1yearsingle

[1yearsingle]

It’s coming...

... Just be patient

[1yearsingle]

The dream

When I was doing this challenge i remember having a very weird vivid dream. I was on one side of a stream while a girl was on another. We were both blowing these little wood sailboats down the stream. As the dream started to progress I noticed the girl was getting ahead of me and I was afraid because I liked here and I wanted to be beside her so I frantically started trying to blow my sailboat faster to catch up but the distance kept growing. Just as I was about to lose sight of her i heard her whisper to me. Stop trying to hard to catch up to me, if you slow down eventually I will catch up with you. As i turned around there she was on the other side of the stream slowly blowing her sailboat closer and closer to mine. I then start to slow my frantic breathing and instead steadily continue to ease by sailboat down the stream. Before I knew it our sailboats were sailing side by side.

[1yearsingle]

Interesting Tidbit

Near the end of my 1 year single I was driving my mom somewhere and I remember this conversation

Me: You realize that the next woman I start dating will end up being your daughter in law Mom: That’s horrible why would you say that Me: Because it’s not going to be rushed. I’m not going to go off dating any girl I want to be with. I’m going to be a friend and find out who that person is, and if I decide to date her it’s only going to be because she will be the one. Mom: That’s stupid you shouldn’t say things like that.

[1yearsingle]

The End...

... The suspense must be killing you.

[1yearsingle]

Now what?

So I've basically gone over all my past relationships. Which is quite funny for me to look back on my very first kindergarten crush, all the way to my most recent relationship. I want to let all my  19 followers ((very pathetic, but I don't really care) Especially because of the fact that the majority of my followers are people I actually know and talk to outside tumblr life) know that from here I plan to report on how the mission of being one year single goes, and also update on further details of past relationships as I remember them. I would love to hear feedback as to what everybody thinks of this thus far, and also if there are any questions any people may have.  Thank you for your time. -Jeymz 

[1yearsingle]

The single life

This whole being single thing has given me time to really look back at my many failed relationships and there's one important thing I've noticed that they all had in common. I've always felt complete when I was with a girl, like somehow being in a relationship made me a better person, but the reality is that being in a relationship only took my mind off all my many problems and things I had/have to do. I also find that not being in a relationship always seems to help me get along with other people a lot better. I guess not having someone that loves me a lot makes me want everybody to love me a little bit. In my work life it's improved my ability to deal with stupidity as opposed to getting frustrated and walking away from it. I'll admit though I still have my moments where I really wish I had someone who was there for me, someone to love, but I guess that's what my dog is for xD (P.S. Karma seems to like me being single a whole bunch!) 

[1yearsingle]

T355.... (The last time I dated before making this blog)

Oh man this one I have been dreading for awhile. Not so much because it was a bad relationship. If anything I think it was by far the best relationship I had ever been in. Probably ever will be in but that's besides the point. So here's the story. After Ashley 2... I spent a lot of time alone. Kinda of just isolated myself. Was in one of the moods where I wasn't looking to get into a relationship, but if one so passed me by I would consider it so long as I could be happy with said person. I think after all my other failed relationships, I finally got into that mode where I knew what I wanted, and didn't want to settle for less. Then one random night I wake up and need cigarettes. So I drive down to the local gas station. And as I am walking in I pass a girl who is walking out. I looked at her and for some reason she seemed familiar. Now I could have easily just brushed it off and never looked. But I did a double take, and what do you know she was looking right back at me and was the girl I used to work with at my old job when I dated Jess. I was excited to see her, and despite my normal self, decided to ask her for her number so we could catch up. When I finally worked up the balls to txt her I was shocked that her old BF was no longer around. The guy she was like sooo into finally fucked up and she left him. I was naturally intrigued, but didn't have high hopes of ever dating her, seeing as how she was like light years cooler than me. Well we started talking, then we started hanging out. The more we talked and hung out the more I grew to like her. It was one of those bliss type situations where we literally agreed on everything. It was almost like fate had brought us together, and eventually I asked her to go out with me. Before I asked her though, I explained some things about my past, some pretty bad things, and explained that I had learned from them and wasn't that type of guy anymore. After that I told her that I wanted to be a part of her life, and to my surprise she said she wanted to be a part of mine too. After that we started dating. It was great, we spent so much time together it almost felt natural spending time with her. She was the greatest gf I had ever had, and because of that never ever wanted to lose her. I was smoking a lot at the time, and when we met I started smoking even more. Exploring my sub conscious with her around was fun because religions suddenly made sense, and people didn't frustrate me around her. She always listened to my theories, which in turn made me come up with more and more about how our universe and life is. It got to the point where I literally thought that anything anybody said was possible, and most likely happened somewhere throughout time. Eventually it drove me to insomnia, which made my mental issues kick in and drove me to the point of insanity. Around that time I though that all these things were happening to me because she was now a part of my life. I had finally found my soulmate and now that she was there, everything in my life was going to be okay because I could stop searching. Then I started throwing god into the equation, which made me get all fucking backwards, and I ended up asking her dad's permission to marry her. He sat me down and told me that he wanted me to do a few things first, but that he was happy I made her happy, and once I got these things done, would be okay with it. I felt so relieved because I thought he knew all the things I was going to do, and he knew I was going to ask his permission. It was really bad. I ended up being institutionalized for a few days and when they released me, Tess had sent me all my items via mail, and pretty much up and left me. I never did get a clear reason. She said that I had lied to her the last time we spoke, but about what exactly I'm not sure. The worst part of it all was I felt I could be so completely honest with this girl, that I told her everything. All the bad shit about my life, all the good shit. I never left out anything that I felt she deserved, or that I would want to know if put in her situation. I really do miss and love her very much. And though they say time will heal all wounds (and trust me I'm not trying to be dramatic here) I highly doubt I will ever be able to not love, not think about, or not want to be with her. She was my everything. I thought for a long time maybe it's because I didn't have any closure, and that may be the case. But even if in some fucked up way I did find out why she left me, or why she suddenly felt the need to never talk to me again, I still wouldn't stop missing her. I fucking made her a page and used the only password of mine she has ever needed to know, but I doubt she will ever see it or even care to know how I feel, because she doesn't want me anymore. I'm sorry to be so girly about this, but it would take a lot to fully understand just how much I loved not only this girl, but the way I was when I was with her. I don't think I will ever be that happy again.

[1yearsingle]

[1yearsingle]

Truf

[1yearsingle]

It's lazy days like these...

...That make me remember how awesome it is to have a girlfriend to keep u company instead of wasting my day like I did.

[1yearsingle]

Ashley 2 (AKA "Bad Ashley")

After my little fuck up I decided to be single for awhile. I remember very specifically not wanting to rush anything. So I took my time. Waited it out. Lived alone in a motel xD. It was affordable. Anywho we meet off match.com, i had extra cash to pay for a membership. I see her on my daily 5 or whatever and she looked cute seemed interesting enough. I message her and we eventually talk more and more until we want to meet. We clicked right away her high energy and wanting to go out made me step out of my comfort zone I had built and enjoy life. I started getting rather creative and wanting to do things with my life. I wont pry into our sexual relationship but I will say it was very good, and that gets into why we stayed together later on. What happened was when I started working hard to get places and working towards a future we were in that phase where we were both seeing each other a lot. She lived rather far away and it cost quite a bit in fuel. I started trying to budget and she kept wanting to go out, and do things, expensive things, and I would over shop. I started wanting to cut the extra cost to pick her up and go around, and we started to distance. I think for me she just got boring, I couldn't find any real depth under it all. We eventually met later on but it wasn't anything better. I think she just wasn't into the stuff I was into. She didn't like to have any distance. But yeah. So that's that =/

[1yearsingle]

When I watch this, it reminds me how awkward that friend zone line can be with girls. I've rarely even tried to be friends right off the bat, I usually just rush into relationship. But this guy takes the cake, wow he's bad xD

[1yearsingle]

Charmaine

Okay. So here's the deal, you all are going to hate me for this post, but alas I have to be honest. So near the end of my relationship with Nicole we had an argument and broke up. I met Charmaine through my friend Josie, as she went to school with her. One day Charmaine happened to see a video with me in it and had commented on how attractive she thought I was or something. The details till this day are still not completely known. Anywho Charmaine was like an angle. She was perfect in almost every way. She loved everything I was about, and even listened to my ramblings about techy shit and what not. Well Charmaine and I started hanging out quite a bit and before I knew it we did stuff. NOT SEX!!!!, but stuff none the less. Like that grammar right there? fuck it I'm drinking! Anyways we started dating and then suddenly Nicole did this 180 in her personality and wanted to actually "try" to make the relationship work. Part of me felt horrible for wanting to be with Charmaine, while the other half of me felt bad for letting Nicole go through all this change and not at least "try" to make it work between us. So anyways I moved, and was dating both of these women at the same time. Alright tumblr let me have it, I know what I did was wrong, and fucked up, but I've had it done to me multiple times at this point and really don't give a fuck So there I am, being a player, and dating two chicks at the same time. During this time Nicole was basically the same old bitch she's always been, meanwhile Charmaine was this perfect woman who never did anything wrong, refused to have sex (which btw is fine with me) and did everything like an innocent girl. Here's the thing about Charmaine and I. She was soooo perfect, she made my faults, or whatever you want to call them a 100 times more visible. It got to the point where I actually felt bad for wanting to spend time with her because I felt she deserved someone soooo much better than me. Finally after awhile I realized 2 things, women are hard as fuck to please one at a time, yet alone 2, and two, I never want a woman to cheat one me, and being in that position made me realize just how fucked that shit was. So what did I do you may ask? Well I broke the news to Charmaine, who to my surprise actually didn't try to kill me. Instead she seemed okay with it. OMG that girl. I'm telling you she's amazing! Till this day she is the only girl I ever regret dating, simply because of the fact that we're not friends anymore =/. Then I told Nicole, who basically said "FUCK YOU" and never had anything to do with me after that. So yeah. 2 great ending one lonely single Jeymz. XD

[1yearsingle]

Another little break in time.

I wanted to take a break from going over and over my past to clearify some things up about me and possibly shut down any questions you people may have. P.S. I do like your messges =D I am at a point in my life where I have reached a certain, realization I guess you could say, that I know what I want out of life. I know where I'm going in this messed up universe, I'm just struggling to get there. With that comes a certain level of commitment I seek with a woman. Someone who could eventually meet my friends and family, and be an involved person in my life, much like I plan to be there for her when she needs or wants my support, but with all that being said, I have dated a wide variety of women, those of which who's morals have been consistent, but each had their differences none the less. I've been used before, I've seen the types of girls who are super shy, the types who seemingly just go with the flow (those are by far my fav type btw) and the types of girls who are BABY CRAZY!!!! I've seen the bisexual ones and the cheating kind (those are my least fav, pretty sure they are everybody's worst type though) and I've figured out how to read women and notice the signs early on. But this part of me always conflicts that argument with the fact that my own past is ultimately not one that I am bragging about or particularly proud of, therefore people can change just like I have, and although their past may point to one thing, doesn't mean that that is always the case. With all that said I had a "meeting" not a date!!! My friend, a girl, and Karma my lovable dog all went to grab some food and chill at the park. She seemed nice, it was the first time meeting her. She seemed like the kind of person who wants things her way kind of girls, so I'm not so sure where that will go, but all in all it was nice to get out for a change and meet someone new. It could also be that she was very tough to read. Typically I am alone with people the first time i meet them, so I get a chance to talk about things, and go out and do stuff. But I figured I'm looking for a friend to start and grow into a relationship, plus if u can't get along with my friend, then we might not get to ever hang out. My friends are always in my life for the better!

[1yearsingle]

It's not how many things we've failed at that defined us, it's what we've learned from our mistakes that make us who we are!

Meh

[1yearsingle]

Nicole

Okay so after dating Jaimy and our unfortunate ending, I began dating a girl named Nicole. Now Nicole already had a kid, and to all those women who have kids out there. I think it wise you first be aware what type of guy I was. I used to be the guy who would do anything for a girl. I used to take care of her kid, deal with the occasional argument. It eventually turned into a daily thing with us. I mean if it wasn't her being mean it was her possibly cheating, or over working me by having me take care of her kid during my only 12 off hours. It got to the point where I felt like I was doing everything. Then the sex went down, which sucked. It ended horribly but I have to save that for the next post as it segways into my next relationship. But long story short, we broke up an since have not been friends. I felt like I lost in that relationship, mainly because as fucked up as the situations i was put in were, it still felt like the closest thing to a family I ever really had. It taught me a lot about what I am willing to put into a relationship, and what I want out of one.

[1yearsingle]

Jaimy

Now shortly after dating Hannah I began dating this girl named Jaimy. Now Jaimy wasn't the normal type of girl I would go for, but there was something about her I could trust, and ultimately I respected her for what she had done in life. We rushed into a relationship and soon found ourselves spending an awful lot of time together. Now a month or two into our relationship I was at work one night and receive a message from some random dude telling me he just fucked my gf. At first I just laughed and didn't think anything about it. Then when I tried calling Jaimy her phone went straight to voicemail. I then received a picture taken that night of her eating with him at waffle house. For obvious reasons I was a little ticked off. When I finally got a hold of her she denied the whole thing saying it was just a misunderstanding and that she never had sex with him she just stayed the night. For some stupid reason beyond me I believed her and continued on in our relationship. This whole situation played a huge roll in the decline of our relationship though because after that point I felt like I couldn't really fully trust her. We moved in together and started the couple life, slowly we kept growing apart, bickering, the usual. Then something in my past came to light that she was not at all okay with. I denied it's existence of course, but in reality I was just too overwhelmed by so many things I couldn't process any of my actions. It ended very sadly with her walking out on me, and me attempting suicide. It was not at all a point in my life I was proud of but I learned 2 very valuable lessons from that relationship. 1. Never ever ever let a girl become such a big part of your life that you don't want to go on living without her, and 2. Always be completely honest with the one you love, or you'll end up regretting it. I can't honestly sit here and say that part of me doesn't miss what we at one time had, but I am at the same time very happy she moved on and seems to be happier than ever now. I don't think I could have ever brought that girl as much happiness as her husband does now.