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Awol.

Seeing as it's the new year and all, I s'pose it's only fair that I wipe the slate clean with a much needed sabbatical. My little flower girl isn't easy to write like she used to be, and she certainly isn't anywhere near as happy. It's a shame really, especially since a handful of lovely people are willing to humour me, and a few new faces have extended the hand of friendship to try and attempt some form of interaction. I do feel like I'm being immensely rude for not trying to force it a little further, but alas, I think my muse is tired - although of what I'm not certain. She just can't seem to form the necessary words these days; truthfully, neither can I. Lucrecia is much easier to pen. Sarcasm and cynicism are far more forgiving to a battered old soul than perpetual sunshine. Ifalna even, seems to be remerging from her quiet confines in search of a proper voice. So I think largely from now on that's where I'll be. On the cantankerous lady of science CrystallineCrescent  and on the clandestine hippy herself: MotherofSacrifice. I'm sure Aerith will drag herself out of this muse-shaped rut eventually, but until she does, let's just say she's eloped with her menagerie of pets for an adventure laden holiday.

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" Even stereotypes have to have some basis in fact. Things need cleaning and things need to grow. It's not gender specific, I just happen to be a girl that engages in such things. As for subjects stereotypically more suited to the role of masculine testosterone bunnies, topics of discussion include Aeronautics, Chocobo racing, or the intricacies of SOLDIER mandated cooking." Maybe it was stretching the truth a little. Aerith understood about as much about aeronautics as a fish knew of dry land, but she could remember the intricacies Cid had discussed with her about internal combustion and all the associated mess. Chocobo racing was hardly rocket science, but it seemed inoffensive enough to throw into this exchange of words, and SOLDIER cooking, or lack thereof, was entirely based on her experiences of Zack's stellar ability to remove flavour and conjure Salmonella simultaneously. None of this was entirely relevant of course, but when faced with the possibility of discussing something outside of the remit of her usual flowery disposition, certain liberties had to be taken. "…or - and this is just a suggestion now, you could admit that flowers and cleanliness aren't exclusive to members of the female disposition, so I don't have to pretend to bluff my way through an entire conversation based on quintessentially more 'manly' topics."

“Dusting and flowers ain’t exactly changing any stereotypes but sure. What testosterone-filled subjects would you know about exactly?”

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sorceressknight said: “Well that’s a girly conversation starter…

"Who said it had to be a conversation starter? It could just be a mild mannered, yet slightly uneventful observation that I've clearly been slipping in my duties as this old ruin's caretaker. I wouldn't have said that was particularly girly. Although if it is conversation you're after, I'm sure I can conjure up something a little more testosterone friendly than the growing habits of flowers."

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"It's amazing how often two worlds can collide. I'm not comfortable in the slightest wearing this getup, but in an entirely artistic way, there's something quite nice about a shirtless General dressed as a matador."

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"…I really need to stop letting the church get so dusty. It's a wonder anything can grow with all these cobwebs."

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It's fine Bambi, I know you've been busy, I could've come to see you sooner. But I will never turn down the opportunity for sweets. I can hold on tightly for as long as you need me to - I won't hit a guy when he's down.

"You don't have to smile all the time, it's not weakness to show that you're buckling under the strain of it.Those friends are still there, I think. Maybe you just need to look a little harder sometimes and be patient. They'll always come back eventually. So maybe we need to stop waiting for the sun and we'll just sit under the umbrella and wield a flashlight until the dark and gloomy day passes instead."

Right I’m sorry I haven’t visited, but I’ll be sure to bring sweets next time I swing by. And it’s been a while since I’ve been held so tightly. Also, I’ve been slapped less. “Maybe I’ve been just feeling so down on myself because I’ve been too busy smiling to make it all go away. I don’t know. That small group of people has since abandoned me or moved on. And who can blame them? It’s been a rainy couple of months, and I don’t see any light coming soon. Maybe I just need my angel again to show me the sun.” 

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It's what friends are for. The cuddle-den hasn't been the same without you.

"It makes more sense than you know. I think we all feel like that at some point. Like we're drowning on dry land, or screaming at the top of our lungs and nobody even looks up. Sometimes, all we really want is to be invisible yet still have that small group of people that can still see, and I mean really see us. It's just a case of trying to find the perspective. You can't have a rainbow without enduring the rain."

If you really want that, yeah. Because I would really like that. “I hope so. I do. And I know that I have friends, but… you ever feel lonely in a crowd of people? Does that even make sense?” 

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It doesn't mean I don't still worry about you; or stop me from cuddling you, you scruffy muppet.

"There's plenty of us here. We won't abandon you if you need a reason to smile again. It's just a little bump in the road. Things will get better, you'll see."

In a completely plutonic fashion, mind you.

“Cheer up, eh? The world can’t smile with you, if you’re feeling so gloomy. It’s just one night. Maybe tomorrow things will be better.”

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In a completely plutonic fashion, mind you.

"Cheer up, eh? The world can't smile with you, if you're feeling so gloomy. It's just one night. Maybe tomorrow things will be better."

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Operation: Get Tseng Into A Hideous Jumper.