097-2

[097-2]

I passed my comps. I walked out of the building as a PhD candidate and A was waiting with a bouquet of peonies in the back

[097-2]

It's june already?! My comps are in a week?!

[097-2]

봄

[097-2]

I am so jet lagged right now. The issue is that I sleep when I'm sleepy and when I'm not sleepy I lay in bed trying to sleep more. I eat when i'm hungry so I don't remember when I last had a proper meal. The only consistency I've had for the past three days is that I've been showering at 1am. Sorry to my next door neighbour. Sorry. You wake me up too.

It's so hard going back home because it has everything I want. I don't realize how much I love spending evenings with my parents until I'm spending evenings with my parents. I forget how angry I am about the fact that I can't see my mom whenever I want until it's the last day that I can see my mom whenever I want. I don't think about how much I love my stepdad until I hug him at the train station and say I love you so much, so much and at first he pretends not to hear me then he says it back.

Comps are in three weeks. I slept at 12 and woke at 7pm. I've been up since, and I plan to be up until I get comments back on my proposal and I make revisions. I'm having a latte at the neighbourhood cafe, it used to taste like compost (I'd still have it once a week) but since the management change (which seems to have happened since I've been away) it's gotten vastly better.

[097-2]

[097-2]

Looking at the TV Thinking that you're dreaming I don't think you know How to handle

You have got to step up Show that you can be enough Make it okay It's hard to swallow

Why don't you go back To falling apart? You were so good at that You're one in a million now You don't want to take the time You just need to seem alright

Feeling like a deadbeat Everything is incomplete I don't think you know What it takes for

Looking at the feeling I know that you're missing Take it away I've gotta let go

[097-2]

오늘 잘한 일

기획서 끝내기. 덕분에 내일은 온전히 프로그래밍에 집중할 수 있게 되었다

배달음식 안 시켜먹기

[097-2]

Mickey 17

9.2 because i don't know why they had to end the nightmare scene. I kept thinking about theseus' ship and the teleportation machine question. I cried when the mother creature immediately started licking and caressing the hurt baby creature. I loved the creatures and their peace and kindness. Never once did they try to hurt humans and they only bluffed? I was glad to have watched it at the theatre because the creature yelling scene was painful, like i was actually there in the scene- I'm sure it i was at home i would've turned down the volume instead of being in the space

[097-2]

화장실 갈 때 핸드폰 안 보기

[097-2]

Building confidence takes time. The other day my professor told me that it was great to see me have confidence in my knowledge now. I have confidence that I can figure things out even if it takes time, especially with work. I can do it

[097-2]

Left a long and public review on LibraryThings oh Creature I hope you come back in the next life to be loved unconditionally and experience warmth

[097-2]

A few days ago I had a dream about my psychiatrist. It's been over half a year since I've last seen her, and I remember celebrating the fact that it was all over, everything that happened and the time I took to get over things.

New things happen every day, small and big. I've learned every skill I need to get over things, small and big. The people I've met since I've worked with my psychiatrist have told me that I am very self-aware. I agree. Give me an hour when I'm sad, and I'll know exactly why I'm sad and the what I need to get over it.

It's both a blessing and a curse. Today I am sad, and I know exactly why I am sad. I'm holding the urge to go to the bathroom because if I see a mirror I might be inclined to skin off my face. I know that the feelings I have are irrational, but I also know that there is a rationale behind why I have these feelings - there is always a trigger. I know that soon I will digest these feelings and in a day or two I will feel silly about having them. I know, I know. But that doesn't stop me from feeling this way, right now.

[097-2]

선생님 오랜만에 선생님이 나오는 꿈을 꾸었습니다 건강하게 잘 지내고 계시죠?

[097-2]

I still have issues controlling the amount of time I spend on my phone.

I pulled an all nighter last Friday, and my sleep schedule's been more or less fucked up since - I've been going to bed around 2-3, then waking at 11:30ish. I'm lucky if I get out of bed before 1, and during that time I'm on my phone, scrolling meaninglessly. I know I'll have plenty more time to check on things during work breaks, but I can't stop, because I don't want to start working. By the time I'm about to sleep I'm sick of scrolling on TikTok and Instagram, but I still can't stop because it's a habit. I have time limits on both of them, but I ignore the alarms. It might be time to just delete the apps, but I'm scared of falling behind on trends. Not that they serve any purpose in my life.

[097-2]

[097-2]

화면에서 눈을 떼고 밖을 좀더 보자 좀 더 좋은 사람이 될 수 있을거야

[097-2]

Oh BC they could never make me hate you