acewitharrows

[acewitharrows]

king

[acewitharrows]

[acewitharrows]

I see his robot as an absolute win

[acewitharrows]

every time i make a post someone unfollows me. if y’all don’t want my posts then what do you want

[acewitharrows]

tfw too many people wanted to date cows

[acewitharrows]

Every time my extended family gets together in upstate ny, we (the Adults) all get wasted & at least 1 giant Family Scandal comes out…..tonight is that night..

[acewitharrows]

I had to see this image so now you do, too.

[acewitharrows]

*vomits up a dinosaur-shaped sponge* alright who switched out my pills

[acewitharrows]

Jimmy Woo, FBI agent and certified magician.

[acewitharrows]

Hello yes winning a shitty ex competition and watching a hagfish tear Alien-style through a fish carcass named after the boy who faked leaving the country instead of dumping me properly has done more for my mental health than the months of therapy he caused.

[acewitharrows]

Brie Grilled Cheese by charcuterie.chick

[acewitharrows]

Accidentally clicking on the trending tab on youtube is like being transported to a parallel reality where being funny is banned

[acewitharrows]

[acewitharrows]

just saying

[acewitharrows]

[on a first date] so the figs and the wasps rely on each other to live in the end even though the wasp dies inside the fig the figs cannot live on without the wasp and the wasps cannot live on without the fig to lay their eggs in. don’t you see how this is love in its purest form? would you be the wasp or the fig? 

[acewitharrows]

I wanna hire an evil advisor so bad. I want to pay some gay-coded little man to creep around my house saying ominous things and smirking to himself and punctuating every sentence with an evil little laugh while I pretend to be totally oblivious. And of course I ignore his evil advice, but I always have an excuse as to why, and he unconvincingly pretends to be okay with it, but later that night I hear him having an absolute meltdown in his room until he comes up with a new evil plan and bursts into a musical number that ends with maniacal laughter which continues for about 10 minutes

[acewitharrows]

was just Remembering how you’d be out with a friend and you’d each order a different cocktail and you’d ask “what’d you get?” and they’d read the description off the menu and you’d be like “ooh that sounds good” and then they’d say “try it!” and then you’d have a lil sip of their drink and they’d have a lil sip of your drink and you’d decide which one was best and you wouldn’t give each other a life-threatening respiratory infection