am-i-the-last-dreamer

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

Osprey !

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

h-hey guys

apparently clouded leopards can use their claws to hang upside down

wild huh

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

told my mom my cat had a cold and she asked the most important question

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

Reblog the 500,000 dollar written check from Seto Kaiba and money will come your way.

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

if cities are vampires then small towns are ghosts i think. cities constantly hunger for fresh blood, but the blood that sustains a small town is an old and dried stain that you can never entirely scrub out. a city will feed on you, but if you truly want to leave, it can't keep you. a small town will follow you anywhere. it lingers like a chill at every threshold. once it has you, it has no intention of ever letting you go.

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

Crossing the river 🐈‍⬛🌿

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

I think u should start writing your original story btw. I want to read it.

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

i am some sort of fey creature and my cat is the human who i have arbitrarily decided is my favorite human.

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

why am i so haunted

sorry hold on i couldnt find the gif I wanted but I found this one instead, why is he so cunty?

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

In case you think the writers on strike aren't making good use of their time, think no more!

Only click the read more if you're fully prepared. I'm taking no responsibility past this point.

Help a guy out. He's stuck. Who's got 18 brothers who all wanna cook. (source)

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

this post altered my brain so now whenever i have a bowl of any food i think Oh fuck yes it’s a little bowl of seeds for me

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

can i come over and do this

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

A huge 375-pound black bear was drowning under the Tallac Bridge in South Lake Tahoe. It had been given a sedative by wildlife officers, but the drug made it weak and it started sinking fast.

People on the shore could only watch—until a man from Russia, Ivan Stepanov, quickly removed his shoes and jumped into the freezing lake. The bear had wandered into a neighborhood before being tranquilized, and now it struggled to stay alive. Ivan swam hard, held the bear’s head above the water, and softly spoke to it in Russian to keep it calm.

Slowly, inch by inch, he guided the bear to the shore. Officers checked its health, tagged its ear, and later released it safely into the Sierra Nevada mountains.

When asked why he risked his life, Ivan simply said:

“In my country, we believe real strength is shown by who you protect—even if it has claws.”

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

If you’re not ready to have a deaf child don’t have children.