㅎ  

𝟳. you send me good morning messages. 

𝟴. you value my opinion about everything.   

𝟵. you smell like home. 

𝟭𝟬. you carry me in your arms as if i weigh nothing. 

𝟭𝟭. you don’ pressure me into talking if i don’t feel well enough. 

𝟭𝟮. when i’m in a dark place, you tell me that you love me. that you’re proud of me. you have no idea how much knowing those two things helps.  

𝟭𝟯. your relationship with music and making playlists is adorable.   

𝟭𝟰. you’re always patient   

𝟭𝟱. and kind

𝟭𝟲. and literally a prince charming from fairytales i never believed in ( until we met  ㅋㅋ )

𝟭𝟳. you’re so expressive - your eyes always give away how you’re feeling.

𝟭𝟴. and you look at me as if i’m something precious.

𝟭𝟵. ever since we got closer, you’ve put me first. and you don’t ask for anything in return, sometimes you don’t even tell me what you’re doing. you’re just that precious.

𝟮𝟬. thinking about you makes me cry because i can’t believe you’re real ㅎㅎ

𝟮𝟭. you’re my honey. 

𝟮𝟮. my angel.

𝟮𝟯. my love.

𝟮𝟰. you agreed to watching twilight with me !! boyfriend goals. i flipping swear.

𝟮𝟱. you fall asleep during sexting, during sappy sessions and important talks.

𝟮𝟲. you’re the cutest !!

𝟮𝟳. you bbu bbu’ed to me twice even though i Know how you like being masculine  👀

𝟮𝟴. you listen to my ramblings with genuine interest.

𝟮𝟵. your hands hold mine so perfectly.

𝟯𝟬. you’re warm, warm, warmer than any blanket.

𝟯𝟭. you adore your family, your friends, nct, me. your love is pure and knows no boundaries. 

𝟯𝟮. you’re all i’ve ever wanted and more.

𝟯𝟯. you’re the most handsome man i’ve ever laid my eyes on.

𝟯𝟰. you’re sappy sappy sappy ㅎㅎ ㅎㅎ ㅎㅎ

𝟯𝟱. your reactions are Always over the top and i love them.

𝟯𝟲. all i have to do is say i need you and you’re in my dorm within minutes.

𝟯𝟳. you get extra soft out of nowhere - w -

𝟯𝟴. you eat...... so much...... so fast

𝟯𝟵. you’re smooooth  ㅎㅎ

𝟰𝟬. you warned me of the gross scenes when we watched hereditary together.

𝟰𝟭. you’re RUDE.

𝟰𝟮. you’ve got me thinking the sweetest, most loving and most impure thoughts.

𝟰𝟯. you never get mad at me.

𝟰𝟰. you buy me food 😊

𝟰𝟱. we have our own vocabulary of inside jokes.

𝟰𝟲. you’re so gentle when you touch me.

𝟰𝟳. ...... but your duality always gets me screaming.

𝟰𝟴. you’re aaaaall mine~!

𝟰𝟵. you’re a child sometimes.

𝟱𝟬. you’re so smart, so much more than you credit yourself for and whoever disagrees isn’t worthy of your love and attention.

𝟱𝟭. you’re an /amazing/ cuddler.

𝟱𝟮. you’re straightforward.

𝟱𝟯. you mean the world to me.

𝟱𝟰. you’re passionate about what interests you.

𝟱𝟱. you made it a point to befriend my members. that’s so sweet, so so sweet.

𝟱𝟲. you’re my everything, everything, everything  ㅎㅎ

𝟱𝟳. you make me blush.

𝟱𝟴. you offered to buy me mcdonald’s when we had recently started talking.

𝟱𝟵. you were so nice when we first met that i had to tell my friends about you.

𝟲𝟬. you planned our first date.

𝟲𝟭. your memes are.... questionable.

𝟲𝟮. you got me a gift for my graduation.

𝟲𝟯. you gave me flowers twice!

𝟲𝟰. you grow more and more as a person everyday and watching your journey brings me so much joy.

𝟲𝟱. your sleepy voice sobs

𝟲𝟲. your soft lips on mine, my neck, everywhere

𝟲𝟳. you’re the silliest!

𝟲𝟴. we agree on everything

𝟲𝟵. including the characters we hate !

𝟳𝟬. you started liking me more because of my opinions on star wars  ㅋㅋㅋ 

𝟳𝟭. you let me see the parts of you that aren’t positive.

𝟳𝟮.  and i love them as i love you.

𝟳𝟯. you like dogs but you agreed on raising a cat with me

𝟳𝟰. .... and a baby 😍

𝟳𝟱. even slow days when we have nothing to talk about are fun with you.

𝟳𝟲. you were so terrified of jinwoo hyung at first !!

𝟳𝟳. you post about me without telling me you did and they’re always a surprise that gets me blushing.

𝟳𝟴. you gave me your hoodie.

𝟳𝟵. you waited until i was sure of my feelings even when you were already sure of yours

𝟴𝟬. you want to try my leggings ㅎㅎ 

𝟴𝟭. you taught me about dipping fries on milkshake.

𝟴𝟮. you share recipes with me.

𝟴𝟯. you’re sexy.

𝟴𝟰. and you make me feel like i can show another image of myself than just cute.

𝟴𝟱. although my cuteness always melts your heart  💋

𝟴𝟲. you play google feud with me.

𝟴𝟳. you suck at ocho, at least compared to me !!   ㅎㅎ ㅎㅎ

𝟴𝟴. you protect me.

𝟴𝟵. you’re romantic.

𝟵𝟬. we’re so similar yet so different.

𝟵𝟭. you’re never rude, or mean, or anything of the sort.

𝟵𝟮. i’m sure you’ll be a great parent to coco, lego and baby - w -

𝟵𝟯. you’re my soulmate.

𝟵𝟰. you’re so good to me.

𝟵𝟱. you’re a puppy!

𝟵𝟲. you express your love for me so well, with words and gestures.

𝟵𝟳. no fictional character can compare to you  ㅎㅎ

𝟵𝟴. i miss you every second of the day.

𝟵𝟵. you make me happy.

𝟭𝟬𝟬. and i want to continue being yours, make more lists like this, get to know you better in every way i can - i love you, my angel, because you’re wong yukhei, my beloved, my miracle, my one and only. 

[0403yhsh-blog]

六月四日二千十九

hey there, my little star. can you believe it's been three months of us already? it seems crazy that it's been that long already — maybe because time flies so fast when we're together. you know what they say about time flying when you have fun and stuff. anyway, i think playlists are more my thing than long letters all the time so i thought it'd be good to make a collection of all the songs that reminded me of you or made me wanna be with you. i love you so much, yoon sanha. never forget that. you're my everything, my world, my future, and my love for you grows every single day. you're perfect and there's nothing you can do or say to convince me otherwise. happy three months, baby. i hope we can spend the next one together. i'll be wishing for it all month.

▸ you make me OH! — donny electric

▸ swimming in the moonlight — bad suns (again)

▸ have you ever been in love — the ivy

▸ pink — no rome

▸ preach — keiynan lonsdale

▸ lotion — the peachskins

▸ i think — tyler, the creator

▸ let me love u — wayv

▸ tinted — kvsper feat. lukie b

▸ faded photo — leo xia

▸ proximity — william hinson

[0403yhsh-blog]

2019넌 01월 25일 : 🍯 day!

        ◖ sns post from @SANSHlS. 11:50 p.m ◗ 

before your birthday ends (almost there!), i’d just like to quickly thank you for being born, not liking the same movies i don’t and dealing with my ramblings, @wookheii hyung. let’s keep this, right? ㅎㅎ   💚

[0403yhsh-blog]

五月四日二千十九: the playlist.

▸ sunflower — swae lee feat. post malone

▸ spooky chills — silver suede

▸ luv & tv — travis bickle

▸ hml — sisyfuss

▸ pink in the night — mitski

▸ sucker — jonas brothers

▸ bloom - recorded at spotify studios nyc — troye sivan

▸ glitter — tyler the creator

▸ pretty boys — wilmah

▸ swimming in the moonlight — bad suns

▸ seeing stars — børns

▸ past lives — børns

[0403yhsh-blog]

五月四日二千十九

two months together already, huh? unfortunately we're spending it apart (again), but i hope we can change that next month, and the month after that, and after that, and that.. (you get the picture) i can't say i'm on the level of being totally poetic just yet but i promised i'd try at least something for you so here goes a rough.. something. it has no rhyme or reason cause i don't play by those stupid restrictive rules.

doe eyes,

rose petal tinted lips,

tugged up into

prettiest cupid's bow,

hair; angels' heartstrings

& the way you tug at mine

never thought much

about soulmates, but i feel

something with you

beauty is incomparable,

just know you're the

prettiest.

now onto something i'm a hell of a lot better at: rambling. as many jokes as i make now the comeback is coming, you've really rocked my world in a way i can't ever begin to describe in words (i think that's why i find it so hard to write poetry). loving you has felt like a love i've never loved before and never want to love again if it's not with you. i want to marry you, get lego with you, get coco with you, spend my life with you, settle down with you, start a family with you.. everything i can imagine doing to progress in my life, i want to be able to share it with you too. i've fallen so hard and so fast in this period of time that it made me truly wonder if it was possible for a person to be born that matches you so impeccably that it almost seems like they were made just for you.

that's how i feel. like i always say, that extra year i had before you were born was giving me extra practice to be the best lifelong lover i can be for you. it took us however long to meet, but.. now i have you i wouldn't dream of letting go of you for anything. i know i goof up occasionally and do stupid shit that i don't even realise is stupid until it's too late, and i'm so grateful for how forgiving you are with me. for the level of trust you've bestowed on me. knowing that you trust me enough every day to even share your deepest secrets has made me feel privileged like no other.

i'm going to grow for you. i tell myself that every single day. i've already grown tremendously as a person since we met since w'ere so.. similarly different that you've shown me a lot of perspectives i wouldn't think about before. i think you've helped me a lot to embrace my own sensitivity and emotions and not always put up such an unbreakable front when i don't want to burden other people. there's a lot that you've helped me with and i hope i've been able to also help you in return. your rough days are hard for me but i'm sure they're a lot harder for you, and you insist i don't need to but the least i can do is be there for you if i can't do anything else. it used to frustrate me a lot but i'm coming to accept that more too.. these days just happen so i'll do as much as i can.

i've never felt so lucky as i do right now to be living on this planet, in this time, as yoon sanha's boyfriend. i'm sure there's a million other realities where we're just as hopelessly in love (maybe even more!) since we're inseparable like that, but to me this one is the most important. you're the most kind, loving, gentle, beautiful, sometimes bratty person i've ever known. the draw i feel to you is.. something cosmic. i hope you can forgive all the times i'm away for work. i know it's hard, really super hard, but distance makes the heart grow fonder and it makes every little second we spend together that more precious.

i hope you know that you're a treasure. a gift. my everything, my world, my sweet baby boy who couldn't be more perfect if he tried. i love you, yoon sanha, i'm so in love with you, and i hope i could do that love even the slightest bit of justice through this letter and the little playlist i made for you to commemorate it. thank you so much for spending the last two months being mine and i hope we can easily carry on that love for the rest of time.

[0403yhsh-blog]

2019넌 05월 04일.

      hyungnim! i don’t exactly know how to write a letter like this... usually when i feel too deeply, it becomes a struggle to express it ㅎㅎㅎ but i made a promise to myself that i would try for you, because i love you too much, and i want you to have this reminder. 

      truthfully, i never thought i’d open myself to someone the way i’ve done to you. there is a lot more to me than what i show, and not everything is pretty... most isn’t ㅋ but you still called me beautiful after finding out, like you still call me precious to this day. and i’m sure you mean it, i just don’t know how to react to it... so forgive me if i seem cold, or like i don’t care or value your opinion about me even if it doesn’t meet mine. i’m still adapting to someone knowing me as well as i know myself, better even! 

            from the moment we first met to the one i’m writing this, and for all the moments i live, i’ve wanted you to be a part of me. at first it was innocent and i only wished to be around you, but it’s gotten to a point where my life wouldn’t make sense if you weren’t in it. i’ve been exposed to more about you, and i got to meet the man behind those smiles, behind the jokes and the usual contagious happiness you carry. you’re kind, and you feel too strongly, and i want to cherish your heart. i want to be good for you like you are for me. i feel honored to be able to call you my man, my boyfriend, mine, mine, mine. 

      your patience is something about you. you never ask for more than i can give, you never complain about or belittle my lack of experience, you’re always supportive and optimistic and gentle in a way that it feels like i’m breakable. and i’m positive you’ll only say it’s because you’re a “decent man”, but not everyone is lucky to have someone like you in their lives, and trust me, you’re not getting away from mine. 

      i’m the kind of person who likes daydreaming, and you’ve got me making silly plans about how our future together will look like. you join me in those, it’s become a part of our relationship, hasn’t it? except this time... i feel like my daydreaming is only one step away from me. there is no doubt we’re going to make it, we’ll spend our years being the sappiest couple who flirts like pre-teens and never gets tired of each other and adopts more pets than they can possibly manage. 

      i know it hasn’t been all sunshines and rainbows with us  —, we’ve had a few misunderstandings that were solved pretty quickly (because it feels incomplete when we’re fighting instead of loving  ㅋ ㅋ ㅋ ㅋ), though mostly what has bothered us is distance. but, my love, i wouldn’t mind waiting an eternity to be with you even if for a minute. you’ve got me head over heels. 

      i love you more than words can describe, for forever and forever and a day, in each and every universe, and hyung, if there is a life after this one, i’ll love you then. you’re like an extension of who i am, my soulmate ㅎ we talk about every topic together and the most dull conversations become colorful when it’s with us. i don’t know how we do it, i honestly don’t know how we never run out of things to say ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ but even when we’re in silence and you’re just holding me in your arms, there isn’t any other place i’d rather be. 

     ah— look, i can’t stop writing now! i think there will be enough material for a book once we reach our first anniversary! right now, though, i want to wish us a happy two months month-a-versary. thank you for sharing my worries, supporting my dreams and giving me the confidence i lost. i want to be the person you come to, the one who makes you feel whole, and the one who loves you entirely for the rest of your days. you’re the one i’ve been waiting for my whole life. 

      let’s be happy, hyungie! ❤ 

                                                                                                                like the sunshine 

                                                                                      shining through my window blinds, you 

                                                                                           came to me and held me 

                                                                                                                  into your light.

- yours, sanha.