alanshumanhands

[alanshumanhands]

tiktok from rushadicus

gang what do we think, is this folkpunk?

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knights kissing

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i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.

[alanshumanhands]

anyone remember this vine

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reading the wiki for the american psycho movie every single thing it’s saying about christian bale has me in tears …….. he literally wanted the role so bad he got that buff in two weeks, rejected every other offer for 9 months while the producers tried to get dicaprio to be patrick bateman bc bale knew dicaprio would chicken out, went to dinner with the director and the guy who wrote the novel IN CHARACTER apparently scaring the shit out of the novelist, took the role for $50k, and then made all his costars think he was a giant freak bc he never fucking broke character, and APARENTLY LITERALLY HAS CONTROL OVER HIS SWEAT GLANDS AND USED THIS IN THE BUSINESS CARD SCENE

[alanshumanhands]

What Would Tenna's Wang Look Like?

(Updated to full post.) It seems as though the UT fandom generally at some point (somehow?) reached a consensus about what Sans' junk looked like as the Tumblr Sexyman of yore. Blue thing.

But... Genuine question here, what would TENNA's p- look like? When will the fandom generally reach a consensus about what it looks like, as Tumblr Sexyman neo? Most of the R34 art I've seen so far has him with some sort of human one which to me doesn't make sense it he's a TV, that implies that the rest of his body under the clothes is human flesh which is unnerving. I've seen some that has him with some sort of robotic equipment which makes more sense to me. But, and I ask this out of genuine curiosity on what you guys think. He's existed for like a month and a half at this point, but I can't imagine nobody else has thoughts about this. I m genuinely curious to know what you guys think.

If you're wondering my thoughts.... I can't picture him as anything other than being just like a Ken doll down there but maybe his thing would be detachable or something idk. Even that doesn't really feel right though. I've gotten AV/appliance cable so far which I like but that doesn't solve the problem of what comes out of it.

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"C'mon Johnny, don't be such a stick in the mud." "Yeah Johnny, stick it in his--" "Shut up, Jackie."

part 12, be sure to check out the rest of the series on patreon~

uncensored on: twitter | cohost | bluesky | patreon | substar

[alanshumanhands]

Johnny doesn't say much, just whispered apologies and heavy panting--though that might've been something else.

part 13, posting twice today to finish up a little quicker. tomorrow's exclusive should be the last part~

uncensored on: twitter | cohost | bluesky | patreon | substar

[alanshumanhands]

knight who is constantly searching for a good and noble king to serve but cannot fucking find one for the life of him so he has to become the good and noble king himself.

and now all these other knights are coming around like "please let me serve you" and like obviously hes going to let them serve him thats the point of being a good and noble king but its also. very annoying. one of you become the good and noble king for once lets trade

[alanshumanhands]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

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If you're struggling with the cost of living right now (reasonable), this is your PSA to...

Google universities/colleges near you.

If you can't get out to more than one, look up which one has the highest tuition.

Look-up when the graduation date is

Drive neighborhoods near the university the week before graduation

So much stuff gets left out on the curb. Wealthy college students tend to prioritize convenience over money, so instead of carefully reselling their perfectly good stuff, they frequently give it away or put it out with the trash because that's easier than moving, reselling, or donating. Take advantage of this.

I furnished pretty much my entire apartment from college giveaways and yardsales.

What I got for free:

Mattress and box springs

2 10 ft area rugs

The massive 9-drawer chest (that has a label on the back that it was custom-made and shipped across the country) that my TV sits on.

Two 13 x 2 ft raised garden beds

My desk - just sanded it down and refinished it.

Three short stools

An organizer rack

Watering can

Tommy Bahama outdoor cooler (retails for $350)

Chairs

Shelves

What I got for cheap:

Two futons for $50

Custom coffee table with storage for $25

Three tall stools for $30

[alanshumanhands]

captcha

[alanshumanhands]

2027: Wizards of the Coast and the American Psychological Association collaborate on the D&DSM, 6th Edition, widely regarded as the worst thing ever published

[alanshumanhands]

I just found out one of my favorite AO3 authors of all time is a fucking neurosurgeon which was surprising initially just because I often forget AO3 writers are real people and not smut angels sent down from the heavens to make us feel alive, but in hindsight it makes perfect sense.

they are a fucking genius so. they just apply that genius to multiple fields.

[alanshumanhands]

[guy with the Cant Focus Disorder] why the fuck can't I focus

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earlier my friend said to me “somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, there’s an all female rock band called ‘king’” and I’m STILL recovering from that mental image and how gay it made me feel

[alanshumanhands]

PLEASE BE MY FRIEND

Alright, taking a crack at this.

Hello! My name is Alanshumanhands. 21, he/him. I don't know how to make friends on this hellsite and also haven't been an avid Tumblr user since 2016.

Some of my interests/fandoms are: Dnd, Adventure Time, MCR, FOB, Ouran HS Host Club, Dropout TV, musical theater, Disco Elysium, Scott Pilgrim, indie/rock music, Evangelion, Monster High, Gravity Falls, cosplay, Smiling Friends, among others.

Uh yeah. Idk how this works.