amazinggracious

[amazinggracious]

I wasted 5 years of my life for NOTHING.

“Matalino ka, sa’yo pa nga ako nangongopya dati eh.”

“Matalino ka, TANDAAN mo.”

--

Kung matalino ako, bakit ganito na lang ako ngayon? Para saan pa yung talino na nagkaroon ako nung nag-aaral ako. Bakit hindi ko man lang magamit ngayon. Bakit puro damdamin na lang ang pina-iiral ko. Paano naman ako.

Puro emosyon kasi inuuna mo eh. Dapat utak. UTAK ANG UNAHIN. Gusto mo umasenso, UTAK ang unahin. Gusto mo matupad mga pangarap mo, UTAK ang unahin. Gusto mo magka-pera ng lubos lubos, UTAK ANG UNAHIN. HUWAG EMOSYON.

Matuto tayong labanan ang sakit na dulot ng mga salitang hindi maganda, hindi laging uunahin ang emosyon, paano tayo aasenso? Paano tayo makaka-akyat sa pedestal? Paano tayo uusad? HUWAG PURO EMOSYON.

“Think Wisely.”

UULITIN KO.

“Matalino ka, TANDAAN mo.”

-chin

[amazinggracious]

Is this enough as a Resignation Letter? :)

[amazinggracious]

Zombie by Day6

What day was yesterday? 어제는 어떤 날이었나? Was there anything special? 특별한 게 있었던가? I try to think of it 떠올려 보려 하지만 I don't think there was anything special 별다를 건 없었던 것 같아The same goes today 오늘도 똑같이 흘러가 Is it only me so hard? 나만 이렇게 힘들까 How to endure 어떻게 견뎌야 할까 Will it get better if I shout out to my heart? 마음껏 소리쳐 울면 나아질까Yeah, we live a life Yeah, we live a life Repeating day and night 낮과 밤을 반복하면서 Yeah, we live a life Yeah, we live a life Even if I try to change something, I can do it 뭔가 바꾸려 해도 할 수 있는 것도 I don't seem to have anything 가진 것도 없어 보여I feel like I became a zombie I feel like I became a zombie Empty head and heart 머리와 심장이 텅 빈 Thoughtless scarecrow 생각 없는 허수아비 When did it start like this, oh why? 언제부터 이렇게 된 걸까, oh why?I became a zombie I became a zombie I walk again without aim 난 또 걸어 정처 없이 No different tomorrow 내일도 다를 것 없이 I just live waiting to fall asleep 그저 잠에 들기만을 기다리며 살아 (Alive, alive) (살아, 살아)Yeah, we live a life Yeah, we live a life With my eyes open in the dark 어둠 속에서 눈을 뜬 채로 This meaningless life This meaningless life Even if I want to rest comfortably, even if I want to dream 편히 쉬고 싶어도, 꿈꾸고 싶어도 Can't do anything 아무것도 하지 못해I feel like I became a zombie I feel like I became a zombie Empty head and heart 머리와 심장이 텅 빈 Thoughtless scarecrow 생각 없는 허수아비 When did it start like this, oh why? 언제부터 이렇게 된 걸까, oh why?I became a zombie I became a zombie I walk again without aim 난 또 걸어 정처 없이 No different tomorrow 내일도 다를 것 없이 I just live waiting to fall asleep 그저 잠에 들기만을 기다리며 살아Confid in everything, wanna cry 다 털어놓고, wanna cry Put it all down, can I cry? 다 내려놓고, can I cry? Return my dry tears oh, oh 마른 내 눈물을 돌려줘 oh, ohI feel like I became a zombie I feel like I became a zombie Empty head and heart 머리와 심장이 텅 빈 Thoughtless scarecrow 생각 없는 허수아비 When did it start like this, oh why? 언제부터 이렇게 된 걸까, oh why?I became a zombie I became a zombie I walk again without aim 난 또 걸어 정처 없이 No different tomorrow 내일도 다를 것 없이 I just live waiting to fall asleep 그저 잠에 들기만을 기다리며 살아

-----------------------------------------------------------------

How is it that without even noticing we became something we only fear from the movies.

[amazinggracious]

“Sometimes, we cannot bear the thing we crave.”

“When my beloved calls my name— in the bathtub, in her bed, over the telephone, into a microphone or my ear— it closes my eyes, buckles me, thralls my insides with the sweet terror of being recognized. Sometimes, we cannot bear the thing we crave.”

— Melissa Febos, from “Call My Name,” published in Prairie Schooner

[amazinggracious]

Life is really being unfair only for those who would think that it is to them.

Thinking as if I have all the deepest and hardest problems that anyone could ever encounter and then seeing and realizing how my friends have to face their own struggles alone and me not even noticing it is really a slap in the face. Wow. I really have become a selfish one that only think of oneself.

How?

I ask myself how can I surpass this struggels and then seeing others not even minding me and having their own roads to cross. I realize i should really stop overthinking.

Overthinking.

A single word. A stupid mindset. A challenge that should be surpass. Sh*t.

Realization.

Sucks to be me. Sucks to be having this stupid mindset that I myself cannot even overcome stupid thinking of being a negative person. How can I surpass this?

I really want to stop this.

I really should stop being negative. Sh*t again.

Let us go and start living life and be more positive.

Sh*t.

Wow.

That was refreshing. Saying shit and actually meaning it every single fucking time.

Wow. Now that I see and realize how stupid and scared I was of being the person I should have been I finally want to let go of this fear. The fear of being judge and rejected by the society.

F*ck the system. Let me be me.

[amazinggracious]

Overthinking.