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gonna get high and cry maybe

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When I forget to stay busy for a split second and I get a wave of everything that's ever hurt me.

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its genuinely feels like i'm fading away and no one gives a fuck

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please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, i lost interest in life back in 6th grade

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Christa Wolf, from her novel titled "Cassandra," originally published in 1983

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Being with me is like torture I think

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Some nights I wonder if my absence would even echo in your world.

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to forget you (2020)

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i do believe on some level that real love is ugly. i think we’ve convinced ourselves otherwise by ingesting highly filtered staged moments of other people’s relationships and telling ourselves that maybe we are too ugly for love. but real love — it’s waking up in the dead of morning with dried drool on your face, it’s bleeding in a bed that isn’t yours, it’s having a panic attack in the park and not knowing how to verbalize what you’re feeling, it’s not shaving + not apologizing, it’s crying because you need something you cannot name + much more — all while being held.

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“There’s a special place in my heart for the ones who were with me at my lowest and still loved me when I wasn‘t very loveable.”

— Unknown

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—Franz Kafka, "The Diaries" (from the travel diaries, 1912)

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