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amortentiaparker · 4 years ago

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FIRST LINE AND I'M ALREADY A GONER

also ribs by lorde??? peak coming of age and kissing in the rain with peter would be the only thing that would make my life complete

Comforting lover

a/n: i am still on a hiatus but this has been in my drafts for like 6 weeks so i figured , why not? I didn't proofread too much. Gif isn't mine <3

Pairing: Peter Parker x gn! reader

warnings: shitty writing, minimal proofreading

w/c: 1,064

comforting lover

Peter knew you as if every little part of you was tattooed on his skin and even if you plastered on fake smiles and showed everyone the fake version of who you really are, Peter was the only one who saw through all the fake smiles because only Peter noticed that the sparkle in your eyes had faded away and it broke his heart. You were always such a bright light to the cruel world and Peter knew that you were too good for this world and it pains him to see the way you’re hurting but you don’t want to worry him but he’s so in love with you that he will always notice everything about you, especially the stuff you don’t expect him to notice.

Your cheeks were hurting from having to flash fake smiles at all your friends and MJ and Betty had picked up on it almost instantly because they know you but they figured that the last thing you needed was to have more attention on you on your emotional state, they just wished that you didn’t try to pretend that you’re okay when they can see the way your hands shake and the way your smile never reaches your eyes, like it normally does. MJ and Betty exchange a look with Peter and he nods because oh god, you look so out of it and he just wants to hold you and try to help you, he wants nothing more than to hold your hand and kiss you but that’s not what friends do and he can’t think about his unrequited feelings when his favorite part of his days is in pain.

The day had finally ended and you felt a sense of relief wash over you because you wanted to be left alone, to listen to Taylor Swift in your room, but Peter was not letting you walk away from him when he had to sit in silence and watch how every star in your eye was gone. “Y/n, let me walk you home”, Peter whispered softly as he grabbed your hand, and he tried to ignore the aching feeling in his chest that screamed at him about how right it felt to hold your hand under the yellow glow of the sun.

He pushed those thoughts down as he attempted to make terrible science puns that would cause his insides to melt when he saw your face light up in vibrant hues as you threw your head back as you laughed but you didn’t even smile and he knew that something was not right, he could feel the sadness draining the happiness out of you and it killed him. He didn’t want you to feel obligated to tell him, but you were his best friend that he was in love with, he wanted you to know that you could tell him anything even if you were scared, he would never judge you, not ever.

You faced the entrance to your apartment and your frown deepened when Peter’s super hearing picked up on the sounds of other voices and he understood that you wanted to be alone and he battled his own thoughts before he whispered, “trust me” to you and he didn’t give you a chance to protest as he dragged you all the way to Central Park, he smiled goofily as he could see that little sparkle in your eyes start to return.

“Hey there, I know you’re not doing well and you don’t need to tell me, but I am here if you want to talk, but I brought you here because I wanted to cheer you up! Enjoy the show,”, Peter exclaimed as he scrolled through his playlist that he made for you, and your head snapped up when you heard the familiar tune of “Ribs” by Lorde, and your heart soared, this was your favorite song, and he remembered. Peter remembered everything about you as if his life depended on it, and if he was being honest, you were worth remembering. Peter was pulling you along and he encouraged you to let loose a little and you closed your eyes and let yourself dance.

Dancing with Peter was your freedom, to dance felt like you were a caged bird who had finally found a way out. You let yourself get lost in the movements and the feel of Peter’s hands in yours, you felt as if you were learning how to breathe for the first time, it felt so refreshing. You opened your eyes, and laughed with Peter as the rain poured down on both of you; your clothes were drenched, but neither of you seemed to care. You danced with Peter as he twirled you under the droplets that littered your skin like fresh tears and it was only when you felt yourself start to shiver that you were brought back to reality. Peter’s coffee-colored eyes glistened in adoration as he wrapped his jacket around you and held you closer to him and you didn’t even know that you spoke but as soon as the words left your mouth, you felt like the world had stopped turning. “I’ve always wanted a kiss in the rain”, You blurted out and Peter stopped short next to you and he was a stuttering mess and you looked at him expectantly. He grabbed your face, and kissed you as Lorde’s lyrics floated into the background. Peter was kissing you.

Peter’s lips have always fascinated you and you loved to watch the way he spoke, and even if you didn’t understand what he was saying, it was Peter and that was enough. You could have never imagined what it was like to feel his soft lips on yours; it was heaven and you didn’t want to be disconnected from them. You could feel the love songs that Peter’s heart sung as he kissed you with the words of a million unsent love letters.

Peter pulled away from you and looked at you with adoration that he had never hid from you, but you were too busy admiring Peter to notice that he had always been in love with you, and he always will be. You had an awful day but the sound of Peter’s laughter, the way he held you and kissed you with unwavering love, it had finally brought that color back into your life.

tags: @idkseraphine @hollandswife @the-girl-in-the-chair @lovehollandy12 @hollands-underoos @hunnybunimdun @iaminlovetomhollandmarvel @samaraaaaa @harmqnia @parkerdarling @nocturnalms @616films @tonystarksfavoritedaughter @hollandsmushroom @petesrparker @usergonnastealyourman @tom-softie @parkerpeter24

#LOVE THIS SM #peter parker #peter parker fic recs #ap fic rec

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amortentiaparker · 4 years ago

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addie you're gonna make me cry 😭

jump, then fall into me ⇔ p. parker

you have been having secret rendezvous with your long time best friend's superhero alter ego. a little miscommunication is actually the biggest problem in these circumstances.

pairing: peter parker x fem!reader

word count: 3.7k

warnings: nothing much, just mentions of blood and not yet proofread lmfao also the top tier genre of friends to lovers ;)

A/N: AAAA I'M BACK screw college for tearing me away from tumblr and writing about my one true love peter benjamin parker. i feel so bad for missing out on everything and i hope i reconnect with everyone soon 🥺

this is actually based on a request (thank you so much anon!) but i switched it up and wrote it fully in peter's pov- which i have never done before so let me know if it's alright :D and knowing my ass, you know there's t. swift references.

i'll be catching up on some missed notifications and I MISSED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU sending all the love

my masterlist

It wasn’t a secret that Peter was absolutely smitten with you. He didn’t mind if his closest friends taunted him about it. The only time he would lock the ‘secret’ in a closet and throw away the key is whenever it involves your knowledge of it. Peter could solve the most difficult, mind-boggling mathematical equations and yet he couldn’t piece together as to why he gets flustered at the notion of you knowing how oh so smitten he is with you. Peter couldn’t decide if it was technically a crush, but maybe it truly was; he was just too chicken to come to terms with it.

“Good morning.” Peter’s spidey senses couldn’t predict how much of an impact your soft voice in the morning would affect his entire system.

“Good morning,” Peter repeated with a breath and he knew that your laughter was directed at his surprised expression, yet he didn’t feel embarrassed. He would go to any lengths just to hear a few seconds of his favorite sound.

“What’s up with you today?” You asked as you put the combination to your locker.

Peter nearly missed the question as his focus was on the colorful bead bracelet wrapped around your wrist. It was borderline tacky and difficult to pair with outfits due to its color combination, but it warmed Peter’s heart when you insisted to wear it every single day after the two of you got it from a local Brooklyn shop. You both agreed to buy something from the knick-knacks store when you saw the sign that it was closing down. Peter still remembers the look on your face when he agreed to your joking suggestion to purchase the bracelets so that you two could match.

“What’s with you?” Peter turned the question around as he saw that you were practically glowing. He couldn’t explain how and why but you were. He’s seen you multiple times with highlighter-- you showed him the difference between pink and gold undertones too- on the tops of your cheekbones, but this look to you was something else. It was like coming from within, a thousand candlelights lit underneath your skin and emitted a warm glow that Peter was eternally drawn to.

“Nothing,” You shrugged. He immediately dusted off the tiniest piece of lint off the collar of your sweater. The close proximity between the two of you gave Peter the opportunity to glimpse at the infinitesimal twitch on the side of your lips that indicated a smile was fighting to break through. Though distance didn’t really matter when it came to him knowing your body language.

“You didn’t answer my question,” You pointed out as the two of you started to walk to class.

“Nothing also,” Peter replied, mimicking your shrug from earlier and a teasing smile etched on his lips. The smile only grew wider when he saw your narrowed eyes looking directly at him.

Thankfully, you let the subject drop. Peter hasn’t come up with an answer to your question anyways. How do you tell your best friend of many years that somewhere along the way, the lines have blurred and now you make their heart skip a beat?

The first subject for the day was Chemistry and Peter hasn’t gotten over the guilt of taking pleasure in the fact that the subject wasn’t particularly your strong suit. It meant that he always offered to help you out and whenever a pairing was needed for the class, the two of you gravitate to one another like magnets. You were getting better though. And quickly at that too; with you now actively participating in recitations and solving the more complicated assignments on your own. He’s more than proud of you. But Peter feared that your time together would be cut short, and he let his be worries known through his jokes during your study “dates.”

Then again, he knew that you could always see right through him and you responded to his jokes with serious reassurance that nothing’s going to change. He still hasn’t gotten over the feeling of blood rushing to his face when you said that it’s even better because once you kick Chemistry’s ass, then you and Peter would be an unstoppable power couple.

“Why so chipper?” Peter piped up as he watched you place your notebook and pens in neat order by the side of your shared table.

“Can’t a girl just simply be happy?” You replied, the words coming out of your mouth in a dreamy sigh.

“Yeah, but during the start of midterms week? Highly unlikely for Y/N Y/L/N.”

You let out a hum because of Peter’s words. He observed as the side of your mouth twitched again but this time, it was more likely that you were pondering over what to say next.

“Well,” You shrugged. “I have some motivation.”

Peter smiled. He was relieved to see you so relaxed when in the past few weeks, you have been ranting to him about how nervous you were for this particular practical Chemistry test. Well technically you were speaking to him, but not him as Peter, the curly-haired boy you spend nearly every day with; but as Spider-man, the masked vigilante of New York City who you have spent your free late afternoons chatting with on your apartment fire escape.

It all began at least three months ago, nearly the end of summer vacation before senior year, when Peter had just gotten back from a vacation in California with May. Peter wanted nothing more than to run- or swing- to your place after his feet had touched familiar New York ground, but Karen immediately alerted him of a major bank robbery going down in lower Manhattan. Peter could’ve left it to the authorities but Karen told him that things were getting ugly real fast and some dangerous, underground-made weapons were involved.

Having to fight off a group of ten would usually be a piece of cake but the robbers had obviously anticipated Spider-man’s arrival because they had a few pieces of tech that counteracted Peter’s attacks.

In the end, Peter was left with a deep cut on the side of his abdomen and had to retreat to a secluded alley to take a few breaths in to stabilize himself. Turns out, the alley wasn’t as private as he thought when you caught sight of him and immediately stopped in your tracks.

You had never met Spider-man before and that was a calculated effort on Peter’s part.

He didn’t want you caught up with his life as a ‘hero’ because your safety always comes first. But of course, there were days when he nearly burst because there was nothing more than Peter wants in the world than to be honest with you. He wanted to tell you stories of how funny the new wannabe villains littering New York are or his training in the Avengers compound with Mr. Bucky Barnes, who was actually a lot funnier than how the media paints him out to be.

“Mr. Spider-man, are you okay?” Peter let out a chuckle which quickly morphed into a wince.

Of course, you would go against Peter’s one wish of not talking to anybody dressed as Spider-man, even if it was the hero himself. The amount of swindlers in cheap yet realistic replica suits were increasing by the day and Peter always reminded you to be vigilant in the case you would run into one of them. He didn’t know whether to be relieved that it was the real deal you were approaching or worried that, despite the cover his mask provided, you found him in a vulnerable spot.

“I’m,” Breathe in, Peter. “Fine.”

Peter would’ve turned on his voice modulation system, but his head was pounding and the scent of blood filling his nostrils made him forget. He just hoped the rasp in his natural voice would conceal his identity from you.

“Should I call for help?” You asked and Peter was desperately trying to seize control over his stimulated senses. Everything was in overdrive and the best he could do was focus on you. Your bated breath, the soft patter of your footsteps, the faint speed of your heartbeat, just you.

“N-no,” He waved one of his hands. He heard your steps come to a stop. “I got it covered.”

It was true. The pain may be threatening to release a pained groan from him, but Peter could feel his super healing work.

“Are you sure?” He didn’t feel himself nod but he concluded that he did because you stepped closer. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Peter finally looked up from his slumped position and you looked so angelic just by simply standing there. The setting sun behind you cast some sort of halo around your head and your wide, worried eyes set a fire in his heart, bright and burning like the color the dusk sky was painting over the city. If it weren’t for the loud sirens in the background, Peter would’ve been worried that the feeling of his super healing was an illusion and he was actually in heaven already.

“It’s alright, Miss,” Peter let out slowly. He nearly called you by your name. “I will be okay.”

As if to prove a point, he finally pushed himself up from the grimy brick wall and stood up straight in front of you. Tears pricked his waterline as the new position pulled at his open wound but you didn’t need to see and know that.

“Okay, uhm…” You shied away from looking at the white eyes of his mask to dig into the paper bag you were holding. You held out a sandwich wrapped in plastic.

“It’s no Delmar’s, a.k.a the best sandwich place in Queens, you should check them out if you happen to be in the area, my best friend and I love that place…” You were rambling now, a clear sign that you were nervous. “But here ya go.”

Peter’s smile was from ear to ear, but obviously it was out of sight for you, so he voiced his thanks out loud. A shiver ran up his spine as your fingers made contact with his gloved ones. It was an effect only you could induce onto him.

“How can I repay you, Miss…?”

“Y/N,” You smiled before shaking your head. “And there’s no need to. You do enough by protecting this city.”

Peter wanted to hug you and never let you go.

“Well, can I at least walk you home, Miss Y/N?” Peter offered a gloved hand.

In the back of his mind, there was a faint voice chastising him for getting close to you as Spider-man. But all that time spent away from you with nothing but FaceTime to connect to each other this summer, the selfish need to be around you overpowered his anti-hero protectiveness.

“Oh! Sure!” Peter heard your heartbeat grow erratic and he had to ignore the ego boost it gave him.

“Is it alright if I, uh,” Peter stepped closer to you. He placed a tentative hand on your waist. He wasn’t fully holding onto you yet but his gesture was obviously hinting at something.

“Oh, uhm, sure,” You whispered. “I thought we were going to walk?”

“Much faster and less media,” Peter shrugged, his arm now starting to slowly snake around your waist, as if to test the waters. He could tell that you didn’t see him as a threat so he proceeded to tighten his grip. “Hold on tight.”

“Oooh, Peter’s so going to kill me.” You whispered, mostly to yourself. Peter distracted himself from laughing by raising his web shooter to the direction of the sky.

Peter heard your squeal before the roar of the wind flooded his ears. Your grip on his torso got tighter every time the two of you dipped and shot back up above the New York skyline.

“Open your eyes!” Peter shouted through the wind. He felt your grip tighten once more and your face burrowed deeper into his suit-clad neck.

“No!” You exclaimed, nails digging into his shoulders.

“Don’t be afraid,” Peter managed to chuckle. He looked down at you for a second and saw how tightly closed your eyes were. “Please.”

He felt you huff before slowly lifting your head from where it seeked sanctuary in the junction between his neck and shoulder. You only had one eye open at first, fear evident in it. But once the golden light hit your cheek, an awestruck look immediately took over. A second later, both your eyes were finally open, slack jawed as you took in the sight of your home from this view up above.

The both of you were nearing Queens and Peter realized that he hadn't asked you where you lived. Of course, Peter knew but Spider-man didn’t. It would be creepy if he just landed on your apartment’s rooftop and gave no explanation whatsoever.

You were obviously in a trance whilst giving him the directions. Your eyes were still taking in the city and Peter found himself smiling once more underneath his mask.

Eventually, he landed by your fire escape. You were opposed to his rooftop suggestion because there may be people there right now, taking in the slipping moments of the summer weather.

You gave him many thank you’s and grabbed the sandwich from the paper bag where you stashed it earlier before you practically flew over the city. Peter’s stomach grumbled once the sandwich was in his hand.

“Wait…” You spoke, starting to stare at him with an apprehensive look to your face. “Are you the real Spider-man?”

“What?” Peter chuckled. Mostly because he found the furrow of your eyebrows endearing.

“Are you?” You pressed. “God, I’m such an idiot. This was what my best friend was warning me about!”

Peter just stood there letting you rant, watching in amusement. The adrenaline must’ve finally worn off and you were just starting to truly take everything in that just happened. On the bright side, at least you were always thinking of Peter’s warnings. Good girl.

“You’re asking that after I literally shot webs out of my wrist and clung to buildings?” Peter asked, his teasing tone creating a deeper divot in the middle of your forehead.

“Maybe you’re just a really good con artist,” You stubbornly replied, crossing your arms.

“I’m the real Spider-man, Y/N,” Peter said, starting to step backwards. “I promise I’ll pay you back.” Was the last thing he said before backflipping away from your fire escape.

And pay you back came in the form of him taking up the role of listening to your rants. Of course, what you told him were mostly the same things you told Peter, your completely normal, unenhanced best friend, but he didn’t mind. He could listen and watch you talk for hours about everything and anything.

What really thrilled Peter was that you talked to him- Spider-man- about Peter. You’d tell him about what you did for the day but this time, Peter could hear about the role he plays in your day to day life. It melted his heart every time you would tell Spidey a joke Peter told you. The double life situation was a conundrum, but Peter wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Maybe I’m just excited to see somebody later.”

Your words brought Peter back to the present.

“What?” He asked as he put on his lab goggles.

He finally looked at your eyes and he saw that same twinkling look you had when you fawned over that stupid Timothée Chalamet who the two of you met by a fancy restaurant in East Village almost one and half years ago. The adoration ran deep and the last time he saw that gaze in your eyes before the Timothée incident was when you briefly “dated” Ben Carter the summer before freshman year.

That look only meant one thing: you were talking about a crush.

Peter’s heart was hammering in his chest and he so badly wanted to ask you about this someone, despite how scared he was for the answer. But the teacher just had to start the timer for the 30 minute examination.

He didn’t know if it was a conscious effort, but Peter was subtly avoiding you throughout the entire day. Last minute sitting next to Ned during lunch or letting out a fake laugh when you made a pun during History class. The only way he could justify his actions was facing the fact that he was a coward and didn’t want to deal with the knowledge that you liked somebody else.

In order to have an outlet for his frustrations, Peter immediately got suited up after class and left to do his usual route. But still, you occupied his thoughts. He even had to ask Karen if there was something to do just to get his mind off you, but surprisingly the streets weren’t in need of Peter’s Avengers level assistance.

It was already dark by the time Peter decided to go home, May’s text that she made baked lasagna somehow lifted his spirits. But from where he was, he had to pass by your place before getting to his. He nearly forgot about your agreement to meet (you told him to come anytime), with him as Spider-man of course, so he made the conscious decision to really get near your building. He hoped you were up for a conversation.

You were merely a tiny dot in the distance, but Peter already knew that it was you. You were sitting criss cross on one of the chairs your neighbors set up on the rooftop. Your usual meetup spot would be by your fire escape because it was more private that way and he’d get your attention by knocking on your window to the opening beat of Another One Bites The Dust. But maybe the universe had something different for Y/N and Peter today. And with Peter came Spider-man.

As he got closer, as if there was an invisible string pulling him to you, he saw that you were fiddling with one of the fairy lights set up behind the chairs, a defeated look on your face.

Peter sighed and decided to finally make his way closer. The familiar thwip caught your attention and you sat up straighter. Usually, you would be a lot more chipper to see the superhero, but you had an almost imperceptible frown on your face that immediately worried him.

“Hello, Y/N,” His voice sounded foreign to him as Karen immediately turned on his voice modulation setting. “Are you alright?”

“No.” Was your simple reply before hugging your knees to your chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

It was always like this; your comfortable routine with Spider-man. Whenever you had a problem, which was rare, he would always ask if you wanted to talk about it. If no, he’d understand and change the subject and if yes, you would give him the condensed version because at that point, the heavy feeling in your chest has most likely settled already because you had talked about it to Peter before seeing the hero by your fire escape.

You never told Peter any of your secret meetings with the hero, but it didn’t bother him. He liked how you were very respectful of Spider-man’s privacy that you didn’t go around bragging about how you occasionally hung out with New York’s hero.

“I think so,” You sighed. “Remember Peter? My best friend?”

Peter stood up straighter at this and nodded, “What about him?”

“Well I finally got the courage to see who he really is,” You trailed off, which caused a bead of sweat to break on Peter’s temple. Where were you going with this?

Who he really is? Last time he checked he wasn’t a bad person. Or did he do something that was bad in your eyes? Because he would go on his knees to beg for your forgiveness in the blink of an eye.

“Peter’s someone I,” You started tearing up and Peter panicked, not knowing how to approach. Spider-man hasn’t hugged you ever, unless the time he swung you home counted. “Someone I’m in love with.”

It was as if his brain short circuited and he couldn’t produce any other word to come out of his mouth other than, “What?”

“Yeah, I finally came to terms with my feelings and- god, sorry, this should’ve gone differently,” You sniffed. “I was so excited this morning to tell you because you’re the only person who I could tell that wouldn’t freak out and cause a scene, but here we are…”

“W-what happened?” Peter was opting to use words that were simple and easy to string together.

“I don’t know,” You wailed, tears now freely falling down your cheeks. “I even had the stupid thought that, ‘hey! Maybe I should tell him!’ but he just started ignoring me.”

Peter wanted to reply with ‘well that Peter’s a jerk’ or some other form of insult towards himself, but his mouth moved before he could fully think, “Maybe he likes you back.”

It was the first time tonight that you looked at him and your lips formed into a half smile, letting out a sarcastic laugh that contrasted against the sad gleam in your eyes.

“No- no, he doesn’t,” You wiped at the stream of tears and it was official, your confession has rendered Peter’s brain useless and his heart was doing all the thinking for him.

“Peter has never ignored me on a normal day,” You continued but quickly stiffened as his gloved hand cupped your cheek and his thumb gently wiped away at a stray tear. “He didn’t even laugh at my, very good may I add, Aaron Brrrr joke earlier and left me after class. He’s never left me alone on purpose.”

“Peter’s an idiot,” He said, coaxing a small giggle out of you. “And very sorry.”

“What-”

It was time, Peter thought. The opportunity presented himself and he gathered whatever superhero bravado he could find. He wasn’t going to tiptoe around feelings when it’s already out there. By some unknown reason, you actually felt the same for him. That was the last push he needed.

Peter slowly took off his mask, and despite him promising himself to stop using his enhanced abilities on you, it was hard to ignore how loud your heart was beating. The bustle of New York was white noise at this point.

“I’m in love with you too.”

left it to an open ending because MWAHAHAHA it's up to you my loves,, i hope you liked it and i'd really appreciate the feedback! ❤️

tag list (also tagging people who i hope will like! <3) @woahmrstark @elios-timotea @decadentwastelandtrash @thevery-firstpage @xetherealbeautyx @love-you-to-saturn @givebuckyhisplumsnow @imawhoreforu @ysywyw626 @spideyspeaches @bakugouswh0r3 @lauramacch @moonykiss @616films @vendettaparker @celestialholland @parkerpeter24 @alinastarkrovs @daiiybuugle @hunnybunimdun

#so sweet #i love user celestialholland forever and ever

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