1nsanelust

[1nsanelust]

How is it going?

I don't know where to exactly start. Last time I wrote in this digital “diary” of mine was October 2023 where life was extremely confusing and I was really lost. We are now in the year 2024. I would like to say I have changed since then but.. That'd be a lie. I've had changes in my life but myself, not so much. 

Here's what's happened so far. In november 2023 my family bought a house two hours away from what used to be home the last 17 years, left school the same month and didn't go back until late january of 2024, got put into a credit recovery program in order to graduate high school, traveled around the new area ive moved to, finished the credit recovery program in april, went prom shopping, then went to prom in may, graduated in may, connected with someone after 4 days of graduation (we went to the same school, were just too shy to speak to each other), hung out in our local park because it turned our we only lived 10 minutes away from each other (i was extremely shocked because… what a coincidence??).  And since then I've just been enjoying life and taking it slow because what's the rush? Life is too precious and valuable to rush. Take your time, stop and take a look around, enjoy yourself and breathe. 

But yeah that sums up most of it, of course there's like so much more stuff but so far those are the main events. This year has been extremely grounding and peaceful. Insanely scared of growing up to become an adult because not too long ago it felt like I was waking up to log onto zoom of my freshman year of highschool. But no, I am now 18, a highschool graduate, enjoying my summer, and getting ready for college.

But nonetheless I'm extremely grateful, excited (and nervous) for what life has to offer me. Until then (because I have no idea when I'll update this silly little blog again), take care xx!!

-Lust

[1nsanelust]

Hey, the last time (first time) i wrote here was back in june. A lot has happened (not really). School has been a b word.

The end of June my dog got sick but he pulled through in July, thank god because I don't know what i would've done without him. August was just a bit overwhelming because of that and school didn't help with that feeling. September was quite hectic, the first two weeks were rough just because I was way over my head and they started assigning so much stuff. And the fact that i dont have wifi doesn't help. Because how am I supposed to do my work if i dont have wifi? Also I've been missing a lot of school. Anxiety kicks my ass every year. I feel like sometimes I'm just dramatic about stuff because my parents are always saying I am so then I just feel like shit about it and end up crying later on. But i wish people were just mindful about stuff like damn keep your opinions to yourself. If you dont have nice stuff to say then dont say it at all. Anyways, I saw Bruno Major since he went on tour this year. If you don't know who I'm talking about. He's a singer, quite talented in my opinion. Genres are r&b - soul. If you like that then you should check him out. His concert was quite fun and I enjoyed my time but the crowd was kinda lame. A week or two later I went and saw arctic monkeys. I was over the fucking moon. They've been my favorite band since the 7th grade. The first song I acknowledged was ‘no buses’ if i remember correctly and woah i've been hooked on ever since. I was like a little kid all over again. Like I had no worries in the world. To this day I still can't believe I saw them.

Now it's october. Still on cloud nine from that day. But the only difference is that im filled with anxiety, stressed as heck over the fact that i have an essay due, two pieces of class work due, a packet to finish for tuesday, a stupid mock trial to read, plus i have to move all my shit out of my current room because my sister is moving back in, AND i have to get a gift for my dad, it's his birthday soon. And my parents wonder why I'm stressed. ‘You don't work, what the hell are you stressed about’ (they didn't exactly say that, they don't speak english but they said something similar, just not in english of course).

Until later, bye lovelies, take care.

(if you're wondering how i managed

to upload this, i go to coffee shops a lot.)

-Lust

[1nsanelust]

This is weird. I never actually thought what I would write as an ‘intro’ like this isnt going to be formal or anything. I'll be writing as I usually write. And not think about how others are gonna see this because then I'll just start getting nervous and sugar coat the shit i’ll be writing. here’s a bit about myself for now. Please keep in mind that it’ll be very vague though because I don't want anyone to try and guess who I am even though there's a shit ton of people on this app. But i like being safe, and you just never know.

I'm in my last year of high school. I love listening to music. I'm usually online because I’m a lonely fuck. I'll keep my gender to myself because people are sexist and rude. If anyone somehow sees this and wants to address me by some sort of name just go ahead and call me Lust since it's my user. But yeah. I’ll be writing a bit of anything and everything.

this will be like a diary.

-Lust