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amatariki · 1 day ago

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ARMY DREAMERS 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ what a waste of army dreamers

(𝓐UTREMENT) — your loving and sweet boyfriend enlists in the army for two years after having convincing each other that everything will be alright. but will it?

天使ℳade :: soldier bf!sim jaeyun x army gf!fem!reader ⋆˚✿˖° 𝒆𝒔𝒕. (1.9k) (ℒ)lust. angst, death, kissing, skinship, very little fluff ig

ᥫ᭡⊹ ࣪ ˖ (1) notification! this hurt me to write so much i swear but yall can blame my dreams and my rage after getting my exam results back for this fucker <3 i also want to mention that this work quotes the comment from 'hugeneral647' from this post and i wish to give credit here so yeah :3

💋 #reblog for kisses ☆゙ catalogue ˖°— 𝐕𝐎𝐋.𝐗𝐕

You had started to doze off when something thumping against your window woke you up.

You rolled onto your back, craning your neck to the left to look towards the window.

Brows creasing into a frown, you push yourself up off your bed and stalk towards the window to peer out, only to meet the familiar brown eyes belonging to your boyfriend.

Pushing up the window, you call out in a voice only loud enough for him and the singular crow outside to hear, “Jake? What are you doing here?”

“What, I can’t see my beautiful girlfriend when I miss her?” he asks, tilting his head and pouting in an attempt to look pathetic even though his tone and intentions are anything but.

“You can see me tomorrow,” you reason, but it’s not enough to stop the boy from now scaling your wall in an attempt to get to you.

Huffing, you reach down to help him. Not because you weren’t confident that he couldn’t manage to do it on his own, but because every time he carried out this stupid feat, a gnawing worry would always pester you by replaying the possibility that he might fall and get hurt in your head.

The worry dissipates when Jake swings his legs over the windowsill, now standing in front of you in your room.

You open your mouth to tell him off, but you're cut off by him pulling you into a bear hug.

His gaze drags over your features, committing every little feature, every little imperfection that makes you perfect to him, to his memory. You swallow under the intensity of his gaze, burning up at the way he looks at you, as if you are a goddess whose being and presence he has been blessed with.

His head drops to rest in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent almost as if he were memorizing it. The warm vanilla that enveloped you, the sugary sweetness that never failed to drive him crazy every time.

“What are you doing?” you croak out.

“I love you,” he murmurs, choosing to ignore your question and be content with placing gentle kisses on the area where your neck meets the rest of your body instead.

Turmoil stirs up inside the pit of your stomach at your boyfriend's new and strange behavior, causing you to push him away just enough to meet his gaze.

“Jake, what’s wrong?”

Jake seems hesitant for a second, further stirring up burning flakes of blazing distress inside you. He pulls away slightly with a sigh, his hands still resting on your hips, his right thumb rubbing circles.

“I enlisted in the army.”

Your eyes fly wide, unconsciously taking a step away from your boyfriend in response to this metaphorical bomb he just dropped on your poor heart.

“What…” you whisper. “But you didn’t want to go into the military…y-you wanted to go to college…and study physics. Not this…”

“I know,” he says. “I know. I did want to do that. And I still want to do that. But Mom is sick. And college is expensive. I need money right now. I can’t wait for three to four years to start earning.”

“Jake, I—,” the words get caught in your throat along with the tears clouding your eyes. You swallow painfully. “Jake, but…you could do something else. Please don’t do this. You could get hurt, you could…”

The word ‘die’ doesn’t come out of your chest, choosing to stay inside and weigh down on your suffering heart instead. But your eyes give it away for Jake to see it. And you know he knows by the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he fervently swallows.

“Nothing else pays as much as this does…” he states, his voice breathy.

“I’ll help then,” you urge. “We’ll both get a job.”

“No,” Jake cuts through sternly. It’s not a comforting ‘no’, it’s a command. It’s a wall that prevents you from saying anything more on the matter because Jake has decided, and he isn’t turning back. “You’re going to stay here and go to college. And I’ll come back. It’s just two years. I’ll go to college afterwards.”

He cupped your face, thumb stroking your soft cheek. Leaning in, he pressed your foreheads together.

“It’ll be alright, angel,” he says soothingly, reaching up with his other hand to wipe off the tears now streaking down your face. “Don’t cry, please. Your tears wrench my heart whenever I see them. I can’t handle seeing you like this, angel.”

“I’m not crying, Jake,” you say, forcing down a sob. “I’m really not.”

“I leave tomorrow,” Jake tells you. “I didn’t know if I could see you tomorrow, so I wanted to see you tonight for one last time before I go.”

He sighs. “I didn’t tell you earlier because I knew you would try to talk me out of joining. And then, maybe, I wouldn’t have enlisted…and Mom’s treatment…”

“It’s okay,” you hum, knowing that’s exactly what you would’ve done and understanding why Jake did what he did.

“You’ll write to me, right?” you ask. Writing to each other would be your sole source of comfort in this difficult period you were being forced to endure by the twin sisters of Fate and Time, who could be rather cruel at times.

“Always,” Jake promises. “I’ll always write to you. I’ll write you so many letters you’re going to be sick of me.”

A laugh blossoms from your throat at that remark.

“I’ll never get tired of your letters,” you snort. “I love you too much for that.”

“I love you so much,” he replies, closing the space between the two of you as he captures your lips into a bittersweet kiss.

And when he pulls away, you look at him differently. You look at him in the same peculiar way he looked at you when he came in here tonight. Your eyes worked like a camera, storing every little part of him to the storage that was your heart.

Because there was a chance you would never see him ever again.

You feel nothing as your knees buckle and you crash into the wet ground. Tears run down your face so quickly that you think you’ll drown in them soon. Your body shakes, and you slump onto the casket in front of you.

When Jake said he’d come back. You didn’t expect he meant it in this way.

Your hands reached out into the casket, fingers trailing the soft face you once held, the plump lips you once kissed, the luscious eyelashes that fluttered every time you gazed into the dark brown, teasing, inviting eyes that his eyelids held underneath. His skin used to be warm, growing hotter whenever you dragged your fingers across it. But now, it was like it was made of cold marble. His colorful face, which flushed red whenever he beheld your gaze, was now drained of all its color, replaced with an eerie pale blue.

He was gone.

And now he was no longer yours. The love of your life gifted to you by Life was torn away from you brutally, clamped around the ferocious jaws of Death.

Jake’s older brother rubs your shoulders gently, trying to offer you some comfort silently.

“But he loved everyone,” you wail, the touch breaking you, almost as if you were trying to reason with Death. “It’s not fair.”

It was probable that he wasn’t listening, or more likely that he didn’t care. Because Death doesn’t care for anyone. Death was a heartless thing that didn’t feel, because if it knew how to do so, everyone would probably have been immortal.

“You promised me,” you whisper to Jake’s lifeless body, knowing very well that he wouldn’t hear it. But grief made a person go insane, and insane people did insane things like try to talk to corpses. “You said you’d come back. You said it would be alright. You lied to me.” The broken accusation was lost to the wind, forever unheard.

A soldier stepped towards you, offering you a chest. “These were soldier Sim’s belongings,” he says coolly, and your heart breaks a little bit more at how the soldier didn’t care. Because Jake was no more than a puppet among many others in this barbaric game called war that leaders played for their vendetta. And if he did care, if Jake did matter to him, the soldier definitely made sure to erase any trace of it from his face, his voice, his body language.

You look up at Jake’s older brother, your eyes flitting between him and his parents, your eyes asking whether it was okay for you to have it instead of them.

And he nods in response, giving you the green light.

A sob ransacks your body as you ungracefully grapple the chest from the soldier, clutching it to your chest. You were sure you would shatter into a thousand pieces if someone were to take the chest from you. Take the only remaining part of him from you.

You lean back towards the casket, pressing a gentle kiss to Jake’s forehead one last time before you would never see him again. Before Mother Earth claimed him as her own to bear.

You sit in front of the wooden chest, your heart pounding as you hold the envelope addressed to you in your hand. You stare at the handwriting, every part of you coming undone as you retain every detail of Jake’s handwriting, every loop, every slant, every dash, every single letter.

With a shaky breath and equally shaky hands, you open the letter, your eyes slowly crossing over each word on the page you just unfolded. With every sentence, your scarred heart tears back open with grief. Tears open to leave a wound that you acknowledge that will never heal. A wound that not even time will heal. A wound created because the love of your life was murdered by men he’d never met, who he had no genuine ill will or hatred towards, for the sake of leaders who never gave his death a second thought.

To my beloved Y/n,

There’s only two weeks left until I come back home. Mom’s treatment finishes next week, and she wrote to me last week to tell me that she’s almost fully recovered. And it makes me glad. Glad that I didn’t endure this for no reason. Glad that this suffering bore some fruits.

I have so much to say that I won’t go through in this letter. And it’s all because I want to gaze up at your eyes that intoxicate me so much while you hold me in your arms and lie on your lap when I tell you them.

But, when I come back, I’ll make you so happy that the sun will go green with envy watching how bright you shine and shower you with so much love that Cupid will use the sparks between us to fuel his arrows for all of eternity.

I’ll make sure to never make a single tear roll down your face unless it’s out of happiness because I refuse to let sorrow haunt the woman who never gave up on me during these two years. Because you are that woman, and you deserve the entire world, and I’d do anything to place it at your feet.

Forever and only yours,

Jake xx

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#𝓚iss me :: 𝓓on't say no

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amatariki · 2 days ago