allelitemun

[allelitemun]

47 (count 'em!) swear words for the "47th President"

Fucking Asshole Crybaby Piece of Shit Disgrace to the Fucking House He Fucking Stole Like the Cheating Cunt He Fucking Is Cries Like A Fucking Toddler Every Fucking Day and Fucking Embarrasses the Nation Every Fucking Day His Miserable Old Fucking Ass Fucking Squats In the White Fucking House Holy Shit How Is Our Fucking Nation So Fucking Stupid We Actually Thought This Phony-Ass Spoiled Fucking Rich Pissbaby Was The Better Option Compared To Better And More Fucking Qualified People Just Because They Have Fucking Boobs And A Fucking Cunt Holy Fucking Shit Just Get Off My Fucking TV Already Or Go The Fuck Back To That Lame-Ass Reality Show The Apprentice And Leave Fucking Politics To Fucking People Who Know What The Fuck They're Fucking Doing Oh Man Good Fucking Grief I Have Honestly In All My Fucking Life Never Lost More Fucking Respect For A Fucking Famous Person And I Lived Through The Bill Fucking Cosby Trials And Honestly, This Fucking Shitstain Should Have Had His Ass Thrown In Fucking Prison Like Big Bill But Thanks To Our Fucking Stupidity As A Nation Instead He's Back In Charge Of Our Nuclear Fucking Weapons Man I Wish He'd Just Fucking Die Already And Finally Fuck Off Our TV Screens The Disgrace of the United States

(My masterpiece description of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named)

holy shit

[allelitemun]

Join us next week, as A Boy and His Waifus (Mun ZM, Monika, and Hatsune Miku) take on Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Brain Worms Kennedy!

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

Before I can celebrate, I break out and beat down Trump with my bat again. Then, dragging his lifeless body up the ramp and on the stage, I take a page out of Big Show's book and chokeslam him into one of the lighting fixtures, sparking a big, beautiful eruption of sparks and pyrotechnics all around Trump!

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

I drag Trump's lifeless carcass to the middle of the ring and pin him for the finish. 1... 2... 3! The bell rings, and the crowd erupts. The winner of the match... Mun ZM!

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

Trump escapes, but I'm locked in and ready to hit the finish! Going to the corner and getting in position, I spear Trump and pick him up by that ugly rat's nest he calls a hairstyle, and drop him down with my trademark kick-out neckbreaker! The crowd goes wild!

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

I call for the finish, but Trump counters and tries to mount a comeback. Improvising, I grab him and drop him with a Tombstone piledriver before grabbing his legs and locking him in a Scorpion Deathlock. Get through this legendary finisher combo, "Mr. President"!

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

I then pull out a bag of thumbtacks and dump the contents in a pile on the ring canvas. Propping a half-conscious Trump on the ring corner, I climb the turnbuckle and give him a big, beautiful superplex... right onto the pile of thumbtacks! That definitely got the president awake... and writhing in agony on the canvas!

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

I then grab his legs and call for my signature spot! Pointing at his junk and doing a throat slit hand gesture, I then give him 21 nut stomps in a row! The crowd is in on it counting the stomps!

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8..."

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

I grab a chair and climb back into the ring, and wait for Trump to slowly get back in as well. When he does, I throw the chair to him...

And then kick it back in his face and send him down on his ass, Rob Van Dam-style!

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

Trump and I brawl outside the ring, exchanging punches and strikes to get an edge over the other. Eventually, I throw him into the barricade and slam his head into it.

Then, pulling him by that ugly-ass combover, I get him up up on the steel steps, pick him up... and drop him down with a piledriver on the steel ring steps!

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

Not quite, as Trump slowly gets up and gets back on the stage. He hobbles over slowly trying get to the ring...

I catch him and nail him with a flip dive over the top rope to the outside!

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

I get back in the ring and pose on the corner turnbuckle for the crowd as Trump still lays in the wreckage, half-dead.

"ZM! ZM!"

"ZM! ZM!"

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

Then, I set up a table in the area below the stage, light it on fire... and chokeslam Trump through it!

Insert crowd chants of "Holy shit! Holy shit!"

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

I give Trump a spinebuster on the stage and pick up a barbed wire 2x4, wail on him with it.

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

The crowd boos as Trump appears dressed in his red MAGA cap and tries to rally the crowd. ZM doesn't give him much of a chance to make an entrance, though, as he rushes him on the stage and lays him out with the bat and beats him down with it!

He poses for the fans before continuing to beat down 47. Riddle me this, riddle me that... who's afraid of the big black bat?

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

The lights go out, and mun walks to the stage, baseball bat in hand, to the roar of the crowd. He's clad in a black hat like the Undertaker wore, and face paint and a black longcoat like Sting wore. He poses as pyro goes off behind him.

He gets to the ring and jumps on the apron as pyro shoots up from the ring in the shape of an 'X'.

Ladies and gentlemen... shit is about to hit the fan. There are no rules! There are no disqualifications! This is no holds barred! In one corner, the twice impeached, once disgraced 45th, now 47th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. In the other, a combatant as mysterious as he is unpredictable, this is ZM! (allelitemun)

oh good not a spam message I just woke up

[allelitemun]

"ZM/X isn't a real wrestler! He's just a thug who beats people up with a baseball bat and kicks them in the crotch, no different than the other criminals I've deported these last 100 days. But, rest assured, I will defeat him and send his ass packing straight to El Salvador for the rest of his miserable life-"

"And you're not even a real president! You're just some spoiled crybaby who spent the last ten years whining because the last real president we had had the gall to make jokes at your expense in a town meeting! And funny you should call me a thug when last I checked, it was you who made a damn career out of bullying, demeaning, and humiliating anyone and everyone not immediately kissing your pathetic old ass! But, if you wanna pretend to be president again, so be it. Tonight... the 'president' gets assassinated!"

A slight slugfest occurs, which ends with ZM gaining the upperhand and dropping Trump with a kick-out neckbreaker and leaving him laying in the middle of the ring.