actuallyhelpme

[actuallyhelpme]

ⓘ The Dark Psycho would like to message you: "Hey lol whats up im actually The Normal Guy now but i cant change my username lol ya they fixed me in a lab"

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author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone

a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P

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The right to wander in the UK is wonderful and very much the opposite of the US, where you’re terrified you’re going to be shot for turning around in someone’s yard. This combined with the nonchalant attitude towards ancient archeological sites is particularly amusing. There are several Neolithic tombs I want to visit that have warnings that are like “This site is behind a gate and can be accessed by walking through a field BUT USE CAUTION, A HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE BULL LIVES ON THE PROPERTY. I repeat, THIS 5,000 YEAR OLD TOMB IS GUARDED BY AN ANGRY BULL. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.” It’s exactly what that little Neolithic community would have wanted…

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when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw

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A helpful guide for all my fellow antlerheads

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lighthouse keeping is a cruel temptress to autistic people. here is a great lifestyle for people who thrive on:

maintaining simple structured personal routines

in an isolated setting

with lots of leisure time

and little social interaction

that is the dream!!! EXCEPT also you are roommates with the Evil Terrible Noise That Kills You (foghorn)

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look 10 year old me had good taste, alright?

how it feels to be in your 20s with the same interests you had when you were 10

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you cant just say you have a hack for drawing pinstripes and not tell us jude cmon

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”spam like = block” yeah ok buddy. when i wake up to tumblr notifs of someone spam liking my stuff i start giggling and kicking my feet

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actually not sleeping barely eating doing drugs all day long and jacking off feels soo goood without a psychiatrist in ur ear telling you that ur bipolar

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Concept: A gender reveal party but AFTER the kid is born.

Like when the kid is 6 or 12 or 18 or 24. When the kid has decided what their gender is or isn’t.

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hakoda borrowed it and forgot to give it back <3

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[actuallyhelpme]

my sister sent me this on discord because she's been obsessed with king of the hill lately and i'm taken aback by the tasteful homoeroticism in this composition