99chaos

[99chaos]

how are we coping guys

[99chaos]

“Good Omens Season 2 will be quiet, and gentle, and romantic.”

[99chaos]

AND YOU BETTER DO IT AGAIN

[99chaos]

The Apology Dance ™️

bonus:

[99chaos]

I forgive you.

Don't bother.

[99chaos]

You organise an elaborate jane austen pride and prejudice dance party just to touch his hand. Normal behaviour

[99chaos]

their argument over Gabriel and how they "resolved" it set up the Final Fifteen of ep6 and is a microcosm of their relationship issues

The fight between Aziraphale and Crowley about Gabriel goes like this:

Aziraphale believes that it's Safest for them to deal with the gabriel situation by being involved and solving it together.

Crowley believes that it's Safest for them to get as far away from the Gabriel situation as possible, either by removing gabriel from them or themselves from him.

Aziraphale also believes that it's Right to help Gabriel, because Aziraphale believes in the innate goodness of everyone and everything.

Crowley believes that it's Right to not help Gabriel or frankly to care about him at all, because Gabriel hurt Aziraphale repeatedly over millennia and then tried to destroy him.

They approach this issue with such a difference in their core beliefs and values that they have to disagree, it's inevitable. And that would be fine. Except that the way they resolve this argument is utter bullshit.

First off, Aziraphale responds to Crowley with an ultimatum: do it my way or leave. (Which, hello, trauma from being cast out of heaven? Wtf Aziraphale. )

Crowley responds by telling Aziraphale he'll have to do this alone, and then predictably leaving.

Crowley only changes his mind and returns because he learns that Aziraphale is in real existential peril. Then they do a series of Things, none of which actually revolve their big disagreement.

Crowley offers a sort-of apology ("can we take it as stated?") but doesn't say what he's apologizing for. He doesn't tell Aziraphale what he thinks he got wrong (spoiler: because he absolutely doesn't think he Was wrong, and his belief is reinforced by the threat of destruction hanging over Aziraphale's head). It's "I'm sorry for whatever I said, get in the car" all over again.

Aziraphale doesn't even apologize lmao, and why should he? He must be right, because Crowley's back! And Crowley's doing their ritualistic "apology" dance that they use in place of actual fucking conversation. So Aziraphale doesnt need to acknowledge anything about his line of reasoning or his belief system, they can just carry on.

Especially because, crucially, Aziraphale doesn't know that Crowley was actually right! And helping Gabriel will put them both in extreme danger! And he doesn't know this, because Crowley didn't tell him!

Crowley didnt tell Aziraphale about the Book of Life punishment because he believes Aziraphale is Safest not worrying about that, and that it's Right for him to protect Aziraphale from that hurtful, harmful knowledge.

They literally do. not. discuss this issue ever again. They have no idea, or none that we're textually shown anyway, why the other reacted the way they did to Gabriel. They simply move forward with the problem, without even an iota of enlightenment about each other's points of view. They think they already know each other perfectly, right? They've been talking for millions of years, Crowley loves rescuing Aziraphale, etc.

So then we get to ep6. And it's really the same fundamental disagreement:

Aziraphale believes they will be Safest with their hands in the game.

Aziraphale believes it's Right to force Heaven, through what he has been manipulated into thinking is his new authority, to do Good (actual moral good, like he and Crowley do).

Crowley believes it's Safest for them both to stay as far away from the machinations of heaven, and by extension hell, as possible.

Crowley believes it's Right for him to reject Heaven as they once rejected him, to reject their whole dichotomous system in fact. He believes it's Right for Aziraphale to reject Heaven too, because Heaven tried to destroy Aziraphale.

And once again, Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale of the danger they're in - Armageddon the Sequel, plus Archangels being demoted and having their memory wiped.

They still do not and cannot understand one another's motives and beliefs here. Because they have never had this freedom of choice before these last few years, and in that time they have never talked about this openly. Weirdly, Gabriel's arrival gave them a chance to hash all this out. In another world, maybe they knew exactly what the other wanted, and could therefore choose each other at this critical juncture.

But that's not what happened.

(cue my "the irony of the serpent of Eden protecting someone he loves from knowledge" tag).

Edit to say, I have Thoughts about Why they communicate like this, which I'm trying to gather for another post.

[99chaos]

soft demon sad demon 💔

[99chaos]

michael sheen you MOTHERFUCKER

[99chaos]

"don't trust blondes"

"yep"

[99chaos]

The Coffee Theory

This theory is by the fantastic @jumbledstars on TikTok

This Theory is for everyone who felt betrayed or hurt by Aziraphale in the season 2 finale or just doesn’t trust The Metatron!!!

The theory goes that the coffee The Metatron gives Aziraphale made him "switch side"

When Metatron invited Aziraphale for a chat, Aziraphale made it clear that he does not wish to follow him until he took a sip from the coffee. Metatron quote on quote forces Aziraphale to drink it rather than offering it casually. After the first sip, Aziraphale suddenly agreed to chat with him. At that moment, Metatron bitterly glanced back at Crowley, catching his attention.

In the coffee shop, Metatron reveals his plan to make Aziraphale the new supreme archangel and commander of the heavenly host, which surprises Aziraphale as he wonders where he would get his coffee. This struck me as odd because we never saw him drink coffee in the series until now.

As Aziraphale walks home, his expression appears more disoriented than when he's in the bookshop, suggesting the coffee may be affecting his brain.

Aziraphale excitedly tells Crowley about the "good news," saying that Crowley can finally be an angel again. However, Crowley disagrees, seeing heaven as equally bad as hell.

Aziraphale comments, "Of course you would disagree with hell, you're the bad guys, but heaven..." This also strikes me as odd because Aziraphale doesn't usually talk about hell or demons in that manner anymore. The last time was during the car ride in season one before they crashed into Anathema.

Furthermore, Aziraphale wouldn't be motivated enough to make a change in heaven, as he and Crowley have been on Team Earth for a while now and seem content with it. Crowley notices this and tells Aziraphale, "We're better than that. YOU'RE better than that!" He senses that something is wrong with Aziraphale or at least suspects it.

After Crowley's confession and (let’s be honest) unexpected kiss (which left Aziraphale confused and regretful), Metatron returns to the bookshop, asking him if he's ready to go, contradicting what he said just 8 minutes ago about giving Aziraphale all the time he needs to make a choice. It's as if Metatron already knows what Aziraphale will choose.

I think Crowley's confession or kiss has momentarily snapped Aziraphale back to reality, as he shows genuine concern for his bookshop and is reluctant to leave. Although Metatron assures him that Muriel will look after it, Aziraphale still appears hesitant and confused.

When asked if he needs to bring something, Aziraphale seems lost and unsure of what to do. However, he eventually regains his composure and follows Metatron with a smile.

Thank you for reading! This theory came from @jumbledstars on TikTok and it’s way too good to ignore! Link to the original theory below!!!

[99chaos]

I haven't seen enough talk about the fact that Crowley's and Aziraphale's powers combined were powerful enough to hide the supreme archangel from all forces of heaven and hell. At some point between the first prevented apocalypse and this miracle, Metatron must've realised how powerful they were together and specifically planned this to tear them apart.

[99chaos]

don't know when we went from queerbaiting to

whatever the fuck this is

but i am so emotionally drained this "getting dumped by my idiot blonde boyfriend" year my dudes

like it's leaps better than before but jesus christ. at what cost.

[99chaos]

Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever. No. No, I don't suppose it does.

[99chaos]

i came here for a good time and look what i get

[99chaos]

Who else wants to just grab Crowley and scream this at him..... this is probably most of the fandom rn

[99chaos]