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Terrible news

good morning kings let’s push this boulder

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This is actually, as far as I'm aware, the deepest-set urge that writers possess. It's not relegated to flowery prose either. Philosophers do it too, and they do it in a much worse way

one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence "The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon." no. that's boring. "The sun was honey-bright that afternoon" however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if "honey-bright" is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.

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Im so fucking smart ask me anything

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Your friends watching something for the first time and getting to that scene VS you, the knower.

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I love you dead punctuation marks.

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Ok

I don’t know who this is for, but being sick and having just woken up randomly at 4 am I’ve hit this absurd train of thought

What if, like, we just started saying the most absurd things about remasters/remakes?

Like advertising all of the live action Disney’s as having

‘50x as much gay sex’

Because strictly speaking the original’s had 0 gay sex, so the math works out

I really don’t know how much this is anything, but thank you for not listening to my Ted talk, who now’s if this survives until the actual morning

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Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???

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This is why I’m only on the objectively good and not at all insane parts of the internet. Reddit and tumblr

ilove when someone posts about an issue that's supposedly plaguing society and it's painfully obvious that said issue is not a thing that matters if youre not on tiktok

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Rewatching fhsy and thinking about Gorgug trying to get way too large birds to perch on his arm (re: Baxter). I bet the greatest wizard of all time could convince the mistress of the compass points to do a silly bit with him.

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I wish you and it the best of luck

i did it i finished building my Magic the Gathering deck! my first homemade Commander deck, it probably sucks but it really does feel good to have come up with a concept and through work and planning turned it into something i can physically hold in my hand and use :) and it’s got character and it’s all mine and im really happy :D

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This one time I was at a street festival hosted by my Uni and there was a guy doing card tricks. I was watching him when I noticed he dropped a card. (7 of spades) I quickly pu my shoe in it and then bent down to act like I was tying my shoe. He then asks for a volunteer so I raise my hand. He asks me to say the name of a card at random so I say “7 of spades” he does his trick that I guess was supposed to make it come on top. He holds up the Ace of Hearts and says “is this your card?” And I hold up the card and said “no but this is” and the crowd LOST IT. I handed the card back to the magician and walked away. Later he comes up to me and asks me how I did it. I looked him in the eye, smiled and said “magicians never reveal their secrets” and walked away.

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Random headcanon: the reason that Peach and Bowser don’t seem to get a lot of respect in some Super Mario games is because the Mushroom Kingdom is kind of a rural backwater and isn’t terribly important or influential politically, so people tend to regard Bowser as a C-list villain for being so hung up on such an insignificant conquest. Nobody really expects Bowser to be a serious threat – that would be like expecting a guy whose main claim to fame is repeatedly failing to conquer Wyoming to be a serious threat – so they get taken by surprise every single time.

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I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

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god the follower who told me trinyvale triplets is just the paddy's gang of d&d i think about you every single day. you're so terribly right. the triplets really are just the gang if they were just dennis dee and mac and had to save the world instead of buying a bar

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I made a chart to keep track of the bloomburrow creature types in case that's useful for anyone

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If any part of your plan involves the words "nobody could be that stupid", please be prepared to be proven wrong at any minute at a moment's notice. Pay in mind that the person determined to prove you wrong may already be aware of this assumption, and is already approaching your current location at an alarming speed.

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Two feet apart because they’re very gay

two sheep. standing still