1nhaler

[1nhaler]

today was. peculiar but good overall I think.

morning exam went pretty good! I finished a half hour early since I write really quickly and eeped through the rest. felt really funny through the rest of the day but whatever. probably just sickness.

got lightly harassed by two fuckass students with grade 2 behaviour so I don't actually care that bad. revised a little at lunch and then yapped to my friends before the second exam. biology was a sweat, easiest subject ever.

went to a little set of woods, followed through a tunnel before going back since I was supposed to be home. got home, slept a lot, some other stuff.

I yapped a lot to my beloved today!! i got to infodump and blabber and tried to film a 20 minute video of me chatting utter shite but it wouldn't send :( studied and listened to music some more, then blabbered even more.

it makes me a little sad he doesn't enjoy school as much. I guess for a while I lied about how much I loved school, how everyone was so cool and sweet and nice and I loved everyone. after everything, I just sort of opened my eyes recently and went "...I really don't like any of these people. I don't enjoy even being in the same lesson as them." I guess meeting someone who admits how they feel makes me admit it a little more.

I am lonely, I think. I'm alone a lot, but a lot of it is by choice. I'm quiet, I like to have my time to sleep or draw or listen to music. but that being said, when I do want to be with people, I guess I struggle a little bit. I have some great friends, sure, but I just don't hang out with them at lunch and break. maybe I'm being stupid. maybe I should just ask them.

anyways. all goes to say that it makes me a little relieved that there's someone who feels how I do. I hope he's okay. I'd give the world and the sky and the stars for him to be okay.

[1nhaler]

I'm silly and forgetful so I didn't do these the last few days!!

very sick today. turns out allergies weren't just allergies and I'm violently sick with a cold or something so I was sniffly and headachy all through the day.

the first exam went good!!! the questions were fucking fantastic, I genuinely sighed in relief. I hope the ones tomorrow are good. I'm great at biology so I should be set, but I have trouble remembering the quotes for religion.

got home, revised a bit, passed out for eepy time, had dinner, then hopped on Minecraft with da favourite person... no call today since it'd just be me coughing or singing bullshit. I'm currently working on adding a herobrine mod which is silly!

I missed him. I didn't talk much recently cause I was sick and caught up in everything, I forgot how fun it was to yap with him. like a breath of fresh air after drowning for a while

[1nhaler]

you own the sun and the stars look up to you

[1nhaler]

Glorious Ovulation or something idk

[1nhaler]

maybe he's jealous of us?

...that's weird. stay away from him

[1nhaler]

today was goodie, I think. it was a shirt signing day, so we actually did next to no work. I finished my design, I'm super proud of it. radiohead album cover, of course.

my friend is behaving odd again. I'm unsure how to respond really. I guess I'll just try to lightly go "that's enough..."

anyways, that doesn't matter. I got to call with my favorite person again today!!! we were gonna finish the fuckass movie but we ended up just having an extensive yap sesh. it's unusual that I really like talking to anyone very much.

I was worried I'd upset him the last few days. I overthink, I think. I don't want to be pressuring with it, but I guess I'm just worried he'll suddenly leave. I don't think he will though. I really really do like him.

exams are stressing me out a little. when I think about them, my heart hurts. but whatever.

I wonder what'll happen if I fail. in the past id just assumed I'd jump off of something and have it end there, but I guess I don't know now. I think it just upsets me a little knowing how many people are watching me and expecting me to do well. what if I fail in front of everyone?

I guess I should try to be optimistic.

[1nhaler]

oh, shit. I haven't charged my camera in like 2 months.

[1nhaler]

I put on one MSI song and I lose all morals for the next 2-3 minutes

[1nhaler]

today was pretty good I think. um. I went to the store and got some ingredients, came home and made 2 batches of meringues. made a carbonara for dinner too. did some revision, unfortunately.

my favourite person was busy and sleepy, so we didn't call today. but that's ok, I just want him to be happy. his binders arrived and he seemed really happy, I couldn't stop grinning. probably made my day.

he told me we were like jayce and viktor which made me very "!!!!" too. plus the bonus that we're both science nerds.

er... parents yelling downstairs, but it's unimportant. I started watching a novela with my mom. I liked Pantanal, but some of the words were a bit confusing. no, I actually don't know what "foreign debt" is in portuguese.

quiet day today. I have school tomorrow, but I need to paint my shirt for wednesday...

eye itchy... hayfever...

[1nhaler]

[1nhaler]

i lay my head , devoted to you .

[1nhaler]

bumped into some photos last year of when I got to hold owls at a nature reserve. I fucking LOVE owls

ignore the odd saturation levels on my phone :p

[1nhaler]

we live forever and we love to live

[1nhaler]

Every little thing makes me think me of you .

You're the mesmerizing blue hour that coats my room in a faint ceurelean,

You're the flowers blowing in the air and dancing along with it,

Youre the singing cicadas late at night,

You're everything sweet in life .

You .

[1nhaler]

today was quiet. woke up a little late and had lunch before going to the gym again. came home, drew a little before falling asleep for a bit.

I didn't get to talk to my favourite person very much today which made me a little sad, but that's ok. he was just busy.

we started watching a shitty movie together on call but I had to hop off midway through since my mom was calling me to watch a movie with my parents. my mom is very fond of him, it's so silly. I like it.

I want to be good for him. i like it, I like having a drive to be good. to be better. I like him more than my heart knows how to feel and more than my words know to express. but I won't ramble too much.

[1nhaler]

I've sobered up enough now to where I'm almost fully normal aside from a little buzz.

today was also really good! I woke up hella late, drew a bit before going to the gym for about 20 minutes. came home, worked on a commission before going out for pizza.

but that's all mostly inconsequential.

me and my favourite person hopped onto a call. he had some whisky so I went "I'll join!!!" and poured myself a fairly fat cup of wine. I don't actually know how big it was, but it was enough to get me a bit drunk.

I don't actually remember very much, but I can piece it together. a lot of happy and laughing. I don't think I've felt this happy and comfortable in a while, just giggling and mucking about. if this is what being drunk is like everytime, no wonder people do it so often.

I don't think it was the alcohol that was the part that made it so nice, though.

[1nhaler]

But first they must catch you 🏳️‍⚧️ Prints