agentphilcollins

[agentphilcollins]

Phillipa had done everything in her power to control the urge to act on the sudden rise of worry for the Bossman.

She might have hated him at first - well Hate wasn't the right word. She hadn't liked him. But she had respected his willingness to give her a chance when nobody else would and he stuck with her through all of her difficulty in trusting. She hadn't been easy to work with. Still wasn't, but he'd found some magical recipe for tempering her steel and grit.

Otherwise, it didn't matter to her that underneath that squishy soft surface and gentle face was probably a hard metal endoskeleton. She'd have punched .. or attempted to punch (He was deceptively fucking fast) him right in the nose.

Instead, she turned that bitter energy toward shoving things in boxes and watching the door to the office like a hawk.

"He's still in there." Phillipa affirmed with a deep smirk. "I don't think he knows what to do." Germaine had come to the door, hands shaking - eyes frantically looking after Sterling as if he was going to follow, and then he'd paced back into the office, back to the door, back into the office and finally - he'd come back to the door and very gently closed it again.

Phillipa found her anger surprising. Germaine had been nothing but kind and patient with her. Had shown her just as boundless a well of forgiveness for her .... quirks .... as Sterling had, but that old-wounds rage rushed to the surface like a volcano - bursting immediately with the heated anger of betrayal she'd felt for her father all those years ago.

She'd have to ask later, and hope for some kind of answer. And silently apologize to the android later, when her inner Hulk wasn't screaming to let it out on someone.

@agentsterling

Phillipa looked at the closed door of the office - she'd caught a glimpse of Germaine behind it looking like he'd been shot. Then at Sterling's retreating frame - rigid with rage and a whole lot of other she could only guess at.

"No fucking clue - they went in smiling and now I'm wondering if I need to go punch an android in the nuts...does he even have nuts..."

----------------------------

Germaine watched the door close behind Sterling and as soon as the man was out of earshot, he allowed the feelings to bubble up to the surface. Tears streamed down his face, checked only by the back of his button-down sleeve. Maybe that was the last time Sterling would ever talk to him, but if he had to go back - he'd do it again.

He struggled to get hold of himself, marveling through the heartache that the people at AID had gone to the effort of giving him the ability to 'ugly-cry'. Loving and hating it with equal measure.

Perhaps a bit more 'hating' in the moment.

[agentphilcollins]

"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

[agentphilcollins]

let your muse have ugly traits! let your muse have unhealthy coping mechanisms! let your muse be toxic! let them be a hypocrite! let them do things that make you cringe! let them relapse and spiral and experience moral decline, as a treat! it’s roleplay. it’s supposed to be fun, and it’s even cathartic for some. embrace your whole muse. 

[agentphilcollins]

"Fuck off. I can take care of myself.. but I will take you up on the day off. "

This felt like a fractured rib. She'd had enough of them before to know.. but she wasn't going to tip Sterling on to the potential severity of it if she could help it. He was good... and she'd left herself open. She'd deserved what she'd gotten and she wasn't going to hold it over his head. Not yet, anyway.

It had been a rare No holds barred, feral freedom for both of them. As much as it hurt, it had felt good to go as hard as she physically could. She'd given him a run for his money - she was pretty sure she'd left a few bruises behind, but he was one of the best. One of the best that wasn't an Avenger or Spec Ops, anyway. But he had to be. That man was a magnet for the worst kind of trouble and he was still here. Breathing.

Phillipa straightened herself a bit in her chair, pushing herself up with her feet so she could slouch a little more comfortably.

"I could use the break - and Ben's graduation is coming up." She shook her head, in part to clear it from the ringing in her ears. In part because she just couldn't wrap her head around her little brother not being so little anymore.

"Can't believe he's 18 and headed off to college this upcoming fall. My brain can't put those two pieces together. He needs help with getting a suit. Not sure I'm the one to do it - but I'm all he's got. I could sit around watching him try on stuff for a day."

@agentsterling

Phillipa lolled her head to the side to look daggers at Sterling.

"I don't have to hold back with you. You hit like a freight train. I've had easier fights with Germaine, and he's got the advantage of being a fucking machine."

Phillipa gratefully took the water bottle and took a sip before she tried lifting the bottle up to splash her face and hair. Pain shot through her midsection bad enough she saw stars for a moment. "Sssshhhit.."

She kicked a foot in stubborn frustration. She was going to have to swing by the infirmary.

She didn't want to swing by the infirmary.

@agentsterling

[agentphilcollins]

Phillipa lolled her head to the side to look daggers at Sterling.

"I don't have to hold back with you. You hit like a freight train. I've had easier fights with Germaine, and he's got the advantage of being a fucking machine."

Phillipa gratefully took the water bottle and took a sip before she tried lifting the bottle up to splash her face and hair. Pain shot through her midsection bad enough she saw stars for a moment. "Sssshhhit.."

She kicked a foot in stubborn frustration. She was going to have to swing by the infirmary.

She didn't want to swing by the infirmary.

@agentsterling

Phillipa wheezed as she slumped in her seat, hand grasping her side as she tried to regain her breath. Sweat poured down her face, stinging in her eyes and dripping down her spine.

Sterling in his usual setting looked like a pushover. An absolute Sweater-Vest. Like a good flick of the finger would knock him over, but Phillipa had learned... the hard way ... that was as far from the truth as the sun was from the edge of the milky way. When he lifted his shirt to dry sweat from his face, or changed - the muscle and tone those carefully tailored suits hid were nothing to scoff at.

The man was a wrecking ball disguised as a fancy glass tree ornament.

The roundhouse to her ribs that had laid her out on the mat was testament to that. She'd left herself just the slightest bit open and the next thing she knew, she was face first in the floor, unconscious for just a split second. Just long enough to know she'd blacked out, and when she'd gotten up, she could feel her lungs bruising.

"Too late for me...." Phillipa hissed as she breathed in. And then hissed again for the sharp intake of breath that had produced that sound. "Fuuuuuck..."

@agentsterling

[agentphilcollins]

Phillipa wheezed as she slumped in her seat, hand grasping her side as she tried to regain her breath. Sweat poured down her face, stinging in her eyes and dripping down her spine.

Sterling in his usual setting looked like a pushover. An absolute Sweater-Vest. Like a good flick of the finger would knock him over, but Phillipa had learned... the hard way ... that was as far from the truth as the sun was from the edge of the milky way. When he lifted his shirt to dry sweat from his face, or changed - the muscle and tone those carefully tailored suits hid were nothing to scoff at.

The man was a wrecking ball disguised as a fancy glass tree ornament.

The roundhouse to her ribs that had laid her out on the mat was testament to that. She'd left herself just the slightest bit open and the next thing she knew, she was face first in the floor, unconscious for just a split second. Just long enough to know she'd blacked out, and when she'd gotten up, she could feel her lungs bruising.

"Too late for me...." Phillipa hissed as she breathed in. And then hissed again for the sharp intake of breath that had produced that sound. "Fuuuuuck..."

@agentsterling

Hidden Injuries from: <AgentPhilCollins> "I'm just gonna sit right here... for a minute..."

"Come on, Collins. Don't tell me I wore you out already?" Sterling said, huffing and looking rather worn out himself. He took a moment to slide a hand through his hair to slick it back in place but it fell right back into his forehead in a messy curtain Phillipa only saw from him in these sessions. He straightened up, heaving out a big breath, and walked over to his water bottle.

"Alright. You're right. Lets take a break. We go much longer and I won't be able to move tomorrow."

[agentphilcollins]

An Empty Chair at an Empty Desk

It was weird walking past the now empty desk that had been filled for as long as she'd been part of the department with the soft-spoken, unassuming 'Clark Kent' of Intelligence Analysis.

Impossibly thin, a stutter that had gotten better but never seemed to leave him entirely, hunched and always trying to make himself smaller. Germaine Shepherd looked like a mousey little yes man and pulled it off incredibly well. If you didn't know him, it would have been impossible not to underestimate him.

Beneath that cardigan-wearing, friendly neighborhood nerd exterior was nothing less than the greatest feat of engineering Phillipa had ever had the privilege of knowing. He could process data faster than the computers they worked on - sorted through incoming reports with an unmatched efficiency and could archive and send to the right place or person like a .. well. A machine.

He threw a hell of a mean punch, too. He was fast as fuck, strong as hell, and as dangerous as a wet kitten.

She paused, hand on the back of the chair he'd used to sit in, taking in black monitors and spotlessly clean cubicle. He was one of the last people she thought she'd miss, but he was moving on and up and she was happy for him. He deserved it. His potential was wasted here.

But the coffee would never be the same. Or the holidays. He'd always taken such good care of the people in the office. He never missed a birthday, a wedding, a graduation or big achievement and he'd been more than generous with the skills he -could- share. She could technically still reach out to him through emails for Excel Spreadsheet magic tricks (He could make it do things she'd never dreamed of and he'd taught her -so- much), or go to the gym and train with other SHIELD agents but it just wasn't the same.

He had always been there before she got in every morning and greeted her with a crooked, unsure smile and he had still been there every day when she clocked out. He was a sort of ... fixture... in her mind.

She'd hated him at first. She'd thought he was aloof. A weakling content to hunch over his keyboard and never see any sort of combat - but she couldn't have been more wrong.

He was -careful-. One wrong miscalculation could shatter a coffee cup... or a tibia. One mistake could ruin an entire mission and endanger the agents out in the field or the civilians caught in the resulting cross-fire. He could crush a man's skull with his hand, but he used that strength on more than one occassion to fiercely protect the people in the cubicles around him.

She'd grown to respect him and had learned through his (frankly a little annoyingly unwavering) loyalty to Sterling to respect the head of the department just as much. She didn't like that Sterling had given Germaine his blessings, but she knew it had been the right decision.

It didn't make it feel any less 'liminal' that the mop of brown hair wouldn't be peaking over the edges of his cubical walls across the office from her, though.

And it didn't make the coffee pot any less empty.

Phillipa frowned and slogged her way into the break room (with a short stop off at her desk to shrug out of her leather jacket) to get the first pot .. or maybe it was the second or third... of the day going and tried to remember all the little tricks he'd taught her to get the -perfect- cup.

Nope. It was definitely not going to be the same around here.

[agentphilcollins]

Vibe with me, it’s a good song

[agentphilcollins]

[agentphilcollins]

[agentphilcollins]

@shieldtots​

I know we only started dating, but ... submitted for your consideration.

Going insane reading this wikipedia quote about the real life Cocaine Bear, which is taxidermied and kept in a mall in Kentucky (though it may actually be a different, unrelated, taxidermied bear)

According to the bear's owners, the Cocaine Bear has the authority to officiate legally binding weddings in the mall where it is kept due to Kentucky's marriage laws. This claim is only partly true; the bear does not have the authority to solemnize weddings, but the state of Kentucky cannot invalidate marriages performed by unqualified persons if the parties believe that the person marrying them has the authority to do so. As such, it is a belief in the Cocaine Bear's authority that allows it to officiate legally binding weddings in Kentucky.

You have to BELIEVE in the power of your Cocaine Bear Marriage for it to take effect. Fucking magical.

[agentphilcollins]

Wear something red??

Phillipa glanced over at her closet, visible through the open door of her bedroom.  It looked like a funeral procession of lesbian bikers had stripped down for an orgy and checked all their stuff in at the door.

[text:MoonMoon] I was thinking maybe in a couple of hours?

She needed time to root through her stuff - or to hit a thrift store. Or convince Ben to let her borrow one of his T-shirts or something..

[text: MoonMoon] I could pick you up wherever if you’re already out or meet you somewhere?

“OH shit she replied…” Phil stared down at the phone in her hands.

“Well duh..”  Ben shook his head and shoved the spoon back into the peanut butter jar and set it aside on the coffee table.

“I hadn’t planned this far ahead!”  Panic tinted the edges of her voice. “I have no idea where to take her…”

“There’s a lunar new year parade going on in Chinatown today. There’s supposed to be a lantern lighting and lion dances and stuff. She’s Chinese, right? I’m not being a racist douche and assuming.. right?” “I’m pretty sure she’s Chinese.. I didn’t really ask. It didn’t seem like an appropriate question… but she SPEAKS Chinese and lives in a place above a restaurant in Chinatown…so odds are she’ll at least know about the parade.”  Phil bit her lip, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

It was better than the big fat blank she was pulling up in her head.

[text:MoonMoon] I heard there’s a Lunar New Year thing going on and I was told I shouldn’t miss it.

[text: MoonMoon] ::sweaty face emoji::  Would you like to go with me? I’ve never been to one of these things before.

[agentphilcollins]

“OH shit she replied...” Phil stared down at the phone in her hands.

“Well duh..”  Ben shook his head and shoved the spoon back into the peanut butter jar and set it aside on the coffee table.

“I hadn’t planned this far ahead!”  Panic tinted the edges of her voice. “I have no idea where to take her...”

“There’s a lunar new year parade going on in Chinatown today. There’s supposed to be a lantern lighting and lion dances and stuff. She’s Chinese, right? I’m not being a racist douche and assuming.. right?” “I’m pretty sure she’s Chinese.. I didn’t really ask. It didn’t seem like an appropriate question... but she SPEAKS Chinese and lives in a place above a restaurant in Chinatown...so odds are she’ll at least know about the parade.”  Phil bit her lip, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

It was better than the big fat blank she was pulling up in her head.

[text:MoonMoon] I heard there’s a Lunar New Year thing going on and I was told I shouldn’t miss it.

[text: MoonMoon] ::sweaty face emoji::  Would you like to go with me? I’ve never been to one of these things before.

“You’re being a baby.” 

“I am -not-!”  But Ben was right. She hadn’t been this nervous since the first car ride out to an unknown spot in the wilderness, head covered in a sack.  The ride felt like forever - and her heart had been racing.

The phone in her hand felt like a brick. Her palms were sweaty.  She’d been avoiding this for weeks, but she couldn’t keep ignoring her feelings. She would lose the opportunity entirely if she just kept stalling.

“You are. If you like her, call her. If you can’t call her, text her. You’ve already been out once, right?” Ben lounged on the couch, eating peanut butter straight out of the jar one spoonful at a time.  Phillipa wanted to yell at him about it, but her eating habits were even worse, and it wasn’t a battle she could win.

“Shut up, turd face.” 

“Turd face?”   Ben laughed and shook his head - dark hair swishing over his face and ‘smokey’ eye makeup. “Seriously?” 

“Yah. Seriously.”  Phillipa playfully bit back.

“You’re so cute when you’re nervous.”  Ben’s voice dripped with both sarcasm and baby-talk. He’d been squinting his eyes and making kissy faces - so he wasn’t prepared for the pillow that launched across the room at dangerous speeds and it hit him right in the head.

“OW!! …. Jerk!!”  But laughter bubbled up in his voice as he swung his long, skinny legs over the edge of the couch and pushed himself to his feet.  “Fine.. I’ll leave you and your phone alone - but that pillow to the face means you’re not getting the Alfredo you wanted tonight. If you want to eat… you’re going to have to go out on a date.”  He waggled his eyebrows, but they were hidden by the veil of layered, sharply textured hair that hung perpetually over his face.

“YOU…. suck.”  Laughter rung in Phil’s voice too, though.  “You can stay out here and eat your creamy nut butter…”   Innuendo was heavy in the last three words.

Ben grinned, dipped his spoon in, pulled out a massive scoop and shoved it into his face. “MMmmmm… too bad you don’t like nuts. You’re missing out.”   Phillipa fake gagged and headed to her room, where she could nervous text Emily. It took a few hours of typing something out and deleting it, typing something else and deleting that too before she finally settled on :  

[text:MoonMoon] Hey. Are you busy tonight?

Not really all that suave .. but it wasn’t the word vomit she’d started out with. Short.  Concise. And hopefully it didn’t betray how uncharacteristically shaky her hands were when she’d tapped it out on the tiny screen.

@shieldtots

[agentphilcollins]

THE LAST OF US - BILL & FRANK

[agentphilcollins]

(via 0zu93ijn4gfa1.jpg (JPEG Image, 720 × 530 pixels))

[agentphilcollins]

“You’re being a baby.” 

“I am -not-!”  But Ben was right. She hadn’t been this nervous since the first car ride out to an unknown spot in the wilderness, head covered in a sack.  The ride felt like forever - and her heart had been racing.

The phone in her hand felt like a brick. Her palms were sweaty.  She’d been avoiding this for weeks, but she couldn’t keep ignoring her feelings. She would lose the opportunity entirely if she just kept stalling.

“You are. If you like her, call her. If you can’t call her, text her. You’ve already been out once, right?” Ben lounged on the couch, eating peanut butter straight out of the jar one spoonful at a time.  Phillipa wanted to yell at him about it, but her eating habits were even worse, and it wasn’t a battle she could win.

“Shut up, turd face.” 

“Turd face?”   Ben laughed and shook his head - dark hair swishing over his face and ‘smokey’ eye makeup. “Seriously?” 

“Yah. Seriously.”  Phillipa playfully bit back.

“You’re so cute when you’re nervous.”  Ben’s voice dripped with both sarcasm and baby-talk. He’d been squinting his eyes and making kissy faces - so he wasn’t prepared for the pillow that launched across the room at dangerous speeds and it hit him right in the head.

“OW!! .... Jerk!!”  But laughter bubbled up in his voice as he swung his long, skinny legs over the edge of the couch and pushed himself to his feet.  “Fine.. I’ll leave you and your phone alone - but that pillow to the face means you’re not getting the Alfredo you wanted tonight. If you want to eat... you’re going to have to go out on a date.”  He waggled his eyebrows, but they were hidden by the veil of layered, sharply textured hair that hung perpetually over his face.

“YOU.... suck.”  Laughter rung in Phil’s voice too, though.  “You can stay out here and eat your creamy nut butter...”   Innuendo was heavy in the last three words.

Ben grinned, dipped his spoon in, pulled out a massive scoop and shoved it into his face. “MMmmmm... too bad you don’t like nuts. You’re missing out.”   Phillipa fake gagged and headed to her room, where she could nervous text Emily. It took a few hours of typing something out and deleting it, typing something else and deleting that too before she finally settled on :  

[text:MoonMoon] Hey. Are you busy tonight?

Not really all that suave .. but it wasn’t the word vomit she’d started out with. Short.  Concise. And hopefully it didn’t betray how uncharacteristically shaky her hands were when she’d tapped it out on the tiny screen.

@shieldtots

[agentphilcollins]

This is one of the best lesbian movies i’ve seen and it’s a fricking car commercial