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self love is jerking off to yourself in the mirror

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There’s still joy in this world

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62 CALORIE VEGAN NO BAKE CARAMEL & OAT COOKIES ✨🍪

okwow that’s kinda a long title lmao

✨ INGREDIENTS:

90g oats (the brand i use is around 120 cal per 30 g, so yours may be more or less just check the back)

2 tbsp natural peanut butter/ any nut butter / or powdered peanut butter, which would be less calories i think. I’d recommend smooth and not crunchy butter, bc it’s easier to mix but whatever floats ur boat.

4-5 tbsp maple syrup or any sweet syrup stuff (walden farms makes a bomb ass 0 cal vegan caramel syrup and maple syrup so u could use that)

this recipe makes 13, pretty big, cookies, 62 cal each. * depending on what you use yours may be a little less in calories

Places oats in a small mixing bowl, and set aside. Add peanut butter and maple syrup in a small microwaveable bowl & place in microwave for about 20-30 seconds (this just makes it a lil easier to mix) When that’s done then grab a spoon and mix it together until it’s kind of a thick saucy consistency. That’s gonna be the ‘caramel sauce’. Mix all of the sauce into the bowl with the oats and use ur hands to mix it all in together. Messy and kind of gross, I know, but it’s the easiest way to make sure it’s all properly mixed together. Get a plate ready ( I used a large containers lid tho, again whatever floats ur boat) Scoop up the ‘batter/dough’ with a tsp and either shape and squish it with your hands or dunk it on the plate (or lid) and squish it down with the back of the spoon to make it into a big cookie shape. Do this until all the batter/dough is gone and then place the cookies in the fridge to stiffen for at least 30 minutes :)

you could change the measurements to make less, just make sure that the caramel sauce is nearly equal parts with the oats (just a little bit less than the oats). eat in moderation & ENJOY!! 💖

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Microwave Muffin-155.2 Calories

Requested from a long time ago

Ingredients:

-8 teaspoons whole wheat flour (68 calories)

-5 teaspoons mashed banana (31.2 calories)

-1 tablespoon almond milk (35 calories)

-¼ cup blueberries (21 calories)

-cinnamon (0 calories)

-vanilla extract (0 calories)

-baking powder (0 calories)

How To:

Mix and microwave!

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Me: I don't have an issue.

Also me: Let's eat under 300 calories a day and burn all of it off!

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OK SO earlier in the year i fucked this guy named named nathan, we had an odd lowkey kind of relationship. buuuut here's the catch, he has cancer. he's literally fucking dying. so, when his cancer came back, we split up. so naturally, (since he's hilarious, smart, and fucking adorable), i was completely hung up on him. last month he had surgery to try and get the tumor out of his spine, and he's been recovering for the last 3 or so weeks. so tonight, i invited him over out of pity under the guise of "catching up". and it was fun tbh. we ate food, watched a movie... and yeeeeah, we fucked. it was great sex, too. but i just don't have any feelings for him anymore. moral of the story, i'm proud of myself. i don't like him, dude. he's a narcissistic asshole and he seems to get off on hurting my fucking feelings. maybe i'll keep him on as a quality booty call when i wanna fuck but i just don't really like him anymore you know

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i think my friend is fucking my ex