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By Elly Smallwood

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not to alarm anyone but is anybody else worried about how everybody is fucking stupid

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i love this subreddit so much

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any kind of burger counts if you consider it a burger

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Americans invented tbe worlds burgled and burglars to apply to robberies because the concept of losing their burger is the scariest thing to them

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something that ive learned over my years of being in anime/reddit/video game circles is that if someone describes something as a masterpiece, i know im going to hear a garbage opinion. i dont know why exactly, i cannot tell you why its specifically the word "masterpiece", but every time, every single time, something is described as a masterpiece, it is, at best, just okay. i dont know why, but its only redditors and anime fans who use this word and its never used accurately

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i am a white man who frequents a local chinese restaurant for lunch on mondays that caters more towards actually chinese customers instead of white residents and tourists. they make their own hand pulled noodles, theyre quite nice. the elderly woman who runs the place recognizes me and says "its nice to see you again" every time i go in. she knows that i know its cash only and i can use chopsticks however, every now and then, when i go in, there's a younger chinese guy working the front with the woman (several different guys, not the same dude) and he'll take my order instead. and, not knowing im a regular, will fucking profile me and give me these without asking

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Any beer under 5% feels like I'm a medieval guy hydrating with beer because it's safer to drink than the nearest body of freshwater

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My oil painting of an Uncrustable & Jar of Milk

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there's a lot to shit on kojima for but I gotta respect that

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Bro last night was trite and insisted upon itself

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i HATE learning anything new, ESPECIALLY when it's for work. that brain space is for Pokemon knowledge ONLY.

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absolutely terrified that ill find myself with other people at a place with one of those punching machines that measures how hard you punch and theyll want to do it and ill get peer pressured into doing it but ill punch it so weakly that the machine doesnt give me a number it just calls me a weak little piss boy and then the people that im with will call me a weak little piss boy and then a video of my weak punch will go around and ill be known as a weak little piss boy that cant punch. top five biggest fear honestly

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i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point