ancientgreekshitposts

[ancientgreekshitposts]

so last night i was organizing my family's offering baskets one for each of the gods (we're a very religious household) and somehow i mixed up the offerings for Hades and Demeter the bastards worked together to merc my aunt she was physically unable to eat for a month found a paper on her bed the day she passed that said "For Theodoros, with love - H - D" i am theodoros and i have been disowned

[ancientgreekshitposts]

imagine being one of the men on that voyage with odysseus and randomly saying something like

"if all but one of us died, who do you think it would be"

who may the general consensus have come to

who would odysseus himself guess, would he go with eurylochus or joke about elpenor making it

[ancientgreekshitposts]

wonder how aristophanes feels after arguably getting socrates executed

[ancientgreekshitposts]

apparently the rooster that i had set aside for asclepius had cancer

apparently all of my roosters have cancer

apparently my family now has cancer

[ancientgreekshitposts]

maybe empedocles was right?

like, his sandal got spit out by the volcano, that could mean one of two things:

1. empedocles died from jumping into a volcano

or

2. empedocles ascended to godhood and kicked off his sandals in relaxation

each is equally likely to have happened

[ancientgreekshitposts]

as i was going to sacrifice one of the family swine to Dionysius, it somehow ran off

now all the wine in the house has turned to vinegar, my crops have died, and my son ran off into the wilderness

[ancientgreekshitposts]

Just saw a play by this guy named Aeschylus

Immaculate performance, 100/10

Not gonna explain the plot here since everyone has already seen it

[ancientgreekshitposts]

I went to this local philosopher named Pythagoras since his teachings sounded interesting

Inside every bean is a man

But then, he randomly started talking about math ???

Gods why must you punish me so

[ancientgreekshitposts]

“Man is a featherless biped” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person has at least one feather. Featherless Georg, who has -200 million feathers, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[ancientgreekshitposts]

made 40 loaves of bread last night forgot which one was the sacred offering digestive system's haunted

[ancientgreekshitposts]

offered a clam to poseidon dropped it stepped on it now my foot is bleeding and the waves are laughing at me religion is so hard

[ancientgreekshitposts]

VERY IMPORTANT question for pythagoras: what constitutes a bean

[ancientgreekshitposts]

someone came to the temple today with a headache i told them to sleep in the snake pit like always they woke up speaking fluent carthaginian