"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." - Oscar Wilde (Independent RP blog for Matthew Fairchild from The Last Hours trilogy by Cassandra Clare. Occasionally NSFW and NOT spoilers free.)
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Is it even still worth it for me to come back here, I wonder...
#I burned out spectacularly at the end of last year and had some health issues this year#i'd like to come back but idk if there's even anyone still here#The best impression of the worst shadowhunter (ooc)
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Chain of Thorns, page 405:
Matthew: "I feel like I might be sick."
James: "That's what the city pavement is for. And you're already steadier on your feet."
Matthew: "I really don't know why people say you are the nicer one of the two of us. It is clearly untrue."
James: "No one says that. What they say is that I am the handsomer one."
Matthew: "That is also clearly untrue."
James: "And the better dancer."
Matthew: "James, this terrible habit of lying seems to have come on you suddenly. I am concerned, very concerned-"
#i love them#love james cheering up matthew in the middle of everything#canon#I am oh so very charming (Matthew)#He keeps me right (James)#Nothing should come between us (Heronchild)
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“…if it had been Matthew, he would not have cared at all about manly agreements- Matthew would simply have hugged James or wrestled him to the ground or tickled him until he was breathless. But Jesse was not Matthew. No one was. Matthew had brought anarchic joy into James’s life like light into a dark place. With Matthew, James felt unspeakable happiness that came from being with one’s parabatai, a happiness that transcended all other things. Without Matthew…the image of Chiswick House came unbidden into his mind, with its smashed mirrors and stopped clocks. The symbol of sadness frozen in time, never-ending.”
-Chain of Thorns, page 299 (via mariakaestner)
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Matthew willed his voice and his hands not to betray the fear he was feeling at finding Cordelia like that. He leaned closer, inspecting the wound, trying to gauge how deep and how bad it was. "A naga?" His eyes and head followed the direction Cordelia pointed to on instinct, but only to make sure it wasn't coming back, he had no intention of leaving her any time soon. "Did she bite you? Should we call the Silent Brothers? if she bit you, the venom..." He didn't even want to think about it.
who did this to you ? (For Cordelia?) @aestheticdriven / give me my favourite trope !!
MATTHEW'S HANDS WERE WARM AND COMFORTING AND CORDELIA COULDN'T HELP IT but to be amused as her own thoughts tried to distract her from the pain. It was not unusual for Nephilim to be harmed doing their duty, and she was sure that this wasn't the worst injury she would ever have, but still, she ached from her shoulder where ichor and her own blood seeped through the fabric of a once pretty blue gown. That would teach her for using pastel colours, she supposed. ❝ A Naga, and a very angry one. She went that way- ❞ The injured huntress waved in the general direction, but she raised a slightly bloodied hand to keep Matthew from leaving. ❝ -I caught her off guard and she didn't like it. Caught me off guard, too, as you can see. We both got a hit in on one another. ❞
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Matthew tilted his head slightly, wondering if Anna was playing him, but also answered genuinely. “I would like that. I could make a green carnation to keep on my breast pocket that would last longer. Well, provided it doesn’t rain.” He liked the idea more and more as he thought of it, finishing setting the crust and then picking up the bowl he had left aside to put the filling. “Oh yeah? Tell that to any mundane kid, they are always flying kites at the park. It was fun, though, that’s true. I used it to play fetch with Oscar instead.” He accepted the reprimand and lifted his hands in a placating gesture to show he meant no harm. “I just meant if you ever want to talk, I’m here. Angel knows you’ve heard enough about my love laments for a lifetime.”
aestheticdriven:
A tilt of head accompanied her comment. “Really? I didn’t know you were interested in crafts of any kind. I’d like to see that…. If it’s alright with you.” He added, never wanting to impose, then dropped the dough on the counter with a sigh. It would not get better than this and he wasn’t in the mood to make another one so that’s what they had for the day. It would still taste good, just not look very beautiful. He started fitting it on the mold to bake. “Now that is relative. I remember when i tried to make a kite once, there was paper and glue everywhere by the end. Not pretty.” He looked up to look at Anna as he worked and hummed non committaly before giving a small smirk. “Do any of those this and thats have a name that starts with “A” and ends in “riadne”?“ He knew there was something going on between them, but not any details and he wondered if Anna would be inclined to sharing with him.
“Of course,” Anna agreed with a nod, “I’ll show you how to fold some flowers, then you can amaze your friends with such a beautiful skill.” It’s a little sarcastic, but also partially genuine; Anna really does think that Matthew might enjoy making the little paper flowers, knowing that he enjoys beautiful things. She watches him push his dough into the mold with mild interest; food is always something of an interest, though it takes a backseat to duty every so often. “Ah, kites are hard, Matthew,” she waves an airy hand with a fond smile, “I bet you had fun trying, even if the end result wasn’t exactly what you’d envisaged.” As for her this and thats… well, not all of them are Ariadne or about Ariadne, but Ariadne is a big part of her daily life, there was no point in denying it. “Perhaps,” she smiles coyly, picking at a bit of flour left on her jacket, “though I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
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A sick feeling had taken hold of Matthew when he saw Lucie like that and it just wouldn't go away, the fear and hopelessness morphing into bitterness and rage and twisting at his stomach. Still, he was as focused and gentle as he could be as he untied her restraints. Her answer made him momentarily pause. "What, Malcolm?" He forced his hands to continue to move. "Malcolm did this to you?"
That just seemed to make the scene even more wrong. Matthew knew Malcolm, had known him for a couple of years now. He was an infrequent but always delightful presence at the saloons of the Ruelle, a little airheaded but always kind. He and Hypatia had opened the doors of the Ruelle for him and allowed him a refuge in his darkest times. To see him so twisted by grief to the point of attacking Lucie like this pained him, though it didn't excuse his actions.
"I think Magnus would be even more shocked than me to find out Malcolm did this to you, they have been friends for decades. Though it might be worth telling him, he might be able to talk some sense into Malcolm. Maybe." Once he finished with the restraints, he took her hand and helped her up, fussing over her to see if she wasn't hurt. When she showed him her bloody arm, though, it was as if the rest of the world vanished into white-hot rage. "I'm going to kill him for that, before he can even think of doing anything."
who did this to you ? (For Lucie?) @aestheticdriven / give me my favourite trope :3 !!
ANGER WAS BUBBLING TO THE SURFACE OF LUCIE'S FEATURES, HER FACE HOT WITH IT. She didn't want to take her foul mood following the scuffle on Matthew, but still, she huffed out an irritated sigh of air as he freed her from the restraints she'd been tied with. ❝ Who do you think? The asshole Warlock who decided that because I can't do what he wants anymore, he's going to be a pest about it and try to get me to do it anyway, in any manner he can. I've half a mind to set Magnus on him. I really do prefer him, you know. ❞ Her nose scrunched in frustration, and she offered a hand to him, hoping he would help her to her feet. ❝ There's more, ❞ She almost had an apology in her tone, and she showed him the slice where the Warlock had drawn blood from her arm, ❝ Angel knows what he's going to do with it. ❞
#matthew i hate violence unless you mess with my people fairchild#ic#reply#v: Some of us are looking at the stars (TLH)#ofcatnaps
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Quotes that remind me of them
Matthew Fairchild : "And then i felt sad because i realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and that is something nobody ever tells you when you are young"
Kit and Ty : "Sometimes you get so close to someone that you end up on the other side of them"
Emma in Lady Midnight : "There are things that tie them to a place, much like they do us. A time and a date. The spilling of blood. A terrible crime. But there are others. Others that hold onto an emotion. A drive. Loss. Revenge. Or love. Those, they never go away."
Will Herondale : "There is a certain clinical satisfaction in seeing just how bad things can get"
Julian Blackthorn : " I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other"
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The deeper the wound, the more private the pain.
Isabel Allende, Paula (via quotefeeling)
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Matthew shrugged. “Oh well, it never hurts to reassure people we mean no harm. My friend Jamie says I sound more suspicious when I do that, but I promise you I am just an eccentric artist and not a crook.” If Jamie was there, he would probably also tell Matthew to get to the point because he was just confusing the other guy more like this, but Matthew had his own process of doing things.
When he got to the point of the video that interested him, he paused it to be able to look at the other and explain his plan. “Yes, exactly. It isn’t usually my kind of thing, I do more skits and performances and such, but this always seemed fun, and I wanted to try it, and seeing your video felt like a sign, you know?” Perhaps it was idealistic, but Matthew thought possible and necessary to make it into this industry by supporting others instead of being cutthroat and putting others down for advantage. Even if it was something small as being honest about where he got his inspiration from and wanting to bring the other into the project.
He nodded. “Ohhh, yes, that would be perfect. Or we post like, part 1 in a channel and part 2 in another if we get a lot of material. Maybe if people like it we can even make some more later? You are the one that knows the area so if you think of other cool places, I’ll be happy to go along. I can drive too, if that helps.” He smiled at the other. “So, we are doing this?”
aestheticdriven:
“The kind that’s going to work out great for both of us. It’s nothing shady, I promise. Here,” He turned his phone so Robin could see his screen, it was showing one of the other’s own videos from a couple of weeks ago, one that had really caught Matthew’s attention.
“Remember this day? You were talking about this haunted house near where you grow up, it seemed so cool. I’ve been dying to make one of these haunted house exploration type of videos for ages, but I don’t want to just swoop in and steal your thunder, so! What if we both go there together? I get access to this really cool video material, and you get to promo your own channel to all my followers. And, like, not to toot my own horn, but there’s a significant amount of them. So what do you say?”
“I didn’t think it was going to be shady,” Robin said mildly, raising his eyebrows at the other as he ducked his head to observe the screen. To see his own video being replayed to him was something of a surprise — was this a fan interaction? It sure as hell wasn’t following the typical pattern of one.
“Yeah, I remember making that video,” he nodded, perhaps a little cautiously as he waited to find out exactly where this was all going. “You want to explore somewhere together?” It was very considerate, really, for Matthew to be reluctant to enter into Robin’s video market — not many people would have such reservations, and really, it didn’t actually matter. There were already a lot of haunted house or abandoned building explorers on YouTube, but Robin appreciated the other reaching out all the same. He smiled, especially when Matthew offered the chance to promote his channel to a bunch more viewers. “Sure, we can team up. What if we make one video for your channel, and another in a different location for mine? There’s a couple more haunted houses in the area, or we could find just a plain abandoned building to explore? I also have my own car, so I can drive us out there.”
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5 Essential Headcanons (inspired by @affcgato in the RP development server)
What they drink socially?
Matthew socially drinks tea, specially sweet and fruity teas. Peach iced tea when it's hot, mixed berry tea, apple and cinnamon tea. He likes the occasional English breakfast tea too when it's cold, but with milk.
What vices they have?
Matthew's main vice is, well, alcohol. When that fails, sugar is the way to go.
What their residence looks like?
Everything in Matthew's home was carefully selected to be tasteful, comfortable, aesthetic and fun. He put the fluffiest rug in the living room, but also put a Greek vase with erotic drawings, and made an open closet with his jackets hanging on the wall. Everything is designed to please him, but also to make clear his friends are always welcome and will be comfortable there.
Who they trust with the worst parts of themselves?
Matthew's biggest problem throughout the series is that he trusts no one with it. He thinks he did something so awful and unforgivable he won't even trust James, his parabatai, with it. But eventually he manages to open up and James and Cordelia become the people he trusts with the worst parts of himself.
Who their emergency contact in their phone is & why?
His emergency contact is obviously James, they are sworn to protect each other in canon and even in verses when Matthew is human, they are best friends and trust each other more than anything, even with the things they don't want their parents to know about.
#I wrote this on my phone on a sprint ages ago and then forgot to post it#Do you think all this happens on its own? (headcanon)#rpcdev
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Come and sit with me - from will @multistoty
Bruises and bruising meme | Accepting
Matthew walked over, doing his best to muffle his sniffles as he went. His Mama had taught him not to cry and he didn't want to disappoint her, but he had fallen from quite a height during the climbing rope exercise, though he was pretty positive his response was due more to the shock of the fall than to any injuries.
"I'm all right, uncle Will, really," he said, still sniffling a bit. "It was nothing a nephilim can't handle." He doubled down, not wanting uncle Will to think Matthew wasn't suitable to be Jamie's parabatai due to being too weak and a cry-baby.
#Did I just want an excuse to use my kid matthew fc more? maybe#ic#Questions are never indiscreet but answers sometimes are (ask)#It might be too thrilling for a Wednesday (meme)#v: Between the Institute and the Consul’s house (Between TftSA and TLH)#multistoty
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Bringing this back because it has just occurred to me that Bruises and Bitemarks is a great Kellington x Matthew song and now I’m obsessed:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjyhJGe_uRw&ab_channel=MusicGal121208
((On relationships and Kellington…
Matthew still dreams of a love story. He would like to have love like the one his parents had or the one Uncle Will and Aunt Tessa had, but he had always felt he wasn’t adequate enough to get the affection of the people he did have a crush on growing up, and since the events of C.LS happened he considers himself completely unworthy of it in any way.
But he still longs for it, so what he does is to continuously seek out partners that he knows aren’t good for him and that absolutely can’t give him what he wants, and seek relationships that are doomed from the start.
That’s how his relationship with Kellington came into play and it was the one that modeled for Matthew what exactly to look for in others so he would never risk a real relationship. Kellington was the first hook up he had at the Ruelle, he was the first relationship Matthew had ever had, and while what he felt wasn’t love, he was definitely possessive of Matthew and treated him with a hot and cold approach that fed into Matthew’s insecurities perfectly, so even though a part of him knew it couldn’t be, it still broke Matthew’s heart to hear him say the actual words, that he didn’t love him.
Matthew knows that very well, and yet, Kellington’s spell over him (and his over Kellington as well, he is not an innocent party in all this, he seeks Kellington out plenty on his own) has never quite worn out. Even though they officially “broke up” only a couple months after getting together and have both seen plenty of other people since, they have had many other private encounters at the Ruelle, and Kellington is still possessive over Matthew. In a way, Kellington knows a part of him no one else does and so Matthew keeps coming back, for a taste of pleasure and being momentarily held that only leave him feeling emptier afterwards, but that he can’t break free of.
So while there have been others as well - one night stands, hookups, short relationships that ended as quickly as they started -, Kellington is, in his way, the longest relationship Matthew has ever had, and that’s sad in its own way.))
#Do you think all this happens on its own? (headcanon)#I got a lot of memes for the bruises prompts which made me think about this song and I was in parallel thinking about kell and now i'm here
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“Let me guess, I should ‘see the other guy’?” - Cordelia @multistoty
Bruises and bruising meme | Accepting
Matthew gave a weak smile at the joke and then let out a hiss as Cordelia touched the red and swelling skin around his eye. "Unfortunately, seeing the other guy wouldn't do much for my honour. He picked a fight I had no interest in participating in so I just let him throw his punch to feel better and be on his way. I know, I know, I'm a disgrace to nephilim anywhere, but I just bought these gloves."
He wiggled his fingers at her to show the still immaculate white gloves and then sighed. "Would you happen to have your stele with you? Since I didn't foresee getting into any trouble at the Ruelle tonight, I didn't bring mine."
#ic#Questions are never indiscreet but answers sometimes are (ask)#It might be too thrilling for a Wednesday (meme)#v: Some of us are looking at the stars (TLH)#multistoty
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“Do you now?” Matthew’s eyes sparked. Julian was getting into dangerous territory, if he got Matthew to start talking about his favourite author, he was never going to start. At least it was a suitable distraction from him being slightly worried about the other. “I’m starting to like you more and more. Have you read any of this writing?”
He nodded, smiling a bit. “It seems so. What a tragic and romantic existence we share. Like, I know the times back then could be awful, Oscar himself suffered for it, but if I could go back at least for one day, it would be amazing.” He sighed wistfully, then nodded. “I do like others. Swinburne, Byron, the Shelleys, Keats, Virginia Woolf, Stoker. Stephen Fry and Neil Gaiman since we are admitting we ignore the rules and have contact with forbidden mundane culture.” He fake gasped, then laughed again. “But Wilde is by far my favourite. And you? Any particular inspirations?”
aestheticdriven:
Matthew didn’t usually let on, but he could have quite the dark humour himself sometimes. That in no way stopped him from being worried when others did the same, though. He gave Julian a suspicious look for a while longer and hen gave up and sighed wistfully.
“Same, except I was born in the wrong century. I should have been born 150 years ago so I could have been par of the aesthetes group with Oscar Wilde. He was a mundane writer and I really admire him. What do you like about the 80′s?”
“I know of Oscar Wilde,” Julian smiled, ignoring Matthew’s suspicions as much as he could. Okay, so he needed to dial back these quips about not wishing to exist — but c’mon, he could do with a break from life right about now after everything the Angel had decided to throw at him.
“So we’re both souls out of time?” Interesting — Matthew might be the only other person he’s met who understands some of how he feels. “Do you like other poets, or specifically Wilde?”
#matthew be like *lists the most controversial authors of their time as faves and doesn't even bat an eye*#v: Experience is the name we give our mistakes (modern)#ic#reply#leschanceux
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good morning my beloveds! this is a bit of a surprise post, but i'm thinking it makes more sense to say this in a post now rather than copy and paste it for the heartbreaking number of people asking abt this in my inbox!
allow me to paraphrase the overall message of, at present, fifteen nearly identical messages in my inbox:
"hi blue. i'm wondering if you have any advice on how to deal with people not interacting with you anymore. i make all these posts and starter calls, i post memes, i answer drafts, i do everything in my power to make my dash a nice, happy place for people to feel comfortable enough to approach me for interactions and conversations, but nobody is doing anything. nobody is liking my posts, or commenting, or reblogging. my notifs are empty, and i feel really awful about it."
that's actually, word for word, what has been in my inbox for three days now. and i didn't know how to respond, because quite honestly, i have no advice for you. none except for this:
please, please, please start interacting with your mutuals some more.
i'm guilty of it myself. i go silent a lot, i've no idea why. however, i still make a good effort of trying to comment on people's posts, because that's what this place is. tumblr is a social media platform. we socialize on this platform. if we stop doing that, it ceases to be a social media platform.
but a single like can do so much for a person. sending a DM to do some plots, commenting on a post about how to make a grilled cheese REALLY special (i like to add pesto to mine!) or sending unprompted asks to a new mutual! it doesn't have to be massive. but we have stopped interacting with one another, and it really, really sucks. it's so disheartening, it really is, and if that happens to one person, they'll stop sending out notifs as well. and it'll expand, like ripples in a puddle.
it breaks my heart to see so many people facing this challenge. and i'm so sorry that i've been unable to provide a solid answer or suggestion. but the issue here is the community itself. it's a classic example of an individual issue expanding into a social one. if we stop communicating, if we stop socializing, on a SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM, then it's no longer a social media platform. we're no longer a community. we're just a bunch of people who like to write, and we're all on tumblr.
let's make it a resolution. in fact, a challenge. let's all agree to like a few posts each day. or comment on a friend's post, or send in a few memes, or randomly tag people in starters. it's not a massive effort, it's not a huge energetic loss. if we all did a small bit each day, i can guarantee that the dash would transform almost overnight into the community we all knew and loved and deserve! but we all need to be making that conscious choice to interact and communicate more often.
#this#there is no point in complaining no one interacts with you if you don't go and interact with people either#The best impression of the worst shadowhunter (ooc)
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Reality was a dream that burned with the haze of a thousand suns. While Matthew wasn’t sure where the poetic thought had come from, he hadn’t been able to forget it ever since he had first had it. It was nothing more than the truth, too, because every moment he had now felt like a dream even when he was awake, and yet the world around him had never felt sharper and in such deep clarity.
Part of it, he could never forget, was due to him having quit drinking, but the biggest part was wholly due to how happy he now felt all the time. He had never known it was possible to feel like this, even when he was a kid, but now with his heart open, the relationship with his family and friends mended and more stable than ever, and the constant reassurance and open talks with James and Cordelia, it just seemed like a veil he had worn his whole life had finally been lifted and he could finally feel the sun in his face for the first time.
It’s what he had hoped would happen with Cordelia in Paris that first time, but he had gone about it all wrong. He had wanted the benefits without wanting to put on the work to heal, and they had both learned the hurt that could cause. Now, on their next visit, there would be no hurt or secrets or escape, only the three of them living the true Parisian dream.
The three of them... The thought alone still made Matthew shiver. That he could have this, have all he had always dreamed of. That he could hold Cordelia close on his lap and kiss her while James slept next to them and know if James woke up the worst that would happen would be a joking grumble about being left out and him attempting to climb Matthew’s lap too and effectively crush him under them. That he could go to bed with his face buried on Cordelia’s hair and James’ arm around their waists. It was almost too good to believe, and it led him down poetic thoughts like the one that kept coming back to him.
Cordelia’s kisses could sure be as hot as a thousand suns, as their mouths moved together with practice and ease, as she gripped his shirt and he moved his hand under her skirt, caressing her leg, he felt as he was burning, but if he was then he never wanted to stop.
He broke the kiss to nip her jaw, then kiss down her neck, the curve where it met her shoulder. “I almost feel bad for the Parisian women, they will surely hate me for bringing the most beautiful woman in the world back to Paris again to beat them all to flinders.”
THEIR HOME OFTEN FELT ALIVE WITH LAUGHTER AND THIS WAS NO DIFFERENT AN OCCASION. With Jamie snoozing in a chair after a rather long and exhausting solo mission, it had been Matthew and Cordelia who were laughing together late into the night, talking and discussing their next trip to Paris and where they were going to take their husband on adventures through the city of love. Despite the nature of their first trip to France together, the conversation had turned slightly to the silken dress that she'd worn that fateful night. The gifted silks that Matthew had provided, the beautiful gowns that had shown Cordelia off for who she truly was. Thinking of that evening, of the passion they'd shared many nights since, was enough for Daisy to start talking lower, her eyes hooded and filled with heady temptation. Positioning herself on Matthew's lap, she drew her second husband's face to her own and kissed him the way she'd kissed him that night, desperate and hungry until they were both gasping for air. Kissing him to remind him that he was as much the world to her as Jamie was to both of them. Kissing him to show him that passion between them would never die and that they could have more fun once again in Paris.
kissing each other breathless with cordelia / @aestheticdriven
#the reference to james there made me literally squee aaahhhhhh#babieeesss ;A;#ic#reply#v: Some of us are looking at the stars (TLH)#The beautiful Cordelia (Cordelia)#Keeping love in our hearts (Mathdelia)#Love is wiser than philosophy though she is wise and mightier than power though he is mighty (heronchildstairs)#ofcatnaps
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“It’ll look worse before it looks better.” - James @multistoty
Bruises and bruising meme | Accepting
Matthew sighed and looked mournfully at the red and raw skin under his thorn sleeve. It was just his luck that demon with the poisonous tentacles had wrapped one around his wrist; now they couldn't close the wound with an iratze without getting rid of the poison first, and they would need the Silent Brothers for that, so for now he would just have to wait.
"Oh, well, see it on the bright side, Jamie: at least it didn't hit my face." He tried to joke with a small smile.
#ic#Questions are never indiscreet but answers sometimes are (ask)#It might be too thrilling for a Wednesday (meme)#v: Some of us are looking at the stars (TLH)#multistoty
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