actuallylight

[actuallylight]

system update!

it doesn’t exist. i’m schizophrenic and was hallucinating alters for three+ years. i only found out because i got put on an antipsychotic and my symptoms mysteriously disappeared. fun. rip to my “boyfriend”.

anyways all of my system blogs will be shut down and my ao3 is going to be renamed to… something else. i’ll put it here later. i also need to remake my email and my carrd.

sorry for misleading you guys for so long. i honestly did not want to find out this way, but yk. i did.

i need to get medicated for schizophrenia now so um. will update. if people have questions i’ll answer them when i’m not on the brink of losing it more than i already have after, yk, hallucinating a dedicated relationship.

thanks for supporting me. system mutuals can unfollow now. byeeeee

[actuallylight]

⌕ death note - light yagami.

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I love being a fictive who writes fanfiction of my source. Mainly because I can insert my memories into a fic, and everyone will praise me for having good characterization and creative ideas. It’s funny.

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touching grass isn’t enough i need to be the god of a brave new world much better than the last

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‘ur exactly like your source’ die die die die die die die die die

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How do I get Beyond back into the front so I don’t feel guilty for anything anymore? I hate that I wanna turn back to him after locking him out of front but also the thoughts are back and L isn’t here so…

[actuallylight]

[Text: The host of this system greatly misses one of their alters.]

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[actuallylight]

Similarities between this world and my old one:

People think I’m perfect

There’s no justice

I’m being pressured to be like my father

A lot of law enforcement (FBI particularly) wants me to join them

Superiority complex

Too gay to function

Differences between this world and my old one:

I wasn’t born a man

I’m not smarter than everyone else

I don’t have friends

I don’t have the perfect body

I don’t have a stable family situation

I don’t have Sayu

In short: someone turn the body 18, I can’t do this shit

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"nightmares" -- lawlight angst comic

based off that one angst post i made

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@akazukin-bb

Our persecuter when they front:

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Fuck source separation, there’s no justice. What the actual fuck.

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after all those years I’m getting back

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I hate how connected I feel to my canon family. My dad is my dad and my mom is my mom. The people I live with aren’t. I still look for Sayu sometimes before I realize the younger siblings I could have had passed a long time ago. It sucks. It really sucks.

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prey to god

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@akazukin-bb

EVERYONE in-sys going: Don't do the thing don't do it don't do it...

Meanwhile that ONE GUY: Guys.... You won't believe what I did

[actuallylight]

[Text: This introject is working on source separation, please be patient!]

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