12amwonders

[12amwonders]

neptune is currently conjunct my ascendant and venus and i really want to know what it was like for other people who have experienced this transit.

so far i feel like i sorta forgot what i look like (ik it doesn’t make sense) and i want to feel some kind of closeness/ connections with others (not in a romantic way, but in a human way if that makes sense)

my perception of things also feels blurry/ not as clear

anyway it just started so i don’t have much to say, but if anyone has any tips/ experiences they’d like to share i’d really appreciate it ! 🫶🏽

[12amwonders]

Past Dreams (2017);

When I turned to the side you stared at me. I laughed and whispered good morning. You smiled at me and said the same only calling me gorgeous instead. Even though it was 5:45 am we were both awake. I had asked you what your biggest dream was followed by your biggest mistake. You responded with a story from when you were seven and you crapped your pants in front of a crush followed by explaining how you would like to be able to say you have done everything you have wanted with the person you loved. You asked me the same questions. I told you my biggest dream was currently happening, being with you. You then laughed saying that it was just like me to be so cliche. I told you that my biggest mistake was probably worrying about how others saw me. After this only about two minutes passed and it was too cold to get out of bed so we just laid close, grasping for each others warmth. Neither of us wanted to break the silence that we had created. It was like we were saying everything we have ever wanted to without speaking. I stared through the window at the restless world that had stopped around us. I did not want to leave. Occasionally, I buried my face into your chest and tightened my leg wrapped around yours to make sure I could feel that you were next to me. You started to hum the song we first danced to and I soon hummed along. I’d gently called your name, deciding whether to break the silence or not and you laughed huskily at the awkwardness I had created. You tightened your hold around me as I formed a small smile. Our lame flower sheets, the canopy around the bed, and the wide window next to it had become something normal to see. A view that only we would share. The birds chirp and I wake up only to roll over to the spot that had been empty for the two years since you have passed. This is my life without you.