ae-morgana

[ae-morgana]

"there is no peace in loving you," 9.24.2021 mood: odeum by gin wigmore (i recommend the listen so you can feel both our pain) . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUODESChtWs/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ae-morgana]

"resigned," 10.6.2021 mood: drew barrymore by sza the song is hitting harder this turn around . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poems #poemsofig #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUtS3fbJuO_/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ae-morgana]

"flagellation, 10.07.2021 mood: the visual this gives this was derived from my 2020 poem "watered-down fire" . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUvyjicpD4x/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ae-morgana]

"your heaven isn't worth all this hell," 10.13.2021 mood: midnight sky by miley cyrus definitely been playing on repeat. . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CVBvpB9JNPK/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ae-morgana]

"self-flagellation, 10.07.2021 mood: the visual this gives this was derived from my 2020 poem "watered-down fire" . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUvyjicpD4x/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ae-morgana]

"resigned," 10.6.2021 mood: drew barrymore by sza the song is hitting harder this turn around . . . . . . . #poetry #poems #poet #poetryoninstagram #poemsoninstagram #poetsoninstagram #poetsofınstagram #instagrampoetry #instagrampoems #instagrampoet #poems #poemsofig #poetsonig #poetsofig #igpoetry #igpoems #igpoems #igpoem #risinglightpoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CUtS3fbJuO_/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ae-morgana]

sometimes i want to bring you back get into your fold

sometimes i want to see you in the daylight this time the real color of your eyes

sometimes i want to feel the things you used to make me feel so bad thumb poised to press send

but only sometimes

sometimes | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

old blood spills out dead brown and unnourished soured blood my heart once bled for you

the bad blood i kept between us the tissue once infected with your tar is no longer dark, clotted, or kept alive by indignation

it's out bled out you're gone left my body finally

menstruation | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

you've shorn your hair in reinvention a new beginning forced to come

with your head a little lighter you hold it up high touting around like things can finally get done who you want to be is who you'll become

but are we going to pretend like you haven't done this before? that what you sheared off didn't cut out what's wrong with you?

oh haven't you learned it takes more than just blind will it takes everything you have and more than that still

the future lays before you what are you going to do about it this time?

haircut | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

i pile all the blankets and pillows on me while i sleep to feel the weight of being loved

the weight of love | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

you knew i was host to a tempest in your honor

you knew there was a maelstrom swirling with your name howling in its wind tunneling deep

you knew this you know this now and still you breeze across my calm sea in blissful willful ignorance expecting the same ignorance from me

but you know it existed you know it devastated

that's why i can't forgive you

and even if you apologize now it's too late i've existed too much for you already

i owe you no favors | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

i miss the loneliness when i had no one and i pined for everyone 

it only ever wrenched my body

this kind is harder wrenching agony in my mind as well

to bear the loneliness while out there blazes an option to not be if i give in and give up my self-respect

a different kind of lonely | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

leave me alone to write the things you couldn't do

leave me to my pen and paper pages stitched together by the hairs i've raked in frustration over you

leave me to weave my misery into hope

leave me to my boney fingers and bitten nails to hold onto what's left of me and to keep it far from you

the writer as an ex | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

i wish i was harder

my extremities are sure and solid i touch, i grab, i take my legs carry me towards and away but my inside is soft such impressionable softness of red velvet putty

it keeps me from being thoroughly hardened mercilessly brave, relentless, impenetrable, incorruptible

safe and protected

i wish i could take without being taken myself

but i can't change this softness  -- i've tried

it's this very softness that keeps me from going back to you

chocolate caramel candy | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

why do we stay become someone else entirely letting that one aching part take over the whole? why do we do things we never thought we'd do when we are lonely?

things we said we never would or could but we do

we did

we are

lonely hearts | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

eyes scrunched closed a slight whimper of defeat then i drop strings cut, plummet heavy, deadweight a merciless fall                          down                                     down                                                down                                                          hurtling towards the ground

you said you would catch me, are able and willing i might crush you but i'm too tired to care i'm not gonna stop or gonna slow down

you said you would catch me if i fall for you so i'm fucking gonna

i yield | a.e.morgana

[ae-morgana]

laying, them beside my fingers sweeping their hairline

our breaths falling at the same time

i am theirs and they are mine

i want this every night

peace | a.e.morgana