acrystalsea

[acrystalsea]

“People are only mean when they are threatened.”

— Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

[acrystalsea]

“I decided on you, don’t you get that? I decided on you. I don’t want to go fucking other people and then walk around feeling thrilled and then sad, or empty, or whatever. I like the smell of your hair, and I like the sound of your voice, and I fucking decided on you.”

— (via death-makes-life-more-meaningful)

[acrystalsea]

Excerpt #19

It seems like forever since we met...since we kissed that very first time. I don't even remember when I fell for you, or why. The point is, I did anyway. You chased me for a long time, never giving up. Now I will follow you to the ends of the Earth, never looking back. I was scared of opening up and being vulnerable because I didn't want to be hurt by a boy like you. You have my trust now, and with it, my heart. I put up the front of a 'tough girl' who wouldn't get her heart broken, but I was scared. What scares me now is that I fell so easily under your spell, but I'm curious to see what version of me lives inside your mind. Now I've always been a romantic at heart, but I believed that beautiful stories about falling in love only happened in the movies. I was wrong because the way that I feel for you is beautifully undescribable. You make me feel all warm and fuzzy. You make my skin flush and stomach tighten. You make me smile simply by speaking, and my heart skips a beat when you're around. I love you when Im mad, and I even love you when I get sad. I think about kissing you all the time. I think about running my hands through your hair and over your body. I think about your arms around me, pulling me closer. I think about us, together, alone all the time. I adore you. I am infatuated with you. Fuck, there's nothing else for me to say because I can't put it all into words. But know this...that I am completely and totally in love with you.

-M.B.

[acrystalsea]

“She had a nostalgia for a life she had never lived.”

— Nancy Lemann, The Fiery Pantheon

[acrystalsea]

[acrystalsea]

154

i’ve always been a sucker for love, but now i don’t feel like that. now, i feel a peaceful sort of love that doesn’t need anything, but soft conversations and the occasional laughter that’s simple enough for my taste— you’re something wonderful and I feel so lucky to call you mine.

[acrystalsea]

“Lovely-eyed. Death-touched. Witch.”

— Odysseus Elytis, tr. by Olga Broumas & T. Begley, from “The Dream,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[acrystalsea]

“I’m afraid I can’t explain myself…Because I am not myself, you see?”

— Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

[acrystalsea]

“She, pure daughter of the sea, her heart has always belonged to the waves;”

— Paul Valéry, tr. by Hilary Corke, from The Collected Works; “She Only Seems Dead,” (via lesgardenias)

[acrystalsea]

Excerpt #18

I hate you so much. I hate that I literally can't hate you, not in the slightest. I thought this would be easy, I thought I wouldn't get attached...I was wrong. I adore you. I use that word, adore, because I can't bring myself to say that I love you. I've fallen for you and I hate it. I like being in control and knowing what's going to happen, and with you I never do. But I feel safe despite the unpredictability. I trust you completely with everything thing I have, and it's exhilarating. When I'm with you, everything is better. I love who I am with you. I'm happy, I'm confident, and I'm different but it's good. I don't know what you've done to me, but it's scary. I really do want to hate it believe me, but I just can't do it...I adore you.

-M.B.

[acrystalsea]

Excerpt #17

It's not fair...It's not fair for you to be upset with me. You didn't even try. We barely hung out and when we did, you stayed on your phone the whole time and practically ignored me. We barely talked and when we did, it was awkward small talk. We were rarely affectionate and when we were, you didn't care about how I felt. I put up with your shit and your bad habits because I loved you. I took care of you when you were blackout drunk, had emotionally draining mood swings, and just didn't even try at life. And yet? All it took was for me to make a single decision for myself, putting my happiness first for once and you were done. YOU broke up with me. Don't get me wrong, I was fine with it. I was unhappy anyway. But you have the audacity to be upset with me and refuse to see me? Bullshit. It's not fair. I don't deserve to be treated like this for something that is your responsibility.

- M.B.

[acrystalsea]

Excerpt #16

I'm scared of you...No, I'm scared of what you could do to me. I'm scared of what could happen if I open up completely. I'm scared of being taken advantage of and left behind like nothing. I'm scared of being manipulated into being just another one of your experiences, just another girl...another face. I'm scared that you're really lying when you say you care. I'm scared of all of this because I'm growing attached...to you, and when I'm attached I'm vulnerable. I hate being vulnerable, you get hurt easily. I don't want to be hurt by you. I'd like to think that you could never hurt me, but I don't think that's true. Maybe by some chance I'd be the one to hurt you, but that would kill me. I'm scared because either one of us could get hurt for simply caring so deeply about the other that we start to trust...and then that trust gets betrayed.

-M.B.

[acrystalsea]

“One has no friends in academia. One has colleagues. One has assassins.”

— Dionne Brand, Theory (via bookquotesforthesoul)

[acrystalsea]

a relationship without trust means nothing

if you dont have trust, then what is it?

its a bundle of memories that mean nothing

its a time that you spent thinking you trusted someone, when in reality, you were giving your heart to someone that didnt think as much of it as you did

but love means forgiving them for it and learning to trust them again

because you know theyre a good person

and you know that nobody is perfect

and you know that they truly love you, even when they do something idiotic that goes against you

because a relationship without love is more meaningless than one without trust

[acrystalsea]

“…the witchery of beautiful eyes.”

— Odysseus Elytis, tr. by Olga Broumas & T. Begley, from “Psalm XVII,”

[acrystalsea]

“Her eyes are pure stars, and her fingers, if they touch you, freeze you to the bone.”

— Virginia Woolf, Orlando: A Biography (via the-book-diaries)

[acrystalsea]

Excerpt #15

What I want is for you to be happy. I want you to have everything you could ever hope for in life. It may be simple, and quaint, and perfectly ordinary, but it's what you want. I want you to have a permanent smile etched onto your face and wrinkles in the corners of your eyes because everything brings you joy. I never want you to lose your undying faith in the good things or the twinkle in your eyes because that's rare nowadays. I want you to live your comfortable, small town life...even though you deserve the world.

- M.B.