anderperry4lifer

[anderperry4lifer]

girl crush

just when i thought i was getting over her she just had to look beautiful at formal last night and make me fall for her even more

[anderperry4lifer]

growing up?

journal extract 6/11/2023

it scares me to think that there is a possibility that i will no longer love things how i do now when i get older. when my frontal lobe develops, i mean. will i still love and feel deeply as 16 year old me does? 'wait 'til your frontal lobe has developed before you get a tattoo' my sister says. but when it does develop are you saying that i will no longer enjoy the things i do now? i cannot picture future me without seeing myself now. and of course that's a bit obvious but, is it? if my appearance and outward look on life changes, fine. but my heart? how cruel could she become? i don't want to change. i'm scared of my brain forcing me to. to make me lose my spark. developing that frontal lobe will feel like losing a major part of me- who i am. i cannot let her go. the one who feels and thinks and loves deeply... but she will be taken away from me and there is nothing i can do to control it.

[anderperry4lifer]

probably shouldn’t have rewatched this last night but it did make me very very sad and empty which was exactly what i wanted to feel for some reason! 

Mysterious Skin (2004), dir. Gregg Araki