8bithealey-blog

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Im loving the yellow and pinks in nature today

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I just unearthed all these pictures from Anime USA 2008. OMG I LOVE DJ AND APPERS. They really embraced me and let me be my full drunken weeaboo.

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Parallel Universes

I was in the same bed I was already sleeping in, but the house was different. Maybe the walls were green, instead of white, and I was on the second floor, instead of the basement. I heard noises downstairs and muffled talking. They were discussing taking the big TV and the bumps in the night sounded of cords being undone and pulled through the entertainment system. I woke up my lover and told them we were being robbed. He grabbed a small revolver and proceeded downstairs. I heard him confront the two burglars, and then two shots were fired and I heard one yell out, “Why would you do that?” and the voice.. sounded.. familiar?

I blinked and the bed stayed the same, but the room shifted. I reached to the other side and my hand slid over my love’s warm skin. He shifted slightly and I wanted to tell him about my dream, but didn’t want to wake him. And I don’t know if I truly believe it was a dream. I think I just shifted into a different timeline and I’m so thankful I’m back in this timeline and not stuck that one.

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Pokemon in a new relationship

So I have chosen to not play Pokemon Go while on dates with my new guy. He’s nerdy, but not into Pokemon, so I hold back. I know I’m intense and obsessive, so on dates, I abstain for quality time with him. Last night as we left a burger joint he points to a sign, “Hey babe, Look! They are a Pokestop!”

“Oh I know! I don’t play around you.” (Plus its two blocks from my studio. I hit that stop at least 4 times a day already.)

“I think you're cute when you are excited, I don’t mind if you play it when with me.”

I look at his sweet face and shake my head, “You won’t think its cute this fall when the real game comes out and I disappear for a week and ask off days from work so I can play nonstop.”

His face twitched a little, “The real game? Is this not a real game? Take off work? You’re joking?”

I just smiled sweetly and decided he’s not ready to see my game journal where I write in first person about my Pokémon adventures as I play. He’s a keeper, even if he’s no Pokemon fanatic.

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Current Events

I can't talk outloud about the Pulse shooting in Orlando because it breaks my heart more then I can coherently express. If anybody needs support, or a shoulder to cry on - I'm here for you. But for me, I'm going to play video games and cook, because it helps my heart more then reading posts on social media. I worry my silence gives off the appearance of not caring, but only have the energy to listen to what others have to say and give comfort.

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Depression

I’ve been struggling with a bought of depression, which means the business always takes a hit. I’ve found that I’ve been finding solace in the lucid daydreams I conjure up before I fall asleep, which means I’ve been sleeping more then I should. I want to get through this and have taken some steps. I’m not ready to talk about most of it yet, but I just wanted to let people know I’m trying and so maybe sometime soon, I’ll be better at correspondence and running my business like a tight ship. We’ll see!

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#Pokeroses shipping out today. The love notes yall send each other melt my heart.

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Do you still make the poke roses?

Yes! I’m had the store shut down for a while, but I’m just getting it back opened up. All the roses are in stock!

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So I have relisted Peach, but at a higher price then before. (I hate to say it, but I needed to raise my hourly rate to accommodate my more expensive city life.) Obviously, I don't like having such high prices, so I figured I'd offer cheaper alternatives on new designs I want to make! So I'm working on a Daisy quilt mock up. I'd love some feedback. I wanted her to have a different feel then Peach. She's a little more boisterous in expression and body language, where Peach is flirty and coy. What color BG do you think is best?

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Be my friend!

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I’m trying to get back to being active on social media. Here is the finished project of my last order. She looks a little lumpy because my queen sized couch/bed isn’t a great location for product pictures. Lesson learned, I’ll get my wall set up back online. Check the amazing fabric I found at Joann’s that I made into a matching pillow case. Its not available online, so I’m not sure if it’ll be in your local store, but snatch it up while you can!!

My etsy store is still going to be hibernating for another month, but follow updates on facebook (https://www.facebook.com/8bitHealey/) if you want.

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Dan is right. I love him and his insights. Go tell the ones you love that you do. That they are important to you.

"What's the best way to express your love for someone?"

(I received the above ask.fm question which tapped directly into my current situation but when I pressed “post” the question changed into something totally different! I meant what I wrote so I saved it and posted it below)

Tell them. Tell them often. I’ve spent all weekend trying to cope with the sudden death of a childhood friend. We knew each other since elementary school - thirty years - and now he’s gone. And one of the most painful things about facing this loss is realizing that I loved him but never actually said so. I don’t know if he would have readily accepted such a declaration. I don’t think he was the “I love you” type. I can’t recall ever hearing him say those words out loud. But whatever his shortcomings, and despite my departure from the U.S. which put real distance between us (physical and metaphorical), he was like family. In every way that matters he WAS family. I spent most of my life uncomfortable with “love,” both the word and the idea. Every few years I’d fall for a woman and throw myself at her, declaring my “love” like a sledgehammer, and usually that scared her away. What I should have done was recognize that love isn’t just romantic and acknowledge that my friends - the ones who kept me going through the darkest of years - were just as worthy of being told as such. TL;DR you never, ever know what will happen to the people closest to you so never, ever let them forget how you feel about them.

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I'm at Cupcake Royale and Easy Street. (at Cupcake Royale - West Seattle)

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I know I complain of anxiety but it’s not all bad. Three weeks of job searching and I found a textile production job in Tukwila, WA. Since spoonflower showed me that I could work in the industry without just cutting fabric at Joanns (which is still a job I think I’d enjoy, they just pay so low I don’t think I could support myself doing), I was terrorized I wasn’t qualified and couldn’t get hired without the friend connection I had at spoon. But working there, gave me enough experiance to get hired at Kotis Design in the garment sewing department. I could cry I’m so happy. And sure, I work with industrial sized machines that are blisteringly loud without noise canceling headphones in a blue collar factory job that has nothing to do with my expensive private school degree, but 18yr olds make shit decisions for their future selves. I love my coworkers who all sew and craft. I love that pixelated designs are translated into stitches and a machine knits them into reality and I’m the person maintaining that machine! I go home covered in machine grease with stiff fingers and my body feeling hit by a truck, but I’d take this over any office job. So despite my anxiety, I’m overwhelmingly thankful.

Today for the company holiday party, I showed up to work at 8am, with no idea where we were going. Only that it was an overnight. I had a bloody Mary that had every topping imaginable in it (meat, cheese, vegetables) on a bus trip with the Grinch movie playing. After a pit stop of beer and pizza they put us on tiny planes and flew us to a resort island. We played drunk scavenger hunt games and had a seafood dump buffet dinner. I seriously can’t even have dreamed this up when I quit Spoonflower and road tripped across the country. So yeah, I have so much to be thankful for that I want to get my anxiety under control so I can enjoy this crazy blessed life I have. I ran in a human sized gerbil ball, sucked the juice out of crawfish heads, and am staying in lovely cottage. I’m not allowed to feel bad and I’m going to get my shit under control.

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How anxiety manifests

December is a very anxious month for me. My business is overloaded with demanding clients and I resist in awkward attempts to protect my sanity. I stop reading any messages, which is shit customer service and only check to see if current orders have any questions. It's going to take months to process old messages. I still haven't read everything from April, the last occasion when my store had a sudden burst of popularity. This year I stopped getting on my laptop. I've been doing all tasks through my phone. I take pictures of WIPs and then don't share them. I don't know why. I think it's nerve wrecking to think a customer might see their purchase unfolding and want me to change something. I haven't been sleeping more then 4 hours despite how desperately I want to. Today I drank a lot while on a company trip hoping that being away from the house and unable to craft would help my mind relax and succumb to sleep. Not even close. This year I really pulled back and took less orders for December. Next year I think I might take the store offline. It's been wild. I'll post a listing with the customers name in the item description and others will swoop in and purchase it instead. Lol who does that? Anyway, I love everybody and don't want to stop crafting and social media. It's just going to be finding balance in 2016. I'm moving into a 300sf West Seattle studio and on a waiting list to rent an art space to sew in that's within walking distance of home. This north Carolina girl has got to adapt to big city life. I also need to sleep.

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It's been a crazy ride moving to the west coast. I've been stressed out and not crafting barely at all. Facing the choice between living in a boring area with two bedrooms or downtown in a studio, we chose the trendy expensive studio with a view of the cascade mountains. Only time will tell how much I regret it. I am really excited currently. We own nothing, so all 300 SF of it will be spacious until we can afford a bed, two desks, or a dresser. I don't even own any dishes. Just a reusable plastic coffee cup. With no TV to face a couch, I hope we angle it toward the window. I worry we won't get the place, even if we have the money. With my refusing to pay my student loan debt and his lack of credit, I know we look like two sketchy ass people. I'm anxious we dreamed too big. But I do really want to live there.

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Been working on a ton of pokerose orders because my sewing station is less then ideal. Which pikachu do you like best. His mouth expression is a little different from one yellow flower to the next. Or do you like him nestled in a pokeball rose best? I have two quilts due before christmas, two more that I'd like to try to finish before Christmas and one free contest quilt I'd also like to finish. So hopefully I'll post some sewing stuff soon!