actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

Dear screenwriters in 2020,

Be better

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

He Got Me Two

a Carty one-shot by @tyronius-jackson-smitten

TJ ran across the cafeteria, the epitome of chocolatey goodness resting in his hand. He had one goal: to be there with the muffin before Cyrus sat down.

He jumped over tables, over his classmates as he rushed to get to his seat on at the edge of the room. He always got Cyrus a muffin; it’s just what one does when one is in love.

TJ practically fell into his seat, gasping for breath. He had beaten the brunette, who was nowhere to be seen. The jock looked around for him, catching a glimpse as he walked through the doors. He sighed. He was so in love.

Cyrus smiled as he walked towards the table with his friends, yet this smile was unlike the others; this smile was almost pitiful. He sat down with the basketball player, sucking in a breath.

“Hey, TJ.”

The boy smiled. “Hi, Underdog. I got you a muff–“

“I GOT YOU TWO MUFFINS, BABY,” yelled a booming voice, shaking the halls of Jefferson.

Martin Frumthapartin waltzed down the aisle of the cafeteria, immediately wrapping his arm around Cyrus as the brunette stood from his seat.

“Oh, Marty. I love you ever so much,” he cooed, much to TJ’s dismay. The jock tried to interrupt the moment to no avail.

“But, Cyrus—“

“You’re too late, Tomato Jamboree.” As the words came out, Cyrus threw the boy’s muffin to the ground, crushing it beneath his foot.

Before Telephone Jumanji could respond with his pleas, he was swallowed into the underworld, where Tuffy would soon become rulers. Carty stood above him on their bench thrones.

“Goodbye, Tuscon Jarizona. Martin got me two muffins.”

As the lovers bit into the desserts, all Tinsel Johnson could feel was his heart being eaten.

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

my travel buddy

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

☂️  the umbrella academy:

character-defining quotes - 1/?? 00.05 | number five: “you do whatever it takes to survive, or you die.”

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

We soldiered together in the A Shau Valley in the Mountain of the Crouching Beast. Well, Dave must have been a very special person to put up with your weird-ass shit. Yeah. Yeah, he was. He was kind, and strong, and vulnerable, and beautiful. Beautiful. And I was foolish enough to follow him all the way to the front line.

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

Jesus you are a real sick bastard Thank you

bonus:

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

vanya: five offered me a sip of his drink cause i mentioned that i was thirsty.

vanya: i was not fucking expecting to take a sip of vodka cranberry at 9am.

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

this world is not meant for you.

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

What happened here?

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

Klaus in episode 2, talking to Five and making a backstory: I met your mom at… the disco!

Episode 6:

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

nothing beats that soundtrack

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

Five: You're smiling. Did something good happen?

Diego: Can't I just smile because I feel like it?

Klaus: Luther tripped and fell in the parking lot.

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

Diego hargreeves: *does something stupid*

Me:

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

Me watching Klaus develop as a character.

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

The Umbrella Academy (2019 - ) SEASON 01

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

Five, Dolores strapped to his back and a margarita in hand: time to go fuck up the timeline again bitches

[actuallyitscaptainjacksparrow]

Diego Hargreeves: a summary

that’s it. that’s the post.