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3am-writes · 3 years ago

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Gaara thinks

howdy y’all :) my first real post aaaaaaa pls lmk what y’all think!!

context: unspecified soulmate au in which itachi didn’t do the massacre (danzo did; it was stopped before he finished), shisui lives, sasuke’s orochimaru time was a 7 year long mission (assigned by fifth hokage itachi), everyone is HAPPY and GOOD, and the trio’s like. 21-22 ish

word count: 1704 pairings: sasunarugaa (sasunaru, narugaa, sasugaa), vague shiita rating: like upper end pg-13??? idk dude

Ever the quiet, thoughtful type, Gaara spends much of his free time thinking. Observing. It’s hard not to; his soulmates thrive on and live for his attention, when they can get it. He thinks they’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him. Neither of them are quite perfect, but they complement each other, and they love him wholly, and that’s quite enough.

Gaara thinks Naruto is like the sun, casting a sweet, summery warmth over an appreciative sand with his blinding smile, unmatched energy, and optimism. Ramen suits him, honestly. It’s filling, warm, and the noodles take on the flavor of one’s chosen broth so nicely, bringing the dish together seamlessly. Naruto would make a wonderful diplomat. He will be a good Hokage, even if Shikamaru thinks he takes challenges too personally; even if he can’t sit and focus on a mission report to save his life (Sasuke is a perfect interpreter for his Naru’s fantastic tactical memory). For someone who hadn’t known a pure, loving human interaction until he was well into his Academy years, Naruto can’t seem to figure out how not to treat a person lovingly. He is an ever-burning furnace of goodness and kindness and light, despite understanding some of humanity’s darkest aspects– things that he knew he could reflect, and chose not to. Naruto Uzumaki, in Gaara’s opinion, has every right to burn Konohagakure to the ground. Sometimes, he still doesn’t understand why Naruto doesn’t do so, until Naruto gives him the simplest, “What good would that do?” None, he understands. It wouldn’t bring Naruto any more peace than he has found in his work as a shinobi. One of Konoha’s finest, he knows. He takes such pride in his achievements, as he should. Gaara knows, firsthand, the adversity Naruto has had to overcome to find himself in his current position. Naruto was his first love. Naruto’s talent for understanding people on such an intimate level, combined with his sparkling blue eyes and sweet whiskers, made it all too simple for Gaara to succumb to the charm that he’s still sure Naruto didn’t know he had. Even with years of traveling and changing lives on his resume, Naruto can’t acknowledge that he has accumulated a bit of an international fan club. It’s a shame, really; Naruto deserves to know that he’s appreciated. He deserves a place among the soulmates he puts on such a pedestal: Sabaku no Gaara, the youngest Kazekage in history; and Sasuke Uchiha, the man who spent his formative years as legendary Sannin Orochimaru’s right-hand man in order to funnel information out of Otogakure and sabotage the efforts of his temporary leader to destroy his former home. Gaara thinks Naruto ought to give himself some more credit– not only for accomplishing great things on his own, but for being a warm, attractive flame for his soulmates to gravitate toward. Naruto is far from down-to-earth, but he and his amazing wisdom are a tangible anchor for an overthinking Gaara, and a hot-headed Sasuke (even if, sometimes, their flames feed off each other). Despite his warmth, Naruto isn’t the timeless romantic that an overly bookish, romance-adoring preteen Gaara thought he would want in a soulmate, should he have one. Naruto is brash, and loud, and confident, and has a tendency to take up the entire bed if no one joins him before he falls asleep. Naruto is too reactive for undercover work, has been banned from three different libraries due to an inability to whisper, and can shut down a ramen stand with his appetite. Naruto is also, however, one of the most gentle humans Gaara has ever met (rivaled only by their mutual soulmate). Naru, his Naru, greets him with sweet kisses - hands guiding his gaze upward with a tender cup of his cheeks, one thumb tracing the curve of his lower lip, stopping just past the corner only when he leans in to replace the touch with his lips - and hasn’t forced a single square inch of his body to know the displeasure that is never having been kissed by Naruto Uzumaki. Naru is so easily excitable, too. There’s no guesswork involved in the half-shouted, surprised moan that Sasuke’s startling grab of his hips and nip at his neck elicits, and Gaara finds it refreshing to be able to know, without a doubt, that Naruto is happy and fulfilled. He writes his emotions on his face in a jarring neon, and when that billboard screams, from the tallest rooftop in Konoha, that he - Naruto Uzumaki - is so fervently in love with Gaara (despite of, or perhaps because of the confidential understanding that their unique life experience binds them so tightly), Gaara thinks that this might just be better than one of his romance novels.

Gaara thinks himself a bit cheesy for the comparison, but contrasting Naruto’s sun is Sasuke’s moon. Soft, pulling with a surprisingly gentle gravity, outwardly cold– but inviting, as he channels the sun’s light to bring a calm coolness to the desert expanse below. With a rather unmoving, apparently irked expression, one would think Sasuke’s presence was as bleak and intimidating as he tried so hard to make it, but Gaara finds himself noticing just the opposite. Sasuke is always collected, never giving off an energy that isn’t intentional. With his background and the reputation of his family and clan, Gaara can see how easy it is for some to find the persistent scowl… unsettling. He was never one of those people, but he didn’t always have the luxury of knowing that Sasuke Uchiha does, in fact, feel things other than disdain. Sasuke spent several years of his life carrying the wholehearted belief that he brought doom to those he loves. Any seven-year-old who cowered in fear as half his closest family was murdered in the middle of the night might feel the same way, especially with the knowledge that the carnage only stopped when the perpetrator was incapacitated by his own older brother (who - after the death of their father - had to assume the duties and responsibilities taken on by the head of the Uchiha clan, at the ripe age of thirteen). It had taken years for Sasuke to recover from that idea, though the trauma still occasionally rears its head at the worst of times– Gaara understands. Sasuke has a much bigger heart than he wants to believe, and Gaara thinks that that might be why he agreed to throw seven years of his life into a mission that wouldn’t directly benefit him in any way. “He poses a threat to you both, and I have the opportunity to mitigate that threat,” he would reason when questioned. Despite that valid enough reason, Gaara thinks his reasoning might still have had something to do with feeling like he owes his older brother. Their introduction was rocky at best, and Gaara thinks that the initial animosity might have been the reason for his short period of denial that he might have any feelings for the Uchiha– the arrogant, stuck-up, downright haughty Uchiha who challenged his confidence so readily, so coolly. Sasuke had not a clue what he was getting himself into, but such confidence in his own abilities had been offensive at the time, until that confidence claimed some ground to stand on. They were more alike than they cared to acknowledge, and Gaara thinks this fact may have helped him discover that he, himself, wasn’t quite as monstrous as his surroundings would have him believe. Gaara watched Sasuke’s evolution in stages - as secret meetings and stolen moments would allow - and grew to understand that the hard exterior was paper thin, with the physical resistance of an eggshell, once Sasuke was allowed to settle. Soulmates are sacred in Uchiha tradition; Sasuke made sure Gaara knew this. Sasuke openly worships the ground that he and Naruto walk on. His reserved public facade gave way to a doting, almost clingy closed-doors attitude. “No one simps like an Uchiha!” Shisui had told him, in response to questioning his reasons for planning his next anniversary with Itachi almost a whole year in advance. Gaara had thought it a joke, at the time– before Sasuke’s flowering conditions had been met. Sasuke blooms as a gardenia, under only the most comfortable of circumstances. With careful pruning, watering, and bulb maintenance, the gardenia reveals its soft, white petals and comfortable, jasmine-like scent on warm summer nights. It’s refreshing, Gaara thinks, to have a soulmate who understands his reservations, a soulmate for whom - much to his surprise - no number of romance novels could have prepared him for. Fingertips feathered over the nape of his neck as a free hand found his hip, drawing him in for a kiss; gentle, at first, and slow– until Sasuke thought it appropriate to interject a brush of his teeth over Gaara’s lower lip. It’s predictable, but Gaara still shudders. The care with which Sasuke carries him to the nearest soft surface is sharply contrasted by the bite marks Gaara knows he’ll find for the next few days, or the ropes Sasuke has pulled taut over Naruto’s tanned skin. Not everyone has the privilege of being able to see the inner workings of the mind of Sasuke Uchiha, and Gaara can appreciate that. Still, Gaara thinks that he might never quite get used to seeing Sasuke’s face soften while he sleeps, or his Sharingan whirl to life as he pins Gaara to the back of the just-closed front door, or his brow furrowed in concentration as he sinks into his latest library find… and that’s alright. Sasuke can keep a hint of his mystery.

Now, as Gaara pauses in his living room doorway, he thinks that he’s glad to have Sasuke home. He’s glad to know that Naruto, after so many years, has the peace of mind he so desperately craves. His house has been mostly empty for well over a decade, but he thinks sharing his space might not be so bad, with his current company. Sure, they’re sprawled across his couch and look much too comfortable for Gaara to wake them up so he can get the blanket he wants, but that’s fine. Gaara thinks his phone needs a new lock screen, anyway.

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