alice-md-blog1

[alice-md-blog1]

Blowing your brains out- Page ~35

Mrs. G is basically dying, and trying to wake her up is basically useless. He opens Mrs G’s eye and it is unresponsive- something that apparently, happens enough for the doctors there to give it a name; which is ‘blowing her brain’.

[I am fully aware of what the book is going to be, there was enough foreshadowing, with a literal reference to what this book is for earlier on. I’ll go down the rabbit hole, though]

Now, this woman has been through multiple strokes, and her veins are breaking, going to her brain and killing her part by part. It’s spreading and if the brain doesn’t do it, the disease will. It could shut off the parts that it is spreading to, so that its progress stops, but that’ll kill her anyway- and so it’ll take the last piece out before the dominos reach it.

I’m thinking of it in this way because of what her body is doing for her. It’s breaking, and every piece of her is to be affected. Her life faded, it began dying and she couldn’t speak even basic words; the brain finally gave up, and accepted death. I love the name they gave it- Blowing her brains. She, a woman barely able to function (But looks as though she could jump out of bed like a spring) has chosen not to make the physical effort to kill herself, but to have her brain do it interally, blowing her brains out without a bullet. 

But why wouldn’t she get up to do it? She was discharged multiple times and would be able to have a walk around, enough chances to kill herself. Perhaps she hadn’t given up, being positive, optimistic on the outside- or in the doctors eyes. Inside, she was dead anyway, the words didn’t come, and even if she felt better than she ever had then it would never be expressed nor said.

I think that there was no ‘giving up’ on the situation. her brain knew that it could work, but with a few side effects afterwards, even blood thinners until she died. 

I don’t think there was any reason, yet, to give up. The outcome looked good, she had survived many times before- but that’s the point. Each time, there are side effects, and now she is worse than ever. Even if she survived, there would be permanant damage, and even if she was able to bring back a small enough portion of her life then she might not be able to show it, ever. She had no friends to visit her, no workmates, and not even her children were there- either from being told not to by her (via phone) or by the other half, if showed up at all. 

That’s the end of the post. It’s a small event in he book, and I haven’t read what happens yet because I wanted to write this before I found out. I thought that it was so interesting, the idea of the brain, the heart and soul giving up like this- the heart and veins trading blows with the brain, fighting as always, and almost killing all of us daily. 

I guess that her heart wanted her brain dead, for choosing business and her personal life over loved ones, friends and her heart. I guess that her brain wanted them all dead. 

;Alice

Tumblrs:

http://inkedsnook.tumblr.com

http://alice-md.tumblr.com

Instagram:

http://instagram.com/adactylous

;Tags-

[alice-md-blog1]

Intro post to http://alice-md.tumblr.com | I’m currently reading a book called ‘Reaching down the rabbit hole’, this blog is to post about the things happening in that book- what I think of it all after being put into the world of a doctor; something very interesting to me.  I own no rights to this book- I am just a reader. Thanks

I’m bad with names, so that’s going to be a thing throughout the blog- either avoiding them completely, or getting them wrong. If you don’t want that, don’t follow, thanks.

I’ve owned a couple of Tumblrs back in the edgy teenager years, so I thought that I would come back, to see how it is. My main account is Inked’s Nook (Link), both that account and my own are grown/posted to myself, and I take a lot of time on that, it’s both a hobby and a challenge (being challenge is also a hobby) to manage these blogs.  The previous blogs were popular enough (In the League scene) to reach today’s login screen/radar- if that’s how that thing works. This one has the Alice in Wonderland thing going because of the book and beacuse of someone I used to know through Tumblr. 

Thanks for reading, I hope you stick around to experience this book with me. I don’t read through my posts, so enjoy that. Comments, hearts and reblogs are always a great thing to get from people who enjoy this. 

See you all around Tumblr!

-Alice, M.D