allegranardi

[allegranardi]

As his tears clouded his eyes, she could feel hers coming out as well - yet she knew she had to be stronger. For him.. for them. Just as she knew there was a big possibility not everything would turn fine in the end.. perhaps Rhett would never get clean - and perhaps they would never ever know how to be with each other without the drugs in their systems.. well, his. "I'm not going anywhere, love." Allegra stated matter of factly. He was crazy if he thought she would let him go through that on his own.. yet that thought vanished upon the warmth of his cheeks that were burrowed deeply into her neck. And she could swear with her life he never ever kept her so close to him.. as if he was scared she would vanish in thin air due to the nature of their conversation. "Rhett.." her heart broke upon hearing his words. How could he even think something like that? He was the love of her life.

Wrapping her arms around him even tighter - if it was even possible - she swallowed hard. "What if you won't like me when you get clean? That's also a possibility.." if anyone else was listening to their conversation, they would probably think the two of them were absolutely out of their mind. Rhett & Allegra were in love.. it was as clear as the sky is blue. Nothing could come between us and in her heart she knew that this step was just the new beginning for the two of them. And perhaps she was naive to think it would be easy, but she was in love, wasn't it? She believed in him with all of her heart, and even more so, she knew he could do it. "I won't leave you, not now, not ever, love. I just think we deserve to be happy.. and have lots of days ahead of us.. and I want you to get better. To.. I just want you. And I don't care if you don't remember yourself.. we'll find you again. Together.. no matter how long it takes us."

To be quite honest, he didn't quite expect their conversation to change so rapidly to something so intense in the middle of the street. But that was just how he and Allegra were. Nothing else really mattered when they were together. He liked it that way. She was the reason why he believed he could survive somewhere other than New York City. She was the reason for so many things in his life. So many good things. And what was Rhett responsible for in her life? Oh right, uprooting her entire existence and moving plum across the country, fearing for her life. It wasn't quite equal and that absolutely broke his heart.

As she spoke, Rhett didn't move his arms from around her lithe frame, listening to each and every word she said. Of course, she was thinking about what it was like without the drugs. Why wouldn't she? Hearing that they had gone too far was a surprise, however. And her question was even an even bigger one to him. Since he had known her, she had never said anything about his drug use. It was a thing that happened and that was that. But he supposed that things changed when they started dating and admitted how much one another meant.

Her words hit him like a freight train and Rhett almost forgot how to breathe for a moment. How had he never known she was afraid of what he was doing? Had she voiced it before and he just...didn't listen? Or was the look in eyes whenever he used supposed to be enough for him to figure that out? Spending the rest of his life with Allegra was exactly what he wanted, however long that was going to be. And it wasn't fair for him to just keep shortening it day by day when she would be forced to live on.

Tears slowly began to cloud his vision and he dropped his head, swallowing hard, "I'm scared." Rhett admitted to Allegra, his voice quivering, "It's going to be so hard." He was worried he wouldn't even make it through the withdrawal, "I don't want to put you through that." He knew Allegra wouldn't leave his side for it either. She would be beside him every step of the way, through the good and the bad and that hurt him more. It yet another thing she would be doing for him while Rhett was just taking. A few tears trailed down his gaunt cheeks as he burrowed his face into her neck, keeping her close to him, "You've only known me like this. What if you don't...what if you don't like me when I'm clean?" He asked softly, his hands curling into the fabric of her jacket, "I can barely remember me before..."

[allegranardi]

As she felt his lips on her temple, the blonde softly smiled totally unprepared for what he would say next. It was one thing for her to think what kind of life they'd have if there were no drugs involved in it, but it was something entirely else to know it was on his mind as well. She could live without it, but Rhett.. truth be told, she wanted to believe he could do it, but she was too scared to face the possibility the truth was entirely different. "You do?" As if buying herself more time to accept his statement, she took a deep breathe wondering was now the right time to actually ask that of him.. ask him to stop using so they could have the life they deserved.

Biting her bottom lip, she nodded. "I am thinking about it. I think.. we perhaps went too far." Allegra wasn't innocent by no means, but they both knew who the real problem was.. after all, it was the reason why they had found themselves living in the city of grunge and Starbucks, and truth be told, it wasn't Allegra's favorite place to be. "Do you think you could.. I don't know.. stop? Get clean? I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, love, but.. it's.." the real fear was that he would choose drugs over her. With all of her heart she knew he was in love with her, but she was aware of how powerful addiction to drugs was - and Rhett didn't have it under control, no matter how much perhaps they were both thinking so. "I'm just scared I'll lose you and I don't want that. I don't want to live in the constant fear of losing you.. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Throwing out some big words that were nothing but truth, Allegra's lips lightly brushed Rhett's as she let out a small sigh and found his eyes again. "And I'm scared if we continue living like this.. it would never happen."

Unfortunately, Allegra had a point. It would be far quicker and easier to pay back his dealer if they were both working on it... But he still felt awful that she had to even be involved in it, which was entirely his fault. He dragged the person he loved more than anything into his stupid mess. But that was just how being a drug addict was, wasn't it? He would, inevitably, drag everyone down with him until there wasn't anyone else. He hated to think about that reality. And sure, he could change it by simply quitting. But it wasn't that easy. The chokehold heroin had on him was stronger than anything. Rhett was convinced he couldn't live without it... But he couldn't live without Allegra either.

He smiled a sad smile at her statement, running his fingers through his hair as she pressed herself to his chest, "Right." He said softly, "And you're mine. I suppose that was a stupid statement." Rhett joked before he released a puff of air, "If you really want to help with the money, I suppose I can't stop you... But know I don't like it." He really didn't. Rhett wanted to fix it all on his own but that was going to be impossible unless he somehow got discovered by a big record producer in the next few hours. And let's be real, that was never going to happen.

Hearing her next question, the blond wrapped his arms tighter around Allegra, swaying softly in the middle of the sidewalk. He didn't care. When Allegra was there, she was the only thing that existed in his world. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple, placing his cheek on her head, "I have." Pause, "I do." Rhett actively thought about it. A lot, really. "I'm sure you do too." There was no way Allegra didn't. She was made of daydreams. "I think about it fairly frequently. Especially lately."

[allegranardi]

Rhett was crazy if he was thinking he was paying that debt on his own. "It's not my responsibility, but the sooner we get the money, the better. And it's easier when two people are involved." While some things were left unsaid, Allegra could feel their presence hovering over them.. her boyfriend was a drug addict. One day Rhett could have the money, the next day he could spend it all on drugs.. and she hated it. To know nothing was certain.. sometimes she felt as if she was losing herself in worry. Worry over Rhett, over money.. but one look at him - it would all disappear. Until the reality would hit her once again.

Closing her eyes to those I love you's of his, the blonde tenderly smiled against his chest. To be fair, when it came to the two of them, nothing was certain. It was never meant to be certain, but then it happened - love happened, and all of a sudden all she wanted was to be tied down to him forever. As silly as it sounds, but one drunk kiss led to nothing but a wish for eternity spent together. But as he cupped her chin and their eyes met each other, a part of her wished to roll her eyes at him, but the thing was.. she'd have said the same thing to him. "That would be easy to do, babe, if you're not my future and my happiness." But how fragile was that, wasn't it? To put your entire happiness into the hands of one person.. and she was absolutely certain he'd guard it with his life - if there was no monster grabbing him by his throat. And she wanted to ask him whether they'd ever have their future together, but.. she didn't want to hear those sweet lies - not tonight. "Have you.." but she couldn't help herself, could she? "Have you ever thought about what kind of life we'd have if there was no drugs?" Because she wasn't saint either.. the only difference between them was she was still walking down the purgatory road while Rhett.. he was in hell.

He smiled at her words and he couldn't help but laugh. The fact that Allegra called him a rockstar always made him smile. Rhett was far from it. He doubted he ever would get to the point of being a bonafide rockstar, but it would be cool. However, Allegra seemed pretty adamant about telling her boss about him so who was he to deny her? Plus, it would be money and they definitely needed that, "Okay." He smiled, "Yeah, I mean, I'd hate to deprive you of seeing me up there." Rhett joked and bumped his shoulder into her with a grin.

His brow raised just a bit as she mentioned the architecture thing and Rhett eventually smiled, "That's great, love." He said, "That sounds like a pretty amazing opportunity." Rhett wasn't sure if she wasn't if she actually wanted to pursue that career path, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to look into it, right? That's how he saw it, at least. Her next question got a sigh out of him, and he ran his fingers through his blond locks, "Not much." He answered sincerely, "But you know that it's not your responsibility, darling. I can handle it. I'll pay him back." Rhett hated knowing that Allegra was taking on his debt simply because she was with him. It wasn't fair.

Allegra's rambling was interesting to him. Especially when she told him to forget about what she was saying and was soon pulling him in for a hug. Immediately, Rhett wrapped his boney arms around her and held her close as his fingers softly massaged the base her scalp, "I really, really love you, Allegra." He told her, "You need to do what's best for you, darling. You don't have to worry about me or anything like that. Your future and your happiness are important." His hand moved to softly cup her chin and tilt her head back to look at him, "You know that, right?"

[allegranardi]

Squeezing his hand in hers a bit stronger this time, she dismissed his words entirely. "Of course I want to, Rhett. You're a great musician and you'll attract many new customers so it's a win-win situation for all of us. Especially me because I can watch my rockstar boyfriend play." Not to mention she could keep an eye on him - not that she'd ever say that at loud, but her worry for him was growing with each passing day.. the more she was falling for him, the more she was scared she'd lose him. Allegra thought about telling him her fears, giving them a shape of the realness, yet the underlaying question was what if he would choose heroin over her? Because that's how it worked. So what she did was hushing those thoughts of hers every single time.

Meeting his smile with hers, she lightly shook her head. "No, you're perfect as you are. You know, David has a friend who's an architect and has his own studio here so uhm.. I don't know, he wants to get to know me tonight. I don't even know if I want to work for himr or work as an architect at all," because how could she? Spending too much time at work meant spending very little time with Rhett. And a) it wasn't something she wanted, b) she was scared of what would happen to him.. yet the money would be better. So much better than now. "How much do we have so far? The money I mean." The money they were owing to the drug dealer they were running away from.. well, Rhett was in debt, but at the end of the day it was their debt, wasn't it? "Because if I accept this job, it will be easier to pay him off. And then, that's one less thing to worry about, love. But at the same time, I don't want to work all day and not see you at all. You know what, forget it." Allegra momentarily stopped walking and pulled Rhett in a hug. "I love you. You know that, right? I really, really love you." If she would said it thousand times to him then maybe he would choose her over the monster under whose control he was.

If there was one thing Allegra, she always knew how to make him smile. His blue eyes turned up towards the sky as she spoke and he squinted, trying to catch those stars she was speaking of. They were barely noticeable but they were there enough for him to agree with her statement, "The stars know all, darling." Rhett told her with a smile as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her soft cheek. She would never know how much it meant to him that she agreed to leave the city with him and move across the country. Rhett expected her to stay behind. Why would she come? But she didn't. She left with him without another word. She really was the best person.

His brows flicked as she mentioned playing at his bar, "I mean...yeah, if you want to do that. Don't feel obligated though. I can figure out something else." Rhett would always figure out something. He had been toying around the idea of selling his vinyl's since they moved out there. He didn't want to...but he would if it meant helping out as much as he could. It was difficult because he had a drug habit to supply as well and that often took any money he had. He recognized quitting would just be cheaper but...he just couldn't.

Pushing that thought aside, he smiled as she brought up David and his head nodded, "Yep, I remember." He mentioned and his brow raised, "I mean...yeah, why not?" Rhett asked, rhetorically. He didn't really think anything good would come from the party except for some free drinks and weird stares but at least they could say they went, right? All opportunities were missed if you didn't try, "Let's do it. Yeah. Do I need special attire?" He asked with a smile.

[allegranardi]

If she had any doubts whether moving across the country for this man was worth it, they would all vanish the moment he would take his hand in hers. She didn't care they barely had any money or that they were technically on a run.. Rhett let her be who she wanted to be - loving her despite all of her flaws. "Don't worry, tomorrow will be better. It's written up in the stars, see?" Pointing at the barely visible starry sky with her free hand, she smiled at it wondering what the fate had written for the two of them. "You know what, I will ask my boss if you can play in the bar. And I promise I'll not throw my bra at you.. or do I?" She let her voice stumble into an eruption of giggles before it died down and she responded with a mere shrug when it came to her job. "The usual. It was packed with some cool people and some drunks, though I got $30 tip from someone so that was good. Though I really don't know why he gave me such a big tip when all the guy ordered was a beer, but I have a theory he was trying to impress the woman sitting next to him. They did leave together so.."

But it dawned her. "Oh, yeah, David came today. You know him, I told you all about him, the director guy.. anyway, he invited us to his party tonight. And considering he's a director, he probably knows a lot of cool people so if we go.." giving him her best puppy eyes, "we can maybe meet some of the people from the music industry too? You know movies and music always go hand in hand. What do you think, love?"

A cheeky smile crossed his lips as Allegra played along with his dumb joke and before he knew it, she was leaning over the bar to give him a kiss. Something he was just wanting all the time, "Hello, love." He spoke and nodded as she wandered off to grab her coat. His eyes shifted around the bar for a moment as he looked at the patrons and her fellow coworkers. She had been working there for a couple of months now. He wondered how they felt about them as a couple, honestly. Rhett often wondered that, it seemed. People didn't seem to get them, even though they were literally meant to be with each other. People just...didn't get it, maybe? Who knows...

As she stepped back out, he smiled once again and immediately their hands were in one another as they walked down the street. It was dark out and Rhett just felt better walking her home. Plus, it wasn't like he had a job or anything. It was the very least he could do. His idly swung their arms as they walked and he shrugged, "It was okay." He said, "I didn't...make a whole lot but you know. It wasn't the worst." Rhett hated the fact that he couldn't keep a legitimate job. There was just no way he could do it. Not in the state he was in. "I'm going to go around to some other local bars and see if they need anyone to play for a gig or something." He shrugged, "How was working, love?"

[allegranardi]

@intothegreyx

“My soul and yours are the same, You appear in me, I in you, We hide in each other.”

— Rumi (via wordsnquotes)

[allegranardi]

... the fire.

[allegranardi]

A smile came out as soon as she heard that voice - that accent of his. Whatever troubles they were caught in, with him it was always easier to go through it all. And now.. to say they were seriously fucked up would be an understatement. Yet there was no doubt in her mind she made a right choice upon leaving New York to be with him. "Oh, it does ring a bell.." leaning closer to him, Allegra looked aside before she returned her eyes on the blond. "Wait a sec, I'll go get her," making a move as if she was about to leave yet quickly coming back to her prior position. "Oh, look, here she is.. hi, you." She leaned closer to him to leave a peck on his lips, yet smiling into his lips as she sensed that familiar scent of his. It felt like home.. & that was the thing - Rhett was home. "Give me a sec to grab my coat, babe," she made her way to the back room and in less than a minute she was back in the bar with him. It was sweet, wasn't it? How it was just the two of them.. & all they had was just each other. "I missed you," words that didn't have to be even said because there was not a time of the day she didn't want to be with him. "How did it go tonight? Playing?" she asked as their hands found their way to each other.. walking hand in hand, it truly seemed as if nothing was standing in their way, despite both knowing how far away that was from the truth.

Special Delivery for @allegranardi

When Rhett had moved to New York, he assumed that was going to be for the rest of his life. Rhett wasn't much for traveling, honestly, and he liked staying put. However, that just wasn't going to work out anymore considering he had royally screwed the pooch for not only himself, but Allegra as well. He put her life in danger just by being with him and Rhett couldn't just sit around and think about everything that could go wrong. They had to go somewhere...

So Seattle it was.

It took some adjusting but they were getting there. Allegra got a job. Rhett... did not but that was nothing new. They both knew he couldn't keep one even if he did get one. So, he just played on street corners, trying to make money or, if he was lucky, some gigs at local bars or cafe. Rhett had played around the city for most of the night while Allegra worked and afterwards, he found himself at her bar, ready to walk her home. With his guitar case on his back, he approached the bar and leaned on it, "I am looking for the hottest, most beautiful blond, Italian bartender in all of Seattle. Does she work here?" He asked with a grin.

[allegranardi]

★ Rhett Matthews & Allegra Nardi ★

                          When the darkest part of you meets the darkest part of me, it creates light.  

@rhettmatthewsx

[allegranardi]

Name: Allegra Sofia Nardi Nicknames: Allie Gender/Pronouns: Cis-Female, her/hers Age: 26 Birthday: June 11th, 1996 Zodiac: Gemini Sun, Virgo Rising, Pisces Moon Hometown: Rome, Italy Neighborhood: West Point Homes, Seattle Occupation: A bartender (architect) Sexuality: Heterosexual. Relationship status: Dating Rhett Matthews Positive traits: innovative, fearless, reliable Negative traits: reckless, impulsive, jealous

tw: alcohol, drugs.

Born to an Italian mother and an American father in the beginning of what would be an incredibly hot Italian summer, Allegra spent the first three years of her life in Rome living in a small, yet a happy family of three - her mom, her older brother & herself. And what about her dad? Well, her parents were in a long distance relationship that started during her mother’s college years in the States. Her father couldn’t move to Rome because he was a DEA agent, while her mother never wanted to live in the States. However, when her mother had finally decided to move the small family to New York so that they could all finally be together, her parents decided to break up.. after seven months of living together. And New York was nothing like Rome, not even close.. but it became a home. 

Friendly as she was, Allegra had managed to find herself a great set of friends and hobbies that made her life much sweeter in The Big Apple. Yet it was one hobby that managed to stand out - ballet. And she was dancing till she was seventeen years old, even dreaming of turning pro one day. A talented dancer, Allegra was spending all of her time in the ballet classroom till her toes would be literally bleeding, but she didn���t care about the pain or the tears - it was all she wanted to do. However all good things must come to an end, don’t they? A sudden knee injury prevented her from turning into a professional ballet dancer.. Allegra had never really recovered from her dream shattering into a million pieces.

Considering there was no future for her in the world of ballet, Allegra enrolled into the Columbia University majoring in History of Art & Architecture. Whether she wanted to work as an architect or not was not so much important to her as her days were filled with partying. To forget the pain caused by the loss of her dream, the girl could be found at every damn party, numbing herself to the point of not knowing who she was. Drinking wasn’t an enemy of hers, but a very dear friend, just as doing drugs wasn’t unknown to her. But she had it under control, didn’t she? It was during the weekends only, and to be fair, it wasn’t even every weekend - well, not anymore. And perhaps she couldn’t even remember when was the last time she even took something. But how many times had she woken up not remembering anything at all? Or the times she had found herself lying next to the unknown men in unknown bedrooms? She never cared about anyone except having fun.. it was all she wanted to do.

But it all come to an end when she met a certain blond musician - Rhett Matthews. It didn’t take them long to hook up, with both more than keen to just have fun, but it took them quite long to confess to themselves and each other there was more to the two of them than just sex. From the meaningless kisses to the days & nights spent together not wanting to let each other go.. they fell in love. And boy, did they fall - it was one of those I-can’t-live-without-you loves.. the one they had no control over whatsoever, so it wasn’t surprising that Allegra decided to pack her suitcases and move to Seattle with Rhett. No questions asked.. the bottom line was, all she wanted was to be with him. 

[allegranardi]